cells glide against smooth stone as my fingers slide across the walls
the cool touch seeps into my veins and calms my emotions
once again my pounding heart dissuades me from arguing,
pulsating rhythms drowning in my ear

the thought comes like always - never again -
but i know a next time will come -
his anger is louder than mine, stronger than i ever could be
but fast as i can is not fast enough for me to break away

i need him, my existence a double meaning, a paradox -
have him to live, have him and die...
but the choice is mine, or so they say
and the sound of my body hitting the marble this time is enough...

once again, an icy touch is on my flesh and chills my veins -
his hands are cold at the thought of what may have been done
a good man, my father said, not good enough, quipped mom,
but maybe this time...

...he'll prove himself, by loving me as he should, he says -
though i can barely hear
now he holds me close instead of pushing me away
and the walls maintain their silence once again

(c) 2000 Krissi M.