I am leaving the questions Molly posed below that I am responding to in general.

 

Who knows what I would really do if I found myself in such a situation?  But let me share some general thoughts that I have had on quality-of-life issues in recent weeks.

 

Part of this stems from my reading about the Terri Schiavo case, the Florida woman in a “vegetative state” and whose parents and husband are fighting in court over the right thing to do.  You wouldn’t know this if you get your news from the mainstream press, but in conservative, fundamentalist Christian circles this story is *huge.*  They see this as a case indicative of the who right-to-life movement.

 

Reading about this case and other factors have strongly influenced my feelings (I hate to say opinions because my feelings are more fluid) on suffering in relation to life-and-death situations.

 

--Conversations on LIM about abortion.  I have long had terribly mixed feelings about this subject.  I am not going to re-state them here.

--My own struggles with the recognition of my mortality, revolving mainly around my case of thyroid cancer and being an older mother of younger children.

--My husband’s description of his mother’s death from pancreatic cancer at age 49.

--My religious beliefs.

 

I guess what I see as my true “home” will be what I call “after death.”  This existence now is a transition, from where I was before (if anywhere?) to what I will become (I believe that to be something, but even if it’s wormfood, that’s OK).  To reach that point I must experience the freefall of human existence, which matures me into the being I will be.  I’m not saying that’s the reason for it happening.  I am just describing a process.

 

To end suffering or cut it short may not be in the best interest of the bearer.  Many people who die a lingering death report a journey of emotional growth during that time.  Certainly the people around the dying make such a journey.

 

Unfortunately, I’ve just been called to a meeting, so I can’t amplify much more right now.  I guess I just want to say that we cannot really know the mysteries, benefits and detriments of the transition from “life” and “death” until we experience them ourselves.

 

I think for me I would lean toward trying to love and care for such a child the best way I could.

 

Diane Fitzsimmons

Norman , Okla.