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LCARS
Library Computer Access and Retrieval System
A Monologue
Shawn Thornburg
I love the monologues that start off with the words "I don't know." And I also love to listen to people try to figure out how to say them right. I mean, how do you say it right if you don't have the right context? Y'know? You got your irritated "I DON'T KNOW!" and your confused "I don't know," and your whiny "I don't know," and your serious "I don't know," and all those other "I don't knows," and you have to choose which one to use but you just don't know which one to choose. And if you get the wrong one, you could screw up the whole monologue! Take Hamlet for example: "To be, or not to be;" you could make Hamlet sound like he's completely fed up if you put an "I don't know" in there and say it the wrong way. "To be, or not to be? That is the question. And I don't know!" See? You made Hamlet sound like a total idiot!
Where am I going with this? Well, quite frankly, I don't know. But is it really about knowing where I'm going? Or is it about being content in the knowledge that I don't have the knowledge that I need to know where I need to go--oh no, I've gone cross-eyed. (blink and shake head.)
So anyway--back to where I was. Where was I? Oh yeah! If you walk up to some lady on the street and say,"Hey, lady! I got a banana!" and she says,"Are you crazy?" what are you going to do? Huh? You could act normally and say,"No! I just got a banana!" or you could make her think you're crazy and say,"I don't know," or you could try to embarass her and say,"I don't know, lady! Leave me alone! I don't know!" It's your choice, so choose wisely. And the moral of this story is: exercise your freedom of choice, because otherwise, you just don't know.
  
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