From: "chaeval" <chaeval@noln.com>
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 1999 10:44:33 -0500
Subject:[FARPG] And so it goes...

"Stana. I miss you. I miss Shinji. what's happening to us?"

As she was closing the door, the muffeld words came to her ears. Stana
hesitated for a moment, then pulled the knob and turned it gently shut.  It
obscured her own response.

"I don't know, Teri."

The door didnt answer. She was sure that the other girl had sunken into
whatever stupor drunks went into. God knows she had seen enough of them. A
tired rage stirred, but she hadnt the energy to fuel it. Teri's own power,
Audions' they seemed to have reduced her to a drawn state where there was
nothing left.

"Is she asleep?" Clip asked tentatively from the hallway. Stana was suprised
to find him still there. Then again, she really wasn't.

"Probably. She was far enough gone to be by now." She kept her voice firm,
as well as her gaze, when all she wanted to do was run back to her room and
lock herself in it again. Although that hadnt deterred Clip in the least.
No...she didnt want to be alone, not if it meant those voices again...

"I'm going nuts right?" she asked.

The Unicorn looked suprised, flickering into true from, but changing quickly
back in the confined corridor.  He was sure that all mortals were a little
mad-but that was nto what she was after. She wanted an assurance he could
not give.

"That legend you told me...about the pendant...it wasnt a story..."

"I thought it was." he finally admitted. "I didn't believe such a thing,
made of the earth, and placed with Unicorns, could taint. But you are not
immortal-and therein lies the difference."

"Corruptable flesh. Born in sin." she paused in frustration "I dont buy that
anymore. We're not inherently evil! We're finite, yes, but there has to be
something left, even if its not conscious. But the infinite can be just as
callous, and cruel and-" her anger ran out and she hung her head. "I'm
scared. I look in the mirror-and there's someone that I dont know sneering
back at me. I say things-and I dont know where the words come from, or the
tone.  And-"

"And?" he prodded, feeling his own heart pounding.

"And there's no feeling. Its like Im dead. Maybe I am-and this is what
happens after we die. God-did we all die? Paul and Teri-and -are we all
dead?"

"I think not-" he replied, unsure " I think rest might help."

"No rest won't help." she answered "There are clutching dead things in
sleep. Why all this death? If I'm alive-why am I surrounded by dead ?"

She was getting hysterical, he could hear the panic in her voice, yet her
face was still foreign and stony. It was a look that caused a flutter of
chill in him. It was a look he couldn't describe as whole.  He reached for
her arm, stililng the distaste the contact brought. He led her down the hall
and into the room, his head pounding angrily from teh mead he had taken.

"I can't answer any of your questions." he said quietly "I dont have the
words or the knowledge. I am still young for my kind. And yet-I would not
think that my Princess would put you into such a danger..."

"If you can't explain it-" her voice was col with anger "then don't try to
excuse it. There's something really wrong-and I can't control it. Dammit
Clip-Teri;s right-I killed those people and she nearly created an orgy in
the downstairs! There's something wrong with all of us."

"Chaos..."

The breath stopped in her throat as Clip murmurred those words, she turned,
voice high and slow.

"What...did you just say?"

"The Chaos Bringer...the nachtmer child stated that he was loosening.  It is
in Chaos' very nature to disrupt all the other elements. If the pendant
itself is not tainted-then Chaos would be able to do so, temporarily...as
for Teri-she was not in her right mind..."

She hadnt heard the last. Ramdek, the Nachtmer child. The Chaos bringer, she
could still hear his joyful exclamation of welcome in her ears.

::evil-sinful-predisposed to darkness::

"No. I dont believe that." she repeated. "Clip, I'm so confused. I want to
do one thing, and something else happens. Whatever the reason-pendant,
Chaos, sin, whatever-its out of control."

"You've been geting worse..." The Unicorn admitted, not garnering any pride
from the stricken look the words brought to her face. "It appears that when
there is a greater distance between us-you're more susceptible. Yet I am not
sure. The-your moods fluctuate so wildly..."

"I don't even remember half the time-" she said miserably "Teri must hate
me..."

"I think the girl is confused only. Distance may be best."

"Don;t leave me tonight." she said. "I don't care, Ill sleep on teh floor-ir
in teh stables if I have to-don't let me be alone tonight, please!"

The responsibility was heavy and unwelcome. But in it squirming was a
feeling of accountability. Was it not he that had gotten her into this
situation to begin with? He was sure not-but now he wasnt so convinced. And
he had promised-them both.

"I'll be here." he said "and for now, wherever else you may need me."