Hollywood Squares 'Star Wars style'
Summery: Characters from Star Wars on the television show
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing!
HOST: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Hollywood Squares!
YODA: Jim Cargan, win he will.
The crowd is quiet and looks at the little green guy in the center square.
HOST: Um, excuse me Master Yoda, but no one is supposed to know the winner.
YODA: Oh. (moves his hand from under his tunic and waves at the crowd.) Forget that you will.
The crowd's eyes look glassed over and obviously forget everything. Other jedi are laughing in the background.
HOST: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Hollywood Squares!
The crowd claps.
HOST: And please welcome our panelists "the jedi." And Master Yoda himself as our center square.
The crowd claps for the small master.
HOST: Well lets get the game started. Who won the toss back stage?
'X' Jim Cargan: I did.
HOST: Okay please pick one.
'X': Master Yoda.
HOST: According to the story 'The house of Usher' what happened to the house.
YODA: Read this story I have, crumbles into the lake the house does.
'X': I agree.
HOST: Yes, the house did fall into the lake. X gets a square. Your next Mary.
'O' Mary Rhodes: Obi-Wan Kenobi please.
The camera closes up on the top right-hand square.
The crowd claps. Some women faint.
HOST: Obi-Wan Kenobi, apprentice to Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, in what movie did a mummy come to life, sucking the life out of everyone who opened a sacred box?
OBI-WAN: Well, I have only seen this movie about 2,000 times.
YODA: 2,000 many times that is. Not training your apprentice well Master Qui-Gon?
QUI-GON: (Surprised) I assure you master, the boy is being trained.
OBI-WAN:(Coming to his master's defence) I was being sarcastic master.
YODA: And sarcasm a trait of a jedi it is?
OBI-WAN: No master. . .
DOOKU: Oh hush up you little troll.
HOST: Ok, um the answer please Obi-Wan?
OBI-WAN: Well its. . .
YODA: The dark side in you I feel Dooku.
OBI-WAN: The answer is 'The Mummy."
'O': I agree.
DOOKU: Oh yeah, well you haven't seen anything yet!
Dooku pulls out a lightsaber which is red (the color of the dark side). Yoda pulls out his green one. The other jedi go to Yoda's side. Green and Blue and Purple lightsabers glowing to his one red.
DOOKU: Okay, umm, I'll just sit down.
YODA: Good decision that is.
HOST: Yeah well, that's right the movie is 'The Mummy' O gets a square. You're next Jim.
'X': Okay, I'll go with Mace Windu.
HOST: Mace Windu, who is Yoda's right hand man, and a honorable member of the jedi council.
The camera closes up on Mace who is in the top left hand corner
(A laugh comes from next to him.)
MACE: Is something funny Qui-Gon?
QUI-GON: Honorable? More like unreliable.
MACE: Who is the unreliable one Qui-Gon. If memory serves me right you had a little accident on Bahan 4.
QUI-GON: How do you know about that?
MACE: that kid next to you.
Qui-Gon looks sternly at his apprentice.
QUI-GON: You told Mace?! What are you trying to do Obi-Wan?!
OBI-WAN: But master, he had me in a headlock.
QUI-GON: (turning sharply to Mace) you had my padawan in a headlock?
MACE: Brat!
YODA: be quiet you will!
HOST: And I thought a show with all blondes was bad.
Suddenly Darth Vader sees Dooku and Han fighting.
VADER: (thinking) where did that come from?
Darth Maul turns his lightsaber on R2D2 and C3PO (who are in the same square).
C3PO: Oh my!
HOST: What did I do to deserve this. Well lets go to a commercial and hopefully get going after we break some jedi up. Don't go away.
~*~
~TBC~