Chapter Twelve

Joey grinned as JC ran his hands through his hair.

"What did that mean?" JC asked, stretching, smothering a yawn.

"What do you want it to mean?" Joey asked.

JC groaned. Joey was avoiding the question. "I mean, was it just a one-night stand, or will we have sex again and make this a fling, or," his voice dropped, "is this something more serious?"

Joey rolled over so he was looking into JC’s eyes. "I want this to be something more serious."

"But... but you’re not gay."

Joey arched an eyebrow. JC flushed, remembering what had just happened in that very bed. "Okay, so you’re bi at least."

"Yeah. I’ve always been more interested in guys than in girls, but that didn’t stop me from dating chicks. So, what do you want this to be?"

JC reached out with one hand and traced Joey’s eyebrows, then his nose, then his lips. "I want this to be serious."

~~~

Justin pulled away from him and stood up. "Fuck, Lance, stop talking about it."

"I can’t Justin. Because you won’t face up to it."

"I am facing up to it," Justin screamed. "I’m the one who has to live his life has a fucking recluse because he was such an asshole that he didn’t realize what the fuck he was doing wrong."

"That’s where you’re wrong," Lance said, grabbing Justin’s arm. "So you made a mistake. Who gives a fuck? You don’t have to do this to yourself. You’re the one who made yourself a recluse. You didn’t trust your friends and family enough not to reject you that you rejected them."

"I needed time to myself, Lance. I needed to figure out things and grow accustomed to my face and my voice now. But you wouldn’t have given me that chance."

Lance’s eyes flashed with fire. "We wouldn’t have give you that chance? No, you have it all wrong. You’re the one who’s not giving yourself the chance. You wear a mask so you don’t have to see your face, avoid talking as much as you can, which is pretty fucking easy now that you live in the middle of nowhere, and avoid everything that has to do with the outside world."

"I’m just fucking trying to adjust without too much shock."

"Bullshit Justin." Lance leaned closer to him, so they were nearly touching. Although Lance was shorter, Justin felt a brief flash of fear run down his spine as Lance stared into his eyes. "You’re a fucking coward and this is your way of dealing with that realization."

Justin opened his mouth to contradict his words, but nothing came out. Staring at Lance, Justin felt- for the first time since the accident- tears rise in his eyes.

He turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen, and to the front door, letting the wooden doors slam close behind him as he ran out of the house.

Lance smiled.

~~~

JC groaned when his cell phone rang. "H’lo?" he mumbled, answering it, not bothering to check the caller ID

"JC. How’s New York?" Lance asked.

"It’s fine, why?"

"No reason. I tired calling you the other day, but no one picked up at your house, or at Joey’s, and I found out from Chris that you and Joey went to New York."

"Yeah, we’re visiting Brianna and Kelly. Have you had any luck?"

Lance chewed on his lip, wondering if he should tell JC or not. "No, not yet. I think I have a lead, but so far, I haven’t found a trace of him."

"If you do find him, call me, okay? I want to know how he’s doing."

"Will do." The guilt was already setting on his shoulders as Lance said good-bye to JC and hung up. But he didn’t them interfering with anything right now; Justin was having a hard enough time as it was. Although, him coming into Lance’s room the night before was a promising sign.

~~~

Justin winced at the bright sunlight. It had been over a month since he’d seen sunlight, or walked outside, or breathed in the smell of nature. And, he realized with a pang, he actually missed it.

He hadn’t thought about it in the past month, with everything else on his mind. But now, outside in the fresh air, a world apart from Orlando, or even all of the cities he’d stayed in, he realized just how badly he missed it.

Justin sat down under a tree, drawing his knees to his chest, Lance’s words festering in his mind. Was he being a coward?

Admit it, Timberlake, you are, he thought. And he was. He had tucked his tail between his legs and run away. Away from everything. His friends, his family, the woman he was supposed to love, and the man he did love.

"I am not a coward," Justin said aloud. "I am not."

But his hands faltered when he reached up to remove the mask, and fell back to his lap.

A single tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and traced a path over his scars under the mask that hid him from the world.

Chapter Thirteen