sylvia

you stumble in again
softly drawing out my name
          sylvia, sylvia,
          rise with your red hair
but you can't reach me where i am

day by day i breathe you in
and suffocate
as you turn my lies to truth

you try to reach the girl inside
but this is not me

around you i can't seem to keep myself
from being what i'm not
i'm just sharing space with an angry girl
who thinks she's satisfied

she can't hide the raw emotions
i can only hide my soul
you try to get deep enough to find me
but you can only get inside

and sometimes i lie in bed
just to listen to you breathe
and wait for you to wrap your arms around me

but tonight i just lie and wonder -
     where is this girl i used to be -
as you rest your head beside mine

a moment passes,
all the world drops dead and then
i hear you call my name

i open my eyes
                      (all is born again)
to say that i'm not the one you're with

your eyes speak to me of love
and i realize just how much this conflict
is threatening my soul

two tears
             fall and drift

and it stuns us both to discover
the waterfall below

your brilliant eyes widen,
soft arms pull me close
your lips find my hair
as my soul begins to breathe
          sylvia

you whisper,
but i'm too drained to speak

and as i drift off in your embrace
my soul discards the ashes,
gathers wings to rise, rise again

Note: I'm on a Sylvia Plath kick. If you didn't understand something, try looking at Mad Girl's Love Song, or find a Plath page and read "Lady Lazarus" - Lazarus will at least show why I chose a few phrases, MGLS actually contributed two half-phrases of this poem...

and yes, it's titled "Sylvia" because of my kick, but it's not about that Sylvia... her life was more complicated than being angry and then finding & fighting love.

Sylvia