I Felt Like Crying

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This was written before Season 4 aired, there were rumors of Spike’s return and various speculations about how he would become part of the Scooby Gang.  In this story, there is the idea that Spike was forced back to Sunnydale and into alliance with the Slayer.  Also, for the purposes of this story, there is a house where all of the Gang’s activities are done ~ researching, study, general meetings, etc., etc.

And yes, a character dies and I’ve been told that it’s very heartbreaking so please get the tissues out!

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Spike moved around the house that the Slayer and her entourage called headquarters.  He preferred to call the place "my personal hell".  He hated it, hated being forced into something he didn't want any part of, hated being the Slayer’s lapdog, or even worse - her toy.  Wandering over to the large table they used for research sessions, he wondered what little thing he could do that would really piss her off and make this hell he was living a little more bearable.  The slamming of the front door and a flash of red hair interrupted his devious plans for the torment of the Slayer.

"Willow?" he questioned, moving out into the hallway in time to see the Hacker disappearing up the stairs and the sound of another door being slammed.  Smirking to himself, he took the stairs two at a time – there was nothing like female pain and misery to cheer a fellow up. All right, just because he wasn't meant to inflict pain on the Slayer and her friends didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the pain they had to suffer. He paused outside her door to listen.  Although she had some infernal racket blaring from her stereo, he could clearly hear her sobbing and he licked his lips.  "Well, well, well, this could be interesting."

In all his time with the Slayerettes, enforced or otherwise, he had rarely seen Willow upset.  He had seen her scared, but unlike the Slayer he had never seen Willow moan about her life or shed tears over trivial events - even when she was suffering PMT.  It probably would have surprised the group exactly how much Spike knew about them.  A lot of the knowledge was gained from eavesdropping on their general conversations and from snooping through the individual rooms they kept at the house - he had an excuse, boredom. It was enough for the blond to know the Scooby Gang better than they thought possible, enough for him to know that Willow was the most neglected by her family. 

The Slayer had her mother and Giles, Xander had a drunken family of sorts, but Willow had always been on her own.  Her parents were too busy with their lives to even remember they had a daughter, unless of course they needed to compete with other parents in the "my child is so wonderful" department, then she was the perfect daughter, except for the witchcraft thing, which they happily forgot.  But Willow had taken her abandonment all in her stride, never complaining about it, never sharing the pain she must have felt, she just got on with her life - something that Spike could relate to and almost admired.  Well, that and all her gorgeous red hair.  Spike rapped on the door and it was opened by Willow, her eyes nearly as red as the hair he often found himself studying.

"What?" she demanded of him.  Before he was able to open his mouth the phone rang and Willow glanced over her shoulder to the handset that was in her room.  Turning back to Spike, she grabbed the front of his shirt and twisted it in her hand. "If it's Oz, I'm not here...okay?  Please Spike!"

Spike looked down at the fist entangled in his shirt and sighed, this was disappointing. It was just a stupid fight with her boyfriend - he had been hoping for more.  But still she was begging him - that was a start.

"Fine, pet…as long as you promise to tell me what you’ve got your knickers in a twist about, " he waited until she nodded in agreement and then brushed past her to pick up the phone. "Hello? No mate, she's not here...No, I haven't seen her...Yeah, I'll tell her...Upset?  Really?  Why would that be...Long story...Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her you called."

Spike watched her pace while he spoke with Oz.  He had to admit wolf boy sounded upset; maybe it wasn't as simple as he had thought.  Although looking back on some of the fights he and Dru had maybe the silly git had just forgotten some insignificant anniversary. < Always the way with women, they put too much importance on such trivial things. > he thought, only half listening to Oz.  With a brief goodbye, he hung up the phone and cocked his head at Willow, patting the space beside him on the bed.

"Come along, tell Uncle Spike all about it," he smirked.  The smirk was wiped off his face as Willow flung herself at him, her arms tightening around his neck as she sobbed on his shoulder.

< Shit. > thought Spike.  At a lost as to what to do, he frowned and slowly put his arms around the sobbing girl, rubbing her back gently.  < Okay, this is definitely not my idea of fun. Bloody hysterical women! >

"H...h...how could I be so st...st...stupid?" Willow sobbed against his shoulder.

"Red, one thing is certain – you’re not stupid," Spike rolled his eyes. "What the hell happened to make you think that anyway?"

"O...O...O..."

"Oz," Spike urged, shifting her into a more comfortable position on his lap. He looked down at her trembling form; her neck was so close to him, all that sweet blood.  < Maybe this isn't such a great idea. > "  Come on, love, it can’t be all that bad.  A small fight isn't worth all these tears.  Be mad at him for a few days, wait until he buys you something expensive, and then kiss and make up."

Spike felt Willow move away from his shoulder, bringing her head back to look him in the eye.  Any joviality that Spike had been feeling toward her situation disappeared when he saw the fear and confusion that her green eyes held.

"I interrupted him...'entertaining' a female friend," Willow stressed the word entertaining and Spike raised his scarred eyebrow.

"You mean fucking?" he growled.  Willow nodded, fresh tears welling up in her eyes.  “These things happen, it isn't your fault.  If wolf boy is too stupid to see what he is ruining then he doesn't deserve..."

"Spike," Willow whispered his name, breaking through the 'all men are bastards' speech he was about to launch into.  He could read the fear in her face; it was almost intoxicating to him.  Swallowing, he reminded himself where he was and waited for her to go on.  "I...I went to tell him...that...well...that..."

"Tell him what, Willow?" Spike furrowed his brow, what the hell could this be about?  He had never seen her look this confused or frightened.

"I'm pregnant." Willow stated.

"Willow," they both recognized the sound of the Slayer’s voice from downstairs and Willow untangled herself from Spike, standing up and rubbing furiously at the tears that streaked her face. Without a word she turned her back to the blond and walked out of the room, down to her friend.

Spike remained still, listening to the conversation between the two girls. Oz had called the Slayer and she was listening intently to Willow explaining that she had caught him in bed with another girl.  There were more tears and the general rant from Buffy, but there was no mention of the pregnancy.

***

Willow made her way back up the stairs to her room.  After her conversation with Buffy, she had feigned a headache, not wanting to go back to the dorm, knowing that in all probability Oz would be there.  Falling back against the soft bed, she carelessly threw an arm across her eyes in a vain attempt to shut out the world.

"So what are you going to do?" Spike's voice caused her to jump.

"Do you have to sneak up on people like that?" Willow snapped, regretting that she had told him anything.  She rubbed at her temple, trying to reinforce the idea that she was suffering from a headache.

"Yeah, it makes draining their blood so much easier," he pushed himself away from the door jam and swaggered across to the bed to sit next to her. Grabbing her hand, he pulled it away from her temple.  "I’m not the Slayer, love, won't work with me.  What are you going to do?"

"Why do you care?" Willow looked at him and he shrugged carelessly, not breaking eye contact. It was a good question, one that Spike had been considering all afternoon since she had told him.  For some reason he had formed some pathetic attachment to the little witch, he had put it down to boredom and the fact that she was the only one who seemed to be able to hold a half decent conversation that didn't include clothes or boys.  She was intelligent, quick witted and to a certain degree naïve - no matter what a person had done, she could find some good in them.  In short she was someone that Spike could enjoy a good conversation with, crack a joke and be himself.

"Because you told me," he watched as she threw her arm back over her eyes, her other hand moving to rest on her stomach.  Without thinking Spike moved his hand to cover hers, his thumb tracing soothing patterns below her breasts. He could feel her warmth, her steady heartbeat, and the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

***

Spike watched as Willow moved about the room, talking to Giles concerning some new catastrophe that was threatening Sunnydale.  It had been a week since she had told him and she still remained quiet to the others.  She had slept at the house for most of that time and each morning he had heard her throwing up in the bathroom – of course he simply had to take advantage of it by making it worse by offering to cook French toast or eggs benedict, to which she replied "Bastard" before throwing up again.  But he would unfailingly make her a cup of tea and toast. The thing that amazed Spike was that none of her friends had any knowledge of what as happening, he even doubted that they knew she was staying in the house and even now, as he watched her so carefully, it was obvious that she was exhausted.  Spike’s thoughts were interrupted by Buffy announcing she was going out to patrol and casually asking Willow if she wanted to come, so they could catch up on gossip.

"No," Spike stated, standing up and earning the most withering glare from the Slayer.

"What?" asked Buffy.

"She's not going out with you," Spike declared, matching her glare with his own. "Willow is tired and doesn't need to be dragged all over the bloody countryside just because you want company."

"Spike!" exclaimed Willow, causing him to turn and look at her.

"You aren't going out." he growled at her, fixing her with a look.  "You need to get a decent nights sleep."

Buffy looked from Spike to Willow and Giles did the same, a slow look of horror spreading across his face.

"What is going on here?" Giles asked what Buffy was too frightened to and Willow closed her eyes briefly, silently cursing Spikes sudden urge to nurture her.  "Well, Willow?"

"Please Will, don't tell me you have been stupid enough to get involved with Spike?" demanded Buffy.

"It's not what you think, Buffy," Willow instantly regretted the short statement.  There was nothing like vehemently denying something to make people believe it even more.

"Well then why his sudden concern and intimate knowledge of your need to sleep?" asked Buffy, warily eying off Spike.  Willow glanced about the room, everyone was staring at her, waiting for an explanation and she closed her eyes.  “Why the hell does he even care?”

" I've been staying here for the past week," Willow stated quietly, opening her eyes and glancing around at her friends. Sparing the blond vampire a brief look filled with trepidation, she took a deep breath and turned back to her friends.  "I'm actually going to move in here for the next couple of months...you see I'm pregnant and I don’t think that dorm life..."

She didn’t get any further into her statement as the room exploded into questions, demands and arguments.  Both Buffy and Giles argued that she shouldn’t stay at the house, certainly not by herself, and there were far too many demands as to why she hadn't said anything earlier.  Fixing her resolve face firmly in place, Willow argued why she would be better off in the house compared to the dorms, how she was probably safer there then anywhere else and her admittance that she had been considering her options during the past week and that was why she had waited until now to tell them anything.  Finally Giles and Buffy yielded and reluctantly agreed that if it was what she wanted then they could only offer their support.

During the whole time Spike kept his eyes steadily fixed on Willow.

***

For Willow living in the house was pure bliss.  It was far easier than being in the dorms at college and there was the comfort of Spike.  It was a strange notion, that a vampire was a comfort, but he was in many ways.  He would joke with her, bring her small things, argue with her when she needed to vent and he had this uncanny ability to make their visitors feel the need to leave when Willow became tired of their company, which in Willow’s books was definitely a big bonus.  But living with Spike had its drawbacks as well.  The worse thing was that he made the baby kick ~ without fail.  As soon as he said anything to her or spoke within hearing distance, the baby would kick, making Willow gasp or wince, drawing his attention to it. He would spend hours with his hands on her growing stomach, marveling at the baby, talking to it and scolding it for kicking its Mum.  Yet his hands had a soothing effect on her, whenever he would lay his hands on her, either stroking her expanding stomach or merely brushing against her, she felt that both she and the baby were safe from whatever evil was lurking in the world.

It was that very idea that often made Willow smile to herself or even laugh.  A demon like Spike could make her feel safe whereas her friends generally made her feel frustrated and lonely.  Even though both Buffy and Xander were coming to the birthing classes with her she couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about it all.  Although they were both a great source of amusement in their own way.  Xander would wince at the descriptions of the birth process and he actually passed out during the video of an actual birth.  Then there was Buffy, huffing and puffing away, squeezing Willow’s hand during the classes until she nearly broke it.  Mind you Buffy had taken on a strange role during the pregnancy, she had even had sympathy morning sickness and cravings.  Giles had been supportive in his own way, bringing in foods she craved and anything else Willow had needed. 

But it was still Spike who seemed her tower of strength.  When Xander told her she was getting fat, Spike would come to her later and tell her how beautiful she looked.  When Buffy got snappy at Willow, Spike would draw Buffy's attention away with some smartass comment.  When Giles bought her salted cashews and her ankles swelled up it was Spike who would sit on the end of her bed with her feet in his lap rubbing in various lotions to help.

However it was her growing babies reaction to Spike that amazed Willow. Whenever he was near her, he would cover her stomach with a hand, his thumb caressing the lower part and the baby would become calm.  It was only to their voices that the baby reacted.  Buffy, Xander and Giles had only felt the baby kick when Spike spoke or was near Willow.  There was something reassuring to her about the way he constantly craved to feel the baby and his need to speak to it.  He had even gone and bought a CD of modernized classics - Vivaldi that had been arranged with drums and modern instruments as well as the classical violin.  He had shrugged it off saying that the baby needed to hear some decent music instead of the constant "crap" classics Willow had insisted on playing.  Her argument with him was lost as soon as the music was played through the stereo and the baby settled down, almost like it was in agreement with him.

***

It wasn’t just Willow who had noticed Spike’s growing attention to her and her unborn baby.  Giles had quietly been observing the two together and was at first amused by the vampire’s fussing and protective attitude toward Willow. However as the pregnancy progressed and Spike’s behavior became more obsessive, his constant need to be near Willow, to touch her and his fixation on the growing baby, Giles became concerned.  Since his previous conversations with Spike had proven to be fruitless and frustrating, Giles felt justified in contacting Angel to discuss his growing apprehension.

Angel was quick to agree with Giles that it was a concern for Spike to be so infatuated with both mother and child.  It was during the course of their conversation that arrangements were made for Angel to stay at the house with Willow and Spike, so that he could make his own observations and perhaps intervene if he deemed it necessary.  Of course, a feasible excuse was prepared so that the real reason for the dark haired vampire would not be obvious.  When Giles broke the news of his approaching visit it was met with different reactions. Willow was delighted.  Spike was pissed.

***

"Oh, Angel!  I don't know what to say!" Willow bounced on the balls of her feet, looking in glee at the items Angel was depositing in the hallway. There were numerous pieces of furniture for the nursery and a magnitude of bags full of babies clothes, Angel decided it was a mistake asking Cordelia to pick up one or two outfits for a baby.  But those things were nothing compared to the next item that Angel brought in, it was part of an old fashioned swinging cradle. "Oh...oh, Angel."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she waited until Angel had lowered the cradle before embracing him as best she could.

"Buffy said you were having trouble finding something you like," he smiled down at the heavily pregnant redhead and his face fell as he saw tears staining her face.  "Willow, what is it...don't you like it?"

"Angel…it’s…it’s just so very beautiful," she stood on tiptoe to place a light kiss on his cheek and squeezed his hand.  “Thank you.”

"Yeah, mate, it's bloody gorgeous." Spike snarled as he leant against the stairs, watching.  At the sound of his voice, the baby kicked and Willow winced, her hand caressing her abdomen.

"Willow?" Angel asked, his voice tinged with more than a little concern, and Willow smiled at him. Taking his hand, she placed it where hers had previously been resting and watched as his eyes widened as the baby kicked out against the pressure of his hand.

"She likes to kick me," Willow laughed as the baby continued to move against his hand.

"Red, we've had this discussion before - with that kick it has to be a boy." Spike moved to stand closely behind her, glaring at Angel over her shoulder.  Willow just rolled her eyes and shook her head, mouthing to Angel 'it's a girl'.

"Well, it certainly likes to kick," stated Angel as there was another jolt against his hand and he watched as Spike continued to glower at him.  Willow sighed and shook her head, totally unaware of the friction that was growing between the two vampires.

"I know, I have the bruised kidneys to prove it," she stated, pulling a face. "So what have you got planned for tonight, Angel?"

"I told Buffy I'd met her at the mansion.  Want to come with me?" Angel asked, ignoring the snarl that had formed on Spike’s face.  Willow quickly agreed, she was longing to pick some of the night jasmine that bloomed there.  The plans were met with a heated argument from Spike, he didn’t want her to go. But Angel had declared that she would be perfectly safe with him - earning a "not bloody likely mate" from Spike who promptly invited himself along.

***

"So why the big 'I care' act, Spike?" Angel asked, leaning back against the fireplace.  Spike was doing his best to ignore him, resting an arm against the window and smoking as he watched Willow waddling about the garden picking the jasmine.  He took a long drag on his cigarette, considering the question.  At his silence Angel decided to expand the question.  "You know you’re alienating her from her friends and family? Giles says that you hardly let her out of your sight...that isn't why you were sent here."

Spike snorted, still watching Willow.  He shook his head, things always had to be so black and white for the dark haired vampire, but Spike knew things were never that simple.  Especially not for him when it came to the redhead and her unborn child. 

"Why do I care? I just do.  Out of this hell you’ve forced me into Willow is the only thing keeping my sanity...or would you prefer me to slowly go mad?  That would probably suit you, wouldn't it?"  Spike paused for a moment, taking another drag on his cigarette before quietly continuing. "She needs someone to look after her, to protect her.  And don't give me that rot about her friends being there for her - the Slayer and her Watcher are too wrapped up in their duties and as for that bloody git Xander...well, need I say more?"

"You’re not responsible for her, Spike."

"Willow isn't a responsibility," Spike turned to glare at his sire, anger clearly written on his face. Before he could continue Willow walked in, bunches of the heavily perfumed jasmine clasped in her hands.  She looked from the furious Spike to a pensive Angel and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Did I interrupt something?" she asked, looking at Spike.

"No, pet.  Just a friendly little chat," Spike looked at the jasmine in her hands.  "Did you pick the whole garden?"

Willow laughed.  "Nearly!"

Angel watched the couple.  As soon as Willow was close to Spike, his hand reached out to stroke her stomach and she stepped closer to him, her hand dropping down to cover his and they shared a smile. Together they seemed calm, they seemed whole. Slowly Angel realized that they were in fact the ideal picture of two happy people awaiting the arrival of their child and that's when it hit him – Spike was genuine in his affection for Willow.  It was no act and there was no ulterior motive.

"I'll be damned." Angel muttered to himself, watching as Willow moved away from Spike and started walking toward him.  She never made it.

The whole room lurched and Willow found herself thrown to the floor, her scream mingled with the roar of the building as it collapsed about her.  It seemed to go on for ages, the noise, and she could hear the two vampires call out her name as the ground beneath them continued to shake.  Then everything went as quiet and as still as it was black.  Holding her breath, she waited to see if the quake had passed or if it would continue.  Eventually the drumming in her ears subsided and she could hear the building moaning about them as the rubble settled. 

"Willow," Spike spoke softly, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.  "Are you okay, love?"

"I think so," she spoke quietly, remaining still, safe in the knowledge that he would come to her. "Do you think there’ll be anymore tremors?"

"No, it's over." Angel stated as he glanced about the darkened room, watching as Spike made his way over to the redhead and softly kissed her forehead.  "We have to get out of here."

"No argument from me," Willow grimaced as she stood up with Spike’s help, her body aching from the initial fall. With his arm wrapped about her, Spike guided her through the darkness to Angel.

"Question is, how?" Spike asked, perusing the debris that littered the area they were in.  Huge timber beams were barring their exit, lying against the main entrance of the mansion and it was going to take time to clear it away.  Beside him, Willow turned away and started to pace and he watched her for a moment before turning back to the debris. "I guess we start at the beginning…"

An hour later it seemed to both Angel and Spike that they were getting nowhere.  The beams were littered with debris and weren't moving, even with their combined strength.  The small space they were trapped in was scented with jasmine and sweat, the dust had long settled and the air was getting stale.  But it was soon perfumed with a new scent as Willow doubled over, gasping in pain and distracting the vampires from their attempts to move the debris.  Spike was the first to reach her and could clearly smell the blood that was running down her legs and he froze in horror.

"Willow, what is it," Angel asked as he quickly moved to support her, holding onto her arm.

"I think my waters just broke," she whimpered.  "Oh god, this can't be happening.  She isn't due for another month."

"Willow, calm down, love.  Everything’s going to be fine," Spike spoke softly to her, guiding her away from the pool of blood near her feet. "Come on, now, sit down. Have you had any contractions?"

"A few," she panted, holding onto his arm. "I'm sorry, I should have said something earlier."

"No, no it's fine, Willow," Spike gently pushed back her hair and cupped her clammy face. “How far apart are they?”

"I don't know, probably about fifteen minutes, perhaps longer," she was almost in tears and clung to Spike’s hand.  "Spike, I'm scared."

With those simple words Spike’s world crumpled.  He’d failed her in the most basic of ways, unable to protect, unable to get her out of this hellhole and now…well, he didn’t want to think about it.

"There’s nothing to be scared about, love.  Angel and I are here, we’re going to get you out and soon you’ll be holding your beautiful little baby," Spike murmured before leaning in and kissing her softly on the forehead.  "You have to breathe for me, a couple of nice deep breaths. Okay? I'll be right back."

Standing up, he grabbed Angel’s arm and hauled him as far away from Willow as he could.  Running his fingers through his short hair, he glanced about the catastrophe they were trapped in.

"We have to get out of here - something's wrong," Spike hissed.  Both he and Angel had seen many births during their time on the earth and knew that Willow bleeding wasn't right.

"To get out we have to shift those beams and we can’t, " stated Angel. "Our best bet is to wait.  Buffy is meant to be meeting me here, the car is parked outside, she’ll get help."

"So you’re saying we should sit around while Willow..." Spike growled at him in frustration, he couldn’t finish the sentence.  He didn’t know what would happen if they didn't get out and he certainly didn't want to find out.

"We have no choice, Spike.  All we can do is make her comfortable," Angel said quietly, glancing back at Willow.  A low moan broke from her lips and Spike hurried back to her side.

"Willow?" he took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, but it trembled in his hold and he spanned his free hand across her stomach.  "Contraction?"

“Mmm,” Willow nodded as she squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.  When she opened them she could just make out the shape of Angel kneeling at her feet.

"Well, seems your little girl is impatient to try out her new crib," Angel said as he took off his jacket, trying unsuccessfully to alleviate everyone's fears.  He watched as Willow attempted to smile, but the pain swept through her again and she rolled her head back, biting her lip to keep from crying out. "Okay, Willow. We’re going to try to make you as comfortable as possible."

They fussed and hovered with their limited resources, eventually settling her back against Spike so that he supported her back and she could pillow her head on his shoulder while Angel lifted her hips and slipped his jacket between her and the hard floor.  She had gripped Spike’s hand at the pain caused by the movement and it had only become worse as Angel lifted her hips again to slip off her blood soaked panties.  She was still bleeding, both the vampires were well aware of that, but they could do nothing but hope that the others were outside and trying to get to them out.  Especially Spike.  He was terrified.  There was no mistaking the scent of her fear, nor the erratic pounding of her heart and the smell of blood that was growing stronger.  His hand found the small of her back and he gently massaged it, trying to offer her some sort of comfort and relief.

"She's just like you,” Spike murmured into her ear. “Can never wait."

"I thought that was more your style." Willow laughed nervously before gasping for air and sitting up between Spike’s legs.  "Oh god."

"Remember to breathe," Spike said, holding onto her hand and stroking her hair.  There was already a fine sheen of perspiration covering her and he closed his eyes briefly, it may have shut out the sight of her but it did nothing to stop the stench of her blood.

"I’m going to check how far dilated you are - it may be a little uncomfortable but I’ll be as quick as possible, okay?" Angel asked and Willow nodded. Leaning back against Spike again, she took a deep breath as she felt Angel’s fingers enter her, probing around, causing her to whimper slightly. Removing his fingers, Angel looked down at the bloody mess and silently cursed.  "A little while to go yet, Willow."

"Why does it have to be so dark in here?" Willow wailed, her fingers gripping Spike’s arm as another contraction started.

"It's alright, love. Angel and I can see perfectly well," Spike soothed her as he stroked her hair, thankful that there wasn’t enough light for her to see the blood she was losing. "Come on, Willow, breathe through the pain for me."

It seemed to Spike like an eternity passed before Angel said she was fully dilated.  By that time Willow was nearly exhausted, her tiny body bathed in sweat and as pale as a ghost. The only sound during that time had been her painful cries and moans coupled with the soft words of encouragement spoken by both of the vampires.  Spike could smell the blood, could see the dark pool that Angel was kneeling in, could see his hands covered in it.

"Willow on this next one you have to push," Angel urged her and Spike shifted their position so she was sitting up more, her feet still on Angel's thighs. Willow moaned and shook her head.

"I can't," she said, her eyes falling close.

"Willow," Spike’s voice commanded her. "You are almost there, you have to push."

Willow’s hands bit into his arms as her body was ripped by another contraction.  Sitting her up more, Spike encouraged her to push and could feel her body tremble with the effort.  He closed his eyes against the sight before him as a long and painful scream left her lips.  The contraction came to an end and she slumped back against him, her chest heaving as she tried in vain to regain her breath.

"Good girl, Willow," he whispered softly, his fingers combing through her sweat drenched hair.  "You're doing great."

"Oh god," she moaned, her fingers clawing at him again as she bore down.

"That's it, Willow, nice hard push," Angel urged as she screamed out in agony.  It seemed to go on forever, the cry of pain, before she fell back against Spike, her breath coming in shallow pants and Angel glanced up at her. "You’re doing really well Willow, not much longer."

Spike fixed his eyes on his sire and wondered if he spoke the truth or if they were just empty words of encouragement.  His thoughts were cut short as Willow tensed again.  She was silent in her effort this time and her fingers still clung to his arms, drawing on his strength, but the hold was weakening.  He could hear two hearts beating. Willow’s and the baby, one erratic the other even.

"Come on, Willow," urged Spike quietly. The contraction finished and Willow rolled her head back against Spike, a low agonized moan leaving her and the blond glanced up at Angel.  There was nothing but torment in the blue eyes, a helplessness mixed with frustration and anger and the clear question of what the hell are you doing?  Angel just shook his head.  There was nothing more they could do.  The brief moment was broken by Willow tensing again.  Once again her effort was accompanied by an excruciating scream.

"Good girl. She's crowning, Willow, not much longer," Angel enthused, watching as the exhausted girl slumped back against Spike, her breathing shallow, her hair sopping wet from sweat and her eyes glassy.  "Willow, next contraction I want you to push as hard as you can."

Angel had barely finished his sentence when another contraction ripped through Willow and she did as he said, bearing down hard, her fingernails digging into Spike as his soothing voice rumbled in her ear, encouraging her.  Rolling her head back, she continued to bear down.  A painful wail left her lips and she closed her eyes against the pain and exhaustion, she could feel a darkness begin to envelop her and Angel’s voice seemed so far off.  Suddenly Spike’s voice was reverberating through her.

"Gentle push, Willow.  Almost there, love."

The pain was lessening and the scent of jasmine was overwhelming as Spike’s arms supported her.  Somewhere, in the distance, she could hear Angel speaking.

"Spike?" Willow whispered.

"It's a girl, love, just like you said it would be.  A beautiful little girl," Spike whispered in her ear watching as Angel wrapped the tiny girl up in his shirt and brought her up for Willow to see.  "Look Willow, it's your little girl."

Willow turned her head to look at the tiny baby that Angel held in his arms. She could feel Spike moving her arm in his to make an arch to cradle the baby in.

"My baby..." Willow whispered as the little bundle was placed in her arm, she could barely make her out in the darkness, but she knew she was beautiful and the little thing began to wail.  "Spike..."

Spike leant forward trying to make out what she was saying.  "What is it, Willow?  Love?"

Angel leant down and picked up the baby, his fingers desperately searching for a pulse on the redhead.  "Willow? Willow..."

"No!" Spike howled as he felt her erratic heartbeat become faint.  "No, Willow - don't you dare do this, don’t you dare leave me!  Willow!"

Spike turned her in his arms so that he was cradling her to his chest. "Willow please, please don't leave me!"

The baby in his arms began to scream and Angel stepped away from his grieving childe, watching as Spike cradled her to him, weeping over Willow’s inert form.  Suddenly Spike’s demon came to the fore and he tore at his wrist, holding it to her mouth.  But the blood ran over her pale lips and mingled with the pools of blood that stained the floor.

"It's too late, Spike," whispered Angel, shocked by his childe’s grief. “She's gone.”

"NO!" screamed Spike, his eyes glowing amber in the darkness. His desperate scream turned to quiet sobs as he continued to rock Willows body and above it all, the baby wailed. "No, no, no..."

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