Ah yes. The Flame. For those of you that do not know what a Flame is, it is a review of your fanfiction, usually blunt, rude and personally insulting. The writer of a Flame is called a Flamer, and will usually presumptuously tell you what is WRONG with your fic. Whatever is WRONG with your fic is usually only WRONG to the Flamer and in most cases, all of your other reviews are good.
I used to take Flames serious. But on other sites, the webmaster or web mistress would post those Flames that tried to hurt them and make fun of them. So I'm taking a page off of their site.... So here goes, my very first Flame.
WARNING! The Flame on this page is a unique, original work by the author. Dark Mistress Ivy has not deleted nor spell checked any of it.
I recently put up my first ever fanfic online. Like all new posters, I was both nervous for my baby and proud. I wasn't trying to write anything worthy of the Hellsing plot, just a little scenario to amuse myself. This is what I got back the first day it was posted:
Hellsfire.... this one's for you... >__<
Dark Mistess
Ivy,
The following review has been submitted to: Great Sex Calls for a Cigar
Chapter: 1
From:
Hellsfire
...*Cough* ... *Cough* Yeah, very good, well um... How in the world di
you come u pwith that? Are you insane or just extra bored. Warning,
this is not a flme, but just very flabergasted reader. (Since when did I
use that word) *Looks confused* Whatever, thought I'd just let you know
that was rather blunt and to the point. In my opinion, and in a lot of
other peoples opinion, you may have wanted to make it a little more
colorful, better vocabulary.rnOh well, your fic, not bad for a first
Hellsing fic, but not on a topic I would use.
Well,
Hellsfire, thank you very much for reading my story. And now, if you will,
I would like to make a list.
1. *Cough* ... *Cough* I'm sorry, do you have a cold?
2. Are you insane or just extra bored. Both.
3. Warning, this is not a flme, Uh, if you have to say that, it obviously is.
4. just very flabergasted reader. (Since when did I use that word) *Looks confused* I wouldn't know.
5. Whatever, thought I'd just let you know that was rather blunt and to the point. I didn't know Hellsing, sex, or Integra could be subtle.
6. In my opinion, and in a lot of other peoples opinion, Other peoples'? What are you part of a committee? How many people read my fic? Can I join?
7. you may have wanted to make it a little more colorful, You want me to make my font a different color every letter? Should I have used more cuss words?
8. better vocabulary I'll have you know that I had at least one big word... anonymity, that was it! And several other words that I actually used a thesaurus to find such as musky, quench, knickers, and chastity. So... so there.
9. well, your fic, My fic? Mine? Oh yeah, it is my fic, isn't it?
10. not bad for a first Hellsing fic, Oh well, thanks! That completely makes up for all the ripping you just gave me.
11. but not on a topic I would use Okay, next time I want to write a Hellsing fic, or hell, any fic at all, I'll ask you what topic I should write about just so you will enjoy it. Thanks again for reading! Buh-bye!