10/5/04
Storm
Well, It has been almost three months. It came out of nowere and turned life up sidedown. The GF got foot of water, mom's trees fell. I went right through the eye of the storm at my dads house. One tree fell away from the house. The eye wall hit us at about 1 am. The yard was picked up and raked by 5pm. The next day we went down the roads and cut our way out of the down trees(we made lots of friends). I had to go out to the rig a few days after because my releif could not be found. When he reported in I came back home. On the way I was hit by a Rider Rental Truck. There goes that company car. Ripped the walls out for the GF, ate SOO many MRE's. Now I am at moms waiting for the contractors to start/finish on the GF place. Trafic sucks and everything closes at 7pm. It is aggravating but at the same time it is amasing how much people go out of their way to help, hell even me.
10/5/04
Faces of Death
What is death? Most thing that it is when a person stops breathing and their heart stops. I say nay. Death comes in may forms that people alow themselves to fall into. A person can have a death of morals or a death of person. When they fall into a pit of dispare because they think that they cant get out. If your still breathing you sould not alow yourself to die. Fight people.. Fight because you should. Fight to be who you are and what you believe. One does not need violence to fight only the sprite of the fighter. Believe in yourself and you shall know true happyness.
How do you know if you Beleive? Well when things get tough if you can look inside and still see that you are a good person who does not bend for want is wrong. Then you are on the right track and should continue.
Now one word of warning. If you follow my advice, remember that there is a very thin line between a strong person and a rock. please dont be the rock.
7/7/04
Ideas of God
For humans, there is no need for a God for a happy fulfilling life. My ideas and proof behind this being:
1. If there is a god and it created humans, then it is infallible and there for would not make a substandard creation. With this said, a goodly god would want its creation to be intelligent constructive and mostly happy. So he made us intelligent with the ability to understand and change our environment, constructive with ability to build and formulate ideas, ideals, and morals for ourselves and our environment, and would wish us to be happy not person to person but as a hole. He would understand if everyone in the human race was happy no further evolution of ideas would occur. So with this said, for god to do a good job (which being a god he would half to) his creation would need to be self-sufficient, or mostly self-sufficient, but never completely happy. This would make them always searching for more information about their world and surroundings (including their god). So humans would have been given the ability to take care of themselves and the god would be happy just to see his creation succeed. He would not be so vane and want worship from his creation but thanks would seem appreciated. (when I wrote this proof it was to prove that we did not need to worship a god, I think I proved that you should not revolve you life around a god but if there is a god he deserves thanks.)
2. If there is no god, we are here because of random chance. If this is true then the morals and values we follow are made just to keep the populations of the world alive and have been working so far. This is also means that humans created the idea of gods because they want to blame things on a higher power. By explaining that everyone has a fate or that god watches over everyone, it makes humans happy and takes away their responsibility. They don�t need to worry about random events or things that could destroy their world.
3. Or that God was actualy created by humans as a whole. That humans have so much power together that a billion humans that believe that there is a god actually created one. This is the most far fetched of the three but religion is the one of the only things that brings so many people together to believe one thing, or close enough to the same thing.
7/4/04
That Perfect Someone
First of all I am not writing this as a show of love for or rant against anyone person(s). This comes out of my head and is being written because I am fed up with all the women I get involved with not measuring up. Anything written here cannot be used against me by an ex or current girlfriend.
First I am a little confused about the idea of love. I have been involved with 10+ women, not sexually, and at lease 9 have fallen into a deep state of love for me. I do not say this out of ego. They truly have all have. And this is not some get over in a week love. My first GF still calls me professing her love for me. Most of my others do the same. I don�t say this to brag, actually I HATE it. Just think of a world where everyone you meet loves you, the catch is you don�t love them but you care for their feelings and you hurt when they do. This has made me reevaluate my definition of love. And I now know that I don�t need to love the woman I will marry but I would enjoy it if I did.
There are only a few people that I would say I have ever loved, my mother(of course), my second brother(not zak), my sister, my first GF, My history partner, Chal, my religious counterpart (I only have one blood brother). The first three are people I love because they have been there for me and even though we don�t always talk we are forever bonded. Of the last four, three have been girl friends. ALL of them have hurt me. One in a fit of desperation/rage tried to kill me, another gave me the world and then took it back, and the other made me understand love does not mean they love you back. The remaining female has to be my closest friend and I could not have it any other way. Except for GF and Chal, I still love and would happily lay my life down for any one of the people stated above.
Now to the real reason for this long ass page. What do I think would be my perfect Someone. Well lets start with the basics, in order
Female = guys just don�t do it for me
The ability to make me happy = that person that knows when to just rub my head because I had a bad day
Smart = able to challenge my brain and not thing I am just finding fault in them
Wise = able to decide what is the right thing to do when it matters
Strong of mind = being able to go through with her decisions, but still able to accept others
Inner child = mischievous and wants to have fun but only comes out about twice a week
Sluty = Only with me and only after the door is shut.(every guy wants his slut)
Survivor = able to take care of herself, but able to let me take care of her
Pretty = I half to look at her, I would much rather be happy at what I see (see next)
Motherly = take care of me because I don�t do a very good job of it
Love = I would like to love and be loved by her
Ability to cook = I don�t mind cooking but I like the idea that a women takes care of me
Decent Memory = Mine is not too good so hopefully she will have a good one
Religiously open minded = only reason this is here is because I lost a GF because I am an atheist
Might do more but it is 3:30 am
Pretty : order that they came to mind
Eyes: deep and penetrating
Hair: any natural color, enjoy long but just found out about the joys of short
Face: long, just a little rounded, normal nose, ears must be cute
Legs: Longer the better, like them strong
Breast: yep did not think about them till now. C,D,DD firm to soft
Arms: nothing hanging, strong a +
Ass: at lease a hand full, no more then a large
Hidden spots: manicured and shaved (got use to no hair in the armpits)
I need to rap this up. Above is my Perfect Someone the best I can do in 2 hours and at 3 am. All of it is correct. I may of forgotten some things but if they were very important I think I would of remembered.
6/21/04
Life sucks then you Die.
Ok why is it that all during collage I was told that I was this genius, then I got out of school and for the last month I have been trying to get a job. And if you can�t tell from the subject line, I have not heard anything good back from any of the hundred businesses I have applied at. Now does that show that school is a huge lie or that the system is just flawed?
Of all my close friends that just graduated, I only know one that has a good job after a month and a half. This shows that something is wrong with the school system. They teach you and take your money and then there are no jobs waiting for you when you get out.
And if you think I have it bad, some of my friends were used by the school system worst then me. After 4 years of hell, they got out and were told that they did not need a degree to work there and that starting pay would be about 6 bucks an hour. Now the people at the university must know that a degree was not needed in that field, but would they tell them anything. Of course not, if they did that they would not make their student quota and lose funding.
Raping up, LIFE SUCKS! Everyone is out to screw you. Trust me on this one.
9/25/02
Well the past week has put me in a cynical mood, all I have been hearing about is hurricane this and hurricane that. Every one wants off from school because of a little rain. It is not even a hurricane anymore and is now headed to New Orleans which means that Laf will be probably only be hit by outer bands of the storm. It is not that bad for anyone in Laf so calm down and go to class.
9/18/02
This has been a very interesting day. I had a rather large important test at 9:00 am for witch I studied many hours for. This is not the rant though. It is after the test that I tried to return to my dorm. Some moron had a exploding project that got the bomb-squad called out. It took till some time after 1pm before they left. So, I could not get back in to my room till after dinner at 6pm. Now what moron, makes a project for a class that for one explodes and two makes said project in his dorm. Ones car would easily be a better choice. So, next time you do something stupid please remember to think about what it does to others.
8/28/02
Ok. well you all want to see me go crazy from all the stupidly that surrounds me every day and you just cant leave me alone. I have given up on humanity and I now think that everyone is just about themselves. I have seen great people turned in to drugies and hoes. Why because they don't want to fit to your damn standers, so you throw them aside call them different. They search their entire lives to find happiness and all they find is people that want to use them or shun them because of their belief systems. Then you wonder why they act the way they do. They get beat down to the point that they just don't care anymore and I know this because I am to that point now. So to all you normal people, Go to Hell and leave me and all the people that think for themselves ALONE.
Last Updated 11/17/05
� Darken Lothar Productions