| no where left for me Nolz age 15 must i really resort to this, hurting myself, causing the pain? there really is no sense behind it; but i do it anyway........ a cut for this, a cut for that; they are becoming so frequent and numerous. where can i run; where can i hide? there is no where left for me.... no where left for a cutter... no where left for me. |
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| Relief from pain a room with no windows is were I am, a lone candle lights the room in a world of eternal darkness. the room is full of pain and darkness, fear and shame. but this is my room���why must I feel this pain in here my soul has vanished, my heart has died. I sit here crying in a corner of my own room I want to die but I can�t, I don�t know why but I can�t die the pain wont let me die it won�t release me from its prison. I want to end it all but I cant I CAN�T I know of nothing else to do but cry but I am afraid that he will hear me I�m afraid he will return to have more of his fun as he calls it�����it�s him that won�t let me die he wants me alive for his sick pleasure���� I want to die but I CANNOT why���why must I feel this pain in my own room why has it betrayed me����why has my body betrayed me��WHY? WHY? WHY? I ASK���I feel my sanity slowly slipping away I want to give up��� let him have my body let him destroy my heart and soul let me be his�����why must I fight this why can�t I just let him win and accept the truth I am nothing more than his������� I continue to cry till I have no more tears to cry�����������NO NO NO DON�T DO THAT TO ME STOP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP��*SHUT UP*����IT HURTS IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE STOP�*SHUT UP BEFORE I*��IT HURTS!!!!��AGH!!!!!��NO IM SORRY��WHY ?��why is he doing this�to�me?��am�I?��going�.insane��am�I�bad��boy why?������������I have no will to live I wanna die but I cant�its my fault he says he says I deserved it��.did I��yes I did deserve it I did deserve what I got I am the one at fault�����its all my fault I deserved it all of it. I hear the rain outside pounding on the roof as I lay there in my corner waiting ��wondering when he�ll be back to have more of his fun am I going insane am I imagining this is this a nightmare aren�t ����supposed to be loving and caring then why is he doing this to me. I hear something sound like its coming from outside and its heading towards my room my room why did you betray me why?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is it him Is he back NO NO NO DON�T LET IT BE HIM PLEASE!!!!! DON�T LET IT BE HIM I WANT TO HIDE but there is nowhere to hide he�ll find me and make it even more painful IM INSANE IM A BAD PERSON I DESERVE EVERYTHING IM GETTING PLEASE tell me I�m not mad I see the door handle move�� I quickly get on the bed�I know he�ll hurt me more if I�m not on it ready������the door opens and yet no one is there����I hear a voice but I can�t make out the words am I gong crazy? will he hurt me more for being crazy YES YES HE WILL I don�t want to feel please don�t let me crazy he�ll hurt me even more please don�t let me be insane!!!!!!!!!!!!! I beg you. "I�ll relieve you of your pain" am I mad did I hear that I cant see anyone but I hear someone NO NO I�M GOING INSANE THAT�S RIGHT THAT�S IT IM GOING MAD "I�ll relieve you of your pain" who are you ? " am the eyes you lied to I am your relief from pain��.."���NO NO!!!!! IT JUST CAN�T BE!!!!!! I CAN�T DIE I ����HE WONT LET ME "I�ll relieve you of your pain" the shadowy figure said as he stepped into the light of the candle what are you? "I am the end to your pain I am��I am sorry ��" he pulled his gun out and fired the pain!!!!!!! My heart I feel ��The searing pain in my heart I could feel my� I THANK YOU���ITS GETTING DARK BUT I FEEL NO PAIN MY LIFE MY THOUGHTS I FEEL NO PAIN "no need to fear that is why came to end your pain " "you did not deserve this life for that I am sorry I only hope I was not to late" NO YOU WERE NOT TO LATE�� the pain its gone I feel nothing NOTHING NOTHING NO PAIN FINALLY�����I CAN DIE FOR THAT I THANK YOU���� M/19 |
| CONFUSION As I walk Down the corridor of confusion I feel sadness Trickle in I start to think About my emotions I feel lonely Left alone No one stops To help me decide Which room Is best to enter I continue On my journey Through the endless Corridor Then I stop And start to cry Because the corridor Is eternal * ) i ( * Amanda Lynne * ) i ( * |
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| Don't you see that this is tearing me apart? Why do you insist on breaking my heart? Day after Day the cut gets deeper Sinking in to my heart, I don't know how much longer this will last I think it will all end pretty fast Not because you stopped, but because I did I walked away with death, My head held low Only to look back at you,Wondering why you let it happen It could have been prevented,With love trust and some respect,Well its too late now, and all my trust went to death I gave myself to death |
| I am seeing you You are speaking to yourself again Calling yourself names I watch bare big-girl feet pad over the carpet Pause the computer, and into the back of the house you go Swing the bathroom door shut, and you jump when Mom�s footsteps sound past it; as though she�d open it Catch you doing your business Catch you in the act And you kneel over the toilet Like a Muslim praying to her great porcelain Allah Bite your lip and open your mouth and Stick two fingers far far down into The sphincter connecting your stomach to your throat You remember when you had your first orgasm You had to teach yourself how; and it took time And this must be the same way because although your eyes Tear up and your nose runs and Mucus coats your fingers, you just can�t seem to get Those fingers down far enough, and you gag But those Cheetos and that sandwich-and-a-half Sit firmly in your stomach Like lead Eventually You wipe your mouth and look in the mirror, and you�re so calm You�re so damn calm, I look on and wonder how You can do this to yourself, to your body And you say, �I�m frustrated, shit, I even fail at this.� Get out your razorblade and carve the word �Dyke� into your upper arm Because that�s what you feel like, you say And you tell me, �I�d cry if I had the strength.� but you don�t so you pad back out into your living room over the soft grey carpet out of the starkness of your cold, detached bathroom leaving crumpled-up tissues with dried blood drops in the little garbage can behind you. You curl up on the couch in your Playboy-bunny print undies Wrap your soft blue baby blanket around your size 7 body and tune the TV to Sex and the City Krysten E. Lobisch, Age 17 |
| Her disguiseave u e She sees the way we look at her with sympathy in our eyes looking through strained smiles and unveiling her disguise Everyone treata her like a porcelain doll So fragile and so rare We wrap her in strong tin foil and handle with care I shower her with soothing words in hopes that she won't break Sweet. candy piled on her plate She hears me crying unending tears When i think she's not around Afraid to stir up a commotion and caused her to lose another pound My composure is deterioting as i tell her to be strong I tell her, she can win this battle but she knows she'll prove me wrong. -Sommer Alvater, Newark, DE www.teenink.com |
| This pain needs to go somewhere I cant let it stay But it has nowhere to go For my soul is much too full Forcing it the only other place out My skin beckons me to quit and my heart says its wrong But with each slice a feeling of comfort arises There is relief that i can only find In my razor, my greatest escape is the sight of my own blood imbeded in my skin. There are numerous scars each one with its own story All have their own reasons why Here is where the pain hides This is where my comfort lies. |
| She couldn't quit Till she made her final delicate slit Those she loved and those she hated Turned into the red blood that fell Slowly like a river Long and loving Swiftly running She watched every bit Until she had made that more Delicate, final, SLIT -Elle |
| Im walking in the shadow of the valley of death as i feel the cold barrell in my mouth i now pull the trigger endng my life in shame and fading out just to become an old memory -Josh |
| Day I think somewhere inside of me, I'm just trying to find someone who can understand me and unlock what's inside for I have the chance to be really great if you give me that one try It cannot be too late open my heart see in my soul fill up the emptyness and I'll regain control I may look like me but it's just a shell waiting for someone to come and crack me waiting to be whole. |
| all alone numb to the world one friend your so young and sad no one understands all alone in my world you are like me all alone in your world your so sad i feel your pain you feel my pain you hurt i hurt together one circle one world three little words i love you -- George |
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| I am a little boy lost in this fucking world who everyday Cries at night I love You Words i wish to heatr If someone cared -----Angel Perez |
| ~Another Day~ As I hold you close in my arms, It brings so many memories. You sweep me off of my feet, And everything floods back. I look up into your beautiful eyes, This is when I learn you feel it too. I want to go with my heart, Let all of my emotions show.Although I know I can't do that, Can't sacrifice everything I have. From the look you're giving me, You're fighting the same battle.Weighing the consequences,is it worth it for one night? An evening of uttermost passion, When we become one again. Tears fall down your face, Already knowing the answer. The pain is slicing through me, I begin to cry with you silently.Giving you one last tight hug, I detach myself and walk away. Now is not the time,Maybe another day. ~Sami |
| Translucent tears, Fall silently. Thinking about you, Makes me feel this way. If you knew, What would you think. Wanting to tell you, Scared for you to know. Wrapped up in feelings, Not sure what they mean. So confused, About everything. Pain comes, Hurt stays. Unsure how to go on, Sitting here by myself. What do I do, Tonight. -Sami |
