Have you ever wondered why I do what I do
The only defense I can give is that I have no respect for myself
The hatred is getting higher with every minute to the second
Shall I start liking me, I have to see the optimistic side
Pessimistic in me is very strong these days
The moon will probably turn green with envy if I learn respect
Which will never happen for I am very a loner
I can't describe the pain in my red beating heart
Agony will never go away if I look at my past like it is today
Fading away into the everlasting darkness, my soul rests
My dreams of what should happen is the unknown to me
For I can never believe anything anymore
Trust is a very big part in what happens in my life
But still not there; I can't trust for I know I will hurt with pain
Hiding in my room is my cave of darkness
Full of my past, present, and future are my true feelings
Ready to explode with a vengeance is a pit hole of sadness
Never to erode for I will never release with a key
Until my future is depended upon, I will always hate myself
-Mar 9'98
