To say that the Master/Mistress is more important in the relationship than the sub/slave is incorrect. Both participants are equally important & it should also be noted that in being Dominant, the Master/Mistress does not take this role in a demeaning or cruel way with the sub/slave (unless part of a scene). Granted, there are Dominants out there Who believe this to be what it�s all about & therefore strongly pursue a doctrine of harsh cruelty, declaring that this is how M/s or D/s is supposed to be. It isn�t. In essence the M/s or D/s relationship is the bonding of two consenting souls, one Dominant, one submissive, to form a partnership where each complements the other. You�ve heard of yin & yang where the yin complements the yang to form the whole. Apart, each is ineffective but together they form a powerful fusion. The M/s & D/s relationship is basically the same union between two souls as you find in vanilla relationships but with a BDSM theme & a lifestyle all its own. Remove the BDSM from the relationship & you have the same successful relationship found among many vanillas. A relationship based on love, respect, care & development of each partner�s contribution to the other.
I am a Master in an online relationship, but have also experienced real life. My online slave is My beloved darkangel who is lovingly called (by Me alone) My slut. My slut & I have what I believe to be a very promising M/s relationship which could, if directed the right way, spill over into a real life relationship. My slut serves Me in every way, placing My needs above her own & My desires before hers. In return, she receives My love & devotion, My care for her, My protection & My guidance in developing her into the very best slave she can be & craves to be. What we have is the closest thing to a TPE that can be had in an online relationship. And it works for us. Naturally, what works for her & I also works for some others but also not for all others. What works & what doesn�t will depend on the partners, upon their personalities, natures, needs, desires & personal values. There is one other aspect that I have not mentioned. Honour. I am happy to say that My slut & I have honour in our relationship. That little voice inside that says �you have her, leave all others be�. Or �she gives you all & in turn deserves all from You�. This is what constitutes the monogamous M/s relationship. It is what we feel to be ideal for us.
Polygamous relationships are complex & potentially destructive to the submissives & to the Dominants who have not mastered Themselves before embarking upon such a relationship. Sure, it�s every Man�s fantasy to bed two or more women & to be served by more than one woman, the �harem�. But the reality is that unless You have mastered Yourself & remain fully in control of Yourself, how can You ever hope to master more than one sub/slave in a way that nurtures them & develops them in ways that satisfies them? It�s a very controversial area & I believe it is a minefield to the unaware. For many of Us it�s challenging enough to care for one, let alone more than one. Consider very carefully what You are letting Yourself & Your subs in for before beginning a poly relationship.
In closing, I will give some advice from lessons I have learned personally. First, be true to Yourself & Your sub/slave above all else. Second, conduct Yourself in a manner which reflects honour & dignity back upon Yourself & Your sub/slave. Thirdly, be firm but fair. Be strict yet yielding. Know your sub/slave & what he/she needs, then direct them. Don�t force them, direct them. Guide them. They will appreciate it from their Master/Mistress & You will have the satisfaction of seeing them grow & develop into what they CAN be & what You WANT them to be.
Be Well.
SilentDarkWolfe - 2006
