|
|
|||||
|
There is a lot of pressure to lose your virginity - that is, to have sexual intercourse for the first time. Having sexual intercourse with someone because you want to lose your virginity or because you think all your friends are doing it, is something you may not feel so good about later. You may feel lots of anxieties, especially the first time you 'go all the way' - have sexual intercourse. You may feel embarrassed about how you look without your clothes on, or worried about your privacy being disturbed. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication is the key. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner who is also probably feeling nervous will ease the tension. Before having sexual intercourse you should think about whether you need to use contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy and condoms to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).
Yes, a girl can become pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse. So, you must use contraception the first time you have sexual intercourse, if you don't want to risk becoming a parent.
The age of consent, that is the age at which it is legal to have sex, depends on which country you are in, and in the United States the law is different in different states. In England and Wales, the law says it's illegal for a boy to have sex with a girl who is under sixteen and for two boys to have sex before they are eighteen. There is no law against two girls having sex together at any age.
For some people sexual feelings are bound up with love and close relationships. Some people think sex should only happen within marriage. For some people sex and love are two different things. What is important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). But also emotional risk such as the regret you may feel afterwards.
There is no absolute right age to start having sex. What matters is whether it is the right time for you. It also depends on what you mean by 'having sex'. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse. Giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate. It's a way of sharing and showing love. For some people these activities can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse. You get pressure from people talking about sex. You think, 'I've got to go and see what it's like.' It's hard, but you've got to resist and do what you want. It's very important not to feel pressurized into having sex when you don't really want to. Just because your friends say they are 'doing it' doesn't mean they are. Thinking through all the implications of having sex can be a useful way of helping you arrive at a decision. There are lots of reasons why people don't want to have sex. You may feel that you are not ready emotionally. Being pushed into having sex could mean you regret it later on. Some people have quite strong religious or cultural beliefs. Other just want to wait. Some people call this decision to wait 'abstinence'. The decision to abstain from having sex can be either a long-term decision or a short-term one. Some people decide that they do not want to start having sex until they are married or in a significant long-term relationship. Other people may decide that having sex isn't the right thing for them at this particular time. Later on they may meet a person who they want and feel ready to have sex with. The decision whether to have sex or not is an important one. You should do what is right for you. It should be an informed decision, and not one based on fear or pressure from others. But when a boy and girl do decide they want to have sexual intercourse, they should think about using a contraceptive unless they want to become a parent. Gay men should also think about using condoms. Condoms can help stop infections like HIV as well as reducing the risk of getting pregnant.
Many boys and girls are concerned that it will hurt the first time they have sexual intercourse. It can hurt and some girls do bleed a little bit. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of the vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already having broken her hymen without knowing about it. For example, this can happen as a result of playing sports or horse riding.
|
