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I think
I hate you now
I'll hate you
More later,
Maybe I should
Kill myself
Then you can be together

Maybe if I learn to fly
I'll crash
I'll burn
I'll die

I'll run away
From this place
No drama
Automatic
Tears and pity
Maybe I'll fly away
Oh don't you look so pretty

Hate you now
Don't think I wont
Later

I just can't seem to like
I hate this fucking life
Wish I had a knife
No, sorry I don't have a mind

I dont discriminate
I just seem
To hate everyone...
I think I'll shoot myself
In the head
Now doesn't that sound fun?

Peace, love, and Empathy...
Written by: Ellie

Maybe I'm just sick
Maybe I'm just mad
Maybe if I cut myself
It wouldn't be so bad
Maybe if this world,
Wasn't as fucked up as it seems
Maybe I'm just a broken star,
Thats lost all hope for dreams

I guess the world was right
When they said I wouldn't make it far
Maybe I'm just lost
Or just a broken star
Or maybe I burnt out
A million years ago
If only every life
Was what someone could have
Chose

If possibly,
These bloody dreams,
Would not haunt me in my sleep
I'll go sleep in the graveyard.
Peacefully 10 feet deep
Underneath the other broken stars
I'll lay beneath your feet

Peace, love, and Empathy...
-ellie

You teach us not to discriminate
You tell us not to hate,
Then you turn around
And say its evil to be gay

You tell us to be different
You want us to be unique
Then you say,
That we're to strange
And that we should act
Like others our age

You want us to be happy
You always tell us so
But then you turn around
And damage all our hopes

You take away our happiness
Every single dream
You say suicide is bad
But it seems to just suit me
You say thou shall not kill
But then you kill something worse then our lives
You take a knife and stab it through
Every happy time

Then you blame
The pain on us
And say it's all our faults
And we take the stabs
In the back,
We begin on drugs,
Smoking pot,
And spending our money on crack
And then you say it's not your fault,
We were just born bad

Now are you happy?
Do you see what you have done
You ripped the happiness from
Childrens lives
And threw away their fun

Now blame us for
Our bloody wrists
And gun shots to the head,
I'm sure you're very happy now,
Since all of us are dead

Peace, love, and Empathy...
-ellie

I'm crying but I still see it
I'm cutting but I wont start bleeding
I'm dying but I still feel it
Whats wrong with me
Whats wrong with me

I'm screaming
But no one hears it
Either that or they're all ignoring
Every sound that I make
Just seems to break against the world

I guess I'm just one person
Theres no one by my side
I remember all the nights
I sat alone
Drawing razor lines
Screaming out to the voices
That I heard
Only in my mind

I just bled and broke lose
All the pain I had inside
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me?
I'm still not sure

Everyone just seems to hate
Everyone has to discriminate
My only friends have to abandon me
In hope of popularity
What's wrong with me?
Whats wrong with me?

Why can't I get an answer?
Maybe because no one knows
I bet it's because my appearance
The world hates me
Because of my clothes...

I'm crying but I still see it
I'm cutting but I wont start bleeding
I'm dying but I still feel it
What's wrong with me
What's wrong with me

Peace, love, and Empathy...
-ellie

Maybe this is my destiny
Possibly my fate,
Maybe if I'm lucky,
The pain will end today

This world is just one question
It seems all against me
Maybe if I had a friend
Life would be worth living
But since I have no hope
Only damaged dreams
I'm drowning in the darkness
And the silent screams

My world is cold and empty
My mind is covered in black
My soul disappeared the other day
I haven't gotten it back

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

You teach us not to discriminate.
You tell us not to hate,
Then you turn around and say,
It's evil to be gay.

You tell us to be different.
You want us to be unique
Then let us be who we are
Not who you want us to be

You want us to be happy,
You always tell us so.
But then you turn around
And damage all our hopes.

Now tell me are you happy?
Do you see what you have done?
You ripped the happiness from childrens lives,
And threw away their fun

Now blame us for our bloody wrists
And gun shots to the head,
I'm sure you're very happy now,
Since all of us are dead

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

I'm so confused
I want to cry
I slit my wrist
And hope to die

My world is grey
I'm locked in my chains
My empty soul
Destroyed with pain

Forgotten hopes
And lost dreams
Destroyed faith
and broken screams

Nightmares wake me
Every night
I scream
I shout
I commence to fight

Wish you could be here
See me now
Watch me struggle
Let me drown

Let the blood
Soak into my mind
Let me lay down
I wish to die

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

You say that lives not that bad
And that I have no reason to be sad
But can you remember?
What it was like
When you were young,
Just a child.
With no shoulder to cry on
No helping hand
No one to talk to
Every word was a demand

You sit there and you say
All these things to me
You act like you understand
But its just all part of your plan
Because somewhere in it your
Gaining
And complaining about my tears
Because you dont wish to hear it,
You honestly dont care

So please think back
To when you were young
When you were a child.
Do you remember all the pain,
The torture you went through,
All because, to yourself,
You were always true

So you were outcasted
And thrown away onto the side
Then one day you realize,
You seem to have it all,
Then one day your happy
And then the people must make
You fall...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

I'm coming close to death now
Life is coming to an end
And here comes the flash back,
Of the knife cutting into my skin

Theres no way out of it now
If there was, I doubt I'd care
My only goal in life,
Was to get the fuck out of here

And now my dream is happening,
My wish is coming true,
I say farewell,
And bid goodbye
Remember
I still love you.

The blood is streaming in rivers
Down my arm
Onto the floor
I finally realize
I can't be saved
So I cut myself some more
People are coming home now
They see my body fall,
Wake me up tomorrow,
Please dont forget to call.

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

You said I'd never make it
And I always knew that you were right
I'd end up with a husband
That would beat me every night.

You said that I would fail
And I always knew I would
Because no one ever told me,
To be just what I could.
Everything was pressure
The world was torture in my eyes
I try to count,
The sleepless nights
Where I layed awake and cried

You said not to do it
You never meant a word
You never actually relized,
How much your words had hurt
Well, I'm sorry mother,
I can not listen to you now.
Maybe I will listen,
When we meet again in hell.

But until then,
I bid farewell,
And bad luck for you I hope.
Maybe you'll be next
To cut yourself,
And be called a joke.

And with those final words
I draw my final razor line
Across my wrists
Goodbye to you
My mother who was blind,
My mother that never understood
How much pain you put me through
Goodbye my mother,
Farewell to you
I have won,
And you,
It was your turn to lose

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

This is a poem to myself,
To remind me of pain,
To tell me theres a rainbow,
After every rain

To tell me nothing
Can be that bad
So wipe my tears
I have no right to be sad

I should be happy
Like everyone wants
I should just give in
To the countless taunts
I should just surrender
My own precious thoughts
And share everyone elses'
That's what they want

But forget it
Forgive me
That I cannot do
So what if the world hates me
At least I was true

At least I can look back,
Maybe someday laugh,
Or maybe just end it
Right now with a knife
There's nothing I want,
But much I can do.
But for now
All I want
Is to end this life

This is a poem to myself...
To remind me of pain...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

I sat there by my bedside
So many times before
Leading to make things better
I couldnt take much more.
Nothing ever got better
Everything got worse
So I looked at the sky and cursed
Forget it,
You're not real
You're just someone to make
All people do there rights.
To make everyone feel like shit
Because they're different in your eyes

Now people always question
And tell me that I'm wrong
I'm too young, my choices
Don't make sense
I am tortured all the time
Told to go to hell,
Because I believe no longer,
I have my own will

No one seems to get me
Understand my beliefs
No one sees the reason,
Why I changed my mind
I guess I'll just stay lost
Wondering forever
It's ok with me...
For
All the atheists are forced to bleed

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

No body is their own anymore
Everyone's the same,
No body wants to break lose,
From what has them in their chains

No one even notices
To who they cause much pain
The media has broken lose
And dug deep into their brains.

Celebrities
Act like they know
What being different is
What it's like,
Who live on the streets
To get teased
And beat
Just for your beliefs

They do not know.
Because they're all the same
People who share,
Their identities
And are faceless
Without their own name

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

When I was a
Little girl
I wanted to fly away
I remember sitting
On the cold floor
Screaming and trying to pray
I remember the voices
That I always heard
Once when I was
A little girl
Alone and afraid

I remember the pressure
The cold screams in my mind
I remember always losing
What I wanted to find

Please help me
Please save me
Please help me inhale
Let me float around
And forget that I failed
Please let me come down
And have a hangover
I'm sorry
I couldn't make it
I was cutting my wrist
I once had one
But now I can't remember my death wish

When I was a
Little girl
I wanted to fly away
I remember sitting
On the cold floor
Screaming and trying to pray
I remember the voices
That I always heard
Once when I was
A little girl
Alone and afraid

And now I just sit here
Holding the blade
Screaming and wishing that
I wouldn't be saved
But now I'm here again
In the hospital bed
They taped up my wrists
And chained up my fists
Hid all the knives
Lectured me
About my life

Said I was to young
I couldn't understand
I tried to jump out the window
They tied me to my bed
Why can't they see,
That I wish to be dead
Why must they prevent
What I want to be

It's not like they love me,
I know they don't care
Because if they did
I wouldn't be here...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

When you say you love me,
Was it ever what you meant?
Were you actually lying?
Just playing me all along?
I believed you when you said it
I guess I must have been wrong.

You wrote a pretty story
I read it and played it in my head,
How could you say you loved me,
But have loved her instead?

You got me lost
So confused,
Did you love me?
Or was I being used?
Am I just someone
You fall back on,
When the world seems wrong?
Am I just a friend?
That was always there?
Did you really love me?
Did you actually even care?

I'm so unsure
But I just don't care
You love her, not me
I'm well aware...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Tonight I lie awake
Too tired I can't sleep
Think about this world today
Should I take the leap?
Should I just let myself fall?
Into what this world's become?
Maybe I'm just happy
Or
I'm probably just dumb.

If I could just face
The beautiful lies
If I could just let my guard
Down
And let myself just cry

If I could just believe
What it is people say
Maybe if I could
Just not care
I would be ok...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Every time I said I loved you
It has been a lie
Every time I kiss you,
I want to bow down and cry
I wanted to love you,
I thought I did,
But I hate to say,
That whom I love is him

I try to forget him
He is in my past
But everytime I see him,
I wish the time would last
I said yes to you
But my heart belongs to him
I said I loved you,
But my love is all his.

I'm sorry I know,
It hurts for a while
Bow down and cry,
Break through a smile
We can be friends,
But never a thing more
Because whom I love is him,
And of this I am sure.

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Every night I cry myself to sleep
I think of you
And wish you were with me
Every time he hits me
I think of you,
Wish you were here,
To lay with me
And wipe my tears

I wish that you would
Clear my mind,
Help me see the lost
Hopes and dreams,
I didn't think I could find
Help me lead the way
From pain But she's all that you want,
I wish we were more then friends,
But that is not what you wish,
I guess I am confused
Maybe if I could get over life,
Then I could let go of you...

I know that I did wrong,
I said yes to him,
I was thinking of you,
And the pain that I go through

You told me I am a friend,
And that if I died
You'd miss me dearly,
But death is looking nice,
And life is coming so unclearly.

So love me please,
Remember me,
Forget about my pain,
You'll have a happy life,
Once I've gone
And took the rain.

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

The bruises went away,
But the pain remains the same,
The cuts all healed and went,
But the tears they all stained

The scars are slowly fading,
My days are passing by,
The tears are slowly melting,
As I continue to cry.

Cuts along my wrist have healed
The bruises on my neck have shadowed,
Why am I still here?
Nothing even matters

Why am I still thinking,
All about my past,
Why are these images in my mind,
All that I have left?

I don't have my scars to remember,
My bruises remain the same,
If all the marks have passed,
And the pain they caused me,
They don't regret,
Then why can't I
Just settle down,
And my past I do forget?

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

I lay awake,
One heart to break,
No glue to mend,
Some one to hate,
I cry my bloody tears,
And heal my cut wrists,
I sit alone,
Writing a list

What's right from wrong?
Love from Hate?
Good from evil?
Black from White?
Day from Night?

Why is everything I do,
Wrong in your eyes,
What's the thin line between,
Your truth and your lies,
How can you love,
But yet despise,
How can you see,
All of my fears,
Open your eyes and
See my bloody tears...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

A tear for every letter in suicide,
A slit on my wrists for
Everytime I ever cried
A bruise on my heart
For all the feelings that I lost
A laceration for everyday,
That I was kept in the dark.

One love letter,
Written in blood,
A thought in my mind,
That you never understood,
A hope and a dream,
That were all blown away,
A thought and a smile,
All faded today.

A bleeding heart,
Ripped in two,
I could try to mend it,
But I have no glue,
No hope, no fate,
Just a mind full of hate
One tear streams slowly
Down my face.

I never told anyone,
No, not a soul
How much of my blood,
Soaked into the floor,
Not how much I loved you,
How much I cared,
I would have told you myself,
But you weren't ever there...

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Black Glitter {Song}

Chorus-
You are a mistake,
A sinner
You lost it
Black glitter
You killed it
He killed you
I lost it
I found you

He wanted to runaway
She wanted to cut away
All of their mistakes
Burn all the fakes
You locked me in a box
No one knows,
'Cause walls never talk
Shoot me
Use a bullet
That secret
I told it

Let the blood seep through
The hole in your head
Watch all of the sorrows
Hear the words from the dead
Feel it, bleed it, face it, need it

XchorusX

Have a break down
Free it
Taste it
Leave it
Hate everyone
Yell for yourself
You're godless
You're hopeless
You're sick
You're demented
You lost your life
Look how you spent it
You love me you hate me
I feel the same way
I killed you
You came back
I cried and I laughed
You raped her
I take it
You loved her
You faked it
You smiled, you waved
You bled
As your heart greyed
You gave it all away
All away

XchorusX

Yesterday it seems like
This never happened
I never gave up
No I never gave up
This journey is lasting too long
And everything has gone wrong
And you are so cold
And your days are frozen
Love me now,
'Cause you'll hate me later

XchorusX

You're abandoned
And starving
Your arms are filled
With your carvings
You're lost with
Something in the way
Can't feel your pain
Can't feel your pain

I just can't seem to hear your words
It's all coming to me as a blur
Say I'm going to hell
Say I'm going to hell

XchorusX

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Chorus-
I feed on blood
I live on empty souls
Gain my power
From happiness drained From self-inflicted pain

If every wish
Became a dream
With every cut
There came a scream
Let go
Fall asleep
Rape the world
Secrets keep

I will not surrender
Into your understanding
I will not breathe
I can not listen to
Someone who can't
Listen to me

XchorusX

No I'm not depressed
I swear
Keep walking
Don't bother to stare
Out here
Is all that I have
There is nothing up there

Rock music has warped
My mind
With a cat-scan
Cobwebs are all that you'll find

Maybe a spider or two,
Please remember,
Your parents
Regret you

XchorusX

So they got drunk
One night
They made up after a fight
Next thing they know,
Out pops you
They hit themselves
Until they were black and blue

XchorusX

Face it you were a mistake
But now we're a bit off subject
Was there even a subject?
Fuck that
You're just a reject

XchorusX

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Chorus:
Fake the world
My lonely tears
Reproduce for 50 years

Scream the sorrow
Pray for nothing
Say it's alright
You have to kill something

Peace is not war
War is love
Peace is nothing
More than a little one

Love someone
Hate yourself
Hate the world
A lonely death

You think you know me
You say you do
What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with you?

Threaten the youth
Kill the old
Feel the pain,
Destroy the fame

XchorusX

Meet one moment,
Then say 'I do'
Say you love me,
I still hate you

Population is down to zero
You are still yelling
But I can't hear you

XchorusX

Gamble your life
Within a second
Cut you down
From the rope
Untie the noose
Murder your hope

Drain the blood
Wait for the flood
Save the freaks
Kill the stud

XchorusX {X 3}

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-

Dear mother
Dear father
Remember me?
I'm your fucked up daughter
You don't know me
You don't want me
You just can't understand me

You hate me
I failed you
I know the truth
No lies
Wake me up
Drop me when I cry
Disown me when I
Say I hate my life

Chorus:
Nothing's wrong
My life is perfect
Save me from myself
I don't want to be saved
I want to sleep forever
Don't wake me up

Remember me?
Who I am
Every other girl
You'd rather have
Why did you have me?

If you hate me
Why don't you just kill me?
Let me kill myself
I'm a discrace
I'm lonely
I'm all by myself
Put my hopes and dreams
Into a glass jar
And put it on the dusty shelf

XchorusX

I'm not blaming you
Not saying anything
Against you
You had every right
To yell at me every night

It's ok
It's alright
I'll be better someday
Maybe not until
I'm 6 feet under
But, maybe someday

XchorusX {x 2}

Don't Wake me up
Don't Wake me up
Don't Wake me up

Peace, Love, Empathy,
-Ellie
-Heart in chains, a broken star, remember me, I wont make it far-