xover: Inner Fire and The Light (13/16)
Jeannie Ecklund, Aug 17, 2000

The huge living room had comfortable, overstuffed furniture and a big
fireplace with lush carpets.  Flowers here and there made the room
softly beautiful.  The place had marble floors and huge windows that
overlooked the city giving them a gloriously glittering view.

There was a fully stocked kitchen and a beautiful, intimate dining area.
The door to the bedroom revealed a huge, four poster bed, draped in rich
hunter green and Champagne.

Grace squealed in delight when the bathroom door was opened.  A massive,
sunken hot tub took up half the huge bathroom.  It would almost qualify
for a small swimming pool.

All ready a bottle of champagne stood iced near the steaming pool.  Two
soft, white terrycloth robes were laid over a wide lounge chair.

"Look," Grace pointed, "Our names are embroidered on the pockets."

Joe shook his head.  "Nick's too much!  This is wonderful.  I just wish
I could have given you this.  I hate to keep taking from Nick."

Grace smiled and came close to kiss him. "I understand why you feel that
way, Joe, but this gives him pleasure, and he's led such a long life
without pleasure.  We have to be graceful enough to accept it.  You
might not realize it, but you have given him much as well.  We will both
be there for them now and for the babies.  That's how we can, and will,
give back."

The was a knock at the door.  Joe looked at Grace and shrugged. He went
to get it.  It was room service with a huge cart full of covered
plates for their dinner.  "Compliments of Mr. and Mrs. Knight," the
young man informed them.  "Enjoy."  He wheeled the cart to the dining
table and then left.

Joe took a rose from the vase in the middle of the cart and gave it to
his bride as he kissed her.  She held it to her nose and inhaled the
gentle fragrance.

Joe grinned. "Shall we see what they brought us?"

He and Grace dove into the trays with delight.  They uncovered a dish
of chocolate dipped strawberries.  Another held crackers, cheese, and
caviar.  There were also small fillet mignon steaks with baked potatoes
and vegetables. They enjoyed every bite of their meal.

After dinner, they took the strawberries, and a bowl of whipped cream
from the fridge, to the pool in the bathroom. They shyly undressed each
other and slipped into the water.  For several minutes, the pair fed
each other strawberries, sometimes using them to draw with the whipped
cream on the other?s neck or face, and then licking it off.

Eventually, the newlyweds made love for the first time as the warm water
caressed them.  Afterward, they held each other for a while, then
lovingly bathed each other.  Finally, Joe climbed out and slid into his
robe, then held his hand out to Grace who stepped out and into her robe
as well.

He guided her to the bed, and they gently explored each other again,
touching and caressing.  They made love again, and finally sated, they
fell asleep.

 *****

Back at 'Saving Grace', in the mobil home, LaCroix found he was unable
to sleep.  He slipped into his black silk robe and tied the belt
securely.  Stepping into some comfortable shoes, he walked out into the
night.

It all seemed so different now.  The night used to be full of sights and
sounds that only a vampire could hear and see.  Now the shadows were
dark and menacing.  He could no longer see in the dim light,  yet he
felt his mind clear and he looked around with his human senses.

The air was cool, with a hint of rain.  He realized he could smell the
damp dirt and the green grass.  Also, there was the sweet fragrance from
the garden flowers nearby.  He glanced up at the sky and saw a few stars
though the clouds.  He would have soared into the night if he could
have.  At times like this, he really regretted the loss of the vampire's
ability to fly.

Lucas heard the door open behind him and the sound of footsteps. A warm
hand snaked over his shoulder, a chin rested on his arm, and another arm
came around his waist. "Good evening, Janette," he whispered.  He could
smell her perfume and feel her beautiful, soft skin on his neck where
her fingers had come to rest.

Janette asked in a soft whisper, "Are you all right?"

He turned toward her and slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her
close to him. "Just enjoying the night...  learning the different senses
a human has.  We gain about as much as we lose, I think..."   He turned
to face her.

They had been vampire lovers hundreds of years before they met Nick,
though they'd never told him about that. LaCroix leaned forward and
kissed her gently. Her hand slipped higher, burying itself in his hair.

He drew back.  "It's very different, isn't it?  I cannot feel your
thoughts or sense your blood, yet there is a great satisfaction in the
touch and taste of you. It's new... and very pleasurable."

"Oui, it is... very pleasurable."  She drew him back down for a deeper
kiss.

Finally, LaCroix pulled back again.  "Are you sure this is what you
want, Janette?"

"Oui, Lucus, I want it so very much."  She moved away.  "But I also want
to go to dinners, movies, dancing... do the whole dating thing."

"Really?"  he said.  A twinkle came into his eyes.  He bowed.  "As the
Lady wishes."

"Really, Lucus!  Really?" She queried.

"Yes, really."  He touched her chin with a finger. "It's a good
beginning for us, Janette.  We are human now.  We should do as humans
do.  We shall date."

She giggled with delight.

LaCroix smiled.  "As soon as I get strong enough, we will go to the
city, and buy new clothes.  I want to get rid of my  black garments.  We
will see those movies, and so many other things."  He drew Janette back
against his chest, holding her tenderly.

"I find it so amazing that God would care who I was after all the
atrocities I have committed.  My heart feels so new and clean."

Janette murmured her agreement, shivering against him from the
coolness of the night.

LaCroix looked down and could see by the porch light that her thin white
arms were full of goose bumps.  "Come, we must go back inside. You're
cold, and it's time to sleep."

They looked up again at the stars and then headed inside and to their
own rooms.

The day after the wedding they helped move all of Grace's things to
Joe's house.  Patrick and Charity stayed to help set up the nursery.

They set up the  bassinets in Nick and Natalie's room and the cribs
in the babies' room.  They painted the room a light yellow with white
trim because the young parents wanted everything to be full of light.

Charity helped put up the lace curtains.  There were bunnies on Lucy's
side and bears for Joey's side of the room.

As they worked, Natalie learned that Patrick and Charity had gotten
married when they were very young.  They had kids right away and
had lived in tiny parishes the whole time.  Their kids were all married
or going to college now, leaving them on their own again. They had only
recently found out about the cancer, and that it had already
metastasized.

Yesterday's miracle had strengthened her faith, making it new and
fresh.  She worked all day and felt healthy and strong. She cooked for
the group, and they ate before the couple had to head back down the
mountain toward home.  Their hosts asked them to come back anytime.

With Grace and Joe gone, LaCroix and Janette had planned to watch a
movie at their place. The angels had left, leaving the two soon-to-be
parents with the house to themselves.

That evening, they sat cuddling, gently kissing and just being close.
After awhile, they took a short walk around the yard.  Finally, Nick got
Natalie to go on up to bed, then returned downstairs to sit alone for a
few minutes.

LaCroix appeared at the door. "Nicholas, may I speak with you?" he
asked.

"Sure, Father. Come on in."  Nick answered.

LaCroix asked, "Mind if we walk a bit?  The night is so beautiful."

Nick opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.  "Of course... I
would like that."  He knew LaCroix's strength hadn't fully returned yet
so he offered his arm, and his father took it gratefully. They descended
the steps and strolled down the drive.

"How are you, Father?"  Nick asked.

"I?m doing good, Nicholas, but I?m still weak... and perhaps a bit
scared. I would not want to go back."  He took a deep breath, "I want to
tell you something, Nicholas... something I told Natalie months ago...
the first night she was in the hospital."

Nick looked at him  in surprise. "You were still in Toronto?"  He felt
himself shiver.  "She should have told me."

"Do not be angry with Natalie.  I would not have hurt her, and she
realized that."

Nick found that he was still a bit hurt. "What do you want to say?"

"All those years I tortured you because you wanted to be human... it
was frustration more than anger." He stopped and turned to his son. "I
had tried, a good part of my first several hundred years, to find a
cure."

"What?"  Nick felt anger rising to the surface. "You tortured me for
something you did yourself ?"

"I did not want to see you suffer as I did."

"Why not just tell me?" Nick had moved away.

"That's the hard part.  I couldn't tell you.  I did not wish you to see
any weakness in me.  I felt that I had to be strong.  I was Roman.  This
was what I had lived with all my human life... be strong.  You were my
child, and like a soldier under my watch.  I saw it no differently.  You
told me the night I became human that all was forgiven, but you cannot
forgive what you do not know. I need you to hear my transgressions.
Then you must decide if I am truly forgiven."

Nick turned back to him, ready to yell out his anger, but when he saw
that tears were streaking down his father's face. He grabbed him and
held him close.

The older man sobbed against him. "Nicholas, please don't hate me.  I
should have told Natalie to tell you.  I was different then.  I was so
seldom in control those last years, and  when I was, I always fell back
on my training as a Roman officer.  The only time I felt close to
regaining a part of myself was when we became close those last months
before I left."

Nick held the older man as the sobs wracked his body.  He did not see
this as weak, but as a step in a direction that could heal them all.
There was so much guilt in LaCroix.  Guilt was something he certainly
understood.  He had expressed his guilt to others thousands of times
over the centuries, but  LaCroix had always held his inside.

Nick felt his anger fade.  Tess had told him that LaCroix would have a
lot to deal with. He knew how guilt could overpower you and take on a
life of its own.  Being saved might make you not guilty before God, but
forgiving yourself... that often took a great deal of time.

When they had been vampires, they shared blood and the things they
wanted each other to know was there for the reading. Nothing had needed
to be spoken aloud. The older vampires often had developed some
shielding to their innermost thoughts, though, and Nick had never been
able to read LaCroix very well.  He'd only seen touches of his regret
and pain.  Now it washed over him in waves as he held his father close.
Nick prayed for strength to deal with the things that LaCroix would
eventually tell him.  Things that might come up later that he would feel
a need to confess.

"Father, shhh...  please just let it go.  It's okay.  Come... let's just
sit together for a while." They had battled for so long, tearing at each
other many times. Nick wanted to put  all that behind him now, and start
new. He knew, thought, that it wouldn?t be easy or quick.

"Father, I?ve never stopped loving you," Nick said.  He took
LaCroix's trembling hand in his.  "There is a saying: If you love
something, let it go.  If it comes back to you, it is yours forever.
There were times I missed you so much that my heart would ache.  Times I
headed back to you, only to have you catch me before I got there, and
then you would beat me half to death. I needed space to be an adult, and
you always treated me as a child."

LaCroix  raised Nick's hand to his cheek. "Forgive me," he said.
"Nicholas, how will we get past all this? The weakness eats at me, and I
have so little strength.  I am an open book, with no emotional
control.  I feel like a sniveling baby.  I no longer recognize myself."

Nick slipped an arm around his shoulder. "It's going to take time."

"It didn't take time for Charity.  In moments she went from being sick to
being beautiful and  healthy."

Nick explained, "God's ways are different for each person.  Charity has
served God most of her life."

"Do you thing it's a punishment  to make me learn humility?"

"Punishment?" Nick repeated, thoughtfully.  "I don't think so.   Maybe a
consequence.  If a man smokes 40 years and then quits, it's not a
punishment that he gets cancer anyway. It's a result of abusing his
body all those years. Years of possession has changed us."

LaCroix turned to Nick.  "The years didn't change you  much.  You fought
against your vampire nature all those years. The Lord knows that.  I
allowed it to consume me.  You were a bright sun.  Despite all the odds
against you, you persevered.  You were always in search of good.  I see
that you have been blessed much, and it warms my heart that you have
Natalie and your babies on the way."

"Thank you, Father" Nick told the older man. He saw the weariness in his
father's eyes.  "Come, I should be getting back to Natalie and you need
to rest."

end part 13 

*****  Jeannie Ecklund  *****  jecklund@lightspeed.net