Okay, Renee asked for silliness, and I really tried. I think that maybe she 
just got stupidity instead. Anyhoo, here it goes. 

  
Evil Perry, Part 9 
By Elise 
  
       Using her vampiric abilities, Jody, with Urs behind her, whooshed back 
to the Raven. The two of them landed in an alley behind the Raven. 
Actually, Jody landed on her butt. "Ouch!" she exclaimed. 
      Sensitive Ursula, didn't laugh at Jody like many vampires would. "Are 
you okay?" she asked. 
      "Yeah, Perry taught me how to fly. He makes great four point landings, 
but I can't manage to land on all fours gracefully like he does," she hung 
her head. 
      "Well, I'll leave you for now," Urs told her. "I have to get back to 
my dancing. LaCroix will dock my pay if I'm late from break. Toodles!" 
      Slowly, Jody threaded her way to the back room of the Raven where Perry 
was waiting for her. LaCroix, having just finished his show - tonight's 
topic being "Parents and Their Children in a Humane Society: What is Your 
Bone of Contention?" - , joined her as she entered. 
        "And just what was that piece of garbage you were talking about 
tonight, LaCroix?" Perry demanded. 
      LaCroix raised his oh-so-elegant eyebrow. (Secretly, Jody wished hers 
were as finely plucked.) "Excuse me?" he asked. "Where you talking to me?" 
LaCroix couldn't believe this lowly carouche would dare criticize him. 
       "Yes," Perry hissed. His eyes grew red; His growl became growlier. 
The beast within the beast was beginning to show. "You were making fun of 
me and my master-fledgling tonight on your show! You were making fun of my 
canininity as well as the fact that were are carouches!" Perry stood up on 
his hind legs making himself taller. "You, Lucien LaCroix, are an 
obnoxious, rude, racist, evil, twisted, sick, vicious, elitist, disgusting, 
lascivious, ill-mannered SOB!" 
        LaCroix gave Perry a long, cool look down his aristocratic nose. 
"So?" he intoned sonorously. 
       Suddenly, Perry was at loss for words. He dropped back down onto all 
fours. 
       "I think we should leave," Jody mumbled. "Nick is expecting us at 
seven." 
        Perry shot a definitely evil look at LaCroix. He gathered all of his 
canine dignity around him and started for the door. "I shall return," he 
threatened the elder vampire. 
        LaCroix threw out his arm in a most graceful gesture and pointed 
towards the exit. "As my dear friend Will would have said, `Out damned 
spot!'" 
        As the door closed behind the carouche duo, LaCroix fell to the couch 
in helpless laughter. 
* * * * * * * * * * * * 
      Jody and Perry landed on the roof of Nick's loft. Carefully, they 
peered in through the skylight. Nick and Natalie sat cuddled together on 
the couch together watching television. The Sound of Music filled the wide 
screen television and the air as well. The wannabe lovers were singing 
happily along, if a bit off key. "Rain drops on roses and whiskers on 
kittens." 
      "Kittens! Ummmm!" thought Perry. His long, slobbery tongue licked his 
chops. With a flick of his tail, he beckoned Jody to follow him into the 
loft. 
      "Jody! Perry!" exclaimed Nick. "Golly, you guys surprised us. Would 
you like a snack?" 
      "I don't think we've met," Natalie informed their drop-in guests. Her 
jealousy was obvious. 
      Nick grinned. "Nat, this is Jody. She worked as a police dispatcher 
before Perry there" - He pointed to the dog who was busily sniffing at Nat's 
jeans. - "brought her across." 
      "You were brought across by a dog?" Natalie asked in disbelief. 
      "Yeah," Jody answered, "Perry was my seeing eye dog, but." She stopped 
suddenly as she saw that Perry was now licking the legs of Nat's jeans. 
      "Perry!" Jody shouted. "Stop that!" She moved to retrieve the 
retriever. "Natalie doesn't want you slobbering all over the front of he 
jeans!" she scolded. 
      Perry looked up at his one time master now his fledgling. "No, she 
wants Nick to do that," Perry announced. 
      "Perry!" Jody shouted. She looked at their host in complete 
embarrassment. 
      Nick and Natalie were grinning at each other like fools. 
      "I smelled you cat," Perry explained. 
      "Er, uh, thanks, I think." Natalie suddenly developed a great dislike 
for this doggie, and she moved behind Nick for protection. 
      Jody glared at her dog-master. "Nick, I've discovered a warehouse by 
the lake where there are some really strange goings on and." 
      "How about that snack, now?" Perry interrupted her. He had trotted 
over and claimed Nick's couch and remote control. "Stupid musicals," he 
muttered as he flipped the channels around. "Ah, Scooby Doo," he sighed 
when an acceptable show came on. 
      "What does a vampire dog eat?" asked Natalie. "Bushes Baked Beans?" 
She giggled. 
      " `Roll that beautiful bean footage!' I love that commercial," Nick 
called out. He and Natalie promptly fell into fits of laughter. Perry 
growled at them from the couch. 
      "This is serious, you guys!" Jody burst out. The room instantly 
quieted down, and everyone and the dog gave Jody their full attention. "The 
warehouse is a center for drugs and kiddie porn!" she exclaimed. 
      "Those are serious charges," Nick stated sternly. He rubbed his hand 
across his chin. "Are you sure? Where is this warehouse?" 
      Jody nodded. "Down by the water front." 
      "Wait a minute," Nat said. "Is it a small place where a bunch of wild 
cats run in a pack?" 
      "That's it," Jody stated seriously. 
      Nat shook her head and laughed. "I think you're mistaken. It's not a 
`kiddie porn' place. It's `Kittie Korn'." 
      "Huh?" 
      "What?" 
      "Bark?" 
      "The place use to be a pet grooming salon that specialized in cats. It 
was called `Kittie Korner,' but the `ER' part fell off the sign so everyone 
just started calling it `Kittie Korn.' I used to take Sydney there all the 
time." 
      "What happened?" Nick asked with great concern. He truly loved Sydney. 
      Natalie shrugged. "Several rather bad kitties got loose and terrorized 
the patrons and workers. They finally just closed the place." 
      "But what about the drugs?" asked Jody. She was so sure she had a 
tough case. 
      "Catnip," Natalie explained patiently. "It's like cocaine for cats." 
  
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