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| Types of swinging Is there such a thing as a real "swinger"? We doubt it. Some might feel that if you don't go "all the way", that you are not really a swinger. Does it really matter? No, and it doesn't really matter what someone else thinks. Whats important is that you take it at a pace you are both comfortable with. If that means no penetration, then so be it! Just make sure you let the other people know ahead of time what you and your spouse have decided on. I think that you will find that most people will not reject you and would still be interested in playing. With that said, now would be a good time to let you become familiar with a few new vocabulary words: Soft Swap or Soft Swinging-has different meanings. It's important to make sure the people using the term have the same definition as you to avoid confusion. One of the most common definitions is to have sex with another couple without penetration. Also used to mean an atmosphere where sex is not expected. Some also soft swing to define having sex with your partner with another couple present. Full Swap- having sex with another couple including penetration. Closed Swinging - sexual relations where the two partners are in different rooms. Some also use this term to mean just that only those invited are allowed to participate. Open Swinging - A couple swinging with another couple in the same room. In a party setting, can also mean that others are allowed to join in. Foursome-Sex among two couples who play as one group. Possible interaction between the two women if they are bi, but very rarely between the men. Group Sex-Sex with more than two people. Usually in a party situation, a place is set aside for people to have sex as a group. Same as orgy. |
| Age Wouldn't it be great if you went to a club or function and everyone there were really attractive couples in your own age group? At first, yes. But then the lifestyle would lose one of it's great dynamics. The ability to socialize, make friends and maybe even have some experiences with couples that bring something different to the table. In the outside world, the things we build friendships on are age, careers, age of children and common interests. In the lifestyle, the unique bond is sexuality, a liberated sexuality that crosses age and sex, career and other boundaries. Many times, people find out after the fact that they would have gotten along well. Older people are afraid to approach younger couples, thinking they would not be interested in older couples. Younger couples do the same, thinking older couples prefer couples more mature than themselves. If you think of your experiences as a journey, you will find that making friends of all ages can give you new perspectives and great fulfillment. By being open minded, you just might find yourself pleasantly surprised. Your first swing Here you are, with the kids at the babysitters, enjoying a glass of wine with another couple. If it's your first time, or theirs, everyone is probably nervous, not knowing what to do first. If you haven't done so already, now would be a great time to talk about your limits, what you feel comfortable with, etc. Talking it out first might seem weird to whoever brings it up first, but you know its on everyone's mind. More than likely, everyone will breathe a sigh of relief that it's out on the table. Many couples, including us, find it easier to start with our own partners, simply kissing or massaging. Don't be afraid tokeep a dialogue going with the other couple. We are programmed to think of sex as a quiet, intimate moment. But if you can keep talking, joking and laughing, you will keep everyone at ease and bring something new and exciting to your experience. When everyone then feels comfortable you can start carressing and kissing the other couple. From here on, your on your own. Here are some other ideas people use to feel comfortable. Strip Poker - No, not sitting at the kitchen table. Make a warm inviting spot on the floor, with pillows, blankets and anything else that would make you feel comfortable. Naked Twister - Start by playing regular Twister. When someone falls, everyone must take off a piece of clothing. Board Games - Take your favorite board game and change the rules!! Spin the Bottle - As an added bonus, it will make you think you are 16 again! Erotic Dice - Available at your local adult store, you roll the dice and do what it says. (We've tried this with mixed results). Adult Movies - While the guys make fun of the cheesy music from the '70s, the girls can laugh at their makeup. 20 Questions - This is a great ice breaker and a great way to learn alot about another couple in a short period of time. 2 Minute Massage - Get your egg timer and everyone takes turns giving and getting a massage until the bell goes off. A good one for when theres more than two couples present. |
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