A room away, Heero had left the T.V. on all night, its soft sound blending with the noises from outside, creating even more distractions. A game show was playing at the time, with a charismatic host loudly asking the contestants what they thought. The contestants slammed on their response buttons, annoying beeps chirping their way into Heero's room, followed by passionate cheers or boos from the crowd.

The noise wasn't working. Heero was still awake, his eyes open halfway, his mind lethargically racing as it only did at night.

/I sleep at night

On a cloud high on the horizon/

Most nights he could hear the noise and be lulled to sleep, but lately it had stopped being as effective. Instead, it was only aggravating him more until he wasn't sure if he wanted to jump up and slam everything off, or turn it all up so he could be aggravated into not thinking anymore.

Anything to stop thinking.

Heero closed his eyes wearily.

/And when I close my eyes

My soul is struck by lightning

Then I sleep at night
Like a storm/

~ ^^ Heero clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing to lethal slits as he regarded the limp ... CREATURE... in his arms that used to be Duo.... ^^

Time skipped in his dream, pushing Heero's helpless gaze a few moments later in his memories.

^^ He had just pressed the necklace into Duo's hand when there was a push to the air that struck Heero roughly. Heero, surprised, was still staring at Duo when it happened....^^ ~

Heero stirred helplessly in his sleep, trying to wake up.

~ ^^ Duo's dead blue-grey eyes snapped back to the vivid amethyst immediately, his gaze not yet catching Heero's startled but increasingly hopeful and thankful stare. Duo's beautiful eyes shaded first surprise then confusion before he looked into Heero's shining Prussian gaze. Duo's eyes softened, churning dramatically as he looked overjoyed, relieved, hesitant, happy, confused, and so much more all at once.

Before Heero could react beyond hopeful shock, Duo's mouth pulled into a true but amused smile that reached his eyes, causing them to sparkle a deep violet. When he spoke it was his usual voice despite his oldened body, "Oi, Heero... figures...." His amethyst eyes laughed merrily up at Heero, his mouth still smiling, his voice that same beautiful tone he always used when joking.

Suddenly Heero knew it would all be ok. Everything would be fine, if he had Duo.

Just Duo. ^^~

Heero tossed in his sleep, desperately trying to pull himself back but failing miserably. His eyes were squeezed shut, his body tensed, his back arched and hands clawing at the hard mattress. His teeth were gritted, his entire body screaming for relief.

But instead of relief, his mind continued to replay the worst moment of his life.

~ ^^ Just as Heero opened his mouth to say something-ANYTHING!-to Duo, the same vibration from before shot through Heero.

Duo's eyes widened in fear and denial, his body arching and seeming to scream "Oh SHIT!" even though he said nothing. A second later a powerful jolt of white-hot blue lightning ignited at Duo's heart, racing out at the speed of thought as if through neon veins down his legs, across his arms, up his head and wrapping around his face. Duo continued to stare at Heero, never losing focus even as his body arched and his eyes glazed over with intense pain. As Heero watched helplessly, he finally saw the feeling in Duo's eyes, filling the amethyst pain with an ocean of regret and unexpressed care. Unrealized tears shimmered in Duo's eyes the second before a second flash of lighting raced through Duo's body, this time seeming to race underneath his skin. Duo arched even more, his unnaturally light body weight pressing into Heero's legs, his chest, his arms. The lightning turned Duo's very skin a shade of neon and he opened his mouth wide in an eternal, wordless scream. As Heero watched, this all happening too fast for him to react, forks of lightning crackled through Duo's mouth, shooting from tooth to tongue to throat intimately. Duo looked as though he were trying to keep his eyes open but they shut sometime through the second round of lightning. But at the very last second he shot his eyes open again, staring at Heero with an emotion so intense Heero couldn't place it.

Before Heero could do anything, Duo's body fell to ash right in his startled arms, the last thing to go being Duo's solemn stare, wordlessly expressing something Heero never got the chance to understand.

The ash swirled then settled, and suddenly Heero could react. (1)^^~

Heero screamed, "NOOOO!" as he sat upright in bed, his eyes wide and wild as he took in the calm, dark room. The tv was still on, now an infomercial advertising the latest and greatest in skin revival.

Heero sat completely frozen for a moment before he dropped his head into his hands, gripping at his hair hopelessly as he felt the tears burn at his eyes.

How many nights?

How many nights would he have to relive that scene?

Heero rubbed at his face, refusing to shed the tears that would never change the past.

After about 2 minutes of staring into space without realizing it, Heero finally pushed himself wearily out of bed and padded from the room.

The living room was slightly warmer but there was still an unhealthy chill to the air due to Heero's constant need to keep the window open. The tv flashed sheets of unnatural light onto the couch and coffee table, staining everything a strange shade of light blue. Since the tv screen was the only light in the room, as the scenes changed the room strobed faintly with brighter than contrasting darker hues. Heero stared at the screen a moment, leaning fully on his right leg while his left was still to the side, never finishing his step. His hands were loose at his sides, his green tank top threatening to fall off one shoulder. His hair was mussed and worn, falling even messier into his eyes. He was thinner than before, the muscles still existing but now more prominent against the lack of weight. His eyes were darkened by the transition from the pain he'd just experienced to the closing of emotions he was currently trying to perform. Dark circles under his deadening Prussian eyes reflected his mood as the tv screen cast an unearthly glow to his features.

Slowly, Heero turned and trudged to the kitchen, not even knowing what he was looking for or why. All he knew was he wanted to forget.

Forget about that moment one year ago almost to the day when he lost his life to a streak of blue lightning and a lack of action.

An hour later, while Heero stared mindlessly at a long ago cooled cup of some random tea he'd automatically made, there was a sudden knock at his door.

Heero snapped out of his reverie and looked sharply at the door. No one should have known where he lived. Ever since Duo's funeral, Heero had asked the pilots to leave him be. The war had ended shortly afterwards and for the past 4 months Heero had been living in a large city trying to forget. He never said where, hadn't even told the pilots he intended to live on Earth instead of the colonies. As far as anyone knew, Heero could have been dead.

So who...?

Grabbing his gun, Heero turned off the safety as he approached the door. Just as he reached the mini hallway leading to the entrance, someone knocked on the door again. Heero narrowed his eyes, silently padding over, checking his gun as he went.

In the background the tv had turned to a food commercial, and Heero cursed silently to himself for not turning it off. He leaned toward the door and peered through the eyehole.

He frowned with a soft sigh of disappointment and opened the door.

The figure nodded and walked straight to Heero's living room, standing and staring distantly at the tv. Heero glanced down the hallway but no one else was in sight. Trying to ignore the intense hopelessness that threatened to overcome him, Heero closed the door and locked it securely, placing the gun on the counter as he followed his guest.

Suppressing a soft sigh, he asked, "What do you want?"

The figure turned to Heero with such a look of haggard disarray he almost regretted being so removed. Almost. He was too tired to care right then, too bereft of hope and so wearied by constant disappointments he didn't want to care anymore.

The guest turned distant, strange eyes to the tv then back to Heero, "Somnium Recondo," she whispered in a hoarse voice, staring intently into Heero's eyes, "The cure."

(1) Ok I KNOW most of you probably want me to stop quoting when Duo died (Enter Sandman part 2) since, well, Duo died ^_^;;, but it's important to show that Heero can't let it go and that he continues to plague himself over it. Obviously, it's because he cares for Duo, and thus he continues to hate himself for not saving Duo when he had the chance. (Not that he really had any chance but still....) Also, you may or may not notice that this is much more detailed than it was when it actually happened. This is because when it happened, he was too shocked to notice details. But ever since then he's been plagued with them. Are anyone else's nightmares more detailed than reality...?

To be continued....

(I'm kinda evil, aren't I? *Blink* BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! ^_~)

again, sorry its so short. it just ended being that way....