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I dream and I lose myself. These feelings stay once I force myself back to this. Of worlds, places I tell myself that a person should never stay, lest my grip here be loosed and never returned. I watch other's dreams and I crave those realities that flash before my eyes. How is it I feel more at home in a dream not even my own than in the only place I do exist? The places I long to be; not evil, not good, yet not here. Do I wish to escape this completely? No, that much is clear. I search for myself, and I find a multiverse comprised of the endless dreams of others and I find peace, for only a moment before the waves of reality wash away my castle of sand and dreams. I feel lost here, but I am equally lost there. The dreams that once terrified me; who threw me here, now paint a picture, one that can be shaped, but never truly formed and I cannot fear them anymore, even if I tried. The horrors of this pale to what terror I created, the darkness swore to swallow me whole, yet I prevailed. The cost of escape was my dreams, my very gift, a curse as I believed, was locked away, buried, and a part of my soul with it. Did they reflect the hell I was to endure? And now, do my dreams speak of the future once more? Could they? I see the dreamscapes of others, and I build upon them realms not even I can describe. All I know is of their existance, and I am there as much as I am here, but I choose to remember this. Just as I cannot describe the splendors of my endless dreaming, there is something here, something wonderful that I also desire without name, and it guides me, leads me to better things, yet I still crave that what I already have. Reality for them to have substance, the gratification from solidity that would surely cause my creations to wither and die. This is most definately poison; this world and most in it, yet it makes us strong and my dreams with it. To lose touch with the physical is to depart from the spiritual, and all loses its meaning. This being the case, is it up to me to create that which I feel this reality is lacking? To add to other's dreams, as they have so freely given to mine? Would I? How can I? The ease of an endeavor does not determine its quality, and through that, effort is key regardless of its difficulty, and is something I must do if I ever wish to seed my dreams. |
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