"Logan?"
Max called weakly, staggering into his apartment. Logan wheeled himself out
of his "office". He did a double take. "You look
terrible." She glared at him. "Oh thanks." "Good, if you
can still be sarcastic it cant be too bad." Max had walked over
to the couch and sat down, holding her head. "She couldnt get any
more Triptophane. The doctor she gets in from got fired. Budget cuts. Uhn."
Max started to shake violently.
>Crouched
in the luggage car of a south-bound train. She was hungry but not scared or
tired. How could she, they didnt know there was such a word: fatigue,
tired, lonely.<
"Max?
How long since the seizures started?" He moved her into a lying
position, afraid she might black out and fall. "b-bout six hours
a-g-ag-ago." She manged to stammer. "Some milk would help, s
go-t-t triptophane in it." He went and got it. Logan had to hold
the glass for her.
>Cold,
bitter unrelentingcoldcantmovezacksaidhidebutheleftus/me didnt come back
..< What
was intact of Maxs reason told her he wouldve come if he could, but all she
heard were memories of cold/pain/desertion/good little soldier /no
emotion just pain. She gasped, and slid into merciful darkness.
"Max?
Max!" Logan shook her. "Dont go into a coma on me Max, cmon"
She slowly jerked her head up, and grasped his hand on her face.
"Dont leave me." She whispered fiercely. Logan nodded, and she
esconced to her pain once more.
>"Nobodys
here Max. No one will hurt you." Martha, her foster mother, who soothed
her nightmares and died on her, sniper-shot, followed by flashing bus
changes and running, running. Always running, "You will keep
moving in enemy territory" he barked, and all the world was enemy
territory<
"Kendra,
I need you to call 446-80924-8320, ask for 'Jason' tell them its 'Greg'
ordering for 'Valentines Day'. Max keeps blacking out, I cant leave
her." Logan hissed through his private line. "Is she gonna be
okay? With the neuro-thing? Shouldnt you call a doctor?" asked the
worried voice at the other end. Logan had been wrestling with that question.
The answer was NO of course, but not for the reasons Kendra believed.
"With her arrest record, they could still be looking for her." He
prayed Herbal hadnt told them hed deleted Maxs file. The only thing worse
than paramedics in his apartment carrying Max off was Lydecker tracking the
call and getting there before the paramedics. Logan was sure, now that
Lydecker knew of Maxs seizures from the bastard warden, he was drying up the
Triptophane, knowing eventually shed either have to score some or die
trying. Literally. "Okay, Logan." He hung up and looked at Max.
Still pale, shaking and sweating on the couch. He began to dab her face with
a damp cloth, and her head started to jerk again. Logan grasped her head so
she wouldnt hurt herself, and leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Its
going to be okay, I promise."
>She
felt Logan grasp her head, Zack did that when she shook so hard she fell out
of bed. "Dont make anymore noise." Jess, another girl, held Max
straight by her pinching her spine in inspection one day Aaron exaggerated
the guards faces to distract her from the pain Max herself holding Jack, an
eight-year-old who was worse off than she.. dragged off when he dropped in
drills one day<
"Logan,
we got it! Triptophane will be there in about 8 hours. Shipping it from
Houston." "Thanks, Jeff." Hed spent the last day holding Maxs
head, rocking her, trying to get some milk or broth down her throat every
two hours. Even she couldnt take much more of this. "Please, dont let
that be too late." Logan pleaded, to himself, Max, and any sympathetic
diety that happened to be listening. "Youve helped me so much Max, not
just saving my life or killing my enemies, I need a reason to get up in the
goddamn morning, to try to walk, and I think and hope you know that."
>She
heard a murmuring sound, a voice. Not Hannahs, not the drill sargent, Logans.
What was he saying? Words could hurt, she learned that as a toddler, her
earliest memory- getting slapped on the hand for reaching for another child.
"Dont be weak, No. 32, that disgraces you, you must be a strong
soldier. The others do not reach." The watcher spat the last words.
Number Thirty-two had only realized her hand felt no-good and so did her
chest. The girl who would come to be known as Max didnt know what a heart
was.<
"I
started Eyes Only to reach people and give hope, but you give me hope, that
maybe youll come to trust me and even love me. I love you." Dont go
there, she might remember, the alarms in Logan's indifferent sense rang, but
he didnt care.
>No.
12 had found the naming-book. In the dead of night, she roused everyone,
telling them they needed names,should they be separated in the field . No.
32 was terrified. Diefy the sargent? "Im Lillian, hes going to be a
Zachariah, and youre a Maxine. Its a tough name." No. 32/ Max bent her
head in shame. She had worked tirelessly after her weakness was spotted as a
young. The seizures had shaken her, just like 36/Kathryn and 17/Zachariah.
Shortened to Zach, since friviolity was a crime worthy of death. They stuck
together, but it would be a long time before she learned what friend
meant<
Max
smiled in her delirium. "What are you seeing, Bast? I wish you would
tell me." Logan tried to keep his voice calm and soothing, but the
Triptophane had better get here soon
>Erin
found the razor. Dropped in the bathroom by a careless officer who shaved
one day. The bathrooms were not gender-specific. Zach and Lil had sawed
through the electrical wires. They werent quite through when Max had seizure
during inspection. "Im making an example outa this one." A guard
pulled a gun. But they got out, somehow. Split up, Zach signed. No. Ill find
you
someday, now go!<
Logan
swabbed her arm, the injected the triptophane into Max. They couldnt wait
for it to dissolve in her stomach. "Max, please be okay." She
didnt move for several minutes. He laid his head on her chest and began to
cry, something he hadnt done since his parents died. "Logan? What the
hell?" He
looked
up into her deep brown eyes, and kissed her still, crying. Only now that his
love was alive.
