Cel-Da Sux!
...well, I couldn't help myself. A comedy page. I planned it way back when the site was still under development. Anyways, i made this page for serious Zelda gamers to take a bite (and maybe a few slashes) out of the crappy Cel-Da video game. However, the 64DD URA Zelda that was set to launch in 1999 will be anextra in the process and a REMADE version of Zelda OOT. This got me so stoked, but I can only wait. Oh well, look below to the funnies.
Well well well. What do I find here a little stone. For some unforseen reason it will have relevence on my quest so I MUST pick it up.
Stone: Who the hell are you?
Link: God Damn! A talking stone!
Stone: Yeah, and I can do much more than that!
Link: I know, I watch DBZ too.
Stone: No no no! This may shock you, but I can see everything you're doing through this stone!
Link: Crap...
Stone: That is a VERY small...
Link:...don't say it or you will feel my blade run you through.
Stone:...
Link: I thought so. Now, since that conversation had no morale in it I'M DESTINED TO KILL GANON!
Stone: What the hell? He's not even in this game!
Link:...so? I always did it before, why stop here?
Stone: *cough* Zelda 2, Zelda 4, Oracle games... *cough*
Link:...But I will destroy you. (I'll pay you back somehow Mimo)
Stone: Whatever.
Link: Hey, for no apparent reason, let's go see what The Great Deku Tree is doing!
Stone:...you need to stop lighting farts you know.
Link: I know <3
Meanwhile, at the Kokiri Forest...
Great Deku Tree:...ohh shit, Link's back...
Link: Hahaha (pulls out lighter) *FART*
Great Deku Tree: (on fire) AAH! TREE IS ON FIRE, TREE IS ON FIRE!
Link: Shut the hell up you panzi! Last time I killed you you only turned black! Now I'll burn you to the ground!
Great Deku Tree: ~fizzle~
Link:...LOL.
Stone: I hope you're satisfied! Now all I gotta do is sell this info on the black market, and yo black ass (no pun intended) will be out of Nintendo's mascot line!
Link: And Sonic, the Sega mascot, is supposed to be an alternate?...Shut the hell up. And let's move on to the next city, where sought destruction turns to hell breaking loose.
Stone: Those are the longest words I ever heard out of you.
Link: I only met you around 30 lines back.
Stone: Whatever, let's go to Death Mountain.
Link: :)
NEXT TIME ON CEL-DA SUX!
Link, Zelda and Ganon all compete for the prize of all three Triforces and a trip for two to go to Lake Hylia! Next time on...Cel-Da Sux! (famous Jeopardy Music plays) Goodbye folks!
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