Don't own 'em and don't make any money off 'em....but we care a whole lot more about 'em them Sony/TriStar ever did. We make sure they have some fun. What REALLY Happened Behind Closed Doors **************************************** Teri DeLong ....'Nay grabbed the doorknob...Locked. She fumbled through her pockets and came up with the castle keys, mumbling under her breath..."Gotta stop this..Gotta stop this...Gotta stop this...Before..." A hand closed around hers, taking the keys from her, Vachon quickly found the correct one, and opening the door, he entered, closing and locking the door behind him.......... Vachon slid the bolt home in the deadlock, dropped the safety chain in place and stepped back for a moment. He noticed the thick metal brackets bolted to the wall on either side of the door and a sly smirk made his eyes sparkle as he effortlessly picked up the massive oak beam and dropped it into place across the door. Just LET them try to get in now!!! He turned slowly and his smile broadened as it fell on the room's two occupants. LaCroix and Nick Knight sat upon the bed, the picture of innocence, although it was obvious enough to the Spaniard that Nick was fighting hard to hide a smile. "You should SEE their faces!!!" exclaimed Vachon in a stage whisper."Whooo-boy! I wish I had a camera!!!!" He almost choked on the laughter that threatened to bubble out past his self-control, especially when the two other vampires started babbling questions at him. "Where the hell have you been?" "Did you get it?" "What took you so long??" "What TOOK me so long??"Vachon feigned tired aggravation. "I had to fly to five different places to find this stuff! It wasn't easy to find on such short notice!" "Short notice!"scoffed Nick."What happened to your 'Time is relative' attitude?" "Uh-huh," replied Vachon. "You tell that to the store owners that close up shop before sundown! There aren't a lot of all-night practical joke shops in the area!" "Well???"repeated LaCroix."Did you get it???" Vachon let the Master Vampire stew for a moment while he just blinked at him in ornery amusement before slowly drawing a package out from under his leather jacket. LaCroix's eyes lit up and he fairly leapt across the room, stopping in front of the dark haired vamp. He rolled his ice-blue eyes expressively toward the locked and barred door and moaned suggestively. "Oh Vachon!" he said, his enunciation exaggeratedly loud and clear. "I'm SO glad you're here! I want what you've got! Please PLEASE give it to me!" He followed this up with another seductive moan for good measure, and Vachon played along with a loud whimper, placing the package in LaCroix's extended hand. All three vampires very clearly heard the collective gasps of horror from the assembled Fanatics on the other side of the door, and Nick lost his feeble control. With both hands clasped tightly over his mouth he rolled in a helpless fit of laughter, rolling himself right off the bed by accident. The resounding THUMP as he hit the floor elicited more horrified cries outside in the hallway. "What's going on?" Came the muffled cry through the door. *POUND POUND POUND* "WE'VE GOT TO GET IN THERE!" LaCroix opened the package and drew in his breath in awed admiration at the sinister black coils of the bullwhip in his hands. The fine eyebrows arched with evil pleasure as he shook out the loops and cracked it experimentally. It hissed and snapped so nicely, he did it again, then looked at Vachon with unhidden glee. Vachon shrieked as if in pain and then cried out,"Oh! Do it again!" The whip cracked again. And again. The vampires were really enjoying themselves too much as they sent repeated screams of "YES!" and "MASTER" echoing throughout the castle. "'Nay DO SOMETHING!!!!" voices screamed from the other side of the door. "VACHON TOOK THE KEYS!!!!" "SO. KICK THE DOOR DOWN LIKE YOU DID BEFORE!" Nick was about to explode trying so hard to muffle the sound of his laughter, his usual pasty white complexion was almost purple with contained mirth. The sounds that did escape past his hands were mere gasps and grunts, adding nicely to the atmosphere they were creating. The howls of dismay in the hallway were increasing in volume. "Oh, this is TOO rich!" wheezed LaCroix, gasping for breath himself."We really should have thought of this on the 1st!" "No,"Vachon shook his head, sending the long dark hair dancing."They wouldn't have fallen for it then." "No, they wouldn't,"agreed Nick regaining a little of his composure. "Any more than they fell for that ridiculous idea that Deanie would denounce me and drool over you, LaCroix." "I beg your pardon?" LaCroix thought about being offended for a moment."I fail to see anything ridiculous about that notion. It would only stand to reason that my obvious charms had finally won her over." Nick ogled his ancient Master in silence for a second before bursting into giggles again. "You didn't actually FALL for her April Fool's joke, did you???" LaCroix's disapproving silent stare gave his answer and Nick dissolved into hysterics once more. "Nicholas...!" began LaCroix advancing on the bed holding the whip menacingly. Suddenly there was a loud sobbing moan from the direction of the door where Vachon still lounged nonchalantly. Both Vampires turned to look, startled out of their current train of thoughts. Vachon blinked back, innocently wide-eyed, then casually moved one arm slightly. Another long sensual moan escaped from somewhere under his jacket. Nick immediately fractured into hysterics as LaCroix descended upon the Spaniard, practically ripping the item out from under his arm. It looked like a harmless little pillow, but in his efforts to bring it out into the light, it shrieked and moaned and sobbed as if tortured. "A sexual whoopie cushion!!!" cried LaCroix once he gotten past the uncontrollable guffaws. The new toy was promptly twisted and wrenched and poked and prodded in every way imaginable, each time causing it to produce a different sexually suggestive sound. Nick had completely given up on any hope of self composure and was once again rolling in agonized jubilation. As LaCroix turned back toward the door, settling on a particularly disgusting squelching sound from the poor abused pillow, Nick and Vachon collapsed in helpless joviality, both wiping tears. From outside the door, the pounding quieted and somebody muttered,"Oh I think I'm going to be sick." "Think I'll go to my room." "Why didn't Abra STOP this? A little cold water and ...." ******** "Oro..???" Abra's head snapped up as the voice monitors kicked in, indicating a potential problem. Intently engrossed in installing a new gizmo under the control panel of the incredible Ice-water Vat, she hadn't noticed anything amiss. But, oddly enough, there were no alarms going off....no flashing warning lights, only the normal sounds of the Vat burbling and chuckling electronically to itself as it hovered on it's anti-grav boosters. Silver- blue eyes scanned the various and multiple digital readouts and guages. No, she wasn't overlooking anything.......there *weren't* any signs of the usual problems that would necessitate her specialized intervention. She listened to the frantic voices being piped into her speaker system. The Fanatics were obviously on about somthing. Abra stood, whirling in place as she scanned the control room again, her long purple braid swinging freely behind her. Could there be a malfunction? Something not registering correctly? She tapped the guage in front of her and quickly activated the self-diagnosis mechanism. After barely a moment, the Vat assured its inventor that it was functioning within normal parameters. Her brows furrowed in puzzlement, and she instructed the voice monitor to replay the previous few minutes of the current agitated conversation. She listened quietly, noting with real concern how the panic and horror levels fluctuated wildly in the voices of her friends below. Something horrible was happening in the Castle! Why wasn't it registering on any guages??? The Overheat Monitor was dark and silent as was the Imminent Meltdown Indicator. She focused on the locator, watching all the individual blips converging together in one of the Castle hallways. Suddenly total understanding clarified the situation. They were gathered outside a bedchamber!!! No wonder it wasn't registering on her guages! They didn't honestly think she would monitor the private bedrooms, did they???? Abra shuddered, the very idea was too squicky to even contemplate! She flipped a switch, watching the telltale life signs, the heart rates and breathing of the people gathered in the hall. Yes, the panic levels were dangerously high. Mass hysteria was not far away and she was worried for the safety and mental health of her friends. As she hesitated, she watched several pulse-rates rise dramatically, and she decided she had no choice. She activated another control panel, unlocking the protective cover. Two toggle switches were there, marked "rdln" and "ad". She'd never used them before, but it appeared that now it was necessary. The sounds of violent pounding and tortured screams coming from the speakers made up her mind, and she flipped both switches before hitting "deploy". She knew that the nano-technology of her Vat was capable of blending the two meds and safely removing any harmful side effects, delivering it in a safe and soothing mist via the air ventilation system throughout the Castle. Her expression was pensive, and she listened carefully for a few minutes, satisfied as she watched the heart rates slow and heard the voices calm.......... With a spoken command, she turned back to her previous project, smiling serenely as the tones of her favorite cd once again pulsated through the control room. She hoped she hadn't overreacted. Oh, well.....if she had she was sure she'd hear about it! *******