TITLE: Christmas Special
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider - A Christmas In July 2006 Review
Cut to Pee Wee who is telling Conky his Christmas list for Santa. Long story short, Pee Wee insists he has been really good and has Conky print up quite a lengthy list. After Conky virtually short circuits, Miss Yvonne shows up to show off her new Christmas outfit which has a mistletoe built in. She gives Pee Wee a fruitcake and proceeds to make her way around the Playhouse.
Pee Wee tries to put the fruitcake in the fridge but the animated food items are busy playing. Pee Wee gets a call on his phone and it happens to be Whoppi Goldberg begging to get on the Xmas special. Pee Wee tells her maybe in a few years she can appear in a special. He proceeds to go play with Magic Screen where he meets up with Magic Johnson. He plays connect the dots and ends up with a magic sleigh which he rides out of Magic Screen into Chairry�s arms
Pee Wee realizes that he hasn�t decorated the Playhouse. Jambi offers up his wish services and immediately decorates the Playhouse. He also guarantees Pee Wee another wish for Xmas later in the show. Reba the mail lady shows up to deliver Pee Wee some Xmas cards and another fruit cake. She also has her coworkers bring in a huge crate with a surprise in it. Turns out the crate was supposed to go to the White House but it ended up at the Playhouse instead. It contains Grace Jones who does a version of The Little Drummer Boy.
Cut to Frankie and Annette who are working on some Xmas cards for Pee Wee. Pee Wee insists they get hundreds of them done and turns around to find Cher next to Conky. She insists on finding out what the secret word is and it ends up being �year�. Cher leaves and the King Of Cartoons arrives and Annette insists on starting the cartoon. When she presses the remote button, Joan Rivers appears instead. Rivers wishes everyone a happy holiday and the cartoon begins.
Cut to Pee Wee who is alerted that it is snowing outside. Pee Wee heads outside to play in the snow and eventually runs across Cowboy Curtis. Together they note they hear the sounds of the Del Rubio Triplets singing Winter Wonderland. Pee Wee and Cowboy Curtis build a snowman which comes alive. Pee Wee soon finds Little Richard trying to ice skate unsuccessfully.
Jump cut to Pee Wee warming up from the cold with some hot chocolate. Cue K.D. Lang who gives us her up beat version of Jingle Bell Rock with the help of Cool Cat�s band. After the number, Pee Wee slams up everyone�s stocking. Clocky informs him its time for a Penny cartoon.
After the cartoon, Countess the cow shows up to give Pee Wee another fruit cake. Also with her is Zsa Zsa Gabor who wishes Pee Wee a Merry Xmas. Pee Wee gets a call from Dinah Shore who starts singing her lengthy version of the 12 Days Of Xmas. During the call, Oprah Winfrey calls to wish him a Merry Xmas. Pee Wee puts in a decoy in the phone booth to get away from Dinah.
Ricardo shows up at the Playhouse to wish Pee Wee a Feliz Navidad. He explains to Pee Wee about Xmas in Mexico which pertains of breaking a pinata. Charo arrives to sing Feliz Navidad while Pee Wee swings away at a pinata. Mrs Renee arrives shortly after to explain to Pee Wee about Hanukkah. Pee Wee plays with a dreidel which goes into the mini dinosaur�s home.
The show wraps up with a big holiday party. During it, Pee Wee explains the true religious meaning of Xmas to Randy. Pee Wee also displays his new room in the Playhouse made exclusively from fruit cakes. Santa shows up and insists that Pee Wee give up all his presents so all the kids in the world can have something on Xmas day. Pee Wee reluctantly agrees and Santa invites him on his sleigh ride around the world. Before he leaves he wishes for peace and seasons greetings for everyone.
1.) The uniformed choir in the beginning look like Marines but really aren�t according to the DVD commentary. I would hope to hell our national security wouldn�t be disrupted for an acid trippy Xmas special.
2.) Miss Yvonne...can someone tell me why she is the piece of ass in town? She kind of hits me as that woman who sits next to you at Bingo puffing Camels.
3.) Obscure celebrity cameo #1; Whoopi Goldberg. Ah yes, Oscar gold was around the corner though.
4.) Obscure celebrity cameo # 2; Magic Johnson, supposedly he is a cousin to the Magic Screen. I imagine thats a bit f*cked up to discover in a family tree.
5.) Jambi...I guess we should have questioned Pee Wee�s motives years ago. He had the power of one wish a day and never asked for any chicks. Nor booze, cash or an extensive home porn library. Home porn is the key word there.
6.) Obscure celebrity cameo #3 and #4; Frankie and Annette. Apparently they are now white slaves for Pee Wee making Xmas cards using...um...potatoes and window screens. There is no going back to the beach now mother f*ckers.
7.) Obscure celebrity cameo #5; Grace Jones. Hands down the oddest Xmas rendition of any song I�ve ever heard.
8.) Obscure celebrity cameo #6; Cher. Apparently the secret word of the day is bigger news than the tattoos on her ass.
9.) Obscure celebrity cameo #7; Joan Rivers. Did she ever not look like a mannequin?
10.) Cowboy Curtis...seeing old Larry Fishburne in that purple get up makes me smile. Take the red pill Pee Wee and I�ll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
11.) Obscure celebrity cameo # 8; Little Richard. Seen with a pillow on his ass, I could make a million jokes about his ass but I won�t bother.
12.) Obscure celebrity cameo #9; KD Lang. After taking into considering Miss Lang�s snow flake dress and frolicking, I would say Grace Jones has been demoted on the scale of odd.
13.) Penny cartoon...that bitch had ADD or something going on.
14.) Obscure celebrity cameo #10; Zsa Zsa Gabor. Slapping a cop apparently was the real highlight of her career.
15.) Obscure celebrity cameo #11; Dinah Shore. I figure that was an easy celebrity land for Pee Wee.
16.) Obscure celebrity cameo #12; Oprah. I have no f*cking clue how Pee Wee landed her.
17.) Obscure celebrity cameo #13; Charo. Go figure number 13 would be horribly unlucky...cuchi, cuchi by the way.
18.) Must we have a Hanukkah lesson? Oh and since when are mini dinosaurs that live in walls Jewish?
19.) Must we have a Christian lesson? Randy mentions the true meaning of Christmas is commercialization...go figure the puppet would be the only smart one in the show.
"HO, HO HOs...and bitches too!
What do we have here, a bunch of has-been celebs hanging out in a house with idiotic decorations everywhere. Sounds like the new season of The Surreal Life to me! HO HO HO!
By the way DarkSider, Spanish Fly is on back order this year so request a new gift..."
