Good Things To Say When You're Stressed
***************************************

1. Ok, Ok! I take it back... "Un-fuck you!"

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing!

3. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

4. Well, today was a total waste of aftershave

5. Don’t bother me... I'm living happily ever after

6. Do I look like a fucking people-person?

7. This isn't an office, It's HELL with fluorescent lighting

8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left

9. I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me

10. YOU!!!.........Get off my planet!!

11. Therapy is expensive ... popping bubble wrap is cheap ... You choose!

12. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of
self-control

13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed

14. ...And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.......?

15. I'm not crazy......I've been in a bad mood for 30 years

16. Sarcasm just one more service I offer

17. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

18. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable

19. Stress is when you wake up screaming then realise you haven't gone to
sleep yet

20. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

21. I work 50 hours a week to be this poor

22. Nice perfume! You must marinate in it

23. Wait.... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality

24. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work is done here!

25. You look like shit.... Is that the style now?

26. Earth is full.... GO HOME!!

27. I'm not tense...just terribly, terribly alert

28. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth

29. You're depriving some village of an idiot

30. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.