Chapter 5: We Need To Talk
Logan
stared at Max unsure of what to do when she began to sob uncontrollably. She was
talking to someone but he couldn't make out exactly what she was saying, but he
knew that she was upset.
"Logan
no." the plea escaped her lips loud enough for Logan to understand it.
What?
She's dreaming about me?
"Max,
I'm right here."he soothed with his hand still entwined with hers.
"Logan,
don't leave me, please. Logan no!" Max cried through her sobs. Hearing Max
so desperate tore Logan apart.
"Max,
I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here love, I won't leave you." Logan
picked her up gently, being careful of her already healing would, so he could
hold her in his arms, hoping she would know it was him.
"Shhhh,
shhh. You're safe here Max. Shhh." Logan repeated as he rocked her back and
forth like she was a small child. "Shhh."
It
had been 2 long heart-wrenching days since Max had taken the bullet for Logan.
And Logan had held true to his promise never leaving her side. Until now Max had
remained unresponsive. The only way Logan knew she was still alive was seeing
her chest slowly rise and fall. So when her began to fight and cry Logan was
undeniably relieved by the signs of life, but he was also alarmed.
What's
going on in that head of hers?
Logan
gently stroked Max's silken locks as he hummed the lullaby his mother used to
sing him when he had bad dreams. Soon Max began to calm down as her sobs became
tears and her tears soon began to dry as she drifted into a peaceful sleep once
more, followed by Logan not long after.
****************************************************************************
Max
began to stir the next morning not long after sunrise. Logan had become
sensitized to her every move over the past few nights, so her movement had woke
him immediately. Exhausted from the emotional stress Logan waited to see if she
was waking or simply rolling over in her sleep before he moved.
"Logan?"
At he sound of her voice Logan sat up to see her eyes flutter open. It took a
second for her eyes to adjusted to the unwelcome light, but she then focused on
Logan with a soft sad look in her eyes. He couldn't keep the smile off his face
when he saw the deep chocolate eyes he thought he may never see again.
No,
this has to be a dream. It's just another dream. Logan is dead. You stood there
and watched as Brin pulled the trigger. He died in your arms.
"Hey
there sleepy head." Logan said lightly.
"Hi.
I wish you were real Logan. I miss you so much."Max's voice was filled with
the same sadness that was in her eyes.
"Max,
what are you talking about?"
There
they are. Those eyes. Even now when he's dead they are still worried about me.
They were worried when he was brought in, when he was dying when he died, and
when he's dead.
"You're
dead Logan, you're gone forever."a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I'm
right here Max. Alive n' kicking...so to speak." he quipped. A slight smile
touched her lips, but faded as quickly as it appeared. "What?"
"You're
real? You're alive?"Max's hand reached up and lightly touched
his
unshaven face. Finding the proof she needed Max threw herself into Logan's arms
as tears of joy ran down her face.
"Oh
my God, Logan! Ow! Damn. What happened?" she asked flinching at the pain in
her side when she moved to look, but she never broke contact with Logan's warm
badly.
"You
were shot, by a bullet meant for me." Logan looked down as he played with
her hair, still feeling guilty. "I thought I lost you."he whispered
meekly. Max's eyes filled with tears again as she held on to Logan's arm around
waist with all she had.
"I
did lose you." she said letting out a shaky breath. "I really tired
Logan." Max murmured into his chest when she rolled onto her unharmed side.
"Just
go back to sleep. You need your rest. I'll be right here when you wake up."
Logan kissed the top of Max's head, as he softly rubbed her back until she
drifted into sleep.
****************************************************************************
I
don't know where we stand anymore.
You've
got one foot in my life,
the
other's out the door.
And
I can't believe this is happening to me.
Okay
Cale, just tell her. It will be easier now, you already told her once...she just
couldn't hear you. But, you need to tell her you love her. Everyone knows it but
her. And like Bling said, she'll never know unless you tell her. I do love her,
more than anything. I'd die for her, but will she believe me? You have to trust
her not to run.
Deep
inside I've wanted to believe,
that
somehow, maybe someday,
there'd
be someone there for me.
And
I hope, I haven't lost my chance.
Max
stood in Logan's shower thinking about her dream, grateful it was only a dream.
Okay,
so I love Logan. I think I always have, but it took me losing him to see that.
What would I do without him? There's one question I never want answered. Could
Logan really love me ? He said he did, in my dream. But that was a dream. I have
to tell Logan I love him, or he'll never know.
I
can't live without him.
I
can't live without her.
They
thought simultaneously.
I
don't want to wake up to the reality,
of
you not being here with me.
There's
so many possibilities,
that
we've let slip away.
And
if your heart could speak what would it say?
I've
got to mean something to her. Why else would she throw herself in front of a
bullet for me? or be so upset when she thought I was dead? I know I mean
something to her, but what? That dream scared the hell out of her, I can see
that. I know she scared, that's why she runs.
You're
scared
You're
scared
You're
scared
You're
scared
You're
scared, to say you love me.
I
don't know if I can do this. It could be disastrous. What if he doesn't love me?
I couldn't bear to hear the I love you like a sister speech that I always give
to Zack when he gets out of line. What if he does? I could be putting him in
more danger than he realizes, than I realize.
I'm
scared
I'm
scared
I'm
scared
I'm
scared.
Is
she going to run again? Trust her Logan. I don't think I could take her running
out on me again. She know she's safe her, at some level.
Will
you want to stay?
You
don't have to run away
I
wish I could believe in what I feel.
I've
been fooled so many times before,
I
don't know what is real.
Maybe
I'm just fooling myself.
I
love Logan, I really do. But could he really love me, a freak, a science
experiment? I'm so confused. Do I listen to my head or to my heart?
I've
been running out of reasons to let go.
Max
is my one and only.
Don't
let go.
Logan
is the only one who really knows who I am.
I've
tried opening up my feelings,
but
your door is always closed.
And
I find myself dreaming my life away.
I've
tried so many times to tell her, but she sees it coming and pulls her 'gotta
blaze' line and is out the door before I know what hit me. But she's so cute
when she pretends to have no idea what's coming.
I
don't want to wake up to the reality,
of
you not being here with me.
There's
so many possibilities,
that
we've let slip away.
And
if your heart could speak, what would it say?
Max
you have to do something. A life without Logan isn't a life worth living. I know
that now.
Logan
you have to do something. A life without Max isn't a life worth living. I know
that now more than ever.
You're
scared
You're
scared
You're
scared
I'm
scared
You're
scared, to say you love me.
I
know she's scared, who can blame her. Hell, I'm scared.
I'm
scared
I'm
scared
You're
scared
I'm
scared.
Time
to face your fears girl. He could be just as scared as you are.
Max
climbed out of the shower and began to dress. Taking a deep breath Max silently
walked out of the bathroom and into the hall.
Will
you want to stay?
Or
will you run away?
Walking
down the hall she paused to watch Logan sitting in the kitchen apparently
thinking some deep thoughts. Sensing her presence, Logan turned around to see
Max watching him.
"It's
good to see you on your feet again."he smiled "How are you
feeling?"
You're
scared
You're
scared
You're
scared
I'm
scared
You're
scared, to say you love me.
"Better.
Sore, but better. I guess it helps to be genetically engineered to heal
quickly."she said with her normal sarcastic tone and a smile.
I'm
scared
I'm
scared
You're
scared
I'm
scared.
Their
eyes connected for what would have been a few seconds if Max had anything to do
with it, but neither could manage to tear their eyes away.
"Good."was
all Logan could manage to get out.
How
could I lie to those eyes? How could I not tell him that I love him? Those eyes
keep me my sane, they keep me human.
You
don't have to worry, my love.
I'm
running out of reasons to say no.
"Logan,
we need to talk."
"Max,
we need to talk." They both said in perfect time with each other.
I
don't want to wake up to the reality,
of
you not being here with me.
There's
so many possibilities,
that
we've let slip away......
The
song is 'I'm Scared' hence the title and it's by Hoku. It's a duet and I have
the guys part with Logan and Hoku's with Max.
