One day a man walked out of his house and onto the street.
"Good day world," said the man, "I am so happy to see you!"
The man then went to the store to buy himself a newspaper.
"Hi store man!" said the man, "I would like a newspaper!"
"Hey," said the store man, "Aren�t you Bob Essensa?"
"Why yes," replied Bob, "I most certainly am."
"What made you sign with the Sabres?"
This perplexed Bob. He did not know that he had signed with the Sabres. The store man noticed the confusion and tried to help.
"John Murphy said it, it must be true!"
This made good sense to Bob, as John Murphy was only one step down from God in his book.
"Well," said Bob, "How about that. I guess I better be going then. G�day!"
"You aren�t Australian."
"Eh, who really cares?"
"Good point."
Bob walked out of the store and went to a different one.
This store was bigger and shinier than the previous one. It was here Bob met his soul mate, but we will talk about that later. Bob went in to purchase some rotten bananas and stale donuts, as they could both be had for 10 cents a dozen. As he began to eat a 6 day old jelly filled donut, he noticed someone staring at him.
"Aren�t you-"
"Yes," replied Bob, knowing the question.
"COOL!! I have always admired you. Would you sign my heel?"
Bob had received some weird requests in the past, but this one was certainly the weirdest. What was there to lose though?
"Sure."
Bob took out his Sharpee that he carried with him everywhere and proceeded to sign the gentleman�s heel. Ending with his trademark swirl, Bob looked up and smiled at the man.
"There you go."
The man did not look pleased.
"What is that? Ess-En-Sa? You mean you aren�t Russell Crowe?"
"Um, no."
"Damn you bastard!"
The man left, frantically rubbing at his heel. Bob made a note to himself to never pretend to be Australian again, as it only results in pain.
Chapter 2 - Outside HSBC Arena