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Cheater's walkthru for
Larry Vales II:  Dead Girls Are Easy
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(NOTICE:  all actions to be performed via the mouse will be in CAPS.)

ACT ONE:
* You will begin outside of a fast food restaurant *

EXAMINE the sidewalk
SPEAK TO the window
TOUCH the children
RESIST arrest
PUNCH the large police officer in the neck
FONDLE the unconscious police officer
RETRIEVE the adult diaper from unconscious police officer
WEAR adult diaper on your head
SING the main theme from "Superman III"
IRRITATE "Macho Man" Randy Savage
MOURN loss of The Junkyard Dog
JUMP into Yoshi's saddle and ride to World 2-1

ACT TWO:
* You will begin on the third floor of the Sears Tower *

READ the horoscopes
COLLECT the star-sign Pisces
HURL the boomerang at Paul Hogan
OBTAIN Paul Hogan
ATTACK the crimson mechanical pencil
THRUST crimson mechanical pencil at Stegosaurus
SWING bula-bula
RELEASE bula-bula when it is facing Portugal
JUSTIFY actions to parole board
REPLACE parole board with checkerboard
PLAY checkers
BLUDGEON Teletubby with ball-peen hammer
GATHER strewn chunks of skull
MASSAGE Paul Hogan
EAT Paul Hogan
DRINK Paul Hogan
APOLOGIZE TO Paul Hogan
SET FREE Paul Hogan
WATCH Paul Hogan romp through the tall corn flowers
WHISTLE "Born Free"
HITCH-HIKE to Omaha

ACT THREE
* You will begin in a giant hamster sphere *

SHAKE HANDS with President Dole
THWART assassination attempt
RECEIVE Congressional Medal of Honor
PITCH Congressional Medal of Honor at Sasquatch
SPANK Sasquatch
INJECT a little humor into your sermon
ROTATE Planet Earth 17 degrees East
BASK in the warm glow of Sol
LEARN the kazoo
IMBIBE quart of expired prune juice
VOMIT portal to 1657
ASK portal to the Sadie-Hawkins dance
PICK UP remnants of dignity
STOP crying
MASTURBATE

ACT FOUR
* You will begin submerged in a giant containter of fine graphite *

FINAGLE your way past the armed guards
GOOSE freelance dishwasher
CURSE OFF plate of roast beef
LISTEN to resultant cry for help
VISIT St. Anthony
KISS St. Anthony's schnauser
SWIPE spare copy of "The Grapes of Wrath"
LIST all occurances of symbolism or metaphor in "The Grapes of Wrath"
WRITE a six - ten page dissertation on your findings
PAY ATTENTION to your spelling
JAM with Jimmy Page
SCRATCH Jimmy Page's nose
SPROUT pair of wings
FLAP wings
SOAR to Cloudcuckooland
GIVE raspberry preserves to Grandma Moses.

ACT FIVE
* You will begin in several separate Mason jars *

PRAY to the golden calf
KILL Alexander Graham Bell
CLAIM to be afflicted with scurvy
INHALE chalk dust
DISGUISE your iguana as a druid
RENT "This is Spinal Tap" (it's hilarious!)
TOPPLE Stone Henge
IMPERSONATE Urkel:  "Did I do that?"
REPLACE Pete Best with Ringo
SUBJECT YOURSELF TO Mr. Stephanie's Pretend Haircut
BODY SLAM Santa Claus
PRY lid from tin of kippers
STUFF your face
WEILD mop handle
SEDUCE Jo-Jo the Nazi
INSULT Jo-Jo the Nazi when he is at his most vulnerable
CONSOLE Jo-Jo the Nazi
PARALYZE Jo-Jo the Nazi
KICKBOX coffee table
CLIMB Mt. Widowmaker
BED the resultant widows

ACT SIX
* You will begin down the front of Paul Schaeffer's pantaloons *

RESTRAIN the mutant Trapperkeeper
SHOW the sailor a good time
PREPARE Prince Lou for the worst
RETRACT Prince Lou's invitation to the Taco Bell Easter Bash
CHANGE fish into loaves
EXTRACT pine needle from big toe
EXCHANGE big toes with Claudia Schiffer
JAB Rosco the Stamp Collector with Claudia Schiffer's big toe
LEAP through the breeze
EXHUME ex-President McCarthy
JOSTLE ex-President McCarthy
PROPHESY regarding the destruction of Jerusalem
MASTICATE your food
MOVE your bowels
ENUNCIATE your adverbs
EMANCIPATE George Washington Carver
CHEW the fat

Congratulations!  The princess is yours!  Enjoy the fancy parade!