xover:Inner Fire and The Light (14/16)
Jeannie Ecklund, Aug 17, 2000


They stood and LaCroix took Nick's offered arm, gratefully.  Nick felt
his father lean hard on him.  "Are you sure you can make it back?  I
could go get the car and drive you back," he offered.

"No...  I'll make it.  I need to start exercising."

They started slowly and as they walked, Nick said, "I am so sorry you
must go through all this.  I feel I should be there more for you, but
Natalie needs me right now."

"Nicholas, you are right to spend your time with her.  I have interfered
too much already.  I am warmed that she even looks at me with
compassion."

"Natalie loves with great empathy.  From the moment she saw me in
her morgue, she looked for the good in me.  It was my salvation."

LaCroix agreed, "Yes, she is very special."

"What about you, Father?  You and Janette loved as man and wife once.
You could let it happen again."

LaCroix looked a bit surprised. "You knew?"

"We, also, lived as husband and wife. We shared blood.  You were always
there in her mind.  It made me jealous for a time.  I think
that's why I finally left.  As much as she loved me, and I know she did,
you were always there in her heart.  She never thought of you as a
"father".  You were her master, but also, her man. I hope you can find
your way back to each other."

LaCroix admitted to Nick. "We already have done so.  We have talked, and
we have decided to date."

"What?" Nick exclaimed, excitement in his voice.  He hugged LaCroix,
surprising the older man.  "That's wonderful, Father."

LaCroix held Nick to him.  "Thank you for your kindness, Nick.  I owe
you everything."

They had stopped at the stairs to the mobile home.  "Thank you, Father,
but the Lord did much for all of us. We have a new life.  You see
yourself as weak, but I see great strength.  It takes a lot of courage
to admit doing wrong, and ask forgiveness... great courage."
Janette opened the door. "There you are!  I wondered where  you had
gotten off too.  Dinner is ready."   She came down the steps.

Nick hugged LaCroix and then Janette.  "Tomorrow we'll talk about
getting the trainer here.  He's well versed in physical therapy, and he
can help you begin to regain your strength.  It will make you feel
whole again."

"That sound good, Nicholas.  Good night," he said, taking Janette's
arm.  Together, they climbed the steps.  While Nick hurried toward the
house to check on Natalie.

LaCroix turned to watch his son enter the big house and then gazed up at
the last rays of the sunset.  Janette watched with him. "I will never
tire of looking at the colors in the sunsets," she said.

"Nor  I," he agreed. "I talked to Nicholas.  I was able to get a few
burdens off my chest, as humans say."

She smiled. "WE are human now," she reminded him.

"Quite right, " he said, as they turned to enter their house and head
for dinner.

Nick went up the stairs two at a time and found Natalie still asleep.
He pulled his shoes off, crawled under the covers and snuggled up to
her, nuzzling her ear and neck.

She smiled, sleepily, and turned toward him, but her eyes stayed closed.

Nick kissed her gently.  "I talked to father tonight.  He told me about
the hospital visit."

Natalie's eyes flew open and she searched his face to see if he was
angry.  She saw that he was a little hurt. "Forgive me, Nick. He only
came to see if I was okay.  It scared me, but only for a moment.  I
realized that no harm would come to me."

Nick pressed a kiss to her lips. "Shh...  It's okay.  It's past.  I
won't allow my former life to mess us up now.
It's hard for LaCroix.  He's battling centuries of guilt... his body is
weak.  Really, it's frustrating him more than it's angering him.  He's
been in control of his whole existence, and now control has slipped from
his grasp. I don't know that I can counsel him properly. I'm still
learning so much myself."

"Nick, that's Pop's job. They'll be back tomorrow.  It's why Joe is here
to help us all.  He's got more experience with life... human life...
than any of us."

"When he comes back, I will be glad to see him.  I know its only been a
couple days, but he's like a rock around here and I've grown to depend
on him."

"Make sure you tell him that,"  She suggested.  Suddenly she turned to
Nick and asked, "Nick, when LaCroix tells you about his guilt, how do
you feel?"

Nick pulled away from his wife and sat on the edge of the bed.

Natalie moved up behind him and laid her cheek against his back. "He's
done some horrendous things to you. It's all right to be angry about
them."

"How can I be angry, Nat?  Do I have the right to hate him for the
things he did.  It wasn't even him, really... it was the demon."

"Maybe not hate, Nick, but you can be angry.  I don't think anger is a
sin.  After all, Christ became angry with the money changers in the
Temple. He drove them out with a whip. That's not a passive reaction...
and God counted him sinless when he went to the cross.

There is a lot of anger and pain between the two of you, yet you have
always loved each other. That's why you accepted his offer to become
what he was.  Your love and need for him has always been the reason,
Nick.  You were searching for a master, and you picked the wrong one.
For you both to heal, you are going to have to share it with him."

"Nat, he has so much to deal with."

Natalie said, "Maybe if you continue to tell him how you felt about what
he did to you, it will help you both.  You can forgive him and let it
go."

"If he's new in Christ, wouldn't the Lord have forgiven him for it
all already? How can I drag it up?"

"The Lord forgave him.  He knows that. He just needs to hear it from
you, too.  We all have to come to the point when we can forgive each
other. I know it hurt to hear some things tonight, but don't you feel
better now? It's been washed away by the crystal clear tears you both
shed together.  When we allowed your father to come here, we accepted a
huge responsibility, but it's been worth it already, Nick."

He smiled at her and turned to gather her close to his chest. "It's
hard, but it's wonderful to have him here. I would not have been able to
live with myself if we hadn't tried."

"I know," she said soothingly. "Come to bed, my Love."

She helped him undress, and he climbed in beside her.  She laid her
cheek on his shoulder and let herself drift off to sleep.

Nick listened to her steady breathing for a while before letting himself
drift off.

***
Joe and Grace were feeding each other chocolate strawberries and cream
as they lounged in the spa/tub again.  They hadn't left the penthouse
since their arrival.  They'd basked in the luxury of it all and tended
to each other.

"Joe, I've waited years to be with you like this," Grace confessed as
she ran her hand over his chest.

"Years? You've said that before, but what are we really talking about?"
he asked, returning the caress.

"Remember that night three years ago? The one where I was put on a case
instead of Natalie while she was gone for a few days on a conference to
Alberta?"

"It was a horrible murder... a child.  I was pretty green on field cases,
and you were  in charge of the scene.  You saw my distress and
followed me when I had bolted behind some bushes.  I was gasping for
breath, and I must have hyperventilated.  Next thing I knew, you were
there. Your arms were wrapped around me. Your voice was calming me. I
was so embarrassed I could barely say, 'Thank you', before I had to get
back to the job at hand."

"Joe, yours were the first man's arms that had held me since my husband
died. It was such a comfort, and I could not help but love you for it.
You never lectured me about it or even mentioned it again. You just let
me be at peace, and I was so grateful.... I prayed that I would be able
to repay you for that some day."

Joe remembered that night.  Two hours earlier, he'd  found out about
Denise.  He'd needed that comfort just as much as Grace had that night.
Afterwards, he'd felt guilty about taking comfort in the arms of another
woman.  He shared this with her now, as they gently caressed each other.
Grace smiled... she leaned in and kissed him.

"I knew you were a married man just coming to a lady in distress.
Still, it sparked a  powerful need in me.  For several weeks after that,
I often found myself thinking of you... dreaming about us.  I finally had
to force the thoughts away because I had to work with you.  I ached for
you when Denise died.  I knew she was your life."

Joe pulled his new wife against him. She laid her cheek against his
chest.  The warm water in the pool caressed them and made them feel as
if they were in a cocoon.  Grace started to hum "Amazing Grace."

She felt Joe's body jump as if a jolt of electricity had hit him.  He
whispered over her head. "It was YOU in the cemetery! You're the one who
held me after that fiasco with my daughters.  You gave me more comfort
than I have ever known.  I needed it desperately."

Grace felt hot tears run down her neck and she realized they were
Joe's.  "YOU were my angel!"

She drew back. "What?"

"I thought an angel had come and wrapped me in her arms that night.  I
heard an angel sing to me.  One moment I was alone, and the next, an
angel held me.  I've wondered about it many times.  Why didn't you tell
me?"

Grace blushed. "I was wondering if you would figure it out for
yourself." She shrugged, "It just never came up."

"It's strange, isn't it," Joe said, ?that we were there for each other
on several occasions when our need was greatest.  Now we can spend the
rest of our lives together.  God truly is good..."

***

Nick woke the next morning and found that Natalie wasn't in bed.  He sat
up and looked around the room.  Empty.  He grabbed his robe and bounded
down the stairs to find Natalie sitting with LaCroix on the couch before
the fireplace.  She had one of her hands over his hand which rested
against her stomach.

Curious, Nick came forward in time to witness a transformation cross his
father's face.  The older man's features softened, and awe filled his
countenance.  Nick realized that one of the babies must have moved and
bumped against his father's hand.

"That's amazing," LaCroix said. His face was alive with emotion.

Nick sat on the couch arm behind LaCroix and put his hand on his
father's shoulder.  "Yes... It is amazing.  Perhaps one day you and
Janette could..."

LaCroix stood, fear crossing his face.  Suddenly, he turned and ran out
of the door and down the steps before Nick could even call after him.

Natalie shook her head sadly. "Nick!"  she said, an admonishment in
her voice.

"What did I say?  They could have a child..."

"Nick, he loved Divia and look what she became.  Think of what she did
to him and his family.  Think how it must have hurt him when he had to
destroy her.  Don't you think that ripped out his heart?"

Nick shook his head, mentally kicking himself. "I'd better go find him
and apologize."  He leaned to kiss her, letting his chin rest against
her forehead for a moment.  He inhaled her scent.  It always seemed to
calm him.  He sucked in a deep breath and went to find LaCroix.

When Nick finally found LaCroix, he was sitting on Joe's big rock.  He
sat beside him, "Forgive my thoughtless comment?" he asked, leaning
until he could rub LaCroix's thin shoulder.

"No, Nick... don't feel bad.  The idea is a wonderful one.  I just don't
know if I could ever have the courage.  I didn't love Divia's mother.
She was a madam in a house of ill repute."

"Really?"  Nick said, his eyebrow raising.

"I was seldom around.  I wasn't there to instill any values in the
child, and she ran wild.  Maybe what happened to Divia was my fault.  I
wasn't there to keep her safe."

"Father, it would be different this time.  You know how much Janette
would like to have  a baby.  She never spoke much about it, but when
Daniel was with us, she thought of him as her child."

"You are right, Nicholas.  She would love to have a baby. Technically,
she's only in her middle 20's."  He squirmed.  "To tell you the truth,
the thought of a baby turns me to mush... and the fear overwhelms me.
Still, it is something to ponder."

"Come on back to the house, Father.  Nat's worried about you, and we
need to have breakfast soon because the trainer is coming in an hour."

LaCroix looked at him. "I am looking forward to regaining some control
over this body.  It will be good to start a regimen of training."  He
laughed a rare laugh and looked sternly at Nick. "Nicholas, I forbid
you to laugh at me when I falter and, perhaps, fall on my butt."

Nick grinned at him and pretended to close his lips with an invisible
zipper. "Not a word," he said.  He grabbed LaCroix by the arms, and
they headed back to the house.

end part 14 

***** Jeannie Ecklund ***** gersknightlady@cs.com