A Crush
I sit there and watch you from the other side of the room.
People crowd around us.
You are sitting there with a companion.
Who is this person?
Why haven�t you noticed that I am watching you?
Knots fill my stomach.
Pain wraps around my chest.
You smile and laugh,
Then rest your hand on hers.
My mind tries to sort through the confusion.
You never said that you were mine.
But I had hoped you�d at least noticed me.
Maybe you could have been more careful
With the heart that had been so carelessly
Placed in front of you.
What hadn�t I done right?
Why did he choose her over me?
A quiet moment comes over the couple,
They stop and lean in for a kiss.
My body has gone numb.
His lips touch hers.
Damn him! Damn him!
Stupid whore, fucking bastard
Can�t he see me falling apart?
Doesn�t he hear my heart breaking?
What am I suppose to do?
I have to get out of here.
Cautiously I head towards the exit,
Desperately wanting to escape the pain.
I want to disappear....
Instead, I wake up.
Alone
Sitting here I know,
There is no one around.
This room is so dark and cold as I realize
People have left to be with each other.
I am alone.
I do not like this feeling of hollowness.
Only when my mind leaves reality and travels to fantasy,
Can I leave this horrid place.
Where is my knight in shining armor to take me away?
He exists only in my veil of happiness.
Oh, my love...
I am walking down this path,
a canopy of willow trees shading my way.
The sun is trying to peek through the leaves and limbs;
trying to caress me.
Streams of sunlight land on my fingers, my breasts, my toes...
A gentle summer breeze strokes my hair and kisses my face.
Nearby is the hypnotic sound of water trickling over stones and pebbles.
All is creating a passionate storm inside me.
I want to see myself as a part of this majestic beauty.
Yet, tears fall as I realize my eyes were placed in such a perfect position as to not allow me that experience.
My Fear...
Do I really fear your touch?
Think hard before you answer.
Or maybe you should look at the facts.
When your hand touches mine, do I take it away?
When you pet my head, do I duck?
When you put your arm around me, do I shun back?
If you were to kiss me, would I stop you?
If you were to hug me, would I cringe?
If you were to make love to me, would I cry rape?
Suppose it is something else all together.
Have you hurt me before?
Have you said that you cared for me?
Now, am I afraid of your touch?
Maybe not the way you think I am.
It�s possible I�m only terrified you will touch my heart.
Oh, Won�t, Ever, Never
People will like you for who you are.
There is no reason to continue running around.
They are using you for their greed.
So stop offering to make their lives easier.
Notice how they talk to you only when they need.
Watch them carefully when you are not giving.
Listen to them laugh as you walk away.
They are not your true friends.
You ignore the people that care for you.
Assuming they will understand your niceness.
If you look further, you will notice something else.
That your close friends never ask for a favor.
Instead they only seek your company.
Wanting nothing more than to be with you.
They will listen to what you have to tell them.
And come to you with only the typical problem.
Heed this advice before it is too late.
If you keep on this path you will be hurt.
The people that you please will not be there for you.
And if you keep up what you are doing... neither will your friends.
Typical
Why aren�t you like the rest?
Instead you always have to prove me wrong.
When you say you�ll call, you do.
If you suggest to meet, you are there.
Yet I can not trust you.
I am weary of liking you more.
Finding any detail to harp on, I do.
From your dirty sneakers to your odd shaped thumb.
You�re always complementing my appearance.
I doubt your every golden word.
Time with me is something you never have enough of.
Where as I treasure every moment.
We joke about me liking you.
Obviously you know all about my feelings.
Still, you have not made a move otherwise.
This is something I hold on to greatly.
Each day that goes by, I like you less and less.
And each day you are more at ease with me.
I can see a conflict coming into our future.
By the time you finally say you have interest in me...
I will have lost those emotions for you.
Who Am I?
Overweight, obese, fat, heavy,
Ugly, unatrractive, unsightly, grotesque,
Clumsy, awkward, graceless, ungainly
How could anyone like these qualities?
The truth is, they don't.
I am destined to be alone forever.
No one will ever want me.
I shall die a virgin.
Who would actually want to touch me?
An overbite consumes my mouth.
The nose on my face is hideous.
My hair is frizzy and unmanagable.
Years of being made fun of haunt me.
Endless torture and humiliation still hurt.
I can not escape my demons.
Anerexia? It would not solve my weight problem.
Death? My skeleton would still scare people.
Running Away? No matter where I go, I am still me.
"I�ll Call You Later ..."
I hate you and like you at the same time
You hurt me, give me an excuse and I forgive you
It bothers me that you never smile when you see me
Sometimes I think you only call to appease me
I know you only come over to play games
What do I have to do to get your attention?
With you, I have not been myself.
There is no complete obsession over you
I even tell myself to be happy when you are
This is not going to take over my mind
I can not get upset over the lack of a phone call
Your presence should not always be required
Yet, I watch the phone and will it to ring
Alone, I crave you near my person
The clock continues to show the time passing
I put in a movie to clear my thoughts
Fast paced music will make me less depressed
No, writing about it in a poem will solve the problem.
Why?
Why must you be attractive?
Why must you have the perfect hair cut?
Why must your hair be such a lovely shade?
Why must your eyes be a beautiful color?
Why must you have such a sensuous voice?
Why do I crave your touch?
Why I desire your attention?
Why do I enjoy your company?
Why do I miss you when you�re not around?
Why do I like you?
Why can�t we go on a date?
Why can�t we just try it out?
Why can�t we be alone?
Why can�t we be together?
Why can�t �we� be an �us�?
A Paradox
I�m 18, and feel old.
In college but only as a freshman.
My high school years are over.
Suddenly I have to be more mature.
Grow up, they say, act your age!
He is 20, and feels young.
In college but as a sophomore.
His freshman year is over.
After a blizzard, he throws snowballs.
Be young while you can, they say, have fun!
I�m 18 and never really been kissed.
No man has ever put his lips on mine.
This is pathetic for a freshman in college.
Having sex will not make me more mature.
You�ll find someone, they say, he�s out there!
He is 20 and not a virgin.
Many women have spread their legs for him.
Pretty good for a sophomore in college.
Having sex has not made him more mature.
He�s not looking, they say, he�s not like before!
I Shall Not Cry
It engulfs my heart.
The pain is unbearable.
It wraps around my lungs.
I can not take a single breath.
It travels all over my body.
My muscles are too weak to move.
It consumes my mind.
I am so utterly confused.
It wants to take over my eyes.
The tears refuse to submit.
Lust
I want you.
I have never felt that way before.
You should feel special.
My lips crave to be on yours.
Put your mouth on mine.
Teach me how to kiss.
I stare at your hands and wonder,
How they would feel touching my body.
Please, I want to know what it is like.
I catch a glimpse of your stomach.
Mine flips over and I dream of seeing more.
My hands crave to run along it's flatness.
My eyes wander to your crotch.
Would you be mad if I undid the button?
What you say if I unzipped your pants?
Even though I am a virgin, I know this desire.
I want you between my legs.
Pleasure, uncontrollable and ravenous, to be given to me.
 You are Visitor No:
|