There it was. The CN Tower. It was just as glorious as Bob remembered from his youth. The gleaming shaft that led to the illustrious radio antenna always sent shivers of joy down his spine.
"That’s a big ass tower!" said Taylor.
"Yes, yes it is," Bob replied. "Would you like to visit it?"
"No, not really."
"Too bad."
Bob pulled into the Canadians only zone. Taylor stumbled out of the car flat onto his face. They began to walk to the tower.
"Hey man," said Taylor, "You gonna tell me what that whole thing back there was about?"
"No, not yet," said Bob, "The time will come."
The duo approached the ticket counter.
"Hello sir, Mr. Crowe, how may I help you?" asked the overly friendly clerk.
"I’m not Russell Crowe," said Bob.
Not you, that stunning specimen next to you."
"Huh?" said Taylor.
"Yeah, you. I knew it right when you stumbled out of the car. You Aussies are used to having a steering wheel on that side of the car to help you out. It was
clear from your fall that you were having trouble with the good ole’ Canadian way."
"Don’t you think I look like Russell Crowe?" asked Bob.
"No," replied the clerk.
"Oh. So you don’t want me to sign your heel?"
"No, why?"
"Oh. Good."
The clerk pressed a red button under her desk. Sirens began to blare and lights began flashing. Bob grabbed Taylor by the shoulder and lunged out the door. Two
Ontario Provincial Policeman pursued quickly on horse. Just when the horses were about to catch up with them, Taylor and Bob leapt into their car. Bob had conveniently left the car running so they were able to speed away without any trouble.
"Geez," said Bob, "That was a little too close."
"What was THAT all about?" asked Taylor.
"I think I am a sellout."
"What?"
"I have committed a vulgar sin by going to play Canada’s sport for an American team."
"I just realized... I'm from Thunder Bay! What are we going to do?" Taylor seemed on the verge of crying, and Bob was quite tentative with his response.
"We need to find a barrel..."
Chapter 8 - Over Niagara Falls