Fanfiction Reality
© Sara
Angel really was clueless when it came to computers. He couldn't even figure out a cell phone, not that Cordelia's directions had been all that clear, but still, it was the principle of the matter. 20th century technology might be useful, but it was damn hard to figure out!
So what was he even doing at the computer this gray and dark afternoon?
Trying to find information on Cordoza demons. He and Wesley had killed one the night before, and Wesley had a suspicion more were out there. Of course, after a half hour battle, they'd realized there had to be an easier way to kill the demon. That meant research.
So here he was, alone on a Saturday afternoon, trying to figure out how to even get onto the damn computer. He couldn't ask Wesley, he was out of town looking for ancient books to help decipher the scroll. Cordelia wasn't around either, having disappeared on a shopping spree and errand running adventure.
Though he wasn't sure he'd be able to concentrate if Cordelia was there, leaning over him, touching him as she tried to show him how to work the stupid machine. Lately, he'd been more and more distracted by his beautiful best friend and seer. Especially since he'd gotten his soul back.
He had told Wesley, the man had been with him when TPB gave him the news so he really hadn't had a choice. But he hadn't told Cordelia yet. He knew Wesley was wondering why, but had promised to keep his secret and let Angel break it to her in his own way.
He just hadn't done it yet.
He wasn't sure why. He kept telling himself it was because he wanted to wait for the right time. Right, like there'd ever be a right time to just come out with 'hey Cordelia, I got my soul back several weeks ago, I just wanted you to know.' But he knew he'd have to tell her, and probably face her wrath when she found out that he'd held back telling her for so long.
He just had to find the right time and place, that was it.
Of course, he could tell himself that over and over, but underneath it all, if he was honest, he was just plain scared.
Yes, he, Angel, one time Angelus, the biggest, baddest vampire in the land, was terrified of telling Cordelia he had his soul back on a permanent basis.
The reasons behind his fear were much more complicated however.
If he really admitted it, he was afraid of what they'd both do once they knew they could have a relationship.
A physical, intimate, loving relationship.
He was terrified as hell of loving someone again. Everyone he'd loved… he'd lost. He couldn't bear to love Cordelia, and lose her. Or do something to turn her away, whether he meant to or not. He would always be a vampire, well, at least until the scroll's prophecy was figured out, but still, at heart, he was technically an un-dead, evil creature. People weren't supposed to love him, but fear him, no matter what he did to help them. Most people did fear him. The only ones who accepted him, Angelus and all, were Wesley and Cordelia.
But he wasn't sure Cordelia could continue to accept him if they got involved, if he let himself love her and let her love him, no matter how attracted to him she was.
The attraction part he wasn't worried about. He felt the sparks they generated whenever they were together, even Wesley had commented on it. And watching her flit around in those short skirts, and send that beautiful smile his way every so often… well, he was surprised he hadn't jumped her yet.
God he loved her!
Despite all the reasons he knew they couldn't, they shouldn't be together, he couldn't stop loving her, or wanting to be with her.
It should have been a shocking revelation, but it wasn't. The first thoughts he'd had on learning about his soul, had been about what it meant for him and Cordelia. Buffy hadn't even entered into the equation. He'd left, his head spinning with the possibilities of being able to love Cordelia freely, and act on that love.
When he'd finally remembered Buffy, he was surprised to find he had no desire to go back to her. They'd said what needed to be said. He knew she was getting on with her life, and that included falling in love with Riley… and that was okay with him. Because somehow, in the past year, he'd fallen in love with his brazen, outspoken, too gorgeous for words secretary, seer and best friend.
He'd denied it, knowing a demon like him didn't deserve her love, but it was getting harder and harder to remember that, especially when she seemed determined to prove he could and did deserve to be loved.
By her.
He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead as he pictured her face in his mind.
Then pictured her body, naked and writhing under his, as he took her, hard and fast, pushing them both higher and higher, with no fear of Angelus ever appearing.
God, he had to get his mind off her!
He sighed and looked at the screen, wondering which little icon to click on to get him connected to the Internet. Of course, they didn't have something that spelled out "Internet connection." Oh no, that would be too simple. Instead they put things like a strange looking little "e," a mini computer and something called a "recycle bin."
This wasn't, in his opinion, conducive to the term 'computer friendly,' at least as he defined it.
He sighed and moved the mouse around, debating what to try first. He figured the computer looked like it would access something, so he double clicked, then watched in confusion as a series of files and folders appeared on the screen.
This didn't look like the Internet. It looked like a bunch of unreadable and strangely labeled file folders. He sighed and clicked out of the screen, wondering where to go next. The little "e" didn't look like it would be an Internet connection, so he avoided that, and moved the mouse further down the screen. He didn't realize he'd rested the cursor on the 'start' button, until he saw another menu pop up before him. He smiled, thinking that something here had to give him Internet access, and began clicking away.
A few minutes later, he was sighing in frustration again. Nothing had yielded any on-line information.
Oh well, he had one more folder to click on… might as well get it over with.
He double clicked on the 'documents' tab, and groaned as another list of files appeared. Okay, back to step one. He started to click out of the screen, when he noticed a file labeled "Cordelia Stories."
Cordelia Stories?
What was that?
His curiosity aroused, he clicked on the folder, seeing it open and display a series of icons that looked like little notepads. The were labeled things like "Dark Night-part 1," and "Dark Night-part 2." Feeling a small sense of guilt, he clicked on "Dark Night-part 1," watching as the words appeared on the screen, and he began reading.
"Christina was frustrated as hell. She'd spend the entire day filing papers, answering phone calls, and looking up ridiculous information on the Internet. And why did she do it? Well, it was part of her job number one, and number two, business had been slow lately and she'd been confined to the office by her partner. It was stupid, she'd had one little cold and he'd overreacted, sending her home and making her stay away from work until she felt better.
Of course, he continued to investigate their cases, keeping her updated, but she wanted back in on the action. It figured when she finally felt better and came back to work, there would be no cases to work on."
Angel paused, realizing he must be reading a story of some form that Cordelia had written. It shouldn't surprise him that she'd write something about a detective agency in which she was a full partner, this was obviously her way of expressing her frustrations.
It was too bad he was so determined to keep her frustrated. But he wouldn't risk her life. Oh well, at least it seemed she was putting things down on paper, maybe she wouldn't keep it bottled up, ready to explode if he said something to set her off.
He smiled as he resumed reading, figuring it couldn't hurt to get a bit more insight on how Cordelia thought about things around their office.
"Christina…"
His voice calling out for her as he came through the door sent a shiver down her spine. He could always do that to her with his voice. It didn't matter what he said, just hearing his sexy, low tone was enough to make her wet. An embarrassing little fact she'd done her best to keep hidden from him. After all they were best friends and partners… and relationships like that only worked on TV or in the movies. Well, at least some of them.
She realized she'd gotten off track, and suddenly heard her breath catch as she felt him come up behind her, putting his hands lightly on her shoulders as he read the computer screen over her shoulder. She swallowed hard, willing her body to calm down knowing it was meant only as a friendly gesture. After all, after almost a year of working together, he'd never made one move to acknowledge the simmering attraction that crackled between them. Something that frustrated her to no end… but she hadn't a clue what to do about it."
Angel came back to himself as he read the words, recognizing exactly where they'd come from. She was obviously writing about more than her upset over not being allowed to come slaying with them.
He wondered if he dared go on.
"Christina, what are you working on?"
She tried to smile as Adam's voice brushed over her ear, feeling a shudder run through her body at the contact.
"Not much, just catching up on some overdue filing…" she managed, proud that her voice sounded normal.
"Well, that's good, I don't want you overdoing it…" he started, but she cut him off, feeling her exasperation building already.
"Don't go there, I'm perfectly fine and all recovered, I need to get back to work, so let me okay? I know you're worried, but I can take care of myself," she replied, trying to make her tone even. Obviously it wasn't working.
"I know, don't get testy, I'm just worried about your well being that's all," he said, squeezing her shoulder's lightly as he moved away and headed for his desk across the room.
She finally was able to take a deep breath, hoping her heart rate would slow sometime in the next hour. He could always do that to her, without even trying.
They exchanged polite chit chat, catching up with each other's lives, a typical past time since they had nothing more to do on days like today. Christina smiled slightly to herself, thinking things would be okay now. She'd proven she could handle the attraction that simmered between them, and handle it well.
However, she couldn't deny the looks he kept giving her when he though she wasn't looking didn't turn her on.
Several hours later, they both jumped as the phone on Adam's desk rang. He picked it up and had a short conversation with the person on the other end. Christina listened to his words as she finished typing up a file, feeling a sense of anticipation come over her. This was a case… she could sense it. They were finally going to get back to work. She waited eagerly for Adam to finish the call, rising and moving towards his desk as he ended the conversation and hung up the phone.
"Okay… who was that and what do they want Angelic Investigators to do?" she asked, smiling as she perched on the edge of his desk, making sure the bare leg she was swinging was in his direct line of sight. She smiled to herself as she saw him swallow hard, saying nothing for a few moments. She liked having this effect on him, and at times, it was her only defense against his over protectiveness.
"That was a man who's daughter has been missing for about a week now. He thinks the mob might be involved. The police say they can't find any leads, or do much more, so he's asking us to help," he replied, and she felt her eyes light up at his words.
"So when do we meet him and where do we start?" she began, trailing off as she noticed he was avoiding her gaze. That never boded well.
"What aren't you telling me Adam?" she stressed his name, seeing him shift in his chair. A sure sign he was uncomfortable about something. She had a sinking feeling she knew what.
"Christina… it's just a meeting, I think it'd be better if I went alone, besides, you can do more from here, starting the research and finding out more about her…" he began, only to be cut off by her cool voice.
"You think I can do more from here, safe inside the little office, while you go out and meet the clients and face the bad guys, protecting the little woman," she began, ignoring him as he tried to interrupt her.
"I know I've been sick the past few days, but I'm perfectly fine now, and I think I should go with you, after all, we're partners and we have done cases like this before, or don't you remember?" she said, feeling her temper rise at his next words.
"I know, and it's not that I don't want you to go, I just think someone needs to get the research started, besides, another day of rest will do you good, you still don't have all your color back and…"
She cut him off again, this time unable to contain the fury in her voice.
"You really think I'm that incapable?" she asked, the quiet fury in her voice unmistakable. She told her heart to harden at the look of misery that came over her partner's face. It wasn't going to work, not this time.
"It's not that Christina, you know that, it's just…"
"Just what? I'm a woman and am more fragile? That I'm less able to defend myself? Let me tell you something buster," she was on a roll, pacing the room now as the fury took over. "In a gunfight, or a fight of any kind, the bullet doesn't distinguish between whether it hits a man or a woman, you or me. It's a risk I'm well aware of, but willing to take, I can't believe you're being so pig headed about this!"
She yelled the last words at him, finally collapsing back into her chair in exhaustion. She could see from the look on his face that he was upset, but wasn't going to back down.
"Christina, come on… tomorrow, once we know more, we'll head out together and start looking for leads, but today, please just stay inside and rest…" he tried again, this time stopping at the cool look she shot his way.
"Fine macho boy, you go interview the father, the little woman will stay home and do the secretarial work, but this is far from over," she said in a voice of steel, turning away from him and back to the computer, taking out her frustrations on the keyboard.
She bit her tongue as she heard him stand and shuffle around, obviously getting his coat. She pushed back the tears she felt threatening, knowing she'd never let him see her cry, never let him see how much these type of actions hurt her. She was good at covering up her emotions, she'd been doing it her entire life. Why did she think things would change now?
"Christina, I promise, I'll be back in a few hours, and we'll grab dinner and I'll fill you in on everything, okay…" he said softly, coming to stand next to her, staring at the side of her head, willing her to look at him. She kept her face averted and said nothing
She heard him sigh and turn, heading for the door. She fought the inner voice that wanted to warn him to be careful, to take care of himself, and to come back in one piece to her. She always worried when he went out alone, she needed to be there to keep him safe. But he didn't want her there. And that hurt. More than she was willing to admit. So why should she bother to warn him? He was obviously able to take care of himself.
But what if he wasn't? What if something happened to him? What would she do? She didn't know if she could handle losing him. Despite the fact he seemed to have no fear of danger himself. Just for her.
God she hated it when her heart took over her brain, and the worry seeped in. She couldn't let him go without telling him, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if something happened to him and she hadn't said it.
Maybe when it came down to it, she wasn't such a strong woman after all.
"Be careful," she called after him in a stilted voice, seeing him pause for a moment, then reply as he headed out the door.
"Always."
She didn't let the first tear fall until the door had closed quietly behind him. Then she buried her head in her arms and sobbed."
***************
Angel came back to himself, an enormous sense of guilt flooding over him. Did he really have the power to upset her that much by going off on these soul saving missions by himself? Did she really feel he and Wesley excluded her because they didn't think she could handle things?
Well, maybe that was part of the reason, but it was only because they cared. Because he cared. Because he couldn't bear to think of her getting hurt.
He felt an enormous sense of guilt at the thought of Cordelia crying because of him. Because she was worried for him. Because she thought she wasn't a true part of their team. When in fact, she was their most important member. She told them where to go and what to be aware of. She kept them safe, and alive. And if he lost her, he didn't know what he'd do.
He closed his eyes again, turning back to the story, determined to find out what he could do to make things better.
Several hours later, he found himself much wiser about Cordelia Chase.
And her feelings about her job, the Agency, her career, and him.
He rubbed his eyes as he closed "Dark Night-part 3," and prepared to open part four.
He looked up at the clock, realizing how much time had passed. Cordelia could be back at any time, and it would probably be best if she didn't catch him reading what was obviously her own form of a personal journal.
But he couldn't stop himself from opening part 4. He'd suffered through three parts, happy to see that in the latter stages of the story, she seemed to get happier, because she actually went out on the case. He figured she'd write herself overcoming his fears, it was typical Cordelia. Part of him had to admire her for that.
But aside from all he was learning about Cordelia from her words, he found himself wrapped up in the story of Adam and Christina. Because when you cut to the chase it was a story about the relationship between two best friends and partners. The relationship they didn't have in real life, because he was too scared to take a chance. Too scared of what she'd think, or of what he'd open himself up to.
He found himself unable to wait to see how Adam resolved all his issues. Because it was clear Adam had issues. Cordelia had written it off to a bad childhood and the memories of an ex-girlfriend, but he knew it was simply a cover for his tortured past… and his relationship with Buffy. He was anxious to see how she resolved the conflict that had built to a climax at the end of Chapter 3.
Adam and Christina had gotten into a huge fight because of an outfit she was wearing for a date with a man she'd met through the course of the investigation. Adam didn't like the guy, and with rights. There was something shady about him, Cordelia had written the meaning between every line. And he wasn't too fond of seeing Christina dressed in a short little dress, looking like she was ready to be seduced.
Angel truly knew he was Adam in that moment, since the scene reflected the fight they'd had several weeks ago over her outfit, and a date she was going on. He hadn't liked seeing Cordelia all dressed up for another man, but he hadn't been able to admit that. He'd snapped at her and angered her, and she'd stormed out, determined to make him mad… and jealous. She'd succeeded more than she knew.
He'd been quiet when she returned later that night, and hadn't said a word about the date. Either had she. But inside, he'd been torn apart, wondering if she'd enjoyed it, wondering if the man had tried to kiss her, or tried something more. He had to restrain his fists from crushing the mug he held in his hands as he pretended to read a book. She'd gotten to him more than she knew. But he'd never give her the satisfaction of knowing that.
And part of him had been relieved, knowing if the date had meant something to her, she wouldn't have been able to hide her emotions. He figured he'd gotten off lucky this time, without her knowing how upset he'd been.
Obviously she had been upset herself. Maybe part 4 would explain what happened on that so called date.
He eagerly clicked open the file labeled "Dark Night-part 4," and settled back to read, eagerly anticipating learning what Cordelia had refused to tell him.
"I don't care what you think Adam, I'm going on this date! It's been ages since I've found a man I've actually wanted to go out with, and I can't believe you're going to criticize me about it!"
Christina was trying not to yell the words, but knew they came out in a harsher tone than she'd wanted. But she couldn't help it. All he'd done was harp on her outfit and how suggestive it was. Well damn it, that's how she'd wanted it to be! If Adam wasn't going to act on his feelings for her, then she was going to find someone who would. She was tired of being alone, and while her heart ached for Adam, wanting desperately to be with him, she knew it wouldn't happen. He couldn't over come his baggage. And even though she'd never give up hope, she at least had to start trying to find a life away from him. She couldn't bear the pain of loving him and not being able to be with him.
"I just want you to put something over that dress… God, you look like you're asking for sex, begging for it, and if this guy is any sort of a man, it's going to be the only thing on his mind tonight!"
Adam's words set fire to the embers that had been glowing in her body throughout the whole conversation.
"I look like I'm begging for sex? God Adam, what do you care? I supposed you couldn't care less that I haven't been with anyone since we started working together, and putting up with you daily has left me more than frustrated! So maybe I am looking for a little relief, at least I'm sure to find it with someone who actually admits they want me… admits they want to make love to me!"
She'd screamed the last words at his face, whirling and heading for the door, knowing she'd said too much, was too angry, and she'd better go before she did even more damage to their relationship. She'd almost made it to the door when she felt his hands grab her arms and spin her around to face him, staring down at her with eyes a flame with an emotion she couldn't believe was real.
Pure unadulterated desire. And a hell of a lot of fury.
"You want someone to sleep with you? You simply want casual sex? You want to get laid?" He spit the words at her, his hands still gripping her arms tightly. She felt a spurt of fear, mixed with excitement as she watched her normally unflappable partner lose his cool.
"Well I've got news for you Christina… if you want to get laid so badly, you don't need to go looking to any Tom, Dick or Harry you find on the street. In fact, you don't have to look at all. All you have to do is ask," he finished in a deadly voice. She felt her heart speed into overdrive at the almost insane look in his eyes.
"Oh right, like you're actually going to be man enough to admit to the attraction between us? Come on, it's been almost two years and you can't even mention it to my face. Like I really believe you're capable of acting on it. You've oh so admirably restrained yourself for so long… what makes you think I'd believe you now…"
Her words were cut off as his mouth slammed down on hers and his arms crushed her to his body.
Angel swallowed hard, feeling his body react to the written words. Obviously Cordelia had no qualms about spelling out her desires for him on paper. He closed his eyes as he imagined what she could do to him in real life. He felt his body rise to attention, his cock straining against the fly of his jeans.
He really should stop reading this. Right now. Before he learned too much about Cordelia Chases's fantasies.
But they were of him. And what was that saying about curiosity and the cat?
Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the screen and read on.
Christina couldn't believe the passion he poured into the kiss. His mouth seemed to devour hers, his tongue probing deep into the recesses of her mouth, dueling with hers as they fought for domination of the kiss. His hands were rough on her arms, holding her tightly to his aroused body, so every inch of their flesh pressed together. And being that she had so little material covering most of her flesh, she could feel the hardness of his body even better against her sensitive skin.
She moaned low in her throat as one hand finally moved around to roughly stroke her breast through the thin fabric, bringing the nipple to a tight, hard peak within seconds. She arched herself against him, needing to feel his body even closer to hers.
Her mind was spinning off on a cloud of desire, almost unable to believe this was really happening. But she wasn't going to take it for granted. She'd wanted him for far too long.
With a move that surprised even herself, she managed to free one arm from where both of them had locked around his neck, and within moments, had his shirt unbuttoned and her hands were running across his bare chest.
She smiled ferally as she heard him groan, raking her fingernails across his chest to increase the sensation. She felt him suddenly move… his head dipping
to her breast and taking the nipple into his mouth, sucking hard on it, through the thin material of her dress. She threw her head back and moaned loudly, pulling him tighter to her, moaning in a broken voice that she wanted more.
He complied, and before she knew what was happening, he had the straps of her dress pushed down her arms and the material was suddenly puddled on the floor. She smiled as she heard him catch his breath as she was revealed to him in nothing but a black lace push up bra and panties.
Before she could utter a word, his hands were cupping her breasts, slipping inside, his fingers stroking over bare flesh. She cried out and bit her lip at the incredible sensations she felt flowing through her body. She thought she might have screamed then as he leaned down and took her breast deep into his mouth. The feeling was exquisite! His teeth and tongue were doing things to her flesh she'd only ever read about. Her hands had stopped their exploration for the time being, simply holding onto him, pulling him closer, begging him for more.
But suddenly, it wasn't enough. She wanted him naked.
Keeping his head pressed to her chest, she managed to slip her free hand down to the fly of his jeans, hearing him hiss as she cupped his cock through the material. He was rock hard and straining against her hand. Before he could do more than groan, she had his fly unzipped and he was suddenly free, pulsing in her hand.
"Christina…"
His voice was low and hoarse, his eyes shut in ecstasy as she stroked him slowly. She loved the look on his face, loved knowing she could bring him to this. It was a heady feeling. He could deny his emotions all he wanted, but she could make him lose control.
Her sense of power was suddenly usurped as she felt his fingers slip between her legs, cupping her center and pressing the heel of his hand against her clit. She felt the surge of wetness dampen her panties as his touch inflamed her.
"Someone's a bit anxious, aren't they," Adam managed in a hoarse voice, stunning her into silence as he suddenly thrust two fingers deep inside her body. She screamed and bucked against him, desperate to feel his fingers deeper inside her, stroking her harder. Her hand increased its pace on his cock, feeling him harden even more under her ministrations.
The tension was almost unbearable… and all she knew was that she had to have him inside her, or she'd explode into so many pieces he'd never be able to put her back together.
"Adam… now…" she moaned, feeling him smile against her chest. Before she could catch her breath, she felt him lift her body, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. The move put her center in direct contact with his pulsing flesh, the thin barrier of her soaking wet panties the only barrier between them.
"Christina… are you sure…" he managed his voice ragged, poised at her entrance.
She smiled at him, the desire overwhelming her, part of her rejoicing that he cared enough to ask. It had to prove this wasn't just a grudge fuck. He cared.
She didn't answer in words. She simply reached down, pushed her panties aside, and impaled herself on his cock, crying out as he sunk deep into her body. His own cry mingled with hers, echoing throughout the silent room. Before she could even absorb the wonderful feeling of having him deep inside her, she felt him move, turning them towards the outer office. She gasped as he began moving, each step thrusting him harder against her, burying him deeper inside her.
She clutched him tightly, arching against him, moaning her pleasure as they slowly moved across the room. She gasped again as she felt her backside hit the hard wood of her desk, as he backed her onto it, bending her body backwards over it as far as she could go. She cried out as the move pushed him directly against her g-spot, wringing a scream from deep inside her throat.
The sound seemed to spur him on, and his thrusts sped up, slamming into her over and over again. His mouth returned to hers and their tongues dueled in an imitation of what their lower bodies were doing.
Christina could feel the climax building up inside her with every thrust he made. She felt herself spiraling higher and higher… her cries getting louder and louder.
Suddenly, she crested the wave and screamed as her body went into a free fall. She barely felt him still then shudder against her, his hoarse cry of her name lost in the echo of the room as he filled her with his essence. She felt her muscles clamp down tight around him, milking him for all he was worth, loving the feeling of bliss invading her body… along with the feeling of him buried deep inside her body.
Angel was harder than a rock his body and mind on overload as he absorbed the words his best friend had used to describe their first sexual encounter. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her, naked as the day she was born, stretched out across this very desk. He could picture her long hair falling over the side as he slammed his cock into her over and over again. Could hear her moans and cries as she gave herself completely to him.
He wasn't aware his hand was rubbing his cock as he let the fantasy overtake him. He was too lost in the fantasy of being buried deep inside Cordelia's body… having her totally at his mercy. Imagining taking her, hard and fast, on the desk, right here in this very room. Feeling her clamp down around him as he exploded into her body, desire fueled by her cry of release.
The thoughts were too much for him. Before he knew it, he was coming, hard and fast, his cock still throbbing against the tight fly of his jeans.
Several minutes later, he came back to himself, amazed and embarrassed that simple words could have the power to turn him on this much. Words written by his best friend. His incredibly attractive and uninhibited best friend, who dreamed about him taking her on her desk at work.
He closed his eyes, willing his breathing back to normal, finally letting himself absorb what had just happened.
He'd gotten off on how Cordelia felt about him. And if he was truly honest, how he felt about her.
Yes he was scared to death about loving her, about making love to her. Not because of the physical act itself, but because everyone he seemed to love… he lost.
But maybe one had to take risks. Or else forever live in perpetual hope that someday, somehow, the barriers would crumble and it would all be all right. Maybe loving someone was taking the biggest risk of all.
Maybe he was finally ready to take that risk with Cordelia.
***********
As he pondered those thoughts, he suddenly realized how right his decision felt. He'd been fighting his feelings for her for what seemed like forever. She was obviously in the same boat.
And somehow, some way, despite everything, she loved him. Him. Angel. Liam. A vampire. An un-dead creature of the night.
She loved him enough to put her fantasies down in a journal. Enough to be with him, day after day, hiding those erotic feelings, hiding her love.
Maybe it was finally time to do something about it.
Feeling better than he had in a long time, he moved to close the screen, his eyes suddenly catching the small print at the bottom of the page.
"Feedback is craved! AngelsLover@e...."
Feedback?
What kind of feed back? And why was there an email address on her personal journal?
A strange sense of foreboding filled his body as he quickly clicked back on the previous parts, finding the same message at the bottom of each one.
Maybe this wasn't a personal journal.
Taking a deep breath, Angel closed out of the stories and moved the cursor to the small "e" on the screen. It was the only one he hadn't tried yet. He clicked twice, feeling a small sense of relief as the computer connected him to the Internet.
As the screen popped up, he found himself staring at a box that had "AngelsLover" and a row of stars beneath it. Below that, there was a checkmark in a box that said 'save password.' He knew he was about to enter Cordelia's private email, but couldn't stop himself. He had to know.
As the screen opened, he noticed the mail icon blinking. As he clicked on it, he found himself suddenly staring at a series of messages, all with the word "feedback" in the subject line. He closed his eyes as he fought down his guilt and opened the first one.
Hi Angel's Lover,
I just had to tell you how much I enjoyed the latest story in your "Dark Night" series. The power and passion behind it were incredible.
Angel felt a series of emotions flood over him as he quickly scanned a few other messages, seeing they all contained praise for "Dark Night."
She'd posted her fantasies to the Internet. And obviously, people were reading them. People were enjoying them. People knew all about his and Cordelia's non-existent love life.
Well, at least about Adam and Christina's existing love life. And lord knew he hoped no one reading it recognized them.
He sat there a few moments more, absorbing the fact that she'd actually posted erotic stories on-line. He thought back to the few times he and Wesley had come back from a slaying, and found her immersed in the computer. Now that he thought about it, lately, she'd been looking extremely nervous if they caught her there, and would quickly shut down what she was working on.
No wonder.
It all made sense now.
And surprisingly, he couldn't find any anger in himself. She'd disguised their identities, and chances are, no one reading the stuff would recognize them. After all they didn't have too many friends outside LA.
In fact, he found himself somewhat turned on by the fact that his and Cordelia's alter egos' seemed to be turning on people all over the Internet.
More proof he needed to do something to turn things on himself, here in real life.
But how?
He felt a smile break out across his face as he noticed the 'reply to' button on the top of the screen.
Should he?
She'd surely kill him.
But then again, maybe she would ravish him instead.
It was worth the risk, they'd been denying this too long.
Besides, he didn't think he'd be able to control himself around her now, even if he tried. Not with the memory of those words and the images they'd created burned into his mind.
What did he have to lose?
With a slight feeling of trepidation, he clicked on the reply button and began writing.
Angel's Lover,
You should be more careful about where you store your files on the
computer. Or at least what you title them.
You never know what thoughts might go through some people's heads when
they see a file titled "Cordelia's Stories." You never know who might read
them.
And you never know the effect your words might have on someone reading
them.
You might never know the effect your words had on me.
But I suspect if you look over at the door, you might just get some
answers to those burning questions.
Cordelia's Soon To Be Lover
When he'd finished, he sat back and proof read the message. Short, sweet and
to the point. She couldn't NOT get his meaning. Now the question was, what
would she do with it?
He could still turn back. He could still try to pretend things were the same and that he wasn't picturing her naked, stretched out across the desk, each time he looked at her.
No way.
He pressed the send button.
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An hour later, he was sitting in his chair, in total darkness, waiting for her to come home. He'd been fighting his conscience the whole time, wondering if he had any right to take their relationship to the next level.
Then he remembered her words, her passion, expressed so clearly to him, and he knew he couldn't have done anything else. He suddenly heard her key turn in the lock, and kept extremely still, seeing her enter the outer office and drop the bags she was carrying. He watched her look around quickly, obviously making sure she was alone. He smiled as she went straight to the computer, enjoying the look of anticipation on her face as she waited for it to boot up.
He silently crept closer to the door, keeping her in sight the whole time. He watched as she laughed or smiled as she read her messages, every now and then staring off wistfully into space, as if thinking pleasant thoughts. He now had an idea what those thoughts were and chances are, they weren't "G" rated.
He watched her face suddenly pale, and moved into the doorway as he saw the panic register on her lovely features.
She'd gotten his message. It was time to see this thing through and grab his future.
"I suspect if you look over here, you might just get some answers to those burning questions," he said softly, seeing her go still, take a deep breath, and then turn to meet his gaze.
He felt his body harden as he observed the fear and desire mixed in the glowing pools of her eyes. He slowly moved towards her, feeling the tension in the air build to an almost intolerable level. He finally reached her, breathing in her familiar scent and feeling his body tighten even more. He placed both hands on the edges of her chair, boxing her in. He could see the desire in her eyes, and feel the arousal in her body as he stared down at her, watching her lick her suddenly dry lips.
The move undid him.
He captured her lips with his and proceeded to kiss her exactly as he'd been dreaming about for what seemed like forever. Exactly like she'd written down in her story. He groaned against her lips as he felt her arms tighten around his neck, deepening the kiss. He couldn't stop himself from pulling her from the chair then, desperate to feel her body pressed against his. He continued to devour her mouth as he lifted her, whirling them around and just like her fantasy, pressing her back into the desk, arching her over it, seeing that gorgeous hair flow over the side and nearly touch the floor. Exactly as he'd imagined.
He pulled away just enough to let her catch her breath, admiring the site of her flushed cheeks, rapidly beating pulse and hardened nipples straining against the thin cotton of her tank top. She was truly a beautiful sight. And she was all his.
His soul knew it. He knew it. She knew it.
He smiled down at her as he whispered against her ear.
"Are you ready to become Angel's Lover?" he asked hoarsely, letting all his desire for her shine in his eyes.
He smiled as her answer was to pull him back down to her lips and kiss him hard, pressing her body deeper into his.
For the first time ever, Angel thanked God for his computer ineptness.
Then he set about making all Cordelia's "Dark Night" fantasies a reality.
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The End