THESE ARE THE CONVEYANCES WHICH SHALL HENCEFORTH BE FORBIDDEN

I. THAT WHICH DOTH NOT DEPLETE

• a) Personal Craft ( In addition to not depleting any Scarce Natural Resources, they cannot go very fast, do not hog up enough space, and have no space in which to consume Cheeseburgers and Beer. )
  • i) Skateboards
  • ii) Rollerblades
  • iii) Bicycles
• b) Group Conveyances
  • i) Those silly things which are sort of like sailboats, but have wheels: This speaks for itself. These items are a mockery.

II. THAT WHICH HATH NOT THE REQUISITE NUMBER OF WHEELS

[incomplete plan citation deleted] Vehicles with less than 4 wheels are prohibited.

• a) Motorcycles
• b) GEVs
• c) Unicycles

III. BOATS

There won't be any large surfaces of water to use these on, and they have no wheels. Thus, they are forbidden.

• a) Motorized
  • i) Speed Boats (wrong, but perhaps the owners are only misguided paver wannabes - they do offer speed and freedom of direction to the operator on proto- Paveworld(tm) & waste SNRs)
  • ii) Cruisers
  • iii) Oil Tankers (not nearly so evil as other conveyances)
• b) Wind Powered
• c) Submersible

IV. THAT WHICH TOUCHETH NOT THE SACRED ASPHALT

Basically, this is anything flying. The purpose of PaveWorld (tm) is to revel in the conference between asphalt and tire rubber at mach 3. You cannot do this if there is no conference. [Addendum: it has been found, however, that aircraft consume large quantities of fuel, and thus are useful for polluting.]

• a) Fixed Wing Aircraft
  • i) Powered
  • ii) Gliders (most evil of evils)
• b) Rotary Wing Aircraft
  • i) Powered
  • ii) is there any other kind?
• c) Lighter than Air
  • i) Balloons
  • ii) Zeppelins & Derigibles
• d) Tunnelling Equipment (like that used for the Chunnel)

V. THAT WHICH MAKETH A POINT OF CONSERVING SCARCE RESOURCES

If your truck was earning fifteen miles to the gallon, and you have tuned it up so it now gains thirty miles to the gallon, you have earned yourself a hasty condemnation to the HydroPits (tm).

VI. THAT WHICH TRAVERSES THE RAILS OF ASPHALTIC INTERFERENCE

Trains shall not be allowed. They can only travel where tracks are, can only be driven by one of the occupants, and the tracks get in the way of HyperCars (tm). They shall not be allowed.

VII. THE YUGO

Enough said.

VIII. BEASTS OF BURDEN

Animals may not be used for transport. Horses, Camels, Mules and Orangutangs are not supposed to survive Paveday (tm) let alone remain in their traditional role as beasts of burden. Additionally, they are unsightly and odorous.

IX. CONVEYANCES MEANT FOR USE ON FROZEN WATER

• a) Single Person
  • i) Skis
  • ii) Sleds
  • iii) Those silly disk things
  • iv) Luge (There will be no luging on Paveworld (tm))
  • v) Snowshoes
• b) Multi-Person
  • i) Tobaggons
  • ii) Bobsleds
• c) Miscellaneous Craft
  • i) Iceboats

Max Natzet

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