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Chapter One: Decisions made.

It wasn�t his fault that she was here. He had done nothing that Max hadn�t asked him too. In fact, Logan had been absolutely perfect to her. Then why was she sitting on this bus as it moves further and further away from him. It was for the best, she kept repeating to herself. She knew what she had to do and that involved getting away from Seattle, she had to get away from everyone she loved. That was the only way she could guarantee that everyone would be safe. The other night had been too close, Lydecker knew too much about her. If she hadn�t left now, he would have found her and she was not going to allow that, not now.

So now she sits on the bus, heading to Canada. She had left a note for Kendra and Cindy to give to Logan. She made them promise to look after him. She told them that she would call when she got to where she was going and let them know she was all right. Both of them had a hard time understanding her reasons for going, but both knew that her reasons must have been pretty good to do something this extreme, especially considering her situation.

Max closed her eyes and remembered the moment when had first met her. His look of relief when he found out that she was just a thief. She remembered his look of concern when she first came to him during one of her seizures. His smile when she came out of the bathroom at Jam Pony in that dress. The smell of him when she first woke up in his arms that first night. The way every night after that he would hold her and she would burrow closer. It had been the only times in her life, where she had ever enjoyed that after sex cuddling more than the sex. She loved him and she knew it. She knew that she would do anything for him, even leave him like she was doing now.

Would he hate her? She stared out the window at the landscape as it passed by. The bus had entered Canada less than thirty minutes ago and to Max the air seemed to be cleaner. Her stomach churned partially from fear and partially from excitement of going somewhere new, of having her freedom once again. But would he hate her when he got the letter or would he understand why she had to leave?

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�Here.� Cindy slipped the note into Kendra�s pocket, as they stepped into the elevator at Logan�s apartment building. They had been playing hot potato all night with the note and neither one had given in yet. Cindy then pushed the button for the penthouse.

�I don�t want to give it to him.� Kendra said as she pulled the note out of her pocket and attempted to give the note back to Cindy. �Besides she gave the note to you, anyway.�

�No, she gave it to you . Besides Original Cindy is not going to be the messenger on this one.�

�I can�t give it to him. Max gave it to you, specifically because she wanted you to to give it to her.�

�Now, you know that if she had actually thought about it, Max would have given it to you.�

�I can�t believe she is doing this in a note. Do you think she told him?�

�Damn this elevator is slow. No I think the girl wussed out.� The elevator finally stopped at the floor. The doors opened and both of them walked out.

�So you have the note, right?� Kendra asked one last time.

�No, you have it.� Cindy replied as she knocked on the door.

�It�s your job.� Kendra tried one last time.

�It will be better coming from you.� With that Bling opened the door. Cindy walked in. �What are you doing here so late?�

�Helping him out and what are you two doing here?� Bling asked as he followed the two as they walked through the apartment looking for Logan.

�We need to talk to him. What is that smell?� Kendra answered.

�He�s cooking dinner.� Bling replied.

�So he�s in the kitchen.� Cindy started walking towards the smell. Suddenly Kendra stopped them.

�Wait, is he cooking dinner for Max?� She asked.

�Yeah, why?� Bling was now curious.

Cindy and Kendra both looked at each other and simultaneously said, �Shit!�

�Bling who is it?� They heard Logan yell from the kitchen.

�Twiddle dee and twiddle dumb.�

�Hey.� They both said in unison, before they began their game of hot potato again. They walked into the kitchen. Logan was standing over a stove, whipping up what smelled like a masterpiece.

�What are you two doing here?� Logan smiled, slightly confused. He had only ever seen Cindy and Kendra with Max. A small pit formed in his stomach.

�We need to talk to you.� Kendra started.

�About...� Logan continued.

�About Max....� Cindy began.

�She�s okay, right.� Logan broke in frantically.

�She�s fine.� Kendra quickly added. Logan breathed.

�It�s that she wanted Kendra to give you something.�

�Cindy.� The two gave each other a quick shove. But Kendra then noticed the look on Logan�s face and she knew that she had to be the barer of bad news. �Logan, I�m sorry.� She handed Logan the letter.

His hands shook silently as he took the letter from Kendra. Things had been going so well for them lately. But he knew that this note would end that, he could tell from their faces. He almost didn�t want to open it, didn�t they say that ignorance was bliss. Maybe he could just be ignorant about this. He leaned against the counter and opened the letter. He could tell Max�s handwriting right away. For someone who was a trained killer, her writing was very bubbly.

Logan,

I don�t know how to write this to you, but I know that I need to tell you something. Thank you, first of all, for everything that you have done and everything that you are. You are all that is good and true in this world. Thank you for making me feel, for the first time like a real human. Thank you for loving me, I will never forget that. I wouldn�t be doing this if I didn�t feel it was absolutely necessary. I wouldn�t leave you now if I didn�t think that I was a liability to you. But I am.

Two nights ago, Lydecker�s goons attacked me as I was coming out of your apartment. I managed to get away, but he knew that I was here and it would only be a matter of time before he figured out who I was with. I can�t let anything happen to you, especially because of me, I love you too much.

That�s why by the time you are reading this, I have already left the country. I will call Cindy and Kendra to let them know that I am okay But they don�t know where I will be and I won�t let them know either. Don�t try and find me, please. Let us end, in this note. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and if things were different. No, I can�t think like that, things aren�t different. Zack was right, I couldn�t stay in one place for too long. Lydecker won�t give up and I can�t go back there, not now.

I am sorry that I was too big of a coward to not tell you to your face. But I knew that I would have never gone if I had done it that way. I do love you and I will always love you. But I want you to forget about me. I want you to find some intelligent beautiful woman who loves you and I want you to be happy. Live the life, I so desperately want to share with you. Be happy.

All of my love and tears,
Max

Logan stood there for what seemed like an eternity. He finally looked up at Kendra and Cindy with tears in his eyes. Kendra instinctively went to hold him and he let her. She held him tight and whispered, �She didn�t want to go, you need to know that. She had to though, it was the only way.�

Cindy went and turned off the stove, while Bling blew out the candles. Nobody knew what to say, everything was silent. Finally Logan broke from Kendra�s arms and calmly said, �I need to be alone.�

�Okay. But you know our number if you want to talk.� Cindy said.

�If you need anything, just call okay.� Kendra added.

�I�ll be fine.� Logan looked up. His eyes were blurry and fazed. It was like this was some weird dream that he would wake up from. �Just go.�

The three listened and walked out of the apartment. As soon as they closed the door, they heard a loud crash. Kendra started back towards the door, but Bling stopped her. �Let him be alone.� Kendra nodded and they entered the elevator.

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The next couple of months were weird for Max. She had lived in five different towns in four months. She knew she needed to settle down somewhere but she didn�t want to. She finally ended up getting an apartment in Vancouver. Her next door neighbor was an older woman in her mid-60�s. She was kind to Max and over time Max started to trust her more and more. Max had gotten a job in a local coffee shop, nothing too exciting but it paid the rent and paid for food. She no longer did anything that would lead to her getting caught. She was straight for once and it actually felt good. Logan would be so proud of her.

She missed him and nothing she said was going to change it. She talked to Kendra and Cindy fairly regularly. They often would talk to her about him. She never asked, they simply added. In the beginning, it was stuff like �he misses you� or �he�s doing better.� Than it became �He doesn�t hate you.� She knew that they were hiding stuff but she was too afraid to ask about what they weren�t saying. Too scared that she would lose her resolve and go running back. However, it scared her when they stopped adding their comments about him. It made her miss him even more.

But this was for the best, right?

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Logan was doing better. But it had been months before he started feeling whole again. The first couple of weeks had been rough. Bling, Original Cindy, and Kendra had been coming by everyday checking on him. Cindy was the first to convince him to leave the apartment. Slowly, a day at a time he was gaining back his life. But there was still that constant ache of Max. He knew that in order for that ache to go away, he had to see her one more time. But every time he suggested it Cindy or Kendra told him to give her time. �Let her do this on her own schedule,� they said. He couldn�t help feeling that they knew something that they weren�t telling him.

He had started to get on with his life, though. �Eyes-Only� came back and he tried to act as if everything was normal. About six months after Max had left, he had even started dating someone. Though he knew that the relationship was somewhat shallow, it made him feel better. She didn�t allow him to pity himself.

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Cindy was starting to spend more and more time with Logan. She missed Max too and wanted to help him get over her. Of course, she knew that he never really would. Sometimes, she would go over to his place after work and he would make her dinner. They would sit and talk for hours. She always used to wonder how Max could spend so many hours with this man, while still remaining platonic. Now she knew.

He had told her about �Eyes-Only.� At first, she had been shocked but then it all sort of made sense. There had always been a weird business-like relationship between Max and Logan and now she knew why.

She talked to Max though, almost every week. They would talk for hours about their lives. Cindy could here that she was homesick. Even Kendra noted it. But there was nothing anyone could do about it. Sometimes she would tell Logan about their conversations and he would listen intently. She knew that he was waiting for her to slip up and tell him something that she wasn�t supposed to but she never did.

She would tell Max about Logan sometimes. But lately she had been quiet about the subject. She knew that Max�s feelings were getting more and more tender as the time wore on and she didn�t want to upset Max anymore than she had to.

Cindy had actually been happy for Logan, when he started seeing Erin. She knew that he was only dating her for company but it was reassuring to her that he was letting himself get over Max. Cindy was shocked to find that even though she was spending one on one time with Logan, she also started hanging out with some of his peps. They weren�t all as bad as she had thought.

Tonight, they were having a small dinner party at Logan�s. Kendra was going to stop by after her date. Cindy and Bling had helped Logan prepare for the night. It was sometime after dinner that Cindy�s phone rang. She didn�t answer the first call. She looked at the caller id and didn�t recognize the number. A few moments later her phone rang again. She picked it up, �Hello?�

�Hello, is this Cindy.� The woman asked.

�Yes and this is.� She smiled at the girl she had been talking to. She noticed that Logan looked over at her with a questioning in her eyes.

�This is Marie. I�m calling about Jennifer. We tried to call your apartment but nobody was there. So I finally found this number.�

�Oh, wait your Jen�s next door neighbor, right?� Max had changed her name to Jen in Canada. Cindy was not used to using it at all.

�Yes, I am. Maria Adler.�

�Is everything okay?� Cindy now was curious as to why this woman was calling her and a bit concerned too.

�She wanted me to call you, if anything went wrong.�

�Where are you?� Cindy heard voices in the background.

�I am at the hospital. Jennifer started having cramps and bleeding, so I took her to the hospital. She wanted me to call you. She is not doing so well, dear.�

�What hospital?� The word hospital made Logan�s ears perk up even more. The doorbell rang though and interrupted his curiosity. Marie continued to give Cindy the information about Max.

Logan answered the door and Kendra came rushing in. �Where�s Cindy?� she asked, not waiting for response. Kendra then saw her on the phone and walked over. She started to say something but Cindy hushed her with her hand. She was frantically writing down information about the hospital.

�And what was the doctor�s name? .... Okay. Is Jen awake? Can I talk to her?� Cindy started walking into Logan�s bedroom for privacy. Logan and Kendra followed. �Hey boo, how you feeling? .... Shh, calm down. Everything will be fine. .... I know, Max calm down we can handle all of that. ... How are you? ... What did the doctor say? ... Okay. No, you know what here is what we are going to do ... no ... Where am I? I�m at the Crash. ... No I am not lying. Would I lie to you? ... I am not at Logan�s.� Cindy looked up at Logan with that statement. He was concerned, she could tell. �Boo, here is what Kendra and I are going to do. We are going to drive up there and get you out of the hospital and bring you home. .... Yeah, I know that you don�t think its safe, but its better than being in that hospital. No buts. You need to take care of yourself. Let us worry about the details. We will call when we head out and let you know. Now get some sleep. LOve you.� Cindy then turned the phone off.

�She�s in the hospital?� Logan asked.

�Yeah and don�t ask anything more. This isn�t good and we got to figure a way to get her out. Logan can we borrow your car?�

�Of course, but I�m going with you.�

�No.� Kendra quickly answered. �That will only cause more problems.�

�We will bring her back here. Okay, Logan. You have got to trust us with this one.� Cindy continued. And with that Logan handed over the keys and started to get the sector passes ready for them. An hour later Cindy and Kendra were on their way up north to bring Max home.

Chapter 2