title: an aftermath of sorts
author: teri
Date: Tue, 21 Dec 1999 11:35:44 -0800

***

Teri was stumbling up the stairs, being hauled by a furious earth
Chosen when she noticed the tingling. Her head felt foggy and
heavy, and she swallowed the thick lump in her throat. But her
arm- the wrist Stana's fingers were digging into hard enough
to bruise,  had that tingling uneasy painSÿ  like hitting your
funny bone, almost. Yet stronger, darkerSÿ

She felt nauseous all of a sudden.

The bright lights of her candle-lit room seemed to pierce the
backs of her eyes-  she would not relish travelling the next
day.  Teri groaned at the thought. She needed some water, bread,
and a niceSÿ bedSÿ

She was moving to lay down when Stana jerked her wrist.  With
a cry, Teri was pulled around to face the older girl, and made
to keep standing. She reeled. There were too many Stana's in
her room, she noticed.

"StanaSÿ let me lay down. I just want to lay down," she mumbled,
imagining she could sense the bed behind her, Îarm's' outstretched
and inviting her to sleep.

"What did you think you were doing?" Stana snapped.  Teri saw
three pairs of angry eyes, and felt her own draw tighter.

"I was having some fun," she replied, trying to pull her wrist
away. Stana flung Teri's arm away with a jerk.

Teri reeled suddenly with a dark nausea as Stana's touch left
her-  sinking, she felt sinking, almostSÿ and her skin began to
crawl.  She could see it, she thought, staring numbly at her
arm. Her arm was darker, tanned by shadows.  The light must be
failing, she thought as her mind wandered.

"Fun?" Stana nearly shouted, bringing Teri's swimming attention
back to the problem at hand: the one that wouldn't let her sleep.
"You call sending out that trashy power to the whole common room,
nearly making out with that viper, FUN?"

Teri frowned, trying to rememberSÿ  She had almost kissed the
elementalist- why? The thought seemed odd to her now. She was
grateful, in a sense, that Stana had pulled her away in time.
It could have been embarrassingSÿ She pushed through the fog that
would, in the morning, have enveloped much of the evening's memories.
Audion had asked her to dance, yes..  There had been something
strange in his touch. Something that had tugged at her, called
to her. An echo, almostSÿ the air around him had tasted slightly
like herself, like ShinjiSÿ

ShinjiSÿ she thought, and her eyes began to sting. This wasn't
right, she was all over the place! That ale had stuffed her emotions
into a bingo wheel and were popping them out, randomly, all through
the nightSÿ

Fun.. stana had been sayingSÿ she was losing concentration. Fun?
No, not funSÿ she had wanted to have fun, it had started out as
funSÿ but she wasn't having fun now. This always seemed to happen
to her.. a promising night turned sour.

"I don't know what happened, StanaSÿ I don't know what's going
on.." Her skin was crawling. What had stana done to her arm?
She was staring at her wrist as she finished, "It was all fine,
StanaSÿ And then I was overwhelmed.. it wasn't MY emotions, Stana.."

Stana was gasping for breath, her back pressed against the door
for support.  It was difficult to breathe in this room-  Teri
was filling the air with her emotions, switching so quickly,
so violently that Stana felt her body shuddering in response.
 Worry choked her as the girl talked, staring at her arm.   Stana
had been bathed in Teri's remembrance of Audion's dance only
moments before, had felt her body stirring in a way that made
her feel violated. The spike of sorrow that had flashed across
the Fire Chosen's face, the anger that she be denied her sleep-
all these things, magnified and wild.

"Don't talk to ME about losing control, Stana," Teri sneered,
grabbing the edge of the bed for support. "What's a few kisses
compared to a tree sticking through you?" A wall of anger slammed
into Stana, and her own tolerance snapping, she pushed against
it with her will, earning a little bit of space.  Stana squeezed
her eyes shut at the memory of the banquet night, and the horrors
she had unwittingly caused.

"TeriSÿ you need to stop thisSÿ" she said tightly, opening her
eyes and looking directly at the girl whose body was beginning
to surround with crackling energy.

Teri looked at Stana pushing away from the door frame. She looked
as firm as stone, and as adamant. Teri knew she was right- she
did need to stopSÿ She felt herself calming as she thought of
sleepSÿ sleep was what she wanted right now. And if she dreamed
of Fire and of Earth, so be itSÿ

"I'mSÿ sorry," she mumbled. "I just want to sleepSÿ"

Stana just watched her from the doorway. Teri winced from the
bright glow of relief that surrounded the other woman.  By that
alone could Teri tell that she had stopped filling the air. Her
skin crawled.

Teri wobbled to the washbasin and splashed water on her face.
 She'd leave the rest for the morningSÿ The sheets felt wonderful
against her skin.

"Stay away from him," Stana said warningly.  "He's not what you
think."

Teri nodded, her eyes shut against a sudden thought that threatened
to overspill. Before she could stop her words, they came. "StanaSÿ
I miss you. I miss ShinjiSÿ what's happening to us?" Her eyes
still closed, she waited for a response. None came but the soft
click of the door as it closed.  And, wrapping her sudden sorrow
around her, Teri was asleep in moments.