Sat, 19 Feb 2000 


Vampires, Chocolates and Cousins......Oh My!
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by Deanie


      
< How do I let myself get talked into these things? > Vachon asked himself as 
he headed down the stairs of the morgue to the DNP HQ in the subbasement. He 
knew that whatever Deanie had planned, it couldn't be good. Sure, he had a 
lot of fun whammying Evil Cousin Tiff, he was nervously awaiting her revenge. 
  And now, the plot-happy DNP and DP had called him again. "The things I'll 
do for a T+V Pack story," he muttered. 
  
"Hi Vachon!" Deanie chirped. "Thanks for coming." 
  
"What is it this time?" he asked suspiciously. 
  
"Oh, I want you to give a gift to Renee." 
  
"Renee?" 
  
"You know, she's the 4everknightfanatics listmom." 
  
"Oh yeah, I know who she is. Isn't she another one of LaCroix's followers? 
You really need to learn to get along better with those Cousins." 
  
Deanie sighed. One could never have too high a level of suspicion when 
dealing with Cousins. But this time... "I want you to give her a present," 
she said, indicating the plastic-wrapped brownie on her entryway table. 
  
"You want me to give her a brownie?" Vachon asked incredulously. "That's it? 
  Is it drugged?" 
  
"I would never drug one of my friends!" she protested. "And it's not just a 
brownie." She handed him a hot pink styrofoam cup. "I want you to take her 
a mochaccino. It's my new recipe - extra-chocolately." 
  
"Aah," Vachon nodded. "You're trying to send her into sugar shock." 
  
"There is no devious plan here, Javier. Just a nifty snack for my good 
friend Renee." 
  
"Why?" 
  
"I want to show her how wonderful it is to be a Dark Perk. She's not one, 
you know." 
  
"She's not?" Vachon asked. "Why not? She doesn't like caffeine?" 
  
"Everyone likes caffeine," Deanie pointed out. 
  
"She doesn't like pink?" 
  
"Nope. She's fine with pink." 
  
"Then she doesn't like weapons," Vachon guessed. 
  
"Actually, she even has a revolver of her very own." 
  
"Then what?" Vachon asked. What other reason could there be for not being a 
Dark Perk? 
  
"She doesn't like Tracy." 
  
Vachon paled. He couldn't believe it. Was that even possible? This girl 
must be completely insane to not like his golden girl. "How could anyone not 
like Tracy?" 
  
"Well, the writers didn't do that great of a job with her character in the 
beginning. She did a lot of dumb things. Not everyone understands that the 
real-life Tracy isn't like that perky rookie she was portrayed as on TV." 
  
"She really doesn't like Tracy?" Vachon asked in askance. 
  
"You're not getting past that, are you?" Deanie noticed. 
  
"How could anyone not like Tracy?" He shook his head. "We'll have to do 
something about that." 
  
"Just bring her the brownie and coffee, okay?" Deanie cautioned. " Let's try 
bribery first." 
  
"If not..." he threatened. 
  
"Vachon!" she interrupted. "I'm not going to let you hurt my friends!" 
  
"I wouldn't hurt anyone. Just...persuade her a little..." 
  
"You mean whammy her," Deanie translated. 
  
"Can't I whammy her just a little?" 
  
"Brownie. Mochaccino. Only." 
  
"Right." He nodded. 
  
Noticing the suspicious gleam in his eye as he left, Deanie wondered if she 
should call Renee and warn her. "Nah, she'll be fine. Right?" 
  
To be continued... 
  
  
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