Title Voices
> Author Stana
> date 12/13/99
>
>
>
> Stana watched Audion rush out of the door, her hand
> still absently rubbing her burning arm. Her eyes
> followed the mans rush until he was out of sight, then
> her gaze wandered around the dark, cruel kitchen.  The
> stuffy, warm heat battered an already confused mix of
> emotions and she fantasized for a moment that she
> could hear the dirt sucking up the tincture she had
> just prepared, and that now was liberally splashed on
> the ground amidst the shattered remains of the earthen
> mug.
>
> With a sigh, Stana bent to gather up the shards of
> clay, collecting the splinters with a intense
> studiousness that blotted out the need to think. She
> was afraid that if thought started, hysteria would
> notbe far behind.
>
> Hensbane: Toxic in large amounts, coma inducing, and
> almost always fatal if not immediately treated.
>
> Her brow was a pucker in concentration, the motion of
> pick, picking overriding any other fancies that were
> trying to break through the learned oblivion she was
> placing herself in. Doubts and fears were crowding
> past her defenses, seeping slowly through the walls of
> calculated consciouslessness. The fingers to the
> ground began to tremble.
>
> With a short cry she jerked her hand back, pain
> slicing through her index finger. Without thinking,
> she popped the finger in her mouth, the tang of blood
> mixing with the muted scent of the herbal concoction.
> After a moment, she removed teh damaged digit and
> observed the cut bleeding itself liberally.  The tiny
> red rivulets raced down her palm, obscuring the scars
> on her palm with a garish miasma of tracks.
>
> The image was too much. Control shattered against the
> overwhelming barrage of feelings. She raced from the
> hearth and up the stairs. Down the corridor and the
> door slammed behind as she leaned against it, sides
> heaving with the choking sobs she could still not
> release. When had she last cried? Not recently.  Not
> since Skae? Not even then.
>
> The attack on her and Clip-when Lyr R'Kelnin had taken
> them in hand in the forest. She had watched the 6th
> army cut down men right and left, trying to get to
> her. She had sobbed quietly into the Unicorn's mane as
> he carried her away.
>
> There had been no tears.
>
> Crying, but no tears.
>
> Her body was now shuddering the attempt to hold itself
> together. She felt her mind roiling against itself,
> looking for a hold. In that need her eyes lit on the
> pile of clothes on the bed. Clip's spare change. And
> he was downstairs now.
>
> In frenetic energy she grabbed the bundle and slipped
> down the stairs, trying to focus on the warmth in her
> arms, or the ticking of her feet on the wood, on
> anything of no consequence. She delivered her burden
> and hesitated, wanting to announce her dilemma, spill
> the burden, but not knowing how, or what, she merely
> retreated back up to her room with no release.
>
> The door clicking shut behind her had a final sound to
> it. Stana dropped to her knees with a miserable groan,
> hands feeling tentatively at her dry eyes, tracing the
> outline of her face, teh eyebrows and the strong
> jawline, the stubbornly set mouth. A hard face,
> granite and cold. Stones gargoyles couldnt weep with
> water-their tears were dry as well. Maybe all that was
> left was rock.
>
> It hurt. Empty. There was a void screaming for
> fulfillment, and finding none. Her arm was still
> burning with its fierce chill. There were two sides of
> her, one fiery chill, the other lukewarm.
>
> ::We are all two seeking to be one.:: She heard a
> voice saying solemnly. Who's voice?
>
> "Stop it." she whispered. "Please stop."
>
> ::He's here!:: cried another voice joyfully ::the
> chaos bringer!::
>
> "Stop it." she repeated. God, was she going mad? Why
> these voices?
>
> ::If you go:: repeated the same voice ::then you'll
> leave me alone again. Stay with me!::
>
> Ramdek? But-she hadn't been dreaming of him
> recently-she'd been drugging her sleep so she didn't
> dream of-
>
> ::If you go-::
>
> "Clip." Stana murmurred "Help me."