THE LIST MOMS' AILMENT  <sequel to Operation Nunkies Liberation!
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Renee and Valerie, April 6, 2000


After the fanatic accomplices left, Renee sat on the edge of her friend's
bed, calmly waiting for Valerie to awake from her drug-induced slumber.  She
looked around her friend's room, rolling her eyes at the tipped stack of
Barbra Streisand records.  She perused the shelf of videos, noting that
Valerie had *STILL* not taped those Forever Knight episodes for her like she
was supposed to.  Nay glanced at her watch, wondering when the sleeping
redhead was going to wake up.

When Valerie finally opened her eyes, Renee looked at her in a cold and
calculating manner.  "You tried to hurt Nunkies," she stated in a very low,
deadly voice. "And now, I  will KILL you for it!!!!  The last was screeched 
in a voice like fingernails on a chalk board.

Valerie sat up and laughed evilly, "Not if I kill you first- WITCH!"

Renee sprang from the bed and stood in the center of the room.  Valerie
jumped from the bed and lunged towards the devoted Cousin, gleefully wrapping
her hands around her best friend's throat.  Nay struggled to break free from
her iron grasp and eventually clasped her own hands around Valerie's throat.
They fought as though their lives depended on it, knocking over everything
that lay in their paths. Nay broke free and grabbed one of the Barbra
Streisand records that lay on the floor, snapping it in half.

Valerie's blue eyes turned to ice as she eyed the broken record."You......you
.........horrible person!!!!!!!!!" she hissed.

"I thought you didn't listen to Barbra anymore," the (SLIGHTLY) older fanatic
taunted, laughing as she picked up another record and snapped that one in 
half also.

"That was my 'Guilty' album you BEAST..............."
"So???" Renee shrugged her shoulders. "What do I care?  I'm a Beatles fan."

"That is the album that has the duet she does with Barry Gibb.......!! NOW 
YOU REALLY MUST DIE," she screamed, picking up the golf club she stole from 
her father because of the Nick golf scene in 'Only the Lonely'. She began 
swinging it, barely missing Nay's head several times. Hearing the commotion,
many of the Fanatics burst into the room, followed closely by Nick, Nunkies,
Janette and Vachon.

"What the hell is going on??" Nick demanded, grasping Valerie by the
shoulders and prying the golf club from her fingers as LaCroix restrained
Renee.  After they had been separated, Nunkies gazed into Renee's dark brown
eyes and demanded- "What has come over you?  You are trying to kill your
closest friend!  Are you mad?"

Nick looked at his devoted follower and said,"Absolutely! Valerie how could
you lock LaCroix in that horrible chamber?  That is so unlike you!  You hate
the sun, why would you torture LC like that?" Not waiting for a response he
looked at the woman his master held at bay and quietly said,  "Renee, I am
disappointed in you.........!!! How could you possibly suspect Deanie of 
being an accomplice to this atrocity- you are both acting very much out of 
character."

"Go to hell!" Renee spat at the angsty vampire.

Valerie looked at everyone in the room and shouted "All of you shall DIE!!"
The door slammed closed as the two list moms began to laugh evilly. Everyone
looked positively bewildered.

Suddenly the door to the room was kicked in.  In a swirling mist there stood
Deanie. Armed with a Bible, cross, two small teletubby dolls, various and
sundry potions, she shouted, "DEMONS BE GONE!"

Everyone turned to look at Deanie, who was looking VASTLY tough in a black
leather duster and wearing reflective shades.  A  shiny silver stethoscope
hung from her neck and the white of her lab coat peeked out from underneath 
the black duster. Deanie looked grim as she addressed the room.

"I was really hurt that Renee could think I would do something as evil as 
lock LC in that horrible chamber. And I have to admit I was puzzled by Val's
sudden evilness.........when it all fell into place.  Jade wasn't possessed
by one demon, but two.  Those demons have found a new home in Renee and 
Valerie.  They are victims of Demonic Possession.

A loud clap of thunder shook the castle as a flash of lightening lit the
room.  The floor beneath them began to quake as power flowed through the
room.  The lights in the castle flickered on and off.

"We must exorcise them NOW," Deanie shouted over the loud din of the storm.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Valerie and Renee screamed as their heads began to spin.

"I will save them!"  Deanie said, "because I am Deanie, Queen of Angst and
all around Good Girl!"

..........to be continued...............