Most men will never truely understand "...the barren womb." When the Lord made us females he put something inside us to always long for children.
When I finally married at the ripe old age of 27, I was madly in-love with my absolute best friend. We were friends then, and we are friends now. Donny and I married in October '99 and by January of that new year, I was ready to begin the process of starting my family. Feburary came, March came, April came and nothing. I was planning on having this kid before Christmas so things needed to start happening and fast! Time was running out--Christmas was just 9 months away. May came, June came and then by July--I knew there were problems. For some reason I was just not having a regular menstrual cycle. I had told my Dr. about this a couple of months back, but she wasn't worried at all. By the end of July I had made an appointment with another Doctor, told him what was happening (or rather NOT happening). He gave me a list of things that could be the reason of why I was not conceiving...so, we started the long process of weeding through this "reasons" one-by-one. First I had a "hystersalpingogram" (HSG) performed to make sure my tubes were open. This very painful proceedure is where they shoot dye through your fallopian tubes to make sure they are open. (That hurt--bad). All turned out fine there. The Dr. sent me home with some fertility pills--but I had to remind him that I was not menstrating as often as I should. Most women have a "monthly" cycle, but mine was a "quarterly." So, with the Clomid fertility pills he gave me some hormone pills "Progesterone" Anyway, I took the hormone pills to make me have a period, then a few days later took the fertility pills to make me ovulate. I realized REALLY, REALLY quick it was not fun to have to circle my "fertile days" on the calendar so my husband would know what to do. After a few months of this, I was laid off of my job and lost my insurance benefits. Fertility pills were expensive, but not near as expensive as having multiples without insurance! I then decided to quit trying....this was now October of '00 so we had been trying unsuccessfully for one full year. For the next few months, I would try anything that someone suggested. Laying in this position, that position, drinking this, taking this herb, etc. etc. By May of 2001, my menstrual cycle was getting worse, so I made an appointment with my regular Dr. for a yearly check up. She was just a tad concerned about the irregular periods...so she ordered some blood work. The thyroid was fine, the estrogen was normal, the progesterone was normal...everything was normal. I felt so abnormal, but everything thus far had been normal. In July of 2001, she (the Dr.) recommended I have an Ultrasound done to make sure my overies were normal and didn't have cysts on them. I did and the test showed them to be NORMAL! This is normally wonderful news to most people, but when you are desperately wanting a child and can't conceive and there is no reasons pointing to why.....it gets so frustrating to hear that everyting is normal. "Normal" you can not fix--"abnormal" you can fix, and I was wanting something to be abnormal so that I can get it fixed. But, as long as things were normal, there was nothing to fix. In November of '01 we were coming up to our 2nd anniversary of being infertile. I knew my depression was getting the best of me, so I decided to do something different, spontaneous, crazy....something to get my mind off being infertile. So, I started taking flying lessons. That CERTAINLY got my mind off of my 2 year struggle. January 2002 we decided to get a puppy. She is a beautiful Shih Tzu named Tara. We got her when she was 6 weeks old. She is a joy~! Finally in August 2002.....2 1/2 years into my battle with infertility, I had one more test done and it was on my "prolactin" level. It had been 8 months since my last menstrual cycle...that test came back abnormal...a high prolactin can cause infertility & irregular cycles. Finally something we can (hopefully) fix and (hopefully) the Lord will smile upon me and allow us to conceive. Update: It is now Oct. '04 and I am still not having a menstrual cycle. Still no baby after almost 5 years, but the Lord has it all in control! JUNE 2, 2005--WE ARE HAVING A BABY!! Jan. 9, 2006 we had a baby girl! Mattison Dawn has taken over our lives!!