Thoughts can kill you.
    I thought I would be this great crusader for the depressed and
weak. I do the best I can these days in this wheelchair. The place I ended up
after the repercussions of my great thought.
    I thought I could survive alone forever after my divorce. I mean, a
woman had dragged me through the mud. I had no other recourse but to
become celibate. I’m not a monk but I am not a cad. I did not want to
go through it all again.
    I thought I could handle her. I had all the cards. I could play the
romance thing until I knew who she was. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t have
liked to get to know her more, but I had an agenda. I would appeal to
her desire to find the others and she would help me. Boy am I an idiot.
Trying to manipulate Max into doing something she didn’t want to.
Idiot.

Thoughts can kill you.
    Now I am stuck in this wheelchair with thoughts in my head that I
can’t get out. I can’t have what I want. God, this perpetual hard on is
annoying. I let her go. It was the right thing to do. I always do the right
thing. She saved my life. She came back to me and yet still…
    She came toward me and kissed me. She wanted me to come with her. I
want her. I want her so much. She wants me too…
This is going to kill me.
    Why not? Why can’t we be together?
    Thoughts like that may get us both killed.
    At least I know she isn’t going to leave. She won’t leave here
because of me. I like that. I shouldn’t, but I do. Zach loves her. Yet
she chose me. But she backed off. The fantasy is the only escape:
    She and I are here. We both want the same thing. We begin to kiss.
She straddles my wheelchair as I roll both of us to the bedroom. The
tangle of clothes and limbs are quickly resolved. We hold each other,
naked, wanting. We make love to each other. Her flexibility and stamina
are amazing. Her body moving my body in ways I didn’t know I could.  We
come together. She says she will stay with me always.
Fantasies can kill you too.
    “Hi Max.”