REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
THE PLOT: The show begins with Duke and Flint talking on the Joe base about a problem with the northern lights. This gets interrupted when Lady Jaye flies over them in a jet. She lands and Flint tells her about the lights melting the polar ice caps.
Turns out Flint, Lady Jaye and Snow Job are part of a scientific expedition led by one Dr. Johensen. Shortly after we meet the good doctor, we meet the rather feisty Dr. Entwhistle who is complaining about the Joe's involvement. One of the cranes loading up supplies for the expedition goes haywire and Flint finds out no one is operating it.
The team make it to the cold north and set up camp. Entwhistle still complains about the Joes being there. This is followed up by a Snowcat starting up in the middle of the night. Turns out this one has no operator much like the crane in the beginning. Snow Job takes out the Snowcat with his armed snowmobile.
Meanwhile somewhere, the real Dr. Entwhistle is found in a hotel tied up. She asks that the Joes be contacted immediately. Meanwhile back in snow land, Lady Jaye comes face to face with a polar bear. The polar bear runs away with one of the Joe's supply packages. Flint and Snow Job give chase to the bear and come across a Cobra base. Dr. Entwhistle sneaks up on them and shows her true colors. She is really The Baroness and she alerts Cobra Commander of the Joe's discovery.
Cobra sends out a huge battallion of troops and vehicles to catch Flint and Snow Job. The two Joes fend off their attackers on the snowmobile but find out that Lady Jaye and the scientists have been taken by Cobra. Cobra troops discover the polar bear and shoot it with a stun gun. They decide to bring it back to Cobra Commander. Flint decides to head off alone to see if he can radio the Joe's from Cobra's base. Snow Job heads out to find help and is accosted by a Cobra soldier. The soldier drops his darts which Snow Job falls on after he wards off the soldier.
Flint's plan is foiled when he is taken captive at Cobra's base. Destro explains in full detail about Cobra's plans. They are using an ion attracter to bring down the northern lights. When the polar ice caps melt from the lights, it will flood the world leaving it weak for Cobra's attack. Meanwhile, Snow Job staggers around the frozen wasteland looking for help. He passes out but is found and taken care of by an Eskimo family. Snow Job mutters stuff about Cobra and the ice caps but the Eskimos don't understand.
Cobra Commander sends out Firefly to weaken the Joe's base. He sneaks in and pollutes their fuel with acid. When the Joes try to fuel their planes, they blow up leaving them defenseless. When all seems lost, the Joes are contacted by their Eskimo friends up north. The Eskimos tell them of Cobra's plan which is relayed by a half out Snow Job. Duke and company start to mount an attack and luckily for the Joes, Lady Jaye's jet is unharmed by the contaminated fuel.
Ripcord flies the jet in to the Eskimo's location. He provides some smelling salts for Snow Job who comes to. Snow Job lets him know of Cobra's base location. Meanwhile, Lady Jaye and Flint make an escape attempt to no avail. They are thrown into an arena vs the polar bear. During the gladiator battle, Cobra Commander and company watch on. It is interrupted by the thunder of approaching hovercrafts led by Cutter and Duke.
Flint and Lady Jaye manage to escape the polar bear and head to the ion attracter. All the while, the battle rages out in front of the base with Cobra and the Joes. The two make it and are briefly held up by Destro. However, they take him out and Flint puts the ion attracter on full power. This somehow melts the ice holding the base up sending it to a watery grave. The hovercrafts are unaffected however Cobra Commander, Destro and The Baroness get away via a submarine. With the battle won, the Joes intake the northern lights while the polar bear pays them a more friendly visit falling asleep on one of the hovercrafts.
I will award this to The Polar Bear because PITA can be overrated at times.
LT FALCON MEDAL FOR MILITARY INCOMPETENCE:
This will be handed out to everyone working at the Joe's base when Firefly snuck in using acid. I love the idea that an elite group of terrorist fighters can have one man ruin their air fleet. I also give a nod to Flint for trying to sneak into Cobra's base using the front door. Cobra may be retarded but not that retarded.
GOMER PILE AWARD FOR BAD HUMOR
"I have a policy about ten foot bears Lady...far as I'm concerned they can sleep any place they want..." Duke closing out the episode with a rickety old zinger his great great great grandfather more than likely used.
COBRA SUPPORT GROUP: (a positive approach to Cobra's f*ck ups)
1.) Mistake #1 Cobra always has a knack for putting a giant snake head on it's base giving it away, even if its in a barren frozen wasteland.
Possible Solution: I say disguise it as a Chucky Cheese. No Joe would feel right about bombing it.
2.) Mistake #2 Cobra troops can never seem to hit a f*cking thing no matter how large the battallion. In this case one snowmobile got around a bunch of Cobra tanks and helicopters.
Possible Solution: Get some high tech battle emulators to increase the Cobra troop's accuracy. Either that or stick them in front of Rogue Squadron for an afternoon.
3.) Mistake #3 Cobra built their base on an ice cap which eventually melted thus sinking the base.
Possible Solution: Next time realize that ice is water only a little harder.
DON'T STICK A WET FOR INTO A SOCKET AWARD
No PSAs in this episode
