"How many more books do you own, Joey?" Jack whined as he and Pacey were hoisting yet another heavy box, labeled with ‘Joey-books III’, up the narrow spiral staircase.

Joey turned around, narrowing her eyes on Jack. They had been moving her things from the dorm to the apartment all morning and he was complaining incessantly. It wasn’t even that he was doing most of the work, actually he had hung around most of the time, waiting until something had to be carried and his mood turned really sour as they had to turn off Joey’s small TV set to stow and secure it in one of the moving boxes Pacey had organized.

"What did you say you were doing during the semester break? Working out a lot? Spending hours and hours in the school gym? Because if you said that... I wonder why you’re not able to lift a little box like that without whining like a baby." Joey crossed her arms in front of her chest, challenging Jack to answer.

Jack’s eyes widened at her outburst, not knowing what to say to that for numerous reasons. First, she was right. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle the boxes. Second, he did spent hours in the gym and this tiny move was not half as exhausting as his usual workout. Third, he wasn’t used to the Potter wrath.

Weighing his options he decided to turn to Pacey, "What’s wrong with her?"

Pacey inhaled, not in the least eager to guide Joey’s bad temper towards him. Quickly glancing at her, he tilted his head and motioned Jack to go on. "Well, name a single person who likes moving and who isn’t stressed by it. And the box isn’t getting lighter in any way, so flex your newly acquired muscles and we should be done in about half an hour.

"Fine." Jack sighed and lifted the box on his side. If this was what he could expect of living with Joey and Pacey... he was sure the good ole leisure times were gone.

Maneuvering the box into Pacey’s room, which was now Joey and Pacey’s realm and looked pretty crowded with all those cartons, both men set the latest addition down.

Stretching his tired arms, Pacey sat down on the closest box and looked at Jack apologetically. "I’m sorry, man. I know that Jo’s a little bitchy today. As much as that’s due to the whole organizing of the move, it’s probably even more so because she’s freaking about Audrey’s return."

"She’s coming back?" Jack leaned against the closed door, beginning to understand what was going on with his friend.

"Yeah, she left a message on Jo’s answering machine last week. She’ll be back on Thursday." Pacey ran his hand through his hair. To be honest, it unnerved him, too. Even if Audrey was clean and sober now, they didn’t know how she would react to all the new developments. Not only were they together again, they were living together now. Something, he had spurned over and over again whenever Audrey had brought the topic up.

"I see. She’s afraid that Audrey will flip and take hold of the bottle again?"

"Something like that, I guess. And, well... I can’t say I’m so sure about what will happen either." Pacey stood up and patted Jack’s back. "I know it’s unfair towards you, but we should try and make things easy, for all of us. Jo will be back to her normal self as soon as things have settled down."

"Did things really ever settle down when you two are involved?" Jack chuckled and opened the door.

Pacey considered his question for a moment. Even if it was meant to be a jocose query, it did hold some truth to it. "I don’t know. That would depend on your definition of ‘to settle down’."

"You know that I was joking, right? I just wanted to lighten the mood, but I guess that didn’t work out." Jack turned back to face Pacey again. Maybe he should hone his walking-on-eggshells-technique when being around his roomies for a while, at least until they weren’t that sensitive anymore.

"Yeah, but... I mean, you’re right. It’s not like our relationship was that ordered or stable in the past. So this will be a first for us. "

"Perhaps your past was a little rocky, but honestly Pacey, since I was around for most of it, I think it’s safe to say that the love you two share is anything but unsteady. Okay, there might have been some obstacles along the way, but deep down? It was only a question of time until you came to your senses." Jack winked at him hearteningly and stepped into the hall.

~*~

Several hours later Pacey’s former room had gone through an almost complete transformation. Although his taste in furniture had immensely improved over the years and Joey loved the warm walnut furniture, his room used to lack in certain endowments she just couldn’t live without.

Therefore she had dragged him through an uncountable number of furniture stores and second hand shops over the last two weeks. Surprisingly Pacey hadn’t objected much, to the contrary, he became quite interested in what their room would look like.

None of his furniture was removed but some of it had to find a new place in the room. The low bookcase that had sat in the niche left from the bed was moved around the corner, at the wall next to the door. The vacated space was filled with a writing desk, that fitted perfectly inside the small alcove. The desk was big enough to write and work with the computer at the same time and the wall was adorned with bookshelves.

A second sideboard was placed under the window, where it triple functioned as a side table for Pacey’s cozy armchair, a place for Joey’s TV set and of course as a means to hold clothes.

The formerly bare wall to the right of the bed, next to the walk-in closet was custom-finished with a big, tall shelf-system, holding books, CD’s and Pacey’s small stereo system.

Besides that Joey had only added her personal decorative items, framed pictures, a pinboard and a few other things. All in all it was the perfect combination of both of their personalities, displaying more than ever that they were an ‘us’ now.

~*~

"You know, I never thought we would get done with everything today." Joey flopped down on the bed and yawned.

"But we did, thanks to your master plan, Potter. You’ve been quite the little slave driver today, you know?" Pacey joined her on the bed, lying on his left side.

Funny how his bed became theirs. They had always slept like this. Joey to his right and her to his left side. She had said once, that every couple would have a unique sleeping position and to emphasize her theory, she described how Dawson and her had shared a bed. Of course he had cringed at the image, but it was a nice idea otherwise.

"Yeah, I was bitchy and a pain in the neck for you and especially for Jack." Joey sighed and rolled over to face Pacey.

"Realization is the first step towards enlightenment, or so they say." Pacey chuckled and brushed some stray strands of her hair out of her face.

"Did you rake around my books by any chance?" Joey smirked and let her tongue peek out a little.

"Are you mocking me?" Pacey’s eyes widened and he pressed his hand over his heart. "You wound me, Josephine. And after all I’ve done for us today.

"Aww, baby... I’m sorry. I guess I have to make it up to you... and to Jack." Joey scooted closer to him, their bodies almost touching now and placed her palm against his cheek.

"Mhmmm.... maybe you should. What will you do with Jack, though? I don’t think he would appreciate your usual way of making up."

"You think he wouldn’t like... this?" Joey asked innocently, kissing the corners of his mouth lightly, teasingly. "Or this?" she questioned while placing feather-light kisses along his jaw-line.

"Umm..." Pacey’s heartbeat quickened with the tiny, tingling sensations she created on his skin. "You’ve been there, done that.... remember? Our dear friend might find it endearing if you would... ummm, change your sex for a while, though." Thinking became really difficult for him.

"Hmm, I don’t know about that, sweetie. I do remember a certain incident when I was drawing him... in the nude." Joey giggled, and ran her hand through his thick hair. ‘

"That doesn’t count, he’s a man, that just happens..." Pacey pulled her even closer, showing her what exactly happened to him at this moment.

"It does? It didn’t just happen that easily to Daws..."

"Could you stop talking about your ex-boyfriends, please?" Pacey silenced her with a soft kiss on her lips. Although the idea of Dawson being unable to stand his man, amused him to no end.

"Okay..." Joey smiled and returned the kiss, before drawing back again. "I think I’ll make it up to Jack with a dinner tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"Dinner? You want to cook?" Pacey raised his brow doubtfully.

"We both know I’m not the cook here." Joey grinned and winked at him meaningfully.

"Ah, I see... you want me to cook for us, so that you can make it up to Jack by using my abilities."

"Yep, food always does it for Jack. And I’ll make it up to you again.... after dinner." Joey licked her lips quickly, her eyes darkening as she glanced into his blue orbs.

"Really? Killing two birds with one stone? I guess I like the way you’re thinking..." Pacey frowned but couldn’t help but smile.

"Great!" Joey slipped one hand beneath his shirt, caressing his smooth skin.

"Mhmm, I thought you were tired?" Pacey swallowed, hoping she wasn’t really that tired.

"Not anymore," Joey whispered and captured his lips with her own.

~*~

Pacey trailed his hands over her shoulder and along her bare arms. Although it was still more winter than spring, all the arranging and re-arranging of furniture, books, clothes and everything else had kept them pretty warm, changing into hot since they laid down on the bed.

"So you’re up for some christening?" he asked huskily against her soft skin, peppering her throat with tiny kisses.

"Mhmm, isn’t it a little late for that? Your bed isn’t exactly virginal anymore." Joey tilted her head and smirked with her tongue peeking out behind her teeth just a little bit.

Pacey groaned and flipped them over, so that he was partially lying on top of her, sucking her tongue without a warning inside his mouth and leaving her momentarily breathless before pulling back, just far enough to look at her.

"See, that was my bed the last time it saw some action... and from today on, this is our bed, complete with those nice new sheets you bought. So our bed is as virginal as possible." Pacey declared very pleased with himself, especially when he realized that Joey had problems following his string of thoughts.

"Smart, Witter." Joey finally regained control over her voice again.

Grinning, his eyes sparkled as he maneuvered his leg between Joey’s. "See, witless doesn’t really fit me."

"Never said it would," Joey whispered and pulled his face back down, already feeling intoxicated but needing much more of his kisses, their kisses.

Pacey slowly moved his hand up along her side and finally cupping her breast, circling his thumb around the already hardened nipple.

Joey moaned and arched her back while nibbling on his lower lip. Her hands played with Pacey’s thick hair, gently holding him in place, so that he wouldn’t stop kissing her.

Since they’d got back together again, one thing that was new for them was that there was no hurried lovemaking anymore. Hurried, as in having to fear that somebody might barge in on them because they were never alone, or fearing that they did something wrong. Those fears were gone and they took their time now, no matter if it was a quickie in Pacey’s office or spending a whole morning or day in bed.

Nevertheless Pacey became a little frustrated with Joey’s clothes and slipped one hand under her shirt, pushing it up, as his other hand guided her arms above her head.

Joey smiled against his lips, realizing what he was trying to do. It wasn’t an easy task, since she was lying on her back and she was just as anxious as Pacey to get their clothes off. Without breaking their needy kisses she sat up and raised her arms.

Pacey followed her movement, actually they were moving and working together as one. In the split second they had to part to remove her shirt, Joey simultaneously made quick work of the buttons on Pacey’s shirt, sliding it off his shoulders just as hers fell to the floor.

Her bra and his wifebeater followed, leaving them half-naked as they fell back to the bed.

"This is real, huh?" Pacey whispered as he scooted up besides Joey, facing her.

"Very real," Joey replied in a hushed voice and gently pulled his head closer, letting her kisses tell him just how real they were.

~*~

"Well, well... if this is how it’s gonna be from now on... feel free to bitch around as much and as often as you want Joey." Jack grinned and leaned back, patting his more than satisfied tummy contently.

"You’re pushing your luck, McPhee." Pacey warned from the kitchen area, preparing the grand finale of Joey’s make up dinner, which he ended up cooking of course. Not that there had been any doubt about it. He wouldn’t mind doing it everyday if that was the price he had to pay for having her live with him, which he wouldn’t tell her though. But she knew that he loved cooking and she did go shopping for them, getting everything he had asked for. So it wasn’t like she was exploiting him or his cooking abilities... and maybe he had too much of the wine she had bought, since he was even rambling in his thoughts.

"Uh-huh..." Jack’s grin just got bigger, "Whatever you say." Leaning closer to Joey, he nudged her arm with his elbow and whispered loudly, "He really thinks he’s in a position to threaten me? We both know he’s sadly mistaken there and that he’s already whipped into shape, right?"

"Hmm, I don’t know, Jack. And who says he would be the only one whipped into shape? I think Emma was slacking a little in the whipping department before she left for England. Things are going to change, my dear friend." Joey smirked and got up, stacking their used dishes up and carrying them over to the counter.

"Huh? What?" Jack almost toppled over with his chair as he followed Joey with his eyes.

"Jackers, Jackers... I thought you were more sensible towards a woman’s way of corrupting the men in her life. Seeing that Jen is pretty good with the whip as well," Pacey chuckled, pouring fresh strawberry sauce over his panna cotta.

"What?" Jack’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, staring at his friends and roommates.

"Boys, stop it. Let’s just enjoy this delicious and festive debut of mine in our little commune here." Joey snaked her arms around Pacey’s waist, kissing his neck lovingly and whispered against his skin, "Thank you for facilitating it, Pace."

"My pleasure... and I haven’t forgotten about your promise last night, you know... making it up to me." Pacey winked at her, carrying the sweet sin of a dessert over to their newly acquired dining table.

The table was another thing Joey had insisted on and although they only had it for two days, he started to think about how they could have lived without it. Sure, the counter was okay for a quick bite, but the round table offered them a nice meeting place. And dining or having breakfast together would be a great addition to their daily life.

The table offered seating for four, but was able to accommodate up to six, if they used the extending leaf that was hidden from view.

"Fine... I’m not complaining." Jack rubbed his hands together as his eyes were longingly trained on Pacey’s dessert creation. It didn’t bothered him to be whipped like that, may it be by Jen or by Joey. Life was pretty good as it was. And he knew that Pacey thought the same. In comparison, both of them had lucked out with those girls, in more ways than one.

"Speaking of Jen," Joey returned to her seat and smoothed the napkin Pacey was handing her over her lap, "Where is she? You did call her, didn’t you?"

"Yeah, I did. I couldn’t get a hold of her though." Jack closed his eyes as the first spoon of the panna cotta disappeared into his mouth, sighing happily, before continuing, "I left a message on her mailbox. She’s probably out and about with C.J."

"Her loss then." Pacey shrugged, grabbing his spoon as well.

"Yeah, but it’s not like Jen not to return a call." Joey frowned slightly.

"She’ll do it when she has time, don’t worry," Jack mumbled with a full mouth. "Or... she’ll just make an appearance... out of the blue, you know?" he added confidently as they heard the rapping sound of a knock at their apartment door.

"Could be," Pacey agreed and stood up to go and open the door. "Yep, you were right. There she is..." Pacey stepped back to let Jen enter the apartment as he confirmed Jack’s prediction. "Hi Jen, the later the evening, the fairer the company."

"Hey." Jen acknowledged Pacey’s greeting wearily, causing her friends to sense that something was wrong right away.

"Here, let me take your coat," Pacey offered and closed the door.

"Huh?" Jen frowned and stared at Pacey with a blank expression. "Oh, right... my coat. Thank you." Slipping out of it she handed him the garment but stayed rooted to the spot.

Exchanging concerned glances with Jack and Joey, Pacey gently placed his hand on Jen’s back, guiding her over to the dining table.

"We’ve just finished dinner... sorry that we didn’t wait for you, but since you didn’t call..." Jack started to apologize, but Jen didn’t seem to listen to what he was saying.

"We have lots of leftovers though. I can warm it up for you." Pacey couldn’t help the uneasy feeling he had. Jen acted as if she wasn’t herself.

"Umm... no, thank you. I don’t want anything," Jen finally replied. "Actually... I, umm... I ..." she tried to explain but her voice broke and her eyes teared up.

"Jen?" Jack immediately gathered her into his arms, trying to understand what was going on.

Sobbing Jen relaxed briefly into his consoling embrace, but drew back after only a few seconds. She knew that she had to explain herself, feeling the worried eyes of her friends on her. "I’m sorry. I... umm..."

"Jen, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" Jack asked hurriedly, at the same time checking her appearance, calmed that he couldn’t find any injuries at least.

"Yeah, I’m okay... I guess. I just need to tell you something... and I really need to talk with you, Joey." Jen raised her already puffy eyes to meet Joey’s.

"Okay, sure... but you’re scaring us here, Jen. What is it? What’s going on?" Joey asked anxiously and reached for Jen’s hand. Trying to calm her so that she could start talking.

~*~

Jen took a deep breath, holding on to Joey’s hand and leaning back against Jack. She almost felt safe again, even though she knew that nothing would get better, at least she had someone to talk to.

"Umm, you remember that I told you about Grams being... ummm... strange?" she asked, seeking eye contact with Joey.

"Yes, I do. Have you talked with her?" Joey felt her heartbeat quicken. This couldn’t be good, it just couldn’t.

Pacey and Jack glanced from Jen to Joey and back before staring at one another, a big question mark almost visible in their eyes.

"Yeah, I did." Jen sighed and closed her eyes briefly. "And after a little argument, well... the thing is... Grams, she’s sick. And I mean really sick."

Three shocked pairs of eyes flew to Jen, desperately wishing that it wasn’t that bad, that their ears didn’t hear what they heard. Jen’s face, unusually pale and her teary eyes didn’t promise to make it all better though.

"It’s cancer, breast cancer. And she needs radiation therapy, soon... next week actually. And, she was okay with me telling you this... but she doesn’t really want to talk about it. So..." Jen shrugged helplessly.

As horrible as this news was, Pacey’s attention immediately turned towards Joey. Cancer. Again. Although it wasn’t a member of her family, it concerned Grams, who was really the grandmother of all of them. He knew that Grams’ illness would open the old but still not healed wounds again.

The sudden silence that filled the apartment was almost too loud to bear and for a second, time seemed to stand still.

Joey’s mouth opened slightly as her eyes closed on their own accord. Cancer. Blurry pictures appeared and disappeared before her. Images of her mother, the hospital, black dresses on an unrealistic bright day and images of herself, hiding from everyone. As she opened her eyes again, she met Pacey’s gaze and she knew that he understood. She smiled slightly, but enough to tell him a wordless ‘thank you’.

Joey scooted closer to Jen, wrapping her arms around her and just letting her know that she wasn’t alone. Sometimes that was everything you needed. Nothing more, but nothing less.

Jack wrung his hands together, not knowing what to do or say. Although he had been confronted with serious illnesses, death even, he felt helpless and unable to console Jen. Looking up, he watched Pacey, who was silent as well. Only that he was glancing at Jen and Joey, who were still embracing, while softly caressing Joey’s back, keeping in contact and letting her know that he was there.

He had almost forgotten about Joey’s experience with this horrible illness. In fact, he had felt a little pang when Jen said that she needed to talk with Joey instead of him. But he understood. In a way he was relieved that Jen could talk about this with Joey. It wasn’t like he and Jen weren’t as close as before, no, far from it. But the girls’ friendship had grown a lot since high school and there were certain things and topics they preferred to discuss between themselves, away from prying male ears – no matter if straight or gay ones.

Feeling Jack’s eyes on him, Pacey tilted the head and nodded slightly, motioning towards the kitchen. Maybe it was better to give them a little alone time, so that Jen could get everything off of her chest. She wanted Joey to listen to her. They should respect that and he knew that in situations like these people didn’t want to have a flock of people gathered around them. It was more than difficult as it was, without having to explain oneself to everyone.

"What about some hot chocolate?" Pacey offered as he stood up, planting a light kiss on Joey’s head.

"That’s a great idea... your special?" Joey turned her head, offering him a lopsided smile.

"Of course," running his hand through her silky hair once more, Pacey followed Jack to the kitchen area.

~*~

"What can we do here?" Jack asked tiredly, hoisting himself up on one of the barstools.

"There’s not much we can do." Pacey sighed and adjusted the temperature on the range to warm up milk for his special hot chocolate. "The only thing we can do, is support Grams and Jen as much as we can. To be there when they need us, helping them and trying to get their minds off of constantly musing about the cancer and all the what ifs."

"Okay, but... how? I mean, how are we supposed to do this? Pretending that nothing’s wrong? Or what?"

"Just be yourself, Jack. Okay, cancer is serious but it doesn’t have to mean that it’s a death sentence."

"Right, right. Of course." Jack took a deep breath and glanced over his shoulder, peeking at Joey and Jen who had moved over to the couch. "I guess I’m not good at handling this."

"Who is, really?" Pacey kept an eye on the milk while searching for the rest of his special ingredients.

"Well, Joey seems to be." Jack nodded towards the couch. "Jen is much calmer now."

Pacey followed Jack’s gaze, shaking his head slightly. "Maybe, but I wouldn’t be so sure about the handling part. She’s on auto-pilot now. Dealing with cancer will never be easy for Joey." Sucking on his lower lip Pacey wondered just how long it would take until Joey broke down.

~*~

"Thank you, Joey. Thank you for listening to me." Jen blew her nose and rubbed her hurting eyes.

"You don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends are for," Joey replied, touching Jen’s arm gently.

"Yeah, but it’s one thing to say that and another thing to actually do it.... and I know that this isn’t easy for you." Jen drew her knees up and shifted around to find a more comfortable position on the couch. "I just wanted... I mean, I know that you’ve gone through all of this with... umm, with your mom," hesitating Jen considered for the first time that Joey might not be that eager to talk about it. "I’m sorry."

"It’s okay, really. I know how you’re feeling right now, but... you have to remember, that this isn’t the end. From what you’ve told me, they found the cancer during a check-up examination. You said they think it’s still in an early stage... that’s good. My mom, that was different. We didn’t notice it until it was too late. I mean, we still had hope and she fought... but..." biting her lip, Joey’s voice trailed of.

"Yeah... Grams said," Jen cleared her throat and stared out of the window, "she said that she’s not ready to die."

~*~

Two hours later Pacey finally closed their bedroom door behind him and leaned against it, as he watched Joey undress.

They had talked for a little while longer with Jen, soothing themselves with hot chocolate, sprinkled with small pieces of marshmallows.

Seeing that it was getting later by the minute, they decided that Jen should stay at the apartment for the night and after they had called Grams, Jack had tucked her in, making good use of Emma’s old room.

Joey had been very quiet while they took care of the dishes, doing it not so much because they didn’t want to leave them for the next day, but because they needed to busy themselves with something as stupid as that.

He just hoped she wouldn’t shut him out. Back then she had refused to seek comfort in anyone, although she had spent a lot of time with him. Just hanging around, because he could make her smile about some inane joke, while Dawson always tried to analyze everything, even when there was nothing left to analyze. How could you analyze your mother’s imminent death anyway?

"Jo?" Maybe he should have waited for her to say something, but he couldn’t.

"Hmmm?" Joey slipped his jersey, which miraculously had become her sleeping shirt, on and tilted her head towards him.

Pushing himself away from the door, Pacey slowly stepped forward. "Umm, are you okay? I mean, with Grams... this brings back memories, maybe opens old wounds?"

Joey pressed her lips together, but only for a second before her trademark smile reappeared. "I’m okay." Grabbing her hairbrush she sat down on the bed and patted the empty spot right next to her. "Would you...?"

"Yeah, sure." He was still not really convinced that Joey was indeed okay, but he accepted her offer with a smile.

Taking his place behind her, he waited until she got settled in an Indian style position, with her back towards him, before he started to brush her hair, holding it in one hand, while sliding the brush through it with the other. He loved this little ritual.

"Of course it reminds me of my mom. And of course I’m worried about Grams like we all are." Joey closed her eyes, simply enjoying Pacey’s tender touch. "But I’m not freaking out... not yet anyway. I don’t know, maybe I’m trying the ‘be positive’- way for once. I refuse to think that Grams can’t overcome this damned disease."

"Yeah. Our dear Grams is a stubborn lady. She won’t give in just like that. And Jen did say that they discovered it early." Pacey repeated the same mantra they had reiterated all evening long.

"Yes." Joey reached for Pacey’s hand, stopping his efforts by taking the brush from him and tossing it on the nightstand. Snuggling against his chest, she laced her hand with his. "But, Pace?"

"Mhmm?" Pacey tightened his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Just in case, I mean... if it, you know... if I do start freaking out over the course of her treatment..." Joey inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Do you still remember those asinine jokes you told me? And those namby-pamby things you did to make me laugh? To make me feel better, if only for a little while?"

"Umm, yeah... I do." Pacey cleared his throat and kissed her temple.

"Good. Because... I might need them again... from time to time," Joey mumbled, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy. She felt totally relaxed and closed her eyes, still cuddling against Pacey.

"Sure. I might even have some new ones," Pacey whispered, knowing that she was almost asleep. He could even feel her smile. Nuzzling her hair he felt those tiny flutters somewhere in his stomach. Maybe it wasn’t very appropriate, but he couldn’t help himself. She remembered.

~*~

"Why have I signed up for this lecture on Middle English again? Can you remind me please?" Joey groaned and flopped back on their bed, eyeing Pacey who occupied the writing desk, working on the computer to tabulate endless excel charts.

"Hmmm," clicking on the ‘save file as’-option Pacey tore his eyes away from the screen and moved the swiveling chair around so that he could face her. "Let’s see, you’re thinking about taking English as your major, you’re fascinated with language, English in particular which includes the interest in its origins... and I believe this little cartoon series about the Canterbury Tales played an itty bitty part in it as well." He grinned as Joey rolled her eyes in defeat.

"Since when do you keep such a detailed account on my studies?" Joey asked amused. He was right of course, nevertheless she was amazed.

"Well, do I have to remind you that I remember everything?" Pacey smirked, stretching his arms and folding them behind his head.

"No, not really." Joey finally smiled and rolled to her side. "Okay then, note to self and to my Pacey archive: Never ever sign up for an unspecified Chaucer seminar ever again."

"Noted and filed," Pacey joked. Not even a whole week had passed since Joey moved in, but they couldn’t even imagine how it was to live without the other. Everything seemed easier when they were together. "Now tell me what’s bugging you so much."

Joey sighed and pushed the one-thousand-three-hundred-something strong ‘The Riverside Chaucer’ paperback along the bed so that Pacey could reach it. "Page 345, The Parliament of Fowles. A ‘poem’, or rather a dream vision, of seven-hundred lines. Which I have to read and to write a free essay on until Friday... and today is Tuesday and I haven’t even started."

Pacey took the book and browsed through the thin pages until he reached the designated page. Although the language was supposed to be an early variant of English, he didn’t really understand one word... let alone being able to pronounce it. "Okay, umm... see, for those of us who didn’t enter higher education... what is it about?"

"It’s about a bird debate, celebrating Valentine’s Day. There are three suitors wooing one female bird and while they’re arguing who suits her best, Chaucer tries to explain love." Joey yawned.

"Love? Three men fighting over a woman? Sounds pretty good to me."

"Duh! Why am I not surprised?" Joey rolled her eyes again and sighed.

"Because you know me so well." Pacey grinned impishly.

"Yeah, you bug me," Joey retorted playfully and glanced at the clock.

"You looove me." Pacey sing-songed and followed her gaze. "You’ve got to start your shift at Hell’s Kitchen soon, huh?"

"Unfortunately, yes, I do. Which is why this assignment bugs me so much."

"But you already know what it’s about. So where’s the problem exactly?" Pacey frowned.

"But it’s not enough to just know what it’s about, Pace. I have to read it completely. Remember the last assignment where I didn’t actually read the book? Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? As much fun as it was to watch the movie with you, it still sucked in class." Joey sighed and pushed herself up to change her comfortable home outfit to jeans and shirt.

"Point taken." Pacey rubbed his chin, an idea forming in his mind.

While Joey busied herself with her clothes, Pacey logged on to the internet, smiling proudly as he found what he was looking for.

"Okay, I need to go." Joey piled her hair up into a high ponytail.

"Yeah, wait a second. Look," Pacey took several pages out of the printer and walked over to Joey, wrapping his arms around her waist, "what I found...a very readable and understandable modern English translation... The Bird’s Debate."

"And?" Joey leaned back against Pacey, wanting to prolong the time they had together.

"And? Joey, Joey... will you work with me here?" Pacey chuckled. "When you come home, we can revive our good old tradition of reading books to one another, only this time we’ll exchange the Little Mermaid for some birds, what do you say?"

"Aww, you’re so sweet, Pace. You really want to do that? Reading Chaucer, that is?" Joey turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Sure. It doesn’t sound so bad after all." Pacey smiled and kissed her first gently, but when she opened her mouth, inviting him in, the kiss turned more passionate.

Almost losing themselves in their heated exchange, Joey found it increasingly difficult to draw back. A few minutes passed by, in which their tongues and hands explored their favorite places.

"I... really... need... to...go... now," Joey whispered in between kisses against his lips.

"Umm, yeah... right." Pacey kissed the tip of her nose, reluctantly stepping back and watching her adjusting her clothes again.

"So while I’m gone... you could always start keeping the bed warm, you know?" Joey smirked and stuck her tongue out, knowing what this did to him.

"So you love me now?" Pacey obediently sat down on the bed.

"Always... see you in a few hours." Joey blew him a final kiss through the air before rushing out of the room. Although she lived right across the street now, she somehow managed to be late most of the time.

"This woman will definitely be the death of me... sooner or later." Pacey thought and tugged at his strangely uncomfortably tight jeans.

~*~

"What was all that commotion about last night?" Jack yawned and scratched his chest.

"Commotion?" Pacey raised his eyebrow questioningly and continued to sip his coffee nonchalantly.

"Don’t play dumb, Witter. You know, my bedroom happens to be right next to yours and Joey’s. And the walls aren’t that thick either." Grabbing a toast, Jack yawned again.

"No idea what you’re talking about." Pacey tried to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth persistently morphed into a big, content smile.

"Uh-huh, right. Maybe I should consider moving into Emma’s old room if you two keep going at it almost every night... and all night long. And why are you hoarding the coffee?" Jack tapped his fingertips impatiently on the table top.

"Because I didn’t get much sleep and have a meeting in... umm.... forty minutes?" Pacey grinned.

"Arghhh... and whose fault would that be? And who cares about your meeting? I couldn’t sleep either... because of you!" Jack leaned over the table and lunged for the coffee pot.

"Tsk, tsk... Jack. You’re just jealous and the color green doesn’t really suit you. So smile and be happy for your two most favorite roommates."

Jack inhaled sharply, trying to think of a proper and preferably snappy come-back, but the second he opened his mouth, Joey’s almost giddy "Good morning, boys," wafted through the air.

Joey slipped on her chair, but not without kissing Pacey soundly on the lips.

"Oh please! Not again." Jack groaned and rolled his eyes.

"What’s wrong with him?" Joey frowned.

"Oh, I don’t know really. Maybe he, umm... got to listen to some of... umm... our Chaucer research?" Pacey suggested slowly, knowing that Joey wouldn’t be so happy about that information.

"Oh." Joey’s eyes widened and a deep blush crept over her face.

"Chaucer research? What kind of euphemism is that?" Jack inquired, suddenly wide awake.

"Umm, sorry if we were... a little... loud," Joey apologized, still deeply embarrassed.

Pacey smiled and raised her hand to his lips to place a comforting kiss on it. "He’ll live. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie."

"So? Chaucer?" Jack could be very persistent if he wanted to be.

"Yeah, I have this assignment, The Parliament of Fowles by Chaucer," Joey started to explain.

"And we read that. You won’t believe how interesting Middle English literature can be. This Chaucer had the idea that there are four kinds of love," Pacey continued.

"First the love of charity, second the love of Venus, meaning passionate and erotic love," Joey declared before Pacey took over again.

"He actually said, that eroticism may give you pleasure but only for a short time, since it couldn’t last and would only end in misery." Pacey shook his head. "I couldn’t agree with him there, and had to convince Joey that he was completely wrong with that assumption."

"Ah... I see..." Jack laughed. "Although I guess he does have a point in his theory. If you think about it..."

"You stop right there, Jackers. What would you know about that anyway?" Pacey interrupted him, his eyes shooting daggers at him, although his smirk gave him away.

"Why? Wanna convince me, too... sweetie?" Jack asked in an overly sugary and totally gay voice.

"Misery. Total and utter misery, Jack." Pacey shuddered.

"See?" Jack couldn’t stop laughing at Pacey’s expression. "What are the last two kinds of love?"

"Love of nature and courtly love." Now it was Joey’s turn to place a kiss on Pacey’s hand. Turning her attention away from Jack, she leaned closer to Pacey and whispered, "He’s kidding, baby."

"I know... but... I always knew he had a thing for me." Pacey chuckled.

"Could you two stop it? Besides, I’m sitting right here... it’s not nice to talk about people in the third person if they are present," Jack complained.

"Sorry, but you were asking for it." Joey giggled but suddenly turned quiet. "Umm, should we be joking like this? I mean, especially today when Grams starts her radiation treatment?"

"Yeah, especially today," Pacey affirmed. "If Grams doesn’t back down, why should we? And laughter has always been the best medicine."

"True, Patch Adams, huh?" Joey forced a little smile. Maybe he was right, but it was still hard to have fun like that and enjoy it.

"Exactly." Pacey checked his watch and sighed. "Well, if you still want to check out of your dorm before classes we should get cracking. I can drop you off and then head over to my meeting."

"Okay, I really have to do that today. I asked the housing office. Give me a second, then we can leave, okay?" Joey grabbed another piece of toast and took small bites while already heading back up to their room to gather her things.

~*~

Sitting down on her stripped bed, Joey let her eyes wander through the dorm room once again. Now that all of her personal things were removed, the last stowed away into the box that sat next to her, it was almost surreal. In a way it was frightening to think about how easy a person was removed from the memory.

Especially odd was, that Audrey’s side of the room, although most of her things weren’t there either, looked a lot more inhabited than her old half. She almost felt like an intruder in someone else’s privacy.

That was another thing that was weighing heavily on her heart. In less than twenty-four hours she was supposed to pick Audrey up at the airport and then she would have to tell her that she moved out, that she was back with Pacey. All in all, it wouldn’t be the nice reunion Audrey was probably expecting.

Joey hated goodbyes – even if it was just the parting from a room. The time she had spent here had been good, mostly at least. A home away from home, a symbol of what she was able to achieve in life.

Sighing she closed the lid of the box firmly and stood up, taking a final inventory and mentally ticking off the list in her head before signing the form the man at the housing office had handed her earlier. Another chapter in her book of life was closed.

"So, don’t get all sentimental now, Joey," she scolded herself and slipped her coat on. It was time to go.

~*~

Just as Joey grabbed her box and was about to walk over to the door, it suddenly flew open and Audrey stomped in, carrying a bunch of suitcases.

Joey’s eyes widened with slight shock, almost not believing what she was seeing with her own eyes. "Audrey?"

"Hi, bunny!" Audrey dumped her heavy baggage and rushed forward, enveloping Joey in a big hug.

"Oh my god," Joey muttered weakly. This was so not going to end well. Not like this, not there.

"Awww, I missed you bunny," Audrey gushed and finally stepped back when she realized that Joey wasn’t really in hugging mode. "What’s wrong?"

"Umm...Audrey, you’re back... a day early," Joey stated, frantically trying to come up with a modified version of her original plan of telling Audrey what happened during her absence.

"Yeah, I got early parole for good behavior." Audrey frowned and studied Joey carefully. Something was definitely off. "Well, actually, the rumor has it that Courtney Love was checking in, and they needed the extra room." Audrey’s eyes drifted away from Joey, taking in the changed appearance of their room.

A cold shiver crept through her, as she noticed that Joey’s belongings were completely gone. In fact nothing was left that could testify that she had ever lived there, except her current presence, of course. "Uh, speaking of rooms... what happened to our room?"

"Umm, yeah... about that... look, I’ve got to tell you something." Joey bit on her lower lip, trying to find a way to ease into this conversation.

"Ohh, you flunked out of school. How sad. Death of a dream and all that." It was an ill attempt at joking, but Audrey couldn’t help it.

Suddenly the tension in the room became almost too much to bear. Both girls staring at each other, knowing that the next few moments would most probably be uncomfortable. Just the opening ‘I’ve got to tell you something’ indicated that the something couldn’t be good, at least experience told you that. People never used that phrase to convey a positive message.

"Umm, no." Joey ran her hand over her face. Apparently she hadn’t gotten better when it came to confrontations. Something deep inside her wished to just run away from it, but she didn’t listen. She was through with running, in the end things got only worse if she left them unsolved.

Taking a deep breath Joey stepped back to her bed and sat down. "I planned on picking you up at the airport tomorrow, because I really missed you and I... well, I didn’t want you to come back to a half deserted room without some premonition."

"Okay... you know, I missed you, too, Joey. But right now, I’m not so sure what to think, really." Audrey sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah, I know." Joey looked down, avoiding Audrey’s questioning glance, before she straightened again. "Umm, well... there’s no easy way to say it so I’ll just say it: Pacey and I, we’re back together, for some time now."

Audrey’s face fell slightly. It shouldn’t surprise her, after all she had known that Pacey still loved her, hell... both still loved each other even though they hadn’t been together, despite everything. She knew it, but the actual fact, that they were together again hurt nevertheless, confirming that she was nothing but an interlude for Pacey and knowing that she never meant so much to anyone.

"Oh. Didn’t waste much time then, did you?"

Joey opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything. Audrey’s remark felt like a verbal slap in the face to her. Probably it was meant as one, too. Her hurt and mortification was obvious.

"It wasn’t like that, Audrey. You’ve been away for a while and you and Pacey were over even long before you left," Joey reminded her calmly. As much as she could understand her friend in this situation, she couldn’t stay silent at her accusation.

"Yeah, right. That’s why you never called, huh?" Audrey crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"No," shaking her head firmly Joey continued, "I did call, but they said you weren’t allowed to have contacts outside of the rehab. And you know that, too."

"Funny thing then that Dawson managed to visit me, isn’t it? I would say that a personal visit is much more of an outside-contact, don’t you think?" Her tone was aggressive and Audrey knew that Joey was right. Of course she was right, but at this moment she didn’t want to be rational.

Joey pressed her lips together, as her hands fiddled with the bobbles that were attached to her scarf. She didn’t know that Dawson had visited Audrey in L.A. and it took a moment to digest that information. After all it wasn’t important. No matter why or when Dawson saw her, it wasn’t her business. In fact, why shouldn’t they meet?

"Well, I don’t know. Maybe their policy regarding visitors is different than theirs regarding just callers? That’s not the point anyway. I tried to call you, but even if I could have talked with you... I wouldn’t have said anything over the phone."

Audrey nodded sarcastically, but before she said anything, Joey started to speak again. "And that would have been for the very reason, that I knew it would hurt you. Just like it does right now. There was no use in upsetting you while you were in rehab. You had serious issues to deal with and it wouldn’t have been good for you to confront you with our relationship."

"How considerate of you. What makes you think it would be okay for me now?" Audrey was still wearing her coat and got uncomfortably warm. Maybe it wasn’t the coat, though. Maybe it was the simple anger that was building up inside her.

"Nothing. But we don’t want to hide and you have a right to know... just like I had a right to know about you and Pacey last year."

This time Audrey averted her eyes from Joey. Strike two. Again she was right. If she was thinking about it, rationally, there was absolutely no reason to be angry at them. Pacey and Joey were an item long before she met either of them. They never parted in that sense and she was the one who came between them, maybe that wasn’t really true, but nevertheless Pacey had been Joey’s boyfriend before he became hers. She was one of the rebound girls... nothing new there either.

"Yeah, whatever," she managed to reply. "And now you’re moving out of the dorm to live with Pacey?" she couldn’t help but ask, although she thought that Joey would maybe move in with Jen. Pacey wasn’t eager to ‘move in together’, they had talked about that.

"Actually... yes. Pacey asked me to move in to the apartment. And I did, last weekend," Joey admitted quietly.

Swallowing hard, Audrey tilted her head to the side. There was really nothing left to say after that. It seemed like Pacey just didn’t want to move in with anybody else other than Joey. Joey, his Joey. It has always been Joey and it probably would always be just her.

"I see." Audrey’s tone was strangely unemotional, like she wasn’t even listening to what Joey said, like she didn’t care anymore.

"Audrey..." Joey frowned, not knowing what to say. It was a bad situation and if she were in Audrey’s shoes, she would definitely hate herself now – at least for a while.

"Yeah, well... that’s it then, I guess. Thank you for this nice Welcome Home." Audrey stood up, shed her coat and walked over to the window, staring outside and wishing that Joey would leave her alone soon. She needed to be alone.

"I’m sorry." Joey stood up and took a few tentative steps in Audrey’s direction, before stopping again.

"Good luck."

"Audrey, I know you probably won’t believe me, or you don’t care... but…" Joey finally closed the distance between them and stood next to her by the window. "I love you... and I’m really happy that you’re, well... that you got better again and that you came back to Boston. Our friendship means a lot to me."

Joey watched Audrey clenching her jaw and crossing her arms again.

"I don’t know if I even like you right now," Audrey replied honestly, not looking at Joey.

"I understand." Joey nodded. She had expected this reaction, but she was still taken aback. "But... even if you don’t like me or Pacey now... don’t forget that there are still many people here who miss you."

Audrey turned farther away from her, fully facing the window and clearly not wanting to continue a conversation of any kind.

Joey lowered her eyes to the floor, staring blindly at her shoes, before finally stepping back. For the time being, there was nothing left to say. Audrey was hurt and didn’t want to talk to her. Silently she placed one of the flyers that announced the Boston Bay Loveline event, the one Jen helped to organize, on Audrey’s bed. Maybe, just maybe she would be interested in that. She hoped she would be.

Stopping again at her old bed, Joey glanced at Audrey’s silhouette for a last time and eventually hoisted the box up. It was time to go.

After she closed the door behind her, Joey leaned against the wall. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. Maybe it had all been a little too much and there was no way she would go to class now, she was late anyway. There were more important things than that.

As soon as she heard the door close, Audrey rested her forehead against the cool window pane. The tears she had desperately forced not to fall, finally ran down her face. Maybe she should have stayed in California for another day.

~*~

"Do we really have to go there?" Pacey groaned and loosened his tie.

"Yes, we have to." Closing the Word document she had been staring at for far too long, Joey turned away from the computer and faced Pacey. "Jen was already in the stage of hyperventilating when she called again this morning and really needs our support. Especially now since..." Joey’s voice trailed off, not knowing if she was allowed to talk about it.

"Especially since what?" Pacey hadn’t missed the shadow of a frown that swept over her face. "Is it Grams?" he added anxiously.

"Umm, no... I mean, of course that’s one thing, but..." Joey sighed and played nervously with a strand of her hair, still debating with herself if Jen would be angry for telling Pacey or not. Probably not, at least not really.

"When she called this afternoon she told me that she broke up with CJ."

"Oh." Pacey sat down on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt. "Where did that come from?"

Joey shrugged and moved over to him, occupying his lap as she snuggled into his embrace. It might have been a little foolish, but she had missed him so much over the day. "I guess she has so much on her plate with Grams and school right now and she doesn’t want to bother him with that or she doesn’t want to chain him down with responsibilities he never signed up for."

Pacey wrapped his arms around her, drawing her even closer to him and kissed her neck lightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"CJ is a good guy. As far as I can see it? He loves Jen and you know, if you love someone, it doesn’t matter what happens. You just want to be there for them. It’s not a question of what you might have signed up for or not." Pacey whispered and stroked Joey’s hair. "Why is it that women just don’t get that?" he added lightly but thought about how Joey used to push everyone away. Jen did the same now.

"Yeah, but if you love someone, you don’t want to burden them with something like that. You don’t want them to suffer or..." Joey muttered.

"Jo, I told you that before. You love someone, you want to be with them. And as cheesy as those wedding vows are, they have a meaning. For better, for worse... in sickness and in health. That’s the whole point about love and a true relationship."

"What have I done to deserve you, sweetheart?" Joey drew back and cradled Pacey’s face with her hands.

Pacey chuckled and kissed her. "You love me," he whispered against her lips.

"That easy?" Joey smiled, never losing their contact.

"Ah... I don’t know if that’s so easy... I mean, you know...there have been times... "

"Shhh.... no delving in the past. Remember? And it has always been that easy to love you." Joey silenced him with another kiss.

~*~

"Okay, now that you’ve dragged me to this cringe-making event... please promise me that we won’t get involved any further than being just present to show Jen our support, please?" Pacey begged almost anxiously as they arrived at Boston Bay.

"Since when have we ever put ourselves into the foreground like that? And since when was I ever eager to talk about anything sexual... especially in public for crying out loud?" Joey rolled her eyes. There was absolutely no way she would participate in an open and public discussion – slash – talk show – slash advice – session.

"Oh well, stranger things have happened. A certain dance in high school comes to my mind..." Pacey smirked, but the smile left his face gradually when he remembered that the evening ended not so happily for either of them.

"Oh please, you can’t compare these two things." Shaking her head, Joey slipped out of her coat and Pacey immediately helped her. "Thank you." Joey smiled and tilted her head as another memory came to her mind. "Remember when you told me, that AJ would help me putting on my coat just so he could touch me?"

"Yes I do, although I conveniently forgot college boy’s name." Pacey sighed. Why had he started this little trip down Memory Lane again?

"You did, huh?" Joey turned around and stepped in front of him. "Selective memory, I know. You said something like that back in the Kmart.... what was it?" tilting her head she pretended having to think about it before continuing, "Right, you chose to ignore my small, but still too high number of relationships with other men."

Pacey closed his eyes. Of course she had to bring that up, hadn’t she? Straightening uncomfortably, because he was actually very happy with the ability to forget about those four men, or rather two, since she confided in him that there had never been anything serious or physical with Wilder or Charlie, he muttered, "You are mean, you know that?"

"Me? No, never." Joey grinned and let her tongue purposefully show behind her teeth. She knew what it did to him and she loved it. It was her counterpart to his oh-so-turning-her-knees-into-jelly-smile, and if she combined it with a little flip of her hair and a certain blink of her eyes... it turned into payback to his blue-eyes-sparkling-with-laughter-and-love-and-pure-lust-expression.

Pacey groaned. He knew it was a bad idea to go to this sex-discussion, which couldn't disguise itself behind the nice 'Boston Bay Loveline Night' mask. "See, I knew we should've stayed at home. You're getting awfully feisty here... and you never know when ‘other Joey’ strikes again."

"You love ‘other Joey’... actually, you created her." Joey pouted.

"I do. Love. Other. Joey." Pacey lowered his head and whispered accentuated into her ear, "But I prefer not to share her with the public... I’m selfish like that." Leaning even closer he nibbled on her earlobe, his warm breath causing shivers to run down her spine. "What do you say, you, me and ‘other Joey’ disappear from here before anybody sees us, go home and take advantage of a deserted apartment and continue with our christening mission?"

Joey closed her eyes and felt her heartbeat quicken. Just the tone of his voice, the huskiness and deep timbre were enough to give in to his suggestion. It was hard not to give in to him in these situations. Even back in high school when he teased her about having some fun in the boiler room.... she had almost agreed.

"Ummm...." she started to accept as a voice brought her out of her reverie.

~*~

"Joey, Pacey... there you are!" Jack grinned and put his arms on their shoulders. "I have your tickets here. You’re going to sit in the front with us, right? Jen will need us out there."

"Front?" Pacey raised one eyebrow doubtfully and shook his head slowly. Sitting in the front was a bad idea, just as it had been back in high school.

Elbowing him slightly into his ribs, Joey frowned and turned to Jack. "Where is she?"

"Backstage, talking with CJ, which wasn’t going too well when I left them there, and..." Jack paused and sighed. Right then he felt like being in one boat with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla. Why did he always have to be some sort of mediator in their little circle? "Ummm, well... when I left... Audrey came running up."

"Audrey?" Joey asked, biting her lip. "How... I mean... how is she?"

Pacey tightened his arm around Joey’s waist, trying to offer some silent comfort while he felt the same uneasiness.

"I honestly don’t know. I haven’t really talked to her." Jack let his arms slip from their shoulders and shrugged. "She looked good, well... she looks like her usual bubbly self. Could be of course all due to her obvious infatuation with Dr. Drew. At least she was interrogating Jen about him the second she came into earshot.

"I know, she is addicted to Loveline... that’s why I left the flyer there." A tiny smile flitted over Joey’s face.

David waved wildly, motioning for Jack to come back to him and Jack excused himself with a smile, but not without reminding them, "Front, left side. See you later."

~*~

Sitting in the front, especially together with the complicated composition their intimate circle found itself in, proved to be a very bad idea. If it hadn’t been as depressing as it was, Pacey would have mouthed a cocky ‘Told you so’ to Joey.

Actually everything had gone from uncomfortable to worse in only a matter of minutes.

Joey insisted on obliging Jack’s wish to meet in the designated area. CJ was already there, cowering sulkily on his chair, and they had taken the seats next to him. Of course they saved the rest of the row for their friends. Which proved to be the next wrong choice.

Jack and Audrey were the next to appear and Jack, being Jack, deliberately urged Audrey to walk in front of him as she continued to gush over Dr. Drew. She didn’t notice that he was forcing her to sit next to Pacey. A move he was cursed for by everyone involved.

The next disaster came unexpectedly and much sooner than anybody would have guessed. David had met one of his professors and took the chance to talk to him about an upcoming paper, thus he was late and sent Jack and Audrey on their way, promising to follow tout de suite. Only he didn’t and instead of him, a fleeting acquaintance of Jack, named Fred, appeared. Not thinking about possible consequences, Jack offered him the seat to his right, which happened to be the last free seat. Of course David arrived just in time for their friendly exchange and the start of the show balked Jack from running after him.

To top it all off, things continued to go sour when exactly what Jen had feared happened. Nobody in the sold out auditorium dared to pose the first question.

The stress and embarrassment on Jen’s face was visible for everyone. Audrey offered herself in a very importunate way, but instead of her, CJ moved to the podium, trying to figure out Jen’s reason for the break-up in front of everyone.

Their row began to thin out in an alarming speed when Jen surrendered her hosting duties to Audrey and Jack finally raced outside to go and find David.

Pacey sunk deeper and deeper in his seat, wishing Joey and himself were once again back to their cherished solitude on board of the True Love. The last thing missing was Audrey trying to confront them, but God or whoever it was you believed in finally showed some understanding and spared them.

~*~

"Now that was just... awful." Pacey groaned as they left for the so called after party, or simply the private round-up of the evening in Hell’s Kitchen.

"It was, huh?" Joey agreed and rested her head on his shoulder. "But we’re still going to meet them. Why is that?" she tried to joke, but neither felt like laughing.

"Must be the Capside Curse, we’re just gluttons for punishment and heartache. And of course, we always get ourselves in those situations... over and over..." Pacey replied in an apocalyptic tone.

"And over again." Despite the given circumstances Joey couldn’t help but giggle.

Pacey nodded contently. His mission to make her smile, even just a little, was accomplished – for the time being at least.

Stopping in front of the bar, he kissed Joey’s temple and asked with his lips against her skin, "Ready to face the final credits?"

"Not really... and I really doubt they’ll be final... but anyway, the sooner you get started, the sooner it’s over... right?" she pondered and reached for the door.

"Yeah... maybe... in another universe." Pacey muttered to himself and followed her into Hell’s Kitchen. The name never fitted as good as in that moment.

~*~

Jen and CJ sat at their usual table, apparently the fronts were straightened and Loveline’s duo had worked their magic on them.

"Hey, you two," Joey greeted them and hugged Jen, whispering into her ear, "I told you CJ is one of the few good guys."

"Yeah, but he sucks at his grand romantic gestures... I mean, please... dragging our problems into the public like that. Maybe Pacey could teach him in that area." Jen eyed the two men, who where talking animatedly.

"Well, Pacey does have a thing for public declarations as well." Joey chuckled.

"He does, huh? Let’s see... kissing you at the side of the street, painting a hastily but adoringly SOS on a wall downtown, beating up Matt Caulfield on the school’s parking ground – in front of our principal nevertheless, practicing extensive foreplay on various dance floors..." Jen enumerated, highly amused.

"Uh-huh... you can add a quickie in his office to that list, too," Joey whispered secretly. She was happy to see her friend so relaxed again.

Jen’s eyes widened. "No, really? Joey, Joey... never thought you were into that."

"What can I say... I’ve been corrupted by my boyfriend... and by a certain blonde girl from New York, who told me all about her various encounters, in bathrooms, swimming pools and..." Joey grinned devilishly.

"Oh good... want to go shopping with me? You know, make-up sex and all..." Jen quipped but became serious again, "…besides that, I could use you to spend some time with me while Grams is in her treatment tomorrow."

"Sure. I’d love that." Joey squeezed Jen’s hand.

"Aww, now what do we have here? Two adoringly sweet couples..." Audrey commented snidely and slid on a barstool on the other side of the table. "Where’s Jack and his beau? Or couldn’t he make up his mind, seeing that we have another possible triangle there."

Four pairs of eyes silently eyed her and Joey and Pacey exchanged a quick glance. Welcome back to hell.

"Jack’s gone over to David’s. And there’s no triangle there whatsoever," Jen stated pointedly.

"Fine, fine... good for them." Audrey trailed her eyes over the familiar faces, yet nothing was as it was when she left for California those long weeks ago.

"You did a great job with hosting tonight," Joey told her quietly.

"Oh well, I guess I should thank you for leaving that flyer yesterday." Audrey crossed her arms in front of her chest and rocked forward, propping her elbows on the wooden surface of the table. "That was a nice farewell present."

"Audrey..." Joey tried to explain that it wasn’t meant like that, but Audrey silenced her with a wave of her hand.

"Uh, no. Don’t. I’m still not in the mood for a conversation like that. I’m only here to thank Jen for letting me take over and giving me chance to meet Dr. Drew. They’ll be here in a little while. Anyway... thanks, Jen." Audrey smiled at Jen.

"Welcome. You kinda saved me there," Jen returned with a smile. She felt for Audrey. It wasn’t easy to be her and to return to find Joey and Pacey reunited.

"Nah, that was just my big mouth and fateful attraction to men in white coats." Audrey shrugged and hopped off the stool. "I see there’s a new bartender around, gotta introduce myself."

Pacey frowned and watched Audrey heading over to the bar. Joey followed his gaze, equally worried. Moving her eyes back to him she nodded and Pacey sent her a grateful smile. He couldn’t help himself. He still cared for Audrey and just wanted to make sure she didn’t do something that could destroy the whole energy she had put into her rehab.

"Fatal attraction to men in white coats, huh?" he asked softly as he leaned with his back against the bar, facing her.

"Pacey." Audrey sighed and blew some air out. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just talking to you, ask how you’ve been... how you are," Pacey offered honestly.

"Why? We were over before I went to California and you didn’t exactly cry a river for me. How long did it take to go back to the love of your life?" Audrey didn’t want to discuss anything with Pacey, just as she didn’t want to talk to Joey. It was way too soon for that.

"Right, we were over with being a couple, but we’ll never be over as friends, Audrey," Pacey declared, trying to make her understand that they cared deeply about her.

"Why does that scare me? The Capeside definition of ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’ is really creepy if you think about it. All of you are so busy with trying to remain friends, no matter what happened, no matter who fucked whom, who used drugs, who betrayed or had secrets. I just don’t get it, how you can still stand each other. It’s like a sick twist of Carpenter’s Village of the Damned."

"Well, looks like you definitely spend a lot of time with Capeside’s movie pro," Pacey stated calmly. "And to answer your question, nobody said friendships were easy. Everyone makes mistakes all the time. Not giving up on what you have or had, wanting to be in each other’s lives despite everything that might have gone wrong? That’s friendship, Audrey. Not a superficial pretending."

"Joey told you about Dawson’s visits then. Can’t say I’m surprised there, but no, I came up with that realization all by myself. And pretending, Pacey?" Audrey reached for her colorful drink, that the new man behind the counter placed in front of her, and sucked on the pink straw to stress her point. "Why don’t you cut the chit-chat and say what you really want to say? You can’t stop being the knight in shining armor, can you? You only came over here to check if I was drinking something alcoholic, to check if I was drowning myself in sorrow about the reunion of our star-crossed lovers. I can calm your nerves: this is nothing but a harmless fruit cocktail... and if it weren’t?" Audrey shrugged and set the tumbler back down. "It’s none of your business. I don’t need you to be my hero."

Pacey opened his mouth, wanting to rectify Audrey’s idea about his intentions, but she suddenly pushed herself away from the bar, eyeing the door.

"As much fun as this little talking in platitudes is... my party just arrived. Bye, Pacey." Without another word she walked over to Dr. Drew and his partner, placing light kisses on their cheeks.

Pacey watched her go with a sad expression on his face. Maybe the Capeside curse was really a blessing.

~*~

A little while later, Joey and Pacey excused themselves and returned home. The mood had suffered during the evening, but they refused to let it get to them. Some things couldn’t be helped and some things would just need a little time.

"You know, as bad as this evening was... it gave me an idea for my paper." Joey kicked her shoes of and got comfortable on the chair at their writing desk.

"You didn’t finish that already? I thought you said it was due tomorrow?" Pacey raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That’s so un-Joey like."

"Well, I didn’t know what to write until now. And there are other things besides school." Joey shrugged and turned the computer on.

"Huh? What did you just say?" Pacey walked over and touched her forehead with his palm. "No fever. Strange, what have you done with Josephine Potter and who are you?"

"I just re-evaluated my priorities."

"I like that." Pacey grinned and kissed her shoulder. "We’ll have to talk about our mutual new-found priorities some more... after you finished your assignment."

"Yeah, we should do that." Joey raised her arm and caressed Pacey’s cheek, moving her fingertips around to the soft hairs on the nape of his neck. "It shouldn’t take long. You know, once the inspiration and muse have found common ground, the words just flow."

"You should consider being a writer since you’re already sounding like one." Pacey chuckled and dropped another kiss on her head. "Take your time. I have to look through some things for the firm, too."

Joey smiled and watched him stretch out on their bed as he opened one of the many files he brought home from the office, before turning her attention back to the screen and started typing.

About one hour later Joey clicked the save-button for the final time and then sent the file to the printer, reading it again as the device snorkeled and put her words on paper.

What is Love – an essay on Geoffrey Chaucer’s Parliament of Fowles by Josephine Potter

There were definitely more than four kinds of love and one thing she was sure about was, that love could come in any imaginable and unimaginable form, always surprising, sometimes overwhelming and sometimes you didn’t even know it. Destructive, sure. The very thing that made you feel alive, definitely. And never something you should take for granted.

Shutting down the computer and placing the pages of her work in a folder, Joey switched the light off and turned around.

Pacey had fallen asleep, his head leaned against two cushions, the file still in his hands.

Joey moved over to him, trying to avoid any noise and carefully tugged on the dossier he had been reading, placing it on his nightstand.

"Love you," she whispered and kissed his lips lightly, not wanting to wake him up, and settled down next to him.

A happy smile spread over Pacey’s sleeping features, as if he had heard her and he shifted around, throwing his arm over her stomach and drawing her closer to him.

Who cared that they didn’t undress? Joey ran her fingertips over his hand and switched the last lamp out.

~*~

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