For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of Love and Devotion. Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.
Roxie
Sometime's I'm right
Sometime's I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Amos
Like I said, even though I shot him, he kept coming at me. So I had to pull the trigger again.
Roxie
He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
Oh but look at that soul
I tell you that whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny sunny honey
Hubby of mine
Amos
And supposed if... just supposed he violated her or something. You know what I mean, violated?
Martin Harrison
l know what you mean.
Amos
Or something. Think how terrible it'd have been. It's good thing I got home from work on time. - I'm telling you that.
Roxie
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Amos
I say I'm telling you that.
Martin Harrison
The name of deceased is Fred Casely.
Amos
Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him. He sold us our furniture. He gave us 10% off.
Roxie
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts!
Amos
You told me he was a burglar
Martin Harrison
You mean he was dead when you got home?
Amos
She had him covered in a sheet and she?s telling me some cock and bull story about this burglar, and how I otta say I did it because I was sure to get off. 'Help me, Amos.' she says, 'lt's my goddamn hour of need.'
Roxie
Now he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
Amos
And I believed that cheap little tramp. So she's two timing me, huh? And I'm through protecting her now, she can swing for all I care... Boy, I'm down at the garage workin my butt off 14 hours a day. And she's up minchin on bon-bons? And trampin around like some goddamn floosy! She thought she could pull the wool over my eyes. Well, I wasn?t born yesterday, I tell ya, there?s some things a man just can?t take and this time she pushed me too far. ?I didn't shoot
him. Boy, what a sap i was
Roxie
Look at him go, Ratting on me!
Why, with just one more brain
what a helf-wit he?d be.
If they string me up
Well Ill know who brought the crime
That scummy, crummy, dummie!
Hubby of mine.
<The last two sections, amos and roxie speak at the same time>