Two days. Forty-eight hours and counting.

Pacey sat on his couch and stared at the newly acquired Bertha Jr. He constantly flipped channels without really looking at what flickered over the large screen. The hands of his watch were far more interesting, although they annoyed him with their slow motion. He could swear they didn’t move at all but were just laughing at him.

Two days since he had seen Joey. They had talked on the phone, of course, ... hours to be correct, but that wasn’t enough. Now he was waiting, waiting for her shift to end.

Two days and a few hours since they had been locked in the K-Mart, two days since they first gave themselves a second chance. They did, didn’t they?

"Trouble is you could only marry one of us," the man in an old fashioned movie said nonchalantly to an invisible woman.

Somehow this sentence did the trick. Pacey supported himself by propping one hand on the backrest of the couch, stepped with his right foot on the seat and jumped easily over it. He walked straight to the kitchen window and almost forcefully hiked the blinds up, before opening it slightly and peeking through the chink.

It had to be fate that the apartment was facing Hell’s Kitchen. He could see people walking in and out, but none of them were Joey. He pondered their conversation from the afternoon while staring at the bar.

Finally after two days they had time and were free to meet after Joey’s shift. He had offered to pick her up, but she refused. Working at a bar often entailed the possibility of working overtime, for example if the next shift staff came too late, or if you had to do the final account. Additionally his apartment was just on the other side of the street, so what were the chances that something could happen to her? She said it would be more comfortable for him to relax a little at home instead of hanging around at a crowded, loud bar and wasting his time.

Hours ago he thought it might indeed be better to sit at home, but that had changed with each passing second he actually had to wait since he came home.

A smile spread across his face as he decided to ignore her suggestion and walk over to her. He couldn’t wait any longer. Flipping the TV off he grabbed his leather jacket and headed for the door.

~*~

Joey climbed the stairs to Pacey’s apartment. She was out of breath and leaned against the wall opposite of his door. She needed to calm down before knocking. There was no way she’d let him see her in this worked up and flustered state. It wasn’t only because of the fact that she had been running from the bar and up the stairs, climbing two steps at the same time, no. Actually her heart had raced like mad for two days and some hours. Maybe, if she could stop her brain from spinning, she would even be able to tell the exact seconds since this strange electricity ran through her veins. A power which brought her to life, the same power that awakened her three years ago, or was it four years ago? And when she lost it for two years, well...she turned back into a shell that housed a computerized version of her former self.

She just wasn’t used to being alive anymore, thus her breath had a lot to catch up to.

Taking a deep breath she straightened her ponytail, smoothed her coat and pushed herself towards the door. She raised her hand and realized it was shaking... badly. Joey let her hand sank down again. How could she be that nervous? It was just Pacey after all.

Joey licked her dry lips as her last thought permeated not only her brain but also her heart and she realized what was wrong with it. Pacey had never been ‘just Pacey’, not once did this adverb fit him. Not when they were only banter partners, not when they looked behind their hardly penetrable facades and slowly started to discover all the well hidden traits and things their personalities consisted of, especially not when the sparks started to fly and kindled a fire that turned into a conflagration, destructive sometimes but always embellishing their lives, her life, and most importantly unquenchable.

She had told him once that he, that his touch, his presence made her feel alive. When they were torn apart for so many reasons, which in retrospect seemed to be inane and inconsequential, she continued to live even though it was a life less worth living. For some time now all the buried but never forgotten emotions came rushing back to her and for the past two days her senses and every fiber of her body were pulsating with life. She wasn’t used to it anymore and she was literally aching to let him soothe and fuel her needs.

He wasn’t ‘just’ Pacey, he was special, unique and above all he was her true reason to live.

"Great, now I turn into a breathing and walking romance novel of the worst kind," amused Joey shook her head and reached out to finally knock on the door she had spent decidedly too much time in front of. Her hand was still trembling, but now she was sure it was out of anticipation.

~*~

Pacey struggled to put his jacket on with one hand while the other opened the door and was stopped short when his chest nearly connected with Joey’s outstretched hand.

His eyes widened in surprise and he could only stare at her. She looked so beautiful, her face was slightly flushed and her eyes were sparkling. The grin she desperately tried to hide told him, that he had to be offering a very amusing sight. Admittedly his position was bordering on ridiculous, one hand in the sleeve one hand now hovering in midair and he knew he was staring.

Joey waved uncertainly and finally settled with aiming for brushing her hair back, momentarily forgetting that it was firmly tucked away in a ponytail. At least Pacey seemed to be as nervous as she was and a small smile formed on her lips.

Clearing her throat she was the first to break the expectation filled silence, "Bad timing? ... You’re on your way out?"

Pacey shifted his weight and smiled. "Uh, no. It’s ... cosmic timing. I was on my way to see you."

"Really?" Joey raised her eyebrow. Yes, he was nervous and obviously as antsy as she was to see each other. He had probably been on his way to walk over to the bar.

"Yeah. I was, uh....hoping that we could stand awkwardly in the doorway, which ...uh, is working out perfectly for me." Pacey knew that he was caught. Her knowing smile told him that she knew he had been on his way to pick her up.

"Hmmm, that’s too bad, because I was really hoping to spend my evening somewhere else..." Joey saw his face falling a little and added quickly, "... maybe like inside your apartment?"

For a second Pacey feared she had changed her mind about them, but then his smile returned full force. "Great idea," stepping back he let her enter the apartment and kicked the door close.

Joey watched Pacey close the door, unable to move any further away from him. He wore the navy V-neck pullover she had given him for Christmas. She always associated every shade of blue with his eyes and couldn’t resist buying it as she espied it in the display of a GAP store.

Pacey noticed that Joey was absorbed in thoughts and softly touched her shoulder as he walked up behind her. The light touch startled her a bit and she shivered when she felt his breath against her neck.

"Can I get that for you?" Pacey whispered and helped Joey to discard her coat.

"Umm, sure... thank you."

Pacey threw her coat and his jacket on the couch without moving away from her. As soon as his hands were free they gently rubbed her arms. Joey leaned back into his chest and rested her head against his shoulder. Her eyes fell shut and she instantly relaxed in his embrace.

"How was your day?" he asked pulling her closer and kissing her temple.

Joey sighed and tilted her head to keep the contact to his cheek. "To tell the truth? First Hetson made me an offer that I can’t possible refuse, because he reminded me of my not so brilliantly presentation of ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’..."

"What? You didn’t follow my advise?"

"You mean throwing ‘postmodernist’ and ‘subjectivity’ into one sentence?" Joey laced her hand with his and felt him nod behind her. "I did that... and maybe your theory would have worked out fine... in high school, but my professor dearest wanted to know a little more," she blushed as she remembered the embarrassing situation in class when he laughed at her and the fact that he had caught her being unprepared.

"I’m sorry. What does he want?" Pacey questioned and nuzzled her neck.

"Me babysitting his teenage daughter under the pretext of giving her extra tuition." Joey turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Well, that isn’t that bad now, huh? I mean, Joey Potter lives to educate poor, failing students..." Pacey brushed his nose against hers, remembering various occasions where she had tutored himself back in school.

Joey shrugged and gazed into his eyes. "But ... ah, forget it. And then? This afternoon was right out of a waitress’ worst nightmare. ... How was your day?" she really didn’t want to talk about her job right then.

"Too long, boring and filled with waiting." Pacey chuckled.

"Waiting?" Joey smirked.

"That were very long two days, don’t you think?" he asked searching her eyes.

"Yeah..." Joey wound a small strand of Pacey’s hair around her finger, reveling in the fact that she could play with it again. "Too long."

"Way too long." Pacey licked his lips and his voice was barely audible as he greeted her properly, "Hi."

"Hi," Joey moistened her lips and felt her heart beat high in her throat.

Pacey lowered his head and brushed his lips tentatively over hers. He wasn’t sure how far this kiss would go but as he felt her response to him, it was all the invitation he needed. The tip of his tongue slowly trailed over the lines of her lips, teasing her, begging her to open her mouth to him.

Joey complied quickly and followed his lead. Their tongues danced and dueled with each other, re-conquering the familiar territories.

What had started as a soft and cautious kiss, turned more and more passionate and demanding and Pacey knew that he had to stop before the small rest of self-restraint he had left would be thrown out of the window. No matter how much he wanted to ignore the small voice of rationality inside his head and throw Joey on the couch to have his way with her, he wouldn’t give in to those animalistic needs, not yet, not so soon.

Placing a last soft kiss on her lips he drew back and studied her eyes that flew open upon the loss of contact. He could see her desire in them and a sparkle and light, he’d love to believe was only for him and nobody else. Before backing away from her he kissed her cheek and turned towards the counter.

"Uh... can I get you anything? Something to drink, maybe? Or are you... umm... hungry?" he ran his hand through his hair, where he could still feel Joey’s fingertips.

"Umm... a coke, maybe... if you have one?" Joey hopped on one of the barstools.

"Sure." Pacey reached into the fridge and poured them two glasses of Cola. Putting one down in front of her he remained on the other side of the counter. He needed the space between them, otherwise they would undoubtedly end up right on the couch.

Pacey watched Joey tracing her fingertip over the rim of her glass. He could tell she wanted to talk about something, but didn’t know how to start. She bit down on her lower lip before looking at him again.

"What is it, Jo?"

Joey smiled. Of course he would know that she was up to something. He always did.

"You know, I... over these past two days... I was thinking and...maybe, no, not maybe... actually I’m thinking about it for a while now. I never really stopped..." she sighed shaking her head softly.

"You’re rambling, Potter. Breathe." Pacey reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. Squeezing it reassuringly he waited for her to continue.

Again a lopsided smile appeared on Joey’s face. Caressing Pacey’s wrist with her thumb she started again.

"You don’t regret it, do you? I mean, after our kiss right now... do you?"

Pacey bent forward, raised their hands and kissed her knuckles lightly. "No, I don’t regret anything...and I hope that you don’t regret anything either?"

"No. How could I? I told you I’ve been thinking about the... possibility for some time, more often then before." Joey took a sip from her glass, never letting go of Pacey’s hand.

"Really?" Pacey questioned. He had been thinking about it, too, but had pushed those thoughts away more than once because he was afraid.

Joey nodded. "But then, reality, or rather the concept of our reality..." her voice trailed off, "It just doesn’t normally work out like I’d want it to... and you can’t cheat on reality."

"What do you mean?" he raised one eyebrow questioningly. He had a vague idea of what she was talking about, but still he had to ask.

"Do you remember reading those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books as a kid?" Joey licked her lips nervously.

"Well...," Pacey chuckled, "You and I both know that I was pretty much a functional illiterate until the ninth grade. So, no... not really."

"Yeah, right." Joey chuckled as well. "I did, but... I cheated on them. Whenever a chapter wasn’t going the way I wanted, I wouldn’t even finish. I would just go back to the beginning until... I got a happy ending."

"Everybody does that, Jo," he looked at their still laced hands.

"Yeah, I know,... but it’s not exactly the most realistic way to live your life. In reality..., as much as I wish I could sometimes, ... I can’t just go back to the where it started to go wrong and... choose differently. I can’t take it back once it’s done. I can’t undo my mistakes." The corners of her mouth started to tremble and she had to look down. The only thing that kept her from falling apart right then was holding on to Pacey’s hand.

Pacey swallowed. She was afraid, just like he was. Once they said they could be scared together. Maybe it was time to be afraid together.

"What makes you think that one false move is gonna ruin our entire story?" his voice was soft and serious at the same time.

Joey pursed her lips in order to get the word out without choking. "History."

"That was then. Joey..." he moved closer and lifted her chin with his free hand, gently forcing her to look into his eyes. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears and he found it difficult to stop his own eyes from tearing over. Maybe this was the most important conversation in his whole life. They just had to get it right. He moved his hand higher up and cupped her cheek. "...I’m serious. We’re older now... and I do believe that you can learn from history. That’s the whole reason of history. I mean, it’s not like I’m just gonna run out the door if I don’t like your choice." Pacey cleared his throat.

"Okay, well... if that’s what you think...what are you afraid of?" she hadn’t missed the small hint of pain flickering in his blue eyes.

Pacey took a deep breath before he answered her. "I’m afraid of...that the whole... possibility thing is really just a mean trick. Like a dream and ... the moment you think it’s true... you wake up and ... the dream is gone." There, he had said it.

"See?" Joey sighed and reluctantly stood up, breaking their contact. "I don’t like this chapter. It’s too negative." She didn’t really want to let go of Pacey’s hand, but she was afraid he could feel how cold her hand had just become. She walked over to the couch and sat on its back.

Pacey tilted his head and followed her. He wasn’t about to drop this. He had felt her hand turn cold in his and he knew that she was anxious for what he would say next. He pulled her vacated barstool over and sat down in front of her.

Joey searched Pacey’s eyes and spread her legs a little so that he could move closer to her. He accepted her silent invitation but allowed them some personal space and folded his arms around the backrest of the stool.

"Maybe a chapter seems to be negative... but if you don’t follow through with it... you’ll never know how it turns out," he paused and waited for her to make eye-contact. "I thought being locked in a K-Mart was a pretty negative thing... but look where it got us."

Joey smiled a little. He was right.

Pacey returned her smile and continued, "I guess, maybe... I’m just trying to play out all the worst case scenarios here, because... that you and I...I hope, that we have grown enough to be together without always having to replay our history. ‘Cause..." he propped his hands on the couch on either side of her, "...I’d really like to look into our future."

"You want a clean slate." Joey stated more than she was asking him.

Pacey shook his head slightly. "Well... yes and no. I don’t want to erase our history. I just don’t want my prior offenses being held against me." He held her gaze. They’d never talked about their break-up, never addressed all the feelings they had and it was mostly his fault, because first he left her and then he fled on a yacht straight to the Caribbean.

Joey understood what he was referring to without actually saying it. She had broken their physical contact and now she restored it. Just like he had done a few minutes before she put her hands on his cheek, simply holding him.

"Pace... I... we agree that you and I have, umm... you know, said things... and done things that we...regret, but...we’ve changed, haven’t we?"

Pacey leaned into her touch, feeling relieved. "Yeah, yeah..."

Both sighed. They had finally closed the door to a piece of history that had hurt them for far too long. Joey bent forward and rested her forehead against his.

"Where do we go from here?" Joey whispered pulling back a little.

"Well, where do you want us to go?" he opened his eyes. He needed to hear her say that she wanted to look at their future together just like he did.

"I... I want to be with you. I want to see what the future, our future together is like." After saying this she exhaled, releasing a breath she had been holding for days.

"That’s where we’re going, Jo." Pacey’s whole face lit up. She had said it. "See, that chapter wasn’t so bad after all, was it?" They were so close then, that their warm breaths were mingling and their lips were almost touching.

"No, there was a quite positive turning point hidden within." Joey smiled.

Pacey’s smile widened and he slowly moved in for a kiss. Joey’s lips met his halfway and they soon got lost into one another.

A low grumble originating from Pacey’s stomach caused Joey to pull back and giggle. "Are you hungry, Pace?"

Pacey patted his stomach grinning. "Yeah, well... Pizza certainly has a very nice ring to it right now. What do you say?"

"Sounds good to me." Joey watched Pacey get up and reaching for the phone. "And by the way? It only serves my theory that you’re always eating at key moments in our relationship... or at least thinking about eating."

Pacey looked up from the menu of the pizzeria he was calling and winked at her. "I like that combination... ‘our’ and ‘relationship’."

"Me, too," she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, listening to what he was ordering.

~*~

"So that prole de facto paid for a new TV? I never thought he would." Joey readjusted her position on Pacey’s lap so that she could look up at him.

After their pizza was delivered they settled on the couch and Pacey introduced Bertha Jr. to Joey. They surfed the channels like they used to do and finally found a repeat of one of Pacey’s favorite Simpsons episodes.

Pacey tightened his arm around Joey’s waist to hold her in place. For him this was the best evening he had had in a very long time. He felt so at peace and just being home with Joey, watching TV without needing to pretend to be someone he wasn’t... it couldn’t get any better. Well, maybe it could... but that was a whole different story.

"Well, I don’t know if he paid, or his insurance or whatever," he shrugged, "Emma said she would see to it before she left for England. Anyways... comes right after her momma, huh?" Pacey quipped and tickled Joey lightly.

Joey giggled and slapped his hand softly. "Stop it, Witter." She turned her head back towards the gigantic screen, which caused Pacey to sigh. Her little movement wasn’t as innocent as it appeared to be. Joey smiled and stroked his arm that was still holding her securely.

"You know, I’m beginning to understand why you are so infatuated with ... her. It’s nice and spares you the need to go to a movie theater."

"Did you just acknowledge my amazing baby as on of our own and called her by the appropriate pronoun?" Pacey squealed jubilantly which sent Joey right into another fit of giggles.

"Maybe," she calmed down after a few seconds. "Well, Pace... now what does that make me? A mother of what, two electronic and motorized babies of yours?"

"That... would be correct, honey." He kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear, "I hope you’ll act according to your motherly duties... you know, they need a lot of loving."

"As long as you know who comes first in this ... family." Joey turned again and snaked her hand around Pacey’s neck, pulling him down to her.

They continued to watch TV but Joey had something else on her mind that she needed to talk about. "Pace?"

"Hmmm?" Pacey diverted his eyes from the screen and faced her as she hesitantly sat up.

"Umm... you said something about learning from history."

"Yeah... right." She had his full attention now.

"Right and... I was thinking..." she paused trying to find the right words. Biting her lips she moved to straddle him. She couldn’t be close enough to him.

Pacey was a little surprised but raised his knees to give her a more comfortable position and waited for her to continue.

"Well, the first time... I mean, when we first... got together... we kept it to ourselves... and it was nice and exciting, but... I can’t help and wonder what would have happened if we had told everyone right away." Joey crossed her hands behind his head.

Pacey inhaled sharply. He had thought about that, too. "What are you saying here, Jo? Do you want to... tell them now, I mean... you know what I mean." True, maybe things would have turned out differently if they hadn’t waited so long to tell their friends about their relationship back in high school. The question was if they should tell them now, right after they were trying their second chance. Somehow he feared the moment they were forced to face the world outside.

"Yeah, I know." Joey kissed the tip of his nose. "We know that we’re back together and that’s basically all we need to know. I mean, it’s none of their business actually... and ... I don’t care what they might have to say about it. I just don’t want to hide like we did back then. I want to be able to kiss you or touch you ... or simply hold your hand no matter where we are and who we are with."

She put him first, she really put him and them first. Their relationship was her priority. Pacey nodded. "I want that, too." He sighed and pulled her closer to him. "Although I won’t say it will be all nice and easy... I mean, Jen and Jack..."

"They’ll have a field day." Joey interrupted him, lacing her hand with his again.

"Probably." Pacey chuckled. Jen and Jack had always supported them. He wasn’t worried about their reaction. "But I don’t know about Audrey and ...", he took a deep breaths. He really didn’t want to fall back into the love triangle which by now could be called a square. On the other hand... it was different this time. He has ended things with Audrey, not as soon as he might should have, but he had. And Joey and Dawson, well... they weren’t together and Joey seemed to be very sure of what she wanted. Of course he preferred to forget about what happened on her nineteenth birthday. It wasn’t important anymore.

"And Dawson." Joey finished his sentence. "Audrey, well... I don’t think she will hate us ... and she’ll understand."

"She was right after all." Pacey trailed small circles on Joey’s back. Both remembered the Christmas dinner from hell, where Audrey threw uncomfortable truths at most of them right before crashing Pacey’s new car into the Leery’s porch. "Not to mention that those three are constantly around us... so they’ll know soon enough... Dawson on the other hand..." Pacey hated to bring him up but he had to. Dawson was on the other side of the country, most of the time at least. It would be more than convenient to forget about telling him and then they would be back to square one.

"Yeah, well... we’re not talking that much and after the last fiasco which was my attempt to send him an email, I’ll wait until the opportunity arises." Joey recognized the doubt in Pacey’s eyes, "Don’t worry. As soon as I talk to him, he’ll know. Hiding from him and ... lying to him about having sex with you... that was one of the chapters in my book... that I’d never choose again."

Pacey kissed her exposed neck, determinedly not to let his insecurities surface again and he believed her. Somehow he felt this time they were starting under a lucky star for once.

Joey moaned softly as Pacey trailed small kisses up and down her neck and then along her jaw line. Her hands went into his hair and she slid even closer towards him so that their ribcages were touching and not even a sheet of paper would have fit in between them.

Pacey groaned against her neck. She was so close and it had been so long. She sat perfectly still but having her straddle him was enough to cause his jeans to tighten considerably. He had no idea how far or how much they would go and do but that wasn’t important. He was happy with anything right then. She had always been the single ingredient he needed to be happy. He reached up and tugged at the elastic band that was holding her ponytail in place. Finally it relented and he eased it down without causing a painful tug at her hair. Once freed the long strands framed her face and he tangled his hands in them. He had always loved that, feeling her silky hair on his hands, on his skin... it was one thing he had missed so much. Gently guiding her head his mouth captured hers in a searing kiss.

"Stay with me tonight?" he heard himself beg hoarsely.

Joey smiled against his lips and unable to utter even the smallest sound she nodded and returned the heated kiss.

~*~

"I don’t know how I’m supposed to get all of this done till tomorrow morning." Jack whined into his cell phone as he turned the key around and opened the door.

Kicking it close behind him and still holding on to the phone he frowned. The apartment was dark except a bluish shimmer that drifted over from the TV screen. Of course it wasn’t that unusual that the lights were out and that someone was watching TV, what was so extraordinary was, that two shadows, which would have easily passed as a single one, swayed on the couch and induced certain unmistakably sounds, which on the other hand could only be produced by two certain persons, and this was a very remarkable fact, because said people hadn’t engaged in any activity were such sounds could occur in two years.

"Well, that happens if you spent too much time courting that new beau of yours instead of doing your homework, Jack. You don’t want a repeat performance of last year, do you?" Jen sighed. "Jack?"

Jack was too stunned to answer her. Instead he turned around and flipped the island light over the counter on. With its help his eyes could confirm what his ears had told him before.

"I really don’t believe this!" he exclaimed loudly and fell into an unstoppable laughter as two pairs of eyes stared at him like deer caught in a headlight.

"What?... JACK?... What’s going on there?" Jen yelled, but she still got no answer.

"Hi, Jack." Joey greeted their friend sheepishly.

"My, my... Joey... and ... Pacey. I’d like to say that I’m surprised to find both of you here, like that... on our couch, but I can’t." Jack used all the willpower he possessed to get his laughter under control and therefore his expression was rather stoic as he moved over to them and flopped down on the other end of the couch. "Couldn’t you at least have waited till Saturday to jump each other? Two freaking more days?" he asked defeated.

"Hi, Jack... and what about.... bye, Jack?" Pace held Joey tightly right were she was. Of course Jack had to come home to find them like that. Of course he wouldn’t be so subtle and leave them alone.

"Nah... I missed your public displays of affection too much." Jack smirked.

"Your cell is screaming at you, Jack." Joey pointed with her chin towards the tiny phone he was still holding.

"Huh? Oh, yeah... right," he raised the phone but held it a few inches away from his ear.

"Umm, sorry, Jen... and by the way... you’ve won.... again. Guess who’s dryhumping right before my eyes here."

Jen’s victorious scream wafted over them and Jack crunched his face painfully.

"Don’t tell me you two maniacs had a bet going on us...again," Pacey sighed and buried his head in the crook of Joey’s neck.

Jack raised his hands in the air and grinned. "’fraid so. After what you told me, and what Joey told Jen about your night at the K-Mart... we couldn’t resist. And the lovely Miss Lindley just got herself 50 bucks."

Joey opened her mouth and stared at Jack incredulously. "You ... talk about ... what I told Jen...in private?" her eyes widened.

"Sorry." Jack was still grinning.

"Give me that phone!" Joey demanded and extended her arm to grab it from his hand. She was still straddling Pacey and her movement caused Pacey to shiver and he had to close his eyes.

Joey pressed the phone to her ear and hissed, "You perfidious, sneaky hussy! How could you..." Joey was partly annoyed at her disloyalty, on the other hand she couldn’t be mad at her.

While Joey was babbling into the phone, Jack started his own interrogation. "Spill it Pacey, since when are you to together again... since the K-Mart, since today... give me all the details.... and hurry up I need to get as much information as possible so I can at least beat Jen to that," he nodded adamantly, licked his lips and bent forward.

Pacey opened his mouth but decided otherwise and snatched the phone from Joey’s hand.

"Lindley, stop talking. Alright, Jack, Jen... not that it’s your business anyway... Jo and I are back together ... officially since tonight. That’s all you need to know, and all you will hear from us. Basta. Now go and get yourselves some other poor people to entertain with, because Jo and I have different plans," he paused and gazed into Joey’s eyes who smiled at him. "Say goodnight, Jo."

"Goodnight." Joey repeated obediently as Pacey tossed the phone back at Jack who stared at them open-mouthed.

Joey attempted to stand up but Pacey shook his head. "No, Potter. You stay right were you are," stroking her back lovingly he moved one arm under the curve of her ass while the other tightened around her waist and stood up. Joey got the hint and as soon as he was standing, wrapped her legs around his waist.

Without the slightest stumble Pacey crossed the room towards the spiral staircase that led up to his bedroom. Grinning at Jack, Joey waved before nibbling at Pacey’s earlobe.

Slowly closing his mouth, Jack raised the phone again, "Now you’ve just earned yourself another 50 bucks... Mr. Neanderthal is just dragging his prey up to his cavern."

~*~

Pacey’s room was dark and cool. Only the moon cast a silvery light over his bed. Pacey sat down carefully on it, with Joey safely on his lap.

They were silent for a while, just losing themselves in each others eyes.

"This ...umm... doesn’t have to mean that... we... I don’t expect... I just wanted to get away from our way too nosey friends..." Pacey stammered. Now, in the seclusion of his room, their closeness and the heat that constantly rose between them posed a whole lot of different questions.

Joey’s eyes darkened and she licked her suddenly dry lips. "You know, ... I actually liked your little Neanderthal stunt..."she rocked softly against him. She could feel his arousal underneath her and the aching deep inside her core became almost unbearable. She had missed him so much for so long.

She had given her virginity to this gorgeous man, he had been the first who showed her what love really was, he was the first who broke her heart, yet he was the only one she had ever loved, the only one she trusted completely, no matter what happened. Nobody could ever live up to him. She had teased him once, that he might only be the first of a bunch of others... the truth was, that she wanted him to be her first and her last.

The two years they’d lost didn’t matter. They were right where they were supposed to be.

"Jo..." Pacey gripped her hips and involuntary thrust up against her, needing the contact and craving the feeling of intimacy and deep connection he had only ever felt with her. Still he wasn’t sure if they were ready for it so soon. He was afraid they were moving too fast and he knew that if they didn’t stop now, they wouldn’t be able to later. His heart and his mind were on overdrive.

Joey recognized the different emotions that washed over his face. She knew he was afraid to move to fast, afraid they were putting their chance on risk by giving in to their lust and wanting. But like the first time she was sure it was right. And she loved him even more for his concern.

"What do you want, Pace?" she whispered in his ear and placed tiny kisses all over his face.

"Jo..." he tightened his hold on her, "... you know...God... I want to feel you so bad, I ...", he sighed and cupped her face in both hands, "This is too important, Jo... I don’t want to mess this up."

"We won’t mess up, Pace." Joey covered his hands with her own, "I... need you, Pace. And it feels so right, I... we feel so right." Tilting her head to the left she kissed his palm tenderly before a mischievous smile spread over her face. "Don’t tell me you want to wait for nine months again..."

Pacey inhaled and tried to think straight, but he couldn’t find anything to hold out to her. "Are you sure, Jo?" his voice faltered. He had to ask, with her he just had to.

"I’m very sure, Pace." Joey hesitated briefly, "I love you, Pacey."

The last doubts he had melted away like ice in the sunshine. She was his sunshine. "I love you, Joey."

She smiled and kissed him. Pacey’s resistance was broken and suddenly there were way to many clothes in his way. Sliding his hands up her arms he held them above her head and motioned for to keep them up, while his hands traveled back down again, lightly teasing her sensitive sides and finally slipping under her thin shirt.

"How can you keep warm in this flimsy thing?" he wondered almost silently, but she had heard him and giggled softly.

Smiling himself he lifted the shirt inch by inch and kissed and nibbled on every inch of skin he exposed. He felt her breathing hitch and knew that he was driving her insane... and he loved it.

He didn’t know how long it took to move it up and off her body, but when he finally tossed it on the floor her hands eagerly tugged at his pullover and she jerked it over his head, tousling his hear in its wake.

"Impatiently much, Jo?" he grinned trailing his hands along her spine, back to the front and up to her breasts, relearning every curve of her body.

Joey arched her back towards him, as he flicked his thumbs over her already engorged nipples and teased them with his teeth through the thin material of her bra.

"Take it off, Pace," she begged and he did in one swift movement.

Joey blushed as she felt his eyes on her, as he cupped her exposed breasts and kissed the tender skin. It had been two years since he had seen her naked and suddenly she felt self-conscious. Would he be disappointed?

"Don’t." She heard him whisper and blushed even more because he had caught her. "You’re beautiful, Jo." He always knew what to say and how to reassure her.

Joey relaxed but pulled back just enough to send his wife-beater flying to join the clothes on the floor. The moment their skin came into contact, powerful jolts of electricity rushed through them and made both moan with delight.

Pacey stood up and let her slowly slide down his body until she was safely standing in front of him. They were half naked and Joey took the opportunity to look at him. His chest seemed to be broader, the muscles more defined. Roaming her hands over his back she kissed a trail from his shoulder down to his nipple, were she lingered for a while, grazing it with her teeth until it became hard as a pebble, and then over to the other nipple, showing it the same attention.

Pacey let his head fall back, reveling in the sensations Joey’s kisses and light touches were creating on his skin. His hands rested on her hips, just above the waistband of her jeans. He pulled her hips flush to his own, showing her or better put, letting her feel how much she affected him. He was already starting to feel lightheaded and as Joey sensually started to grind against him, he nearly lost it.

Burying one hand in her hair he guided her head up and feverishly attacked her mouth. The small, whimpering sound he elicited from deep inside her was like a trigger for him. As much as he loved the teasing and the anticipation, he needed to be with her more than anything. It had been so long. Nibbling on her lower lip he brought one hand between them and fumbled with the button and zipper of her jeans.

"Pace..." Joey moaned and let her hands work the fly of his jeans.

Both had to take a step back to push the offending garments down and were finally able to kick them off their feet. Standing there with nothing but a pair of boxers and a pair of a sweet nothing made of silk, Pacey searched Joey’s face again for any signs of doubts or insecurity, but there were none.

Joey answered his silent question by grazing his prominent erection through the last confinement with her fingertips. She teased him with her feathery touch before she boldly slipped her right hand inside his boxers, closing her hand around his shaft, while her left hand pushed them down.

"God.. Jo." Pacey growled deep in his throat, holding on to her for dear life as he couldn’t help but thrust back in her hand.

Joey remembered everything she had discovered years before, how he liked to be touched, how firm she could squeeze without hurting him, how good his hard cock felt in her hand. Stroking the whole length of him she applied more pressure and let her thumb circle around the tip.

Pacey felt as if he was to burst any second and bit the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder. He knew he was probably leaving a mark, again he couldn’t help it. "You have to stop, baby... or I won’t last much longer," he stilled her hand with his own. Bringing his mouth back to hers he kissed her hard and enveloped her in his arms

Pacey guided them back down on his bed, careful not to put his full weight on her. His hands cupped her round breasts again, massaging them gently as his tongue licked her heated skin in fanciful patterns down to her belly button, where he gave her a foreshadowing of what he intended to do further south in a few minutes.

Joey writhed under Pacey’s ministrations. One hand clawed at the pillow beneath her head while the other was tangled in his hair. Her hips jerked up as she felt his teeth tugging at her panties until he succeeded in pulling them down her legs.

"You’re so beautiful, Jo." Pacey whispered in awe as his eyes lovingly wandered over her exposed body. She was blushing at his compliment, still unable to accept it but she didn’t try to hide from him.

Pacey skimmed his hands over the inner side of her legs, coaxing her to part them for him. Joey closed her eyes and gave in to her need. She spread her legs to make room for Pacey to settle between them, but he took his sweet time of torturing her. He caressed her legs, her thighs with his hands before moving back to her feet and kissing his way up again, alternating between her left and right leg.

"Pace, please..." Joey whimpered. Her skin was unbelievably hot and tingled wherever he was touching her.

"What do you want, Jo?" Pacey’s voice dropped several octaves and he stopped touching her.

"I... please..."

"All in good time, baby," he chuckled and moved a bit higher.

Finally he reached her center and Joey held her breath, anxiously awaiting his next move. She wanted to touch him, but he was out of her reach and she could only pray and wait.

Pacey inhaled the heady scent of her arousal and licked his lips. If everything that had happened over the last days seemed to be unreal and dreamlike this made it more than real. They were together and she wanted him. He’d never understand why, but she wanted him. His heart skipped a beat or two and his dick demanded almost painfully to get closer to her tantalizing, hot core, but he ignored it. He wasn’t finished with what he had started yet.

He ran his fingertips lightly over her damp curls before he kissed her quivering mound. Her pelvis jerked up and he had to hold her hips down to stop her from moving.

Joey uttered small, needy sounds, sounds he’d love to think only he was allowed to hear. He smiled at her reaction as his tongue darted out and licked her slit before flicking it over her hard nub.

Joey tried to muffle her scream by biting on her own hand and used her legs to keep him right where he was.

Pacey’s head started to feel dizzy. He wanted to taste her, he needed to taste her. Still holding her hip down with one hand he used the other to gently spread her velvet folds and dipped his tongue inside of her as far as it would go.

Her silent but ecstatic cries almost sent him over the edge and he knew and felt that she was teetering on the brink as well. Sucking the sensitive nub into his mouth he slipped first one, then two fingers inside of her and stroked her inner walls. He felt her muscles contract around his fingers and looked up to catch a glance at her face. Her head was trashing from side to side and suddenly she stared down at him. She tried to hold back.

"Pace, I... don’t..." her voice was raspy, "... want to cum like that... now..-," and turned desperate, "I want to cum with you buried deep inside of me, please."

The sound of her voice and her words were all it took to convince him. Entangling himself from the grip her legs had on him, he slid up over her slick body, kissing her heated flesh until he came face to face with her. Remembering how she loved to feel his body on hers and how she used to say that his weight over her made her feel safe, he supported himself only with his forearms propped up on either side of her head.

Her skin was glowing and her chocolate eyes were almost black with passion. Pacey captured her mouth again, letting her taste herself, before brushing some damp strands of hair, that were sticking to her temple, from her face.

Joey closed her eyes again and showered Pacey’s chest with tiny kisses while her fingernails were raking over the shifting muscles in his back and down to his ass. She could feel his hard dick poking against her thigh and she wanted him inside her.

Pacey shivered and reached for the drawer in his nightstand to fetch a condom as Joey suckled on his earlobe and whispered, "Let me do that, sweetie."

He couldn’t speak and simply nodded. Raising his chest from her he handed her the small package and watched as if he were in trance how she ripped it open. Following her hands he looked down. He had never been so much aroused like then, well... maybe there had been one day... back at the ski lodge. He watched as her hands closed around his shaft and carefully sheathed him. It was almost too much.

Joey rolled the thin layer of rubber carefully over him, all the while stroking his throbbing member and when she was finished, she squeezed his balls gentle but firmly and guided him to her pulsating hole.

Pacey’s low growl sounded more animalistic than human. "Look at me, Jo," he pleaded and when her eyes met his, he cradled her head in his hands.

Their eyes never left one another as Pacey moved his hips forward and entered her in a single, strong and smooth stroke.

For a moment they remained perfectly still. They had waited and dreamed of this moment and now that it was really happening, they wanted to make it last a little bit longer. After all the time apart their bodies and souls connected in the most intimate way possible. Both silently vowed that this time their connection would never break again.

"Keep looking at me." Pacey begged and as she nodded slightly, he kissed her and almost withdrew from her completely, just to thrust back into her a little more forceful.

Pacey rolled his hips against hers, again and again, while alternating between hard and fast and deep and slow strokes, creating their very own rhythm.

Joey met each of his thrusts, following his lead and losing herself in his eyes. Making love to him, watching and feeling his soul reach out to her made her feel like floating on air and she could only hope that her eyes were telling him just the same.

The stillness of Pacey’s room was only filled with the sound of their bodies moving against each other as one, and the hissing of their labored breaths, sprinkled with hushed exclamations of their names.

Joey threaded one hand through his thick hair, that was clinging to his forehead and rose her head from the pillow to kiss him passionately as she brought her knees up and wrapped her legs around his slender waist to bring him even deeper inside of her.

She gazed at his eyes intensely as he filled her to the maximum, like nobody else ever could. She felt the head of his penis bump against her cervix and a wave of pure bliss and completion washed over her.

Pacey sank deep into her welcoming heat which fit him like a glove, like they were made specifically for each other. Bending down he assaulted her parted lips with torrid kisses and delved his tongue deep inside the cavern of her mouth, mimicking the movements of his cock.

A deep and needy groan escaped his lips as Joey raked her fingernails down his spine and squeezed the cheek of his butt teasingly.

The need for their ultimate release grew frantic and Pacey increased their rhythm in renewed urgency. One hand ran down her side and lingered on her right breast, pinching and teasing the erect rosebud, before it followed the line of her body further south until it reached her hip. Intensifying the grip on her, Pacey slid his hand underneath her hip and lifted her slightly up. The shift in their angle roused a feral cry from Joey and he could feel her muscles tightening around him. He held her pressed against him and embedded the myriad of expressions and feelings washing over her face in his heart and mind.

Joey felt her orgasm build and roll through her whole body like thunder. She cried out his name but didn’t hear her own voice upon the rush of blood through her veins. Her nails dug into his back as she arched against him. She really tried to keep her eyes locked with his but as the ecstasy hit her full force she couldn’t keep them open. Joey surrendered to the pleasure and pressed her head against Pacey’s chest.

"Let go, baby... I’ve got you." Pacey whispered in her ear before he followed her into the heavenly abyss of their passion, his release triggered by her own.

Unconsciously trying to prolong the seizing waves of rapture and delight that were vibrating through them, they kept rocking against each other until their bodies were spend and sated with exhaustion and happiness.

Pacey allowed his body to rest on hers, pressing her into the mattress, but Joey didn’t mind at all. She loved being completely covered by him like that. The aftershocks were still rocketing through them and both tried to catch her breath.

Joey lovingly caressed the back of his head, that lay on her chest and kissed his temple. "I love you, Pacey... I love you so much."

Pacey listened to her racing heartbeat, that matched his own and calmed with its slowing down. Hearing her merely mumbled declaration of love he looked up and kissed her deeply. "I love you, Jo."

Reluctantly Pacey pulled back, not really wanting to disentangle him from her, but knowing that he couldn’t stay within her much longer.

Joey sighed protesting upon the loss as he slipped away from her to dispose the used condom. Pacey smiled and returned to her quickly, scooting up next to her he entwined her hand with Joey’s and pulled her into his arms. Joey sighed again, this time content to be in his embrace again.

~*~

It was still very early and dark when Joey woke up the next morning. They hadn’t left each others arms during the night and she was lying almost completely on top of him. She smiled and kissed Pacey lightly on his chest. They hadn’t bothered to put on any kind of clothes and she loved the comforting warmth the contact of their bare skin created.

Careful not to wake Pacey, she craned her head to catch a glimpse of the green flashing digital alarm clock on his nightstand. The display informed her that it was a quarter to six. Snuggling back into Pacey’s chest she shifted a little and felt his morning wood nudging her thigh. A mischievous glimmer appeared in her eyes as an idea formed in her mind. She remembered that Pacey had set the alarm to a quarter past six, so that they’d have enough time to get up and have breakfast together before Pacey had to go to work and he wanted to drop her off at Worthington. Joey reached over to the clock and turned the alarm off. They had at least thirty minutes.

Pacey stirred and yawned sleepily. He had just had the most sensual and hottest dream ever only to find that it wasn’t a dream at all when he opened his eyes. Joey was placing tiny kisses all over his chest while her hand was slowly pumping his morning hard-on.

His sharp intake of breath and the moan that escaped his lips let Joey know that Pacey had finally awoken. Without stopping her ministrations she looked up and smiled. His deep blue eyes stared at her in surprise and excitement.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Joey scooted higher towards him and kissed his lips tenderly.

"That’s one hell of a good morning." Pacey circled her waist with his arms and pulled her back on top of him.

"Good morning to you, too, sweetie," he captured her mouth with his, "Are you sure that I’m not dreaming?"

"Does this feel like a dream to you?" Joey asked challenging and squeezed him a bit more.

"Hmmm... actually... it does." Pacey grinned and flipped them over. "You and me, here... together... that’s like a dream for me." His tone turned serious and again he searched her eyes for any possible regrets.

"A dream come true, Pace." Joey stroked his cheek.

"How..." Pacey started to ask but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. "Now this makes it a little too real for my liking," he sighed and reached out to grab the trouble-maker.

"Pacey Witter," he answered gruffly.

"Pacey, it’s me... Doug."

"Doug?" Pacey cast a bewildered glance at Joey who watched him expectantly. "Hey, how you doing? You know, it’s kind of earl...."

"Pacey," Doug’s voice cut in and Pacey frowned at his graveness, "... it’s Dad. We’re at the hospital right now. I don’t know yet... I mean, what’s wrong with him... but it’s serious. Probably something with his heart."

Pacey paled. "Okay... uh, what hospital are you guys at?"

At the word hospital Joey’s eyes widened and she touched Pacey’s arm. She could tell it had to be very serious.

"We’re at the Capeside Memorial." Doug sounded helpless and Pacey had never experienced him like that. A strange feeling developed in the pit of his stomach, fear.

"Okay, I’ll be there soon."

"Okay. ... Umm, Pacey? Thanks for coming down. It... means a lot to him." Dough sighed, "Bye."

"Alright." Pacey didn’t know what to say. "Bye," he flipped the phone off and tipped it lightly against his chin.

"What’s wrong Pace, what’s happened?" Joey shook his arm softly to get his attention. He seemed to be deep in thoughts.

"Huh?" Pacey blinked a few times before he was able to focus on Joey.

"What happened at home? You said something..."

"Oh,... uh... Doug called, because Dad... they’re at the hospital. Doug said it was something with his heart, I don’t know." Pacey rubbed his eyes and shook his head. "I...I need to drive down there, I’m sorry," jumping out of the bed he grabbed the clothes he had worn the day before and started to dress.

Joey took a deep breath, digesting the information that Pacey’s father was obviously seriously ill and in an hospital. Again. First her mother, than Dawson’s father, now Pacey’s dad. It just wasn’t fair.

"I’m coming with you." Joey stood up quickly and started to get dressed herself. She wouldn’t say she was sorry. His father wasn’t dead... and even then... . Joey remembered all to well how she felt when everybody told her how sorry they were. People she didn’t know, people who didn’t really know her mother and the worst thing was that they were saying it, but they didn’t care. They just said it out of civility and because society demanded to offer one’s condolences to people who lost somebody. She wanted to be there for Pacey, she wanted to be the shoulder he could cry on, the person he could confide in with all his worries and fears and not only the person to share his happiness.

"Jo...I appreciate that, but..." Pacey ran a hand through his hear, "... you have classes, don’t you?"

"Yeah, I do... but that doesn’t matter." Joey closed the zipper of her jeans and walked over to Pacey. "I know how grueling hospitals can be ... and I want to be there for you," she cradled his face with both hands and Pacey leaned into her touch for a moment, closing his eyes.

"I know... but you don’t have to. I don’t know what’s wrong with him... and I don’t know how long I’ll be there...and you hate hospitals..." Pacey opened his eyes. There was nothing he wanted more than her to come with him, he really dreaded the drive to Capeside and even more what would await him once he got there. On the other hand he didn’t want to impose on her, especially not because he knew how much she abhorred hospitals and the memories it would conjure to be there.

"That’s the point. I’m not letting you go there all by yourself. I do hate hospitals, but I love you, Pacey... and shared sorrow is only half as bad." Joey smiled a little, "And I absolutely don’t care how long we stay there."

"Jo, you..." Pacey protested weakly.

"Nope. It’s not gonna happen, Pace. I’m coming with you so we might as well stop discussing and get it on."

Joey raised one eyebrow and stared at him.

"Thank you, Jo." Pacey hugged her and kissed her cheek, feeling better now that he wouldn’t have to deal with his fears alone.

~*~

A few minutes later they were sitting in Pacey’s car and he was about to put the key into the ignition but his hand trembled. Pacey sighed and turned his head towards Joey who sat quietly next to him.

"Umm... I don’t think I’m in the condition to be driving now... could you...?"

"Sure." Joey took the offered key from his hand and they switched places.

They drove in silence for most of the time. As it was still early there was only light traffic and apart from that the commuter traffic was mainly inbound to Boston while they were headed in the opposite direction.

The sun was rising brightly when they were approaching Capeside and as they passed the ‘Welcome to Capeside’ sign, Pacey cleared his throat.

"Jo? Could you pull over for a second?"

Joey cast a worried look at him but stopped the car.

"I was thinking, all the time right now... What if I’m too late? I mean... we don’t have your usual run of the mill kind of father – son relationship. And now... I can’t help and wonder, what if I’m too late? What if he dies and we never ever really talked to each other?" Pacey swallowed hard before he turned his head towards her.

Joey cradled his face in her hand and shook her head. "You won’t be too late. Don’t think that. Remember? Witter’s aren’t quitters. Your dad is a strong and stubborn man, he won’t steal himself away like that."

Despite his pain Pacey had to smile at the reference. He really wanted to believe her, that his father wouldn’t quit life right then.

"You two might not have a lot in common, and you probably won’t ever win the first prize in father-son-relations, but... Pace..." Joey gently forced him to look into her eyes, "... you’re here right now. You’re on your way to see your dad and you want to be there for him. You wouldn’t do that if you didn’t care about him. And I’m sure, deep down you know that you love him... and your father knows that, too. Because.. when it comes hard on hard?" Joey bit her lip, "Both of you are there for the other."

Pacey lowered his head before he gazed at Joey again. "I’m scared, Jo."

"I know." Joey nodded. She knew all to well how he had to be feeling. "We’ll get through this. Don’t forget we don’t know yet...how serious it is. You have to think positive, okay?"

"Okay... I’ll try." Pacey swallowed and kissed the palm of her hand that was still caressing his cheek.

"Ready to go?" Joey smiled at him encouragingly and waited for a sign from him.

"Not really, ... but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be."

~*~

The parking lot at the Capeside Memorial Hospital was almost empty and the wind sent chills through their bodies.

Joey shivered as they walked towards the main entrance. She felt like the cold was cutting right through to her bones. Maybe it wasn’t only the weather. Maybe it was the hospital and what was waiting for them.

Ducking her head she raised her shoulders and berated herself for the umpteenth time for buying a winter coat that did nothing but look pretty.

Pacey noticed her trembling and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his warm body. "We really have to do something about your choice of wardrobe, Potter," he tried to joke, but he felt as something was slowly strangulating his air supply with every step they took towards the building.

Even though the parking lot had been fairly deserted the inside of the hospital was the complete opposite.

Nurses were bustling about, collecting breakfast trays, preparing the morning round and a few people were already sitting in the waiting area, hopeful that they came early enough to catch a doctor as walk-in patients.

Pacey’s arm slipped from Joey’s shoulder but his hand instantly sought for hers and entwined their fingers. They hurried down the hall and when Pacey spotted Doug leaning on the counter he used his free hand to point him out to Joey. "There’s Doug," his voice cracked. Joey nodded and took a deep breath. Despite her attempts to reassure Pacey that everything would be okay, she was frightened herself. From her experience nothing good could come from being hospitalized but she needed to be strong, for Pacey’s sake she simply had to be.

"Doug... Doug, hey." Pacey called as they walked up to his brother.

As he heard his name being called Doug turned around. Joey tried to read his expression before he had the chance to say anything. He was wearing his uniform and there was no doubt that he was extremely tired. He had probably been working the night shift at the station when he got the call.

"Where is he?" Pacey put one hand on his stomach trying to soothe the sick feeling that was rising full force by then.

Doug was relieved that Pacey had arrived and a little surprised to find Joey standing beside him. "Hey,... they just took him down for some tests, ...but he’s up, Pace. He’s walking at least," Doug smiled tiredly, "He refused to sit down in a wheelchair."

Pacey exhaled, feeling a bit better at this information. It couldn’t be so bad when his father was already rebelling again. Still the feeling of uneasiness wouldn’t budge.

Joey squeezed Pacey’s hand before she let go of him and stepped forward to hug Doug. He seemed lost and lonely. Obviously none of the other family members where there and he was alone.

Ever since the day Doug told her that Pacey was about to leave on True Love for three months at the end of their junior year in high school, Joey regarded him like a kind of big brother of herself and she wanted to comfort him at least a little.

"Hi, Doug," she kissed him lightly on the cheek before stepping back.

"Hi, Joey." Doug nodded thankfully and managed to smile again. "Mom is driving Carrie home. She was exhausted, the pregnancy and the worries about Dad.... I don’t blame her."

Joey’s eyes widened. She didn’t know that Carrie was pregnant... again. Pacey wasn’t interested in this information and walked restlessly around and peeked into the room that was closest to them.

"Is this his room here?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yeah, ...yeah. They’re gonna be right back." Doug rubbed his eyes.

"Uh, Dougie..." Pacey frowned, "...what’s with the old guy? Is that the waiting room for the morgue or what?" he pointed back to the room and raised his hands questioningly.

Doug closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. "Pacey,... just have a seat, will you?" He nodded towards the waiting area, but Pacey didn’t seem to listen to him.

"Why didn’t you guys get him a private room?" Pacey interrogated persistently.

"Look, we tried, okay?" Doug clenched his teeth annoyed. Pacey’s demeanor was starting to wear thin on his nerves. "There wasn’t exactly time to argue over this and we weren’t really interested in the room, but in what was wrong with Dad.... if you can imagine that." Doug added sarcastically.

"Well, there’s time now, isn’t there?" Pacey studied his watch.

"Pace..." Joey touch his arm lightly. She knew he was trying to hide his fear behind the arrogant behavior, but it was nevertheless more than inappropriate to lash out on Doug like that.

Pacey locked eyes with Joey and saw her plea to calm down. He knew he sounded harsh, but he couldn’t help it. Lowering his voice he turned his head towards his brother again. "What kind of tests is he having anyhow?"

Doug sighed. "Just routine tests, Pacey."

"Was it a heart attack?" Pacey asked quietly and hung at Doug’s words as he answered.

"No, not exactly," Doug frowned and wrung his hands helplessly. "It’s what they call and....uh... exaggerated arrhythmia. I don’t understand much about the whole medical science, .... so I..."

"Well, who can I find around here who does know what the hell they’re talking about?" Pacey couldn’t believe that Doug seemed to be content with this incomplete information and glanced around to find a doctor or at least the responsible nurse.

Doug licked his lips, trying to keep his countenance but his features hardened as he snapped, "You know what, Pacey? ... I’d love to sit and walk you through this whole thing... in fact, that’s kind of what I intended, but you don’t get to blow in here and accuse me of not knowing what I’m talking about. I’ve been here all the time..."

"Hey, it’s not my fault that it takes some time to drive down from Boston..." Pacey defended himself heatedly.

Joey frowned on the exchange, but she couldn’t do anything. Both men were far to enraged at each other as to listen to her.

"Yeah... I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I was more concerned about dad, mom and our sister than to listen to the medical lingo and jotting down notes to give you a report, while trying to keep Mom and Carrie from having a nervous breakdown. So... I’m really sorry if things aren’t up to snuff for the Wall Street wannabe... maybe it wasn’t enough to concentrate on more important things, like the fact that dad survived." Doug pressed his lips together and walked away from them in a huff.

Pacey stared after his brother and his shoulders slumped as he realized that he had gone too far. Joey ran a hand over her face, gazing sadly at Pacey.

"Was that really necessary, Pace?" her voice stayed calm, not wanting to add more fuel to his bad temper. "Doug only wanted to help... you shouldn’t have jumped at him like that."

"I know..." Pacey placed his hands on Joey’s waist and rested his forehead against hers, " ... I didn’t want to... it’s just...I’m so worried, Jo. I mean, from what he said, dad seems to be quite okay, under the given circumstances at least, but..." he sighed and pulled her closer, "... we still don’t know exactly what’s wrong with him and Doug... why hasn’t he asked the doctor what this all means for him?"

Joey guided his head gently to the crook of her neck and stroked the back of his head softly. "I know, Pace... I know. I’m sure Doug would have asked if the doctor had the time to answer his questions properly. Right now it’s more important that they take care of your dad and diagnose what’s wrong with him."

Pacey nestled up to Joey’s comforting embrace and closed his eyes. "I guess I need to apologize, huh?"

"Yeah.... and here comes your chance." Joey pulled back slightly as Doug returned and passed them to sit down in the waiting area.

Pacey sighed. He had no idea what to do.

"Doug’s been here for hours... and before that he probably worked the whole night. Go and get us some coffee and then... tell him you didn’t mean anything by accusing him... and everything will fall into place eventually," she advised.

"Okay... I’ll be right back." Pacey kissed her cheek and turned around.

~*~

Joey watched him go over to the vending machines before she walked towards Doug, who had slumped into a chair and stared up to the TV that was mounted at the ceiling.

"May I?" Joey tilted her head towards the seat next to Doug

Doug turned around and looked up to her. "Sure."

They remained silent for a while and watched the shopping station that advertised some outstanding cooking device.

"So... umm, Joey,... how comes you’re here?" Doug broke the silence and added quickly, "Don’t get me wrong...but, well, I’m a little surprised."

"Yeah..." Joey smiled at him, "... we decided to give us another chance. We’ve spent a lot of time together lately and ... you know, I never stopped loving him. And I was there when you called this morning... I couldn’t let him drive down here by himself." Joey’s voice trailed off and she stared at her feet.

Doug nodded and a smile lit his tired eyes. "I don’t think he ever stopped loving you. Those problems you two had back in high school... Pacey’s insecurities played a big part in that. He always seems to be airily and everything, but deep inside..."

"Yeah, I know... and I didn’t help him to work on these insecurities. I made a lot of mistakes."

"Both of you did." Doug paused, "But it’s good to see you two together again. Aside from the reason... umm... why we are here... I can see that look in his eyes he always had when he was with you and I can see how he turns to you, how he reacts to you..." Doug sighed. "It’s a little embarrassing, but... I’ve always envied you for the kind of relationship you two share."

Joey blushed and nudged his arm with her elbow. "Thank you, Doug. ... You know that he didn’t want to lash out on you like that, don’t you?"

Doug shrugged and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No, really. He’s just... scared and... it’s too much for him. He feels helpless and tries to hide it with this..." Joey raised her shoulders and blew out some air, "excessive ...arrogance. But he only has the best intentions. "

"If anything... he’s very lucky to have you." Doug stated and wrapped his arm around Joey’s shoulder.

"Not more than I’m to have him."

~*~

"Getting fresh with my girlfriend, Dougie?" Pacey walked up to them, carrying a tray with three cups of coffee. "Here’s some coffee," he offered the it first to Joey and then to his brother.

Doug removed his arm from Joey’s shoulder and took the cup from Pacey, nodding a silent ‘thank you’.

Joey pursed her lips and stood up. "Pace? Do you have the number of your office?"

"Huh? Sure... why?" Pacey was confused.

"Because... you’re not going to work today and you should inform your boss?" Joey raised her brows.

"Oh... right, I should..."

"Just give me the number and I’ll call." Joey interrupted him and tilted her head slightly towards Doug, indicating that she wanted to leave them alone so they could make up.

"Okay... thank you. Here, take my cell... it’s saved under Office." Pacey fumbled around in his coat pocket and finally handed Joey his cell phone.

"’kay." Joey took the phone and hesitated, "Umm, Pace? Could you lend me your coat? I’ve to go outside and..."

"Sure, no problem." Pacey slipped out of his warm coat and helped her to put it on. Of course it was way to big for her, but as always he found it very cute and endearing to see her in his clothes.

"Thank you." Joey muttered and kissed him briefly on the mouth before leaving the two brothers alone.

~*~

Pacey watched Joey turn around the corner before he sat down on her vacated chair next to his brother.

"Umm... I’ve talked to the nurse and they’ll move dad to a private room," he announced, trying to ease into a conversation with Doug.

"Hmm, good for you. How’d you swing that? Slip her a twenty?" Doug asked still annoyed. When Pacey didn’t answer but looked away, he added, "Yeah, well, that’s one way to solve it, I guess," he turned his attention back to the blaring TV. He knew that his brother meant the best, but his way on getting it, irked him immensely.

Pacey sighed. He wasn’t good at apologizing and this specific one wasn’t going like he had intended at all. "Doug, I’m sorry. I got myself all worked up on the drive down here, thinking about the possibilities and... I appreciate the fact that you’ve been here all the time and that you took care of everyone. I am sorry, man. I was just a little on edge."

Doug nodded and flashed Pacey a tiny smile, showing him that he accepted his apology. "You know, when mom called me..." Doug rubbed his chin, going back a few hours, "...I raced home... I was there even before the ambulance arrived. Dad was in his bed, just as white as the sheets and he grabbed his chest..." Doug shook his head, trying to come to terms that he had seen their father so vulnerable. "I mean, have you ever seen him off-guard one single day in your life?" He looked at Pacey and was thankful that he could finally talk about his own anxieties.

"No...no, not even close." Pacey stared right into Doug’s eyes, where his own fears were mirrored to a T. "Which is probably what’s so scary about this whole thing. I mean... I spent so long pushing the old man’s buttons in high school... I forgot there were real feelings left under there."

"I know..." Doug sighed and sipped at his coffee. "It looks like those tests will take some more time... so, tell me about Joey and you..." Doug decided it would be good for them to change the topic while waiting for the results.

Pacey smiled and started to talk.

~*~

About an hour later they were still waiting for any news. Mrs. Witter had called the hospital to notify their sons that she had to watch Carrie’s twins for a few hours but that she would come back to the hospital as soon as possible. Joey had fallen asleep on Pacey’s shoulder and Doug stole ever so often a side glance at the couple. He didn’t grudge them their relationship at all, but he couldn’t help but notice that just her presence calmed and strengthened Pacey. Next to them he felt alone and lonesome, and he questioned if he was ever to find the one person for him, who would complete him like they completed each other. Yawning he got up to fetch some more coffee but stopped short when he saw a nurse coming over to them.

"You’re here for Mr. John Witter, right?" she asked.

"Yes, we’re his sons." Doug confirmed and watched her expectantly.

"Jo, wake up, honey." Pacey shook Joey’s shoulder gently and when she woke up stood up as well.

"Good. Your father is back in his room and you’re allowed to see him now," the nursed smiled and guided them to Mr. Witter’s room.

Joey had accompanied them, but when they stopped at his room she whispered, "I’ll just wait here, you two go ahead." She shooed them to get in and leaned against the opposite wall, relief washing over her.

~*~

As Doug knocked and opened the door, Pacey shot one last glance at Joey before he stepped in the room and closed the door behind him.

Sheriff Witter was sitting up in his bed, supported by a cushion and listened to the doctor who pointed his new rules of conduct out. When he saw Pacey entering behind Doug a genuine smile lit his whole face and caused the doctor to glance via the door as well.

"Hey boys,", Mr. Witter tried to push himself into a higher sitting position, but he felt very weak at the same time. Sighing he remained in the previous position and adjusted the covers.

"Ah, this must be your other son, Mr.Witter."

"Yeah, this is Pacey, doc. He’s the one I was telling you about." Mr. Witter confirmed very pleased.

Pacey stepped forward and reached his hand out to greet the doctor properly. "Yes, that’s me, the black sheep. Pleased to meet you, doc."

"Actually, your father was just going on and on about how proud he is of you," the older man smiled and took Pacey’s hand in his.

"Yeah, who’d have thought it, huh? He turned out all right. Gonna be taking care of all of us one of these days." Mr. Witter gazed at his two sons. A few hours ago he had thought he’d never be able to do that, but there they were.

Pacey couldn’t believe that his father was talking so fondly about him. Maybe it was because of the drugs, or maybe the fear of death... or maybe his father had discovered forgotten feelings as well. Pacey turned to his father and chuckled, "Yeah. Anyway, how you feeling? You doing okay?" Concern laced his voice, but he was relieved to see his father up and talking.

Mr. Witter nodded and pressed his lips together. Slowly the crippling feeling of fear, that had gripped him when he felt the pain his chest, subsided and he actually started to calm down and feel better.

"Thanks for coming, Pace. It means a lot to me. I know how busy you are," he took a deep breath.

While the doctors were taking care of him and running all kinds of tests he had been thinking. Contemplating his life, his family... everything. He knew he had been a little too hard with Pacey. The girls had him wrapped around their little fingers right from the moment they were born. Doug, well, Doug was always the perfect son, almost like a reflection of himself, even as a kid... And Pacey? Pacey had always been the feisty and vivacious one. The only one who was only following his own head and dared to defy him. He was afraid that he wouldn’t get along with his life if he hadn’t set up strict rules for him. He was wrong. Although he loved his youngest child, a child they hadn’t reckoned with. God, he had been so happy when Mary told him she was expecting again. Maybe that was the reason he treated him differently. He feared he would be to old for another child but his decisions were wrong and now he wanted to make up for them.

The doctor cleared his throat and closed the folder he was holding in his hands. "I don’t mean to break things up, but you’re still pretty weak, Mr. Witter. One kid at a time, okay?"

Mr. Witter nodded silently and Pacey was astonished that his father actually accepted orders from other people. Looking from him to Doug he suggested, " Well, I can just wait outside until you guys are ready." He was about to turn towards the door when he heard his father object.

"No, Pacey. I want you to stay. Come on, sit down," he motioned for Pacey to sit on the chair next to his bed.

Doug stared at them. He was hurt that his father didn’t even acknowledge his presence. "Okay... that’s okay. I’ve been here all the time, right? So, uh... hmmm..." shrugging he stepped back and walked to the door.

"Thanks, Dougie." Mr. Witter called after him, but Doug didn’t turn around and closed the door behind him.

~*~

Pacey sat down, not sure what to say and surprised to be there instead of being the one who was leaving.

"Alright..."

"Uh... did you drive down?" Mr. Witter felt a bit uneasy, not knowing how to start a conversation with Pacey and that hurt him more than anything.

"Yeah... yeah... I came down as quickly as I could." Pacey smiled, "Actually... I wasn’t driving myself... Joey drove."

Mr. Witter looked at his son, surprise evident in his eyes. "Joey... Potter? You let her drive your car? Must be serious."

"Umm, yeah... I guess. No, I know... it’s serious." Pacey stammered. Somehow their plan of telling everybody they were back together had become independent and developed a life of its own.

"Good... that’s great, Pace..." Mr. Witter nodded approvingly. "You know, Joey’s a good girl. Despite the problems her father caused for her whole family and the death of her mother..." he paused, "I like her... and she’s good for you. She keeps you in place, doesn’t take any shit from you... you need that... and, well... back in high school, I could see... I’m sure she loves you."

Pacey stared at his father. The whole situation was so surreal. He had never thought that he could talk with his father like that, that his father was even interested enough in him to care about his girlfriend.

"I love her, too. It’s amazing that she gives me a second chance."

"She kind of reminds me of your mother. See, Witter’s aren’t exactly easy to be with, or low-maintenance. It still amazes me that your mother put up with me for so long... and still does." Mr. Witter chuckled and played with his wedding ring.

"Well, Potter’s aren’t that easy themselves... stubborn women..." Pacey chuckled.

"That’s why you fit that good. ... Back in the day your brother and her sister, well... you two aren’t the firsts." Mr. Witter winked at his son.

Pacey’s eyes widened, "What? You’re kidding me, right? Bessie and Doug?"

"Nah, I’m not kidding... but it didn’t work out... Dougie wasn’t man enough for Bessie... maybe that’s why I wasn’t very supportive when you two started to get close, I mean, even before you got together....I didn’t want my second son to suffer the same heartbreak.... but it looks like you got it right with Joey."

Pacey was baffled and lowered his gaze. Both fell silent for a while, not accustomed to talk about feelings or to talk with each other at all.

"Uh... so, the drive.... not much traffic?" Mr. Witter asked casually.

"No. Who’s coming to Capeside?" Pacey quipped and smirked.

"Yeah, well, you were. Thanks. I appreciate it." Mr. Witter patted Pacey’s hand.

"Umm, ... so, what did the doc say, pop? Doug wasn’t so sure what’s exactly wrong with you?"

"Ahh, it’s not that bad, Pace. They’ll probably release me tomorrow. Don’t worry." Mr. Witter dismissed Pacey’s question with a small wave of his hand.

"You know, this stuff is serious. I mean, if you got heart problems, pop, you really gotta take care of that." Pacey tried to urge his father to accept the fact that he was ill.

"Calm down, Pace. This is nothing. Just a little exaggerate arrhythmia." Mr. Witter shook his head, "Hell, you probably got the same thing. I don’t know what you brother’s getting all worked up about."

"Well, I think you gave him a bit of a scare. He said you went down pretty hard." Pacey frowned. It was so typical of his father to ignore his condition.

"Ah, he’s just looking for some drama. He needs to get out more. He needs to get a life like you."

"Dad... come on, what did the doc tell you?" Pacey insisted and didn’t really care that for the first time he wasn’t compared to his brother but that it was just the other way round.

"Your girlfriend is rubbing off at you, huh? You’re stubborn like a mule." Mr. Witter sighed. "Well then, ... he told me I had to step down a little, reduce my stress level and start to work out on a regular basis to strengthen my heart and to have an eye on my blood pressure. He pretty much said that this was kind of a warning shot... that if I didn’t change anything, well that I would be predestined for a heart attack sooner or later."

Pacey nodded slowly. It was serious, but not as bad as he had feared it would be. "Okay, then... promise me you’ll take this seriously and that you’ll stick to the rules the doc gave you?"

"Yeah, yeah... I’ll try... I’m not quite ready to leave this world so soon." Mr. Witter said quietly.

"That’s good to hear, pop." Pacey smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"So..." Mr. Witter wanted to change the topic as fast as possible, he wasn’t one to dwell on such things, especially not if it concerned himself. He hated to be so helpless and weak. "Listen, it can’t be good for you being away from the office this much."

"Well, I’m pretty sure they’ll understand, given the circumstances." Pacey shook his head, "Besides, Joey called and excused me for the day."

"She’s taking care of you, huh?" Mr. Witter chuckled.

"Yeah, she’s been here all the time... definitely something I could get used to."

"But... what about your clients?"

"You’re my father." Pacey looked at his father seriously and they shared a deep moment.

"You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?" Mr. Witter asked slowly. "Even after everything, you’re still... you grew up to be one of the good guys, Pacey. I always knew you would. I should’ve told you that more often." The regret was evident in his voice.

Pacey swallowed hard and had to blink a few times. Nevertheless his eyes were a little red as he finally met his father’s eyes.

"Well, maybe I just didn’t always hear you."

"Yeah." Mr. Witter nodded.

Pacey hesitated briefly but reached out for his hand and squeezed it gently. Maybe this was the season for second chances.

~*~

Pacey walked back to the waiting room and found Joey talking with his mother.

"Hi, mom." Mrs. Witter turned around and hugged Pacey.

"Oh, Pacey. It’s so good to see you. How is dad doing?" she looked at him anxiously, the shadows under her eyes told Pacey how tired and exhausted she was.

Pacey wrapped one arm around his mother and held her close to him. "He’s doing pretty good. They’ll probably release him tomorrow. We talked for a while and now he wants to see Doug... but we didn’t know you’ve come back... so I think you should go and see him."

"I’m on my way." Mrs. Witter sighed. "I’m just so relieved that it wasn’t a heart attack... I don’t know what I’d do..."

Pacey kissed her cheek. "You know that Witter’s aren’t quitters. He just has to take better care of himself."

"Yeah, I’ll see to that. So, you two... I’m going to your father now. See you later?" Mary Witter stood up and reached for her purse.

"Yeah, sure, mom." Pacey slid on the seat next to Joey and sighed. He felt tired and the day was exhausting in every way possible. On the other hand it felt pretty good to have talked with his father like he did and even better to know that Joey was there waiting for him.

"So, you and my mom, huh?" he leaned his head against hers.

"Yep, she even remembered my name correctly... what is it... for the first time ever?" Joey smiled and put her hand on Pacey’s knee. "Your father is really okay?"

"Under the given circumstances... yes. He needs to reduce stress, work less and watch his blood pressure... The doc say it had been a warning shot... and I hope, I know that he’s taking this seriously."

"That’s good. ... You two had a good talk?"

Pacey laced his hand with hers. She had to be a mind reader, because she already seemed to know the answer.

"Yeah, we had. Beneath everything that went down between us... I’ve buried those feelings for so long and today... when Doug called and just now, after I talked to him... I think I got another second chance here."

"Both of you... and it was about time. I’m glad about this development. You know... maybe your father hasn’t been the perfect dad... but he’s your dad and..." Joey’s voice trailed off and she sighed barely audible.

Pacey kissed Joey’s temple and pulled her closer. "Thank you for being here with me," he whispered into her ear.

"I wouldn’t have it any other way." Joey smiled softly and squeezed his hand.

"Umm, do you happen to know where Doug is? I thought he would be here."

"He said he wanted to go for a walk, just after he left your dad’s room. I don’t know, maybe he’s outside somewhere." Joey shrugged.

"Okay... umm... would you mind if I left you for a moment to look for him? Dad wanted to see him, so..." Pacey frowned. They had been there for hours and now he was leaving her on her own again.

"Nah, sure... go and get him. I’m good. You know... this shopping station does have its moments." Joey smirked, reassuring him that he could go.

"Okay, thank you... I’ll be right back." Pacey kissed her again before setting of to search for his brother.

Joey stretched her tired limbs and made another trip to the vending machines. "Just how much coffee can kill you?" she wondered as she fed the machine some coins.

~*~

Pacey scanned the entrance area for any sign of Doug unsuccessfully and sighed. Turning around he jogged to the other end of the hall and pushed the door that led to the hospital’s garden open. It was raining, but the arbor offered a convenient shelter. Finally he spotted his brother sitting on the lower steps of the fire emergency stairs. Pacey hurried over to him. "Hey, there you are, Dougie. Dad’s ready to see you."

Doug didn’t look up, but at least he responded. "Yeah, that’s okay."

Pacey frowned and pushed his hands into his pockets. He’d forgotten his coat and it was definitely cold out there. "Uh... actually, you know... mom’s back and the nurse said they’re going to do some more tests, so ... that doesn’t leave you much time. Get a move on, Dougie." Pacey shivered and stared at his brother.

"Did he ask for me?" Doug continued to look at his feet.

"What? Like did he send for you?" Pacey shook his head. "He knows that we’re both here to see him and yes, he really wants to see you."

Doug laughed bitterly and avoided Pacey’s gaze. "I love the amount of knowledge you’ve acquired on dad in the few hours that you’ve been here. You’re throwing around paternal references like they’re going out of style."

Pacey didn’t know what hit him. He had no idea what was going on with Doug out of a sudden. "Well, you’ve always been more up on high fashion..."

"Just don’t even start, Pacey... for once." Doug glanced fleetingly at him, "I mean, I know you’re all on your game since dear old dad’s given you the nod..."

Pacey’s eyes widened. "Okay, hold on. What is it that you actually want to talk to me about? Because, from my way of seeing things, you and I are just two brothers trying to take care of our family."

"No, Pacey." Doug’s voice grew louder and was laced with anger. "I’m the one taking care of the family. I’m the one who’s been taking care of the family for years."

"Oh, ... now, Doug, don’t you dare get righteous on me." Pacey shook his head, feeling the anger rising within himself and pointed his index finger at his brother. "You cannot lord your resentment over me because that was your choice."

"Yeah, I do happen to make choices." Doug jumped up and faced Pacey. "I know that’s a foreign concept to someone who plays musical careers."

Pacey blew out some air and frustrated threw his hands in the air. "How did we get here? Am I stepping on your turf or something? Are you the only member of the family who’s allowed to be caring and compassionate? What did you expect me to do, when you called me, Doug? Just chomp on my cigar on the other end of the phone and cut a check for the man’s funeral? I’m a member of this family."

Doug rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, conveniently. That’s the way it is with you lately, isn’t it? You just swoop in with your fancy gifts, pull the wool over the whole Witter family’s eyes... and then you’re out and everybody forgets..." Doug spat out. He didn’t know why he said anything of it, but he felt... threatened somehow... and maybe a little jealous. Out of the blue Pacey got everything he wanted, the girl, the job... and his father’s respect.

Pacey couldn’t belief the turn their conversation had taken. Actually, thinking about it... the whole day the tension between them had built up and now it felt like a volcano was erupting right before his eyes.

"Forgets what? That I'm the family failure? Am I just never supposed to grow up? Am I not allowed to want things?"

Doug couldn’t stop himself. The green-eyed monster didn’t only rear ist ugly head, it had taken over him completely. Ever since Pacey had landed himself this high end job... he’d felt inferior. And after this emotional night and day... it just broke out from deep inside of him.

"Oh, no, we all want things, Pacey. Believe me, we all want things. Nobody would deny you that. "

Pacey bit his lip. He was angry, angry at his brother that he obviously grudged him the fact that after years of ignoration, he was finally offered a tiny bit of respect.

"Then what? I'm just not supposed to get them. So, ultimately, this is not about our father. Which is kind of pathetic, Doug, considering the condition that that man is in right now. This is about you wanting to see my face everyday and know that you're still the good son, that you're top dog." Pacey paused and shrugged defeated. The anger gave way to sadness and disappointment. "Well, that's just sad. Dougie, I miss the daily beatings as much as you do, but I had to leave sometime."

Doug grimaced. He could see that he was hurting Pacey with what he was saying but his own hurt stopped him from continuing with his tirade.

"Pacey, don't make this a celebration of your retreat from Capeside."

"I'm not. Man, listen to yourself speak." Pacey gesticulated wildly, "I came here to see you, to see him. And you know what? He knows it, and he appreciates it," he pointed back to the hospital. "Perhaps he's even happy to know that the son he ignored for the better part of his life is not gonna hold a grudge against him until the day he dies."

Pacey was at his wit’s ends. Apparently it was way too much to ask for complete happiness. Just when everything started to look good for him, Doug ended it brutally.

Sighing he added in a quiet voice, "In a strange way, this might even be a good thing."

Doug swallowed and pursed his lips. "Yeah, you know what? It is a good thing, Pacey." Blowing out some air he sighed. "It's all yours, little brother. You know what? It's all yours. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Doug turned and left Pacey staring after him. He wasn’t happy with what he had done. How could he? He knew that he was wrong, that it was more than wrong to let his frustrations out on Pacey. Right then he hated himself.

~*~

"Hey, did you find him?" Joey shifted in her seat as she saw Pacey walking towards her.

"Yeah, yeah... I did." Pacey let himself fall down on the chair and ran both hands through his hair.

Joey furrowed her brows, "What’s wrong, Pace?"

"Wrong?" Pacey laughed grimly. "Nothing’s wrong except the small detail that my brother just freaked out on me and declared that I’m a yuppie asshole who just comes home to play family whenever he feels like it and that I should enjoy this phase of happiness and acceptance as long as it lasts... because in his opinion... it won’t last long."

Pacey bent forward, buried his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"God, Pace..." Joey didn’t know what to say and simply started to stroke his back softly. "Why would he say something like that? You know that it isn’t true."

"Do I? You know, one minute my father tells me at last that he’s proud of me and the next minute my brother, who used to tell me that despite the rest of the family he did have a... at least... decent opinion of me... jumps at me and..." Pacey shook his head, never finishing the sentence.

"I’m sure he didn’t mean it... Pace."

"I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Jo. ... I’ve never seen him like that... his eyes were almost hateful. It’s like, ... like he feels threatened or something."

Joey pondered Pacey’s statement silently. "You know, maybe that’s just it. He’s so used to be... your dad’s favorite son and he’s used to have his sole attention and approval of everything he does, well ... at least of most things he does."

Joey lifted Pacey’s chin gently with her hand. "The day was very hard and emotional for everyone and now he has to deal with the fact that... yeah, that he has to share your dad’s respect and interest in his sons. He’s jealous and acts just like a spoiled child. I bet he’s already very sorry for what he said and berates himself."

Pacey gazed sadly at Joey. He had thought the same thing. Jealousy was a powerful emotion, one he had felt several times himself. But being attacked like that by Doug... it was just too much.

"It hurt a lot, Jo."

Joey sighed and wrapped her arms around Pacey’s neck, pulling him close. "I know. But don’t let Doug’s outburst get to you. Give him a little time and I’m sure he’ll apologize... sooner or later. He loves you, it’s hard for him, too."

"I hope you’re right." Pacey mumbled and tightened his own arms around her.

"Have I ever been wrong?" Joey tried to lighten the mood.

"Let me think..." Pacey chuckled, amazed that with just a few words and little touches she could make him feel better.

~*~

"Are you sure you want to go now?" Joey asked carefully as they gathered their belongings and walked to Mr. Witter’s room.

"Yeah, I’m sure. Dad’s feeling better and he needs some rest and we’ve been up for hours as well. Mom will stay with him... so I guess it’s okay." Pacey counted on his hands.

"Okay. You sure I should say bye? I mean... I haven’t even said ‘hi’ and I don’t know if your father even wants to see ..."

"Stop it, Potter. He’ll be happy to see you and you’ve said ‘hi’ to my mom and to ... Doug." Pacey guided her to the door and knocked.

"Come in," they hear Mr. Witter’s voice invite them in.

Pacey opened the door and stepped inside with Joey in tow. "Hey."

The TV was on and Doug and Mrs. Witter were sitting on either side of the bed, where Mr. Witter was still sitting up in. As they entered he turned the TV off and smiled at them.

Doug glanced up briefly but quickly lowered his gaze again. He felt too ashamed to face Pacey so soon after his outburst.

"Hey,.... oh... and there’s Joey, too," his smile grew wider.

"Hi, Mr. Witter. Good to see you." Joey blushed.

"Good to see you, Joey... and... uh... thank you for driving Pacey down here and... everything..." Mr. Witter thanked her.

"You wouldn’t have to mention it..." Joey lowered her gaze, blushing even more.

"We just wanted to stop by before they close up shop and kick us out because of overcrowding, see how you feel..." Pacey smiled.

Mr. Witter chuckled, "I feel like I could use a scotch."

"John!", Mrs. Witter gaped and slapped his arm softly.

Mr. Witter took his wife’s hand and winked at her. "Other then that, I’m fine."

"It’s good to see you joking around here." Pacey chuckled, "Well, I was thinking... maybe... I could stop by in the morning... before they release you?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." Mr. Witter nodded enthusiastically.

Joey gazed at Doug who had crossed his arms over his chest, staring holes in the floor in front of him. It was more than obvious that he was feeling uncomfortable.

"Wait, Pacey..." Mrs. Witter spoke up suddenly, "... where are you two staying? I mean...", she blushed a little, " I guess you want to ... umm.... stay together ... somewhere?"

Pacey grinned. It was too cute to see his mother squirming like that at the thought of her youngest child and sex.

"I don’t know... I talked to Bessie and the B&B is completely booked... including my old room..." Joey answered, sporting a nice shade of dark red.

"Ahh, then... why don’t you stay in your old room, Pace? Carrie and the kids have returned home, so..." Mrs. Witter offered.

"Thank you, mom... that’s a great idea." Pacey smiled and nodded. "Okay then, we’re letting you rest... and... uh, Dougie, see you at the house?"

"Yeah, maybe." Doug cleared his throat and looked at Pacey for a second.

"Umm... bye, guys." Pace nodded again and opened the door for Joey.

"Bye." Joey smiled at Pacey’s family and stepped out of the room with Pacey following her. Just when he wanted to close the door behind them, Mr. Witter called out to him once more.

"Uh... Pacey? ... Thanks for getting me this private room."

Pacey turned around and hesitated briefly, letting his eyes wander through the room and resting them finally on Doug who was slumped in his chair.

Of course Joey was right. Doug was hurt, too. It didn’t excuse the accusations he had thrown at him, but he could understand.

"No, ... that wasn’t me," he pointed at Pacey, "Doug took care of the room. ... Good seeing you, pop. Feel better," and with that being said he closed the door.

Doug stared surprised at the door and after a while his lips slowly morphed into a smile.

~*~

"So what did Bessie have to say... besides that the B&B is booked?" Pacey inquired as he opened the passenger seat door for Joey.

"Umm... she said something that sounded like...’It’s about time’... ‘Come over for dinner’ and... a ‘Get well soon’ directed at your father." Joey giggled.

"So she knows, huh?" Pacey slid behind the steering wheel and re-adjusted his seat, whose position Joey had changed on their way down from Boston.

"Yeah, she knows... Bodie, too, I guess... as does your whole family... and Jen and Jack." Joey’s lips formed her trademark lopsided smile. "Strange how fast our good news has spread, huh?"

"A little...but it feels good, doesn’t it?" Pacey started the motor and cast a side glance at Joey.

"Very good. Even your mom..."

"Yeah, that was really strange... or better hilarious... as she struggled to come to terms with the idea of us having sex..." Pacey laughed.

"You’re cruel, Pace... she’s your mother."

"I know, I know..." Pacey exhaled and directed his attention towards the road.

"That was very nice of you, telling your dad that Doug had taken care of moving him into a private room." Joey twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"Well, I think... I think that you were right....again, Potter... and I tried to put myself in his place... and I’d probably have acted quite similar. I mean... I can understand him and... I didn’t want to make it any worse... especially not because of a stupid room. There are far more important things than that." Pacey explained.

"True... but I’m very proud of you, Pace." Joey put her hand on his thigh and Pacey covered it with his own, just like they always did.

"Umm... Jo, before we head over to the B&B... would you mind if we stopped by the Leery’s? I’d like to check on Mrs. Leery and have a look at how the repairs are going."

"No, that’s fine. We have plenty of time left before dinner’s ready and I haven’t talked to Mrs. Leery in ages." Joey yawned, "Although I might be asleep before we get there."

~*~

Pacey pulled up to the Leery’s house and stopped the car. "There we are, still awake, honey?"

"Yeah, I’m awake..." Joey opened her eyes and grinned sheepishly, "I was just resting my eyes... you know."

"Uh-huh...whatever you say, Jo." Pacey chuckled.

He was about to open his door when Joey’s cell phone started to ring. He watched her fishing it out of her purse and saw her scrunching her nose upon reading the caller ID on her display.

"It’s Hetson... I’ve got to answer," she sighed.

"Why does he have your cell number at all?" Pacey asked tiredly.

"Because..." Joey shrugged and pressed the green button to answer the call. "Go ahead, check if Mrs. Leery is at home. I’ll be right with you," she whispered before she talked into the phone, "Joey Potter. ... Hi, Professor Hetson."

"Okay." Pacey opened his door, got out of the car and made his way over to the porch. Opening the screen door he stepped on the porch and aimed at the entry door when he realized someone was calling him, someone with a very familiar voice.

"Pacey?" Dawson stopped short in his tracks. He was surprised to say the least to find Pacey standing in front of him.

Pacey whirled around and faced Dawson. Somehow he had even expected for him to appear out of nowhere. It was just typical.

"Dawson. Hey, what are you doing here, man?"

Dawson moved closer and held up the bundle of firewood he was carrying. "Uh... long story. At the moment, bringing in some firewood. ... What are you doing here?" Dawson eyed him and noticed the strain in Pacey’s demeanor.

"Uh... well..." Pacey straightened his shoulders, deciding he would take small steps in explaining his presence, "I was in town, so I wanted to check on your mom, see how the repairs are going."

"Wow, that’s..." Dawson raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly, "...thank you."

"Yeah." Pacey rubbed his chin and rocked softly to his heels, trying to soothe the feeling of uneasiness that spread through him.

"You all right?" Dawson frowned and stared at him, now standing only at an arm’s length before him. He sensed that Pacey wasn’t alright and he wondered if he had really come to check on the repairs.

"Yeah, I’m fine, but I checked my dad into the hospital today." Pacey gazed at his feet. Two-thirds of his reasons to be there were out in the open. The last one, well... it wasn’t really a reason for visiting Dawson, was it?

"Oh my god. Is he okay?" Pictures of his own father flashed through Dawson’s mind and his eyes widened.

"Yeah, he’ll be okay." Pacey sighed, "It was a ... heart condition of some sort, but he’s gonna get out in the morning, so he’ll be alright. But, uh, you know... no matter how tough you think your dad is, uh, it’s a little disconcerting seeing him lying there all vulnerable." Pacey wrung his hands together and looked up.

"Yeah... can turn your whole world upside-down." Dawson sighed. Sometimes it still seemed to be so unreal that his father was dead.

Both nodded and fell silent. It was strange to face each other like that, but both knew that the friendship, if it ever had been real friendship, they’d shared was still damaged, no matter how much time had passed and no matter that they had reached a point where they at least managed to act civilly around each other.

"When did all this happen, huh? I mean, when did I become the one who made sure the house was warm enough... and you the one who checks up on repairs?" Dawson tried to break the uncomfortable silence and shifted the logs in his arms.

"I don’t know." Pacey chuckled and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, "but sometimes I feel like I’ve been playing the part, wearing the suit so long, that... I may have forgotten how I got there in the first place," he shook his head, "And who’d have thought I’d be wearing a suit on a daily basis anyway?"

Dawson smiled knowingly, "Yeah,... I know you deal with this more than I do, but some kid called me ‘sir’ today." Laughing he added, "What’s that?"

Pacey joined his laughter, at least for a moment. "I know. It’s strange. Every time I hear ‘Mr. Witter’, I look over my shoulder and expect to see my father there. ... Who called you sir?"

Dawson placed the firewood on the steps and stretched his arms. "This kid in my..." he hesitated, "... I almost said, this kid in my class. I went to Capeside High today."

"What, in your mind?" Pacey quipped but silently wondered how much longer it would take until Joey finished her phone call and made her presence known.

"Almost," Dawson grinned, "Uh... no... I went to go talk to Mr. Gold’s film class."

"Get out of here." Pacey chuckled, "Really? ...Well, I guess that’s what they call coming full circle, huh?"

Joey chose this exact moment to walk around the corner. Pacey had parked the car parallel to the house and she hadn’t been able to look around the porch. She heard the last bit of Pacey’s sentence, but didn’t know that he was talking to Dawson. When she saw both men standing a few feet from her, she froze as the scene resembled oddly a déjà vu from their past.

"Yeah, yeah... I went there. I was supposed to talk about where I am now and the glamour of the real world and all that, but it was ...weird...." Again Dawson was the first to spot Joey. "... Joey?" For the second time this afternoon Dawson couldn’t believe what he was seeing with his own eyes.

Pacey turned around quickly and made eye-contact with Joey. He dreaded what would happen in the next few minutes, but her eyes smiled, reassuring him that he didn’t have to be afraid this time. He nodded slightly, so that only she could see it and licked his lips nervously.

"Hi, Dawson." Joey greeted him but stopped right at Pacey’s side.

"Hi..." Dawson closed the gap between them and hugged her happily. "God, that’s one surprise after the other... What are you doing here, Joey? I thought you were in Boston? The semester is still running, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, though Spring Break is coming up soon." Joey stepped back a little to put some space between them by moving even closer to Pacey.

"I was just telling Pacey that I’ve been to Capeside High today and..." Dawson continued, oblivious to Joey and Pacey’s body language, "... you know, being here.... being at the high school... all these ghosts around me, I wanna go back, start over... do the things the right way... and ... tada... both of you appear literally on my doorstep." Dawson smiled brightly. "This just calls for a movie... like ‘Return to the Glory of the Past’ or something... only that I can’t afford to make movies right now..."

Joey rolled her eyes. She knew she should tell Dawson about the reason why she was there, but his rambling made it kind of difficult to get through to him.

"Afford? Those are the people I cater to, my friend. Come on. I’m a wizard of high finance." Pacey nudged Joey’s shoulder softly with his own.

Dawson turned his head towards Pacey, as if he’d just remembered he was standing there at all. "Right, right, right... I’m the kind of person you prey on."

Pacey chuckled. At least he had stopped Dawson from drifting too far into his daydreams.

"Sentimental losers with ten cent dreams." Dawson added, his eyes wandering back to Joey who stared at her feet.

"More like ten-thousand, but who’s counting, right?" Pacey annotated.

"I’m sorry, but... you’re freaking me out there, Mr. Witter." Dawson joked. Now that Joey was there, he tried harder to act like they were still good friends.

"Alright, we can talk about that some other time, sir." Pacey attempted to steer the conversation away from the joking-around-conversation and cast a glance at Joey who sighed and looked directly into his eyes. It was time.

"Well, well... so, Joey... you never answered my question, did you? Why are you here, on a school day nevertheless?" Dawson inquired.

Joey straightened her shoulder and took a deep breath. "No, I didn’t. Well... I guess Pacey already told you about his father?"

"Yeah, he did. I’m glad that he’s okay, under the given circumstances..." Dawson frowned not understanding what Pacey’s dad could have to do with Joey being in Capeside.

Joey nodded. "Right, see... I’ve come down from Boston with Pacey this morning. I didn’t want to let him drive all alone..." Joey smiled at Pacey and tugged at his arm.

Pacey returned the smile and complied to her silent plea and removed his hand from the warmth of his pocket to lace it with hers.

"...Actually, he let me drive his precious car."

Dawson narrowed his eyes at Joey and when he noticed that Pacey was entwining his fingers with hers, he inhaled sharply. He never thought he would have to live through this again.

"How did you know? I mean, I didn’t know you were that close again..." he had a hard time to control his voice and stared into Joey’s eyes, clenching his jaw tightly.

"I was there when Doug called." Joey stated simply. She hadn’t meant to tell him about them like this, but his behavior annoyed her.

"You were... there..." Dawson repeated and his eyes widened as the subliminal message of this information sunk in.

"Yes." Joey nodded vehemently and leaned closer to Pacey. "We’re back together, Dawson."

"Oh..." Dawson clenched his fists. A small voice inside his brain told him that he had no right to be pissed, but he was. "Since when?"

"Not that it’s your business, really..." Joey started but Pacey interrupted her.

"For a few days... although it’s been developing for some time now... and truly official since yesterday."

"Is that so, Pacey?" Dawson asked almost snidely and tilted his head to look at Pacey coldly.

Pacey held his gaze without batting an eyelid.

"What is your problem, Dawson?" Joey struggled to keep her voice matter of fact.

"Problem?" Dawson diverted his eyes from Pacey and directed them at Joey. "I don’t have a problem. I just thought you’d never make the same mistake twice."

Shaking her head Joey pressed her lips together. "I’m not planning on doing that, Dawson. ... By the way... the only mistake I made the first time, was trying to spare your feelings by giving them a higher priority than Pacey’s or my own. That won’t happen again. See, we’re telling you about our relationships right-away. I just hope you’ll be able to deal with it like an adult, Dawson."

"Like an adult?" Dawson snorted. "So you came here to tell me that you’re together again? What if Pacey’s dad didn’t get sick? What if I wasn’t here? Huh, Joey? Would you’ve told me then?"

"Sure... and admittedly... I didn’t plan it this way, but the next time we were to talk, you would’ve known it." Joey answered plainly.

"Which could have been only god knows when... seeing that you conveniently avoid me most of the time since your birthday." Dawson muttered fully knowing the included side-swipe directed at Pacey.

"That tells a tale... doesn’t it?" Pacey retorted.

"Maybe... but you know exactly why, Dawson. Do I have to remind you? I’ve never cheated on anyone like you did. And I told you that it was a mistake, a huge mistake. More importantly... it’s in the past, Dawson. Didn’t you just say that you wanted to go back, start over and do things the right way?" Joey pursed her lips, "You can’t go back, Dawson. What’s done is done, but you can start doing things the right way in the present, in the here and now. Maybe you should think about that instead of resuscitating old discords that should’ve never been there in the first place."

"Joey, Pacey... hi, what a nice surprise." Gale Leery opened the screen door and stepped out on the porch. "I thought I was hearing voices... and there you are."

She was oblivious to the situation she was walking in on and smiled at the little group.

"I just made some coffee. Do you wanna come in and sit down for a little while? Catching up... It’s been a long time..." she suggested.

Dawson’s face hardened. As much as he knew that Joey was right, he couldn’t bear the thought of having a nice little Kaffeeklatsch with them just after he had learned that they were a couple again. It hurt too much, the fact that after everything that happened between them, Pacey was getting a second chance... while he had fucked up the only chance he ever had.

"Umm, mom... Pacey just wanted to check on the repairs... I’m afraid they don’t have time for a get-together right now."

"Really? Oh, that’s too bad." Gale was disappointed.

"Right, I’m sorry, Mrs. Leery... but Bessie is waiting for us." Joey said and smiled at her. Mrs. Leery was still someone she regarded highly. At some point she had been like a mother for her.

"Okay, I understand, Joey. Maybe another time?" Gale returned her smile.

"I’d love that. Bye, Mrs. Leery." Joey sighed. If Dawson wanted to play like that, they would do just that. This time his perfidious mind games wouldn’t work on them.

"Bye, Mrs. Leery." Pacey joined in. "Bye, Dawson."

Joey looked at Dawson, but his face was still marred with anger. There was nothing else she could say. "Bye Dawson."

Dawson watched them walk to Pacey’s car and still stared as they turned and drove away. "That’s what they call coming full circle," he mumbled as he finally picked the bundle of firewood up and tiredly opened the door.

~*~

"It’s been a long, long day, huh?" Joey stretched out on the bed in Pacey’s old room.

It was furnished like it had been so many years ago. It struck Joey that she’d never really been in his childhood room. There were only brief visit back when Dawson and her had come to pick Pacey up, but she had never taken the time to look around. When they were getting closer, Pacey had already started to live at Doug’s apartment and after that, he had moved into the beach house. She sighed.

"Hey, what’s wrong?" Pacey asked concerned. He quickly threw his remaining clothes over the back of a chair and sat down on the bed.

"Nothing." Joey touched his arm softly, "It’s just that I realized ... that I’ve never really been here... in this room. And I should have, even when we were only friends... I never took the time to... get to know you back then."

"It’s just a room, Jo,... and I don’t even liked it that much. I slept here, nothing more. My life happened elsewhere... and for most of it ... you’ve been there to witness it firsthand." Pacey wiped the small that escaped her eyes away and kissed the tip of her nose. "There’s nothing to feel sorry for, or even shed a tear, sweetie."

"I’m still regretting the time I’ve wasted..." Joey muttered but Pacey silenced her with a kiss.

"Nah, no reason. What’s with this trip down memory lane?"

Joey shrugged. "Maybe those ghosts of the past are tackling me a bit."

"Are you thinking about Dawson?" Pacey asked seriously. This time he hadn’t been able to put a wedge between them by giving an ultimatum, nevertheless he knew that Joey was hurt by his behavior.

"No... at least not like that, more about what he said, going back in time and fixing the things you’ve done wrong." Joey admitted and sat up.

"Jo, we’ve talked about that..." Pacey frowned and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I know and I don’t want to bring the past back... I’d just like to ... somehow fill the gaps, you know? Get to know all the things that were important to you... or maybe still are... does that make sense to you?"

Pacey relaxed and smiled widely. "It does... and if you really want to fill those blanks..." his smile turned into a mischievous smirk, "Remember our wonderful snail project?"

"How could I forget that? It was completely your fault... all of it." Joey rolled her eyes mockingly.

"Yeah, yeah... I know..." Pacey chuckled as he remembered his attempts at giving carnivorous snails the opportunity for a menage á trois. "But the point is... when you changed into that blanket... well, I couldn’t help but peek a little at your absolutely beautiful and sexy naked back." Pacey steeled himself for the famous Potter scowl.

"Duh... jerk, ... I knew you peeked!" Joey slapped him playfully, but her sparkling eyes were betraying her indignation.

"Prude. ... What did you expect from a red blooded teenage boy?" Pacey mimicked her eye rolling. "What I’m trying to say here...even though you rejected my timid but obvious advances back then..." he paused and licked his lips provokingly, "... but I used to fantasize here about having you in my room and in my bed ... just like you are right now, for a long time..."

Joey wrapped her arms around Pacey’s neck and pulled him down with her. "Then by all means, Mr. Witter... make your dreams come true."

~*~

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