I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the Canadian one
is actually a commercial and is all true!)
Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an
igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally
or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain
they're really, really nice.
I
have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English &
French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it
'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sew my
country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace
keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT
assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A
TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST
LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM
CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
I AM ITALIAN
Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a
Camaro.
And I don't know Tony,
Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain
they're very, very hairy people.
I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars
at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced
ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can proudly fly my
country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream,
Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the
best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta,
not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the ONLY
country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of
soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM
ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM PAKISTANI
Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or
a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worship elephants,
or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or
Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very
smelly people.
I eat roti... .not pita. I don't only
shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full
price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag
out of my car during a terrorist siege.
A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild
foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee, not
Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!
Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle-east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!
I AM CHINESE!
Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up
Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice
people.
I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the
sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a
massacre,
Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa
China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and finally........
I AM AMERICAN
Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet,
or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.
I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is
for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!