title: and so it goes..
author: teri
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 18:19:06 EDT

Teri was back in her room in moments, her shoes kicked off and her body

nearly swallowed by the cushions of her brilliantly colored bed.
Before her,
between legs half-tucked under her, was her bag, and littering the bed
were
the things she had collected so far.

Her cosmetics bag, a copy of her favorite book, a few pens, keys, her
wallet...
things she had taken for granted at home but whose presence gave her a
small
amount of comfort now.

The leather-bound book of oiled red leather with the musty, bespelled
pages.
She hadn't time to learn all that she could.  What she contemplated now
might
give her more time to do so.

The bandanna she had tucked within the pages, marking the next lesson
to
read.  She looked at the bandanna sadly before moving away.  She was
letting
go of the hope that Shinji would suddenly return.  Whether she saw him
again... she didn't know.  She felt bound by a lassitude holding her
firmly
in place.

As she put these in her bag, she stole a glance at the two remaining
items.
A small, black book and a teddy bear.

The stuffed animal had remained almost unceasingly since Stana had left
it on
the floor of Rashka's hut.  Along with the bible. On more than one
occasion,
Teri had wanted to rid herself of the nagging momentos, conveyed upon
her not
by her own choice. And yet, she hadn't.

Now, instead of bitterness, she felt a chance to rid herself of them
properly- by returning them to their owner.  These, and their giving,
were
the last remnants of the Stana Teri had known- a last gesture of a girl
who
hadn't expected to return.

Sighing, and sinking down on one elbow, Teri wondered if Stana had,
indeed,
returned at all.

She toyed with the bear briefly, smoothing the worn fuzz around the
face, and
wondered how many times the older girl had hugged this stuffed animal.

Sliding it into the bag, followed roughly by the bible, Teri  drew the
draw
string closed and shouldered the bag as she slid off the table.

There was nothing left for her here- not now, anyway.  Estela and
Tadrin
would coo to each other as they prepared to hunt the Chosen of Wind-
mere
moments in the Water Elements' combined presence racked Teri's head
with a
dull, throbbing ache.

Shinji was gone. She had come to grips with that fact, and strangely,
could
muster no anger at him for it.  Inside, there was a tender place still
smarting from his words-  her anger couldn't cover the ache she felt,
nor the
blow to her pride.

And S'kae was at war.  A concept she knew nothing about, save the
romanticized stories her father had told her about Vietnam.  The
silence was
heavy in the air, and in the halls, the grey-taupe tension was a
physical
force she cut with her presence, only to feel it sliding back in around
her.
She didn't want the stress on her already worn nerves.

Which meant she was leaving with Stana. Tonight.  North-East, back
through
Hicho to a country she hadn't heard of until today.  With a girl whose
only
hello was a stony glance, and only words were laden with the pall of
death.

Her consolations, the things that kept her moving, were threefold; in
Hicho
she might get herself another Jiy: the longing she felt when her
thoughts
turned to the gently curving globe, the almost sentient purr as it
hovered
over her shoulder, was sweet and insistent.  A small part of her wished
to
dull the emotions she still felt blazing in the bodies around her.

Secondly, she would be travelling with the new stranger.  What she had
felt
from him was calming, assuring, and familiar.  She felt lightly pulled
to him
with a curiosity to know... whatever it seemed he knew.  The wonder in
his
eyes had been almost totally concealed- but no less entrancing.

And thirdly, she had made a promise to make a final effort for her
one-time
friend.  Over much of her own personal feelings of betrayal towards
Stana,
Teri  was increasingly concerned with the gloom hanging over the older
girl.
Where were the jokes, the caustic remarks, the impulsiveness she had
known in
the Aethyr, and back home?

It was with mixed feelings that Teri opened the door and, with only a
cursory
look at the room behind her, left to meet the rescue party.