a normal man (was: Re [pf] Pothead Heaven)

At 17:53 4/1/2001 -0800, Julia Grella wrote:
> .. Yes, smoking anything is bad for the respiratory and immune system.
Yes, pot decreases the will and ability to carry out and follow through on
plans.  ... It's also been my impression that pot is a "male" drug, in that
it has a strong appeal to men.  Maybe it's because it allows them to be
"soft," to relax from the striving that is expected of them on a day to day
basis.
>
>JMHO, Julia
>
· I think there's a lot to that last observation, Julia.

· I want to add, though, that some men can stand up to the 'all-powerful" :

    _what_is_expected_of_them_ by the men /and/ women around them

better than most other males. My 6'3" 27yo son's best friend is a hard
worker in the IT industry, earning just up from the bottom of the top
decile of income here in NZ, while Peter has occasionally gone looking for
work suitable for his interests (similarly IT) and qualifications (a
graduate degree in Computer Science). But he's still "frittering away" his
time here at home with me, my wife, and his sister (back at University
after a couple of years mainly overseas). While Bera still has her physics
lecturing job, Pete gets $25 a week from her (I think; it's none of my
business and I haven't inquired), i.e. ~$1,300 a year. He could, here in
NZ, be supported by the State at $7,300 a year, though he'd almost
certainly be required to take a job of a type he would not enjoy doing.
I've guaranteed all our children that they can live under the same roof
with me and eat the same food that I do (those 10 items, starting with
bread and cabbage), with no time limit. I'm happy that he's here, doing
little except practice his skills with his mid-range computer (he was
teaching himself *perl* recently), since it fits the purpose of my
guarantee: people _shouldn't_ work at jobs they don't enjoy - there's far
too much work being done (with the consequent money being spent and
resources used), and going out with his friends every couple of weeks. But
I'm a bit concerned about what he'll do after we oldest retire to the Farm,
2 hours away from the metropolis of Auckland. However, as I've said to
Ruth: "it's your life - _you_ live it!".

· After that thumbnail sketch, to my point. Pete has always been quiet, but
good company; wanting little, but with an underlying stubbornness. He, in
contrast to most young men I know, feels only limited necessity to conform
(he does drive a nice car and worry about zits); beyond that he does what
/he/ wants. He's always been "soft" in Julia's parlance; I used to call him
a 'future person' when he was half his age.

· So not all men need drugs before they'll "show their feminine side" (as
someone else might say it). Be normal, not distorted by imposed roles, in
my view.

David.
(David MacClement) davd@ihug.co.nz 
http://www.geocities.com/davdd.geo/index.html#top
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