We Thought Melissa Had a Twisted Mind

 

 

 

 

***First Day of School***

 

Mary & Melissa Anthony and Tabitha Chesonis walk into their new history class. Their new teacher, Mrs. Lucrezia Noin-Peacecraft, tells them to find the seats with their names on it. The seats are in alphabetical order by surname. With four in a row they take up three of the first row. There is a seat between Melissa and Tabitha.

 

Melissa: I wonder who sits there?

 

Mary: So look at the name.

 

Tabitha leans over her desk to check the name She reads it then quickly sits back again.

 

Tabitha: (almost breathless) No way!

 

M & M: What Who?

 

They are interrupted as the Gundam boys walk in.

 

Mary: Look at that butt!

 

Trowa walks over to Tabitha and looks at the desk in front of her. He takes a second to read the name then he sits down. Tabitha gives a high pitched squeal. Mary's eyes follow Quatre longingly as he sits on the other side of the room. Melissa sighs as she looks at Duo every five seconds.

 

Mary: (sarcastically) Don't we love alphabetical order.

 

Wufei searches for his name. He sees that the are order by family name. He walks down the first row. Mary tries to stick out her leg to trip him; unfortunately, he jumps over it and glares at her. She smiles back innocently. He walks past Melissa, who has dreamy look on her face. He nods at Trowa, who nods back. He stops to read Tabitha's name.

 

Wufei: (to Lucrezia) Woman!!!

 

Lucrezia: (tired tone) Wufei, now that I'm your instructor, please call me Mrs. Peacecraft.

 

Duo makes noise of surprise.

 

Duo: Peacecraft?!

 

Heero: She married Zech-I mean Millardo.

 

Duo: Oooooohh!!!! (dawn of understanding goes across his face) (a rarity, I know) ;)

 

Wufei: WOMAN!!!! My family name is Chang! My seat should be here!!

 

Wufei points between Tabitha and Trowa. Lucrezia checks her roll sheet.

 

Lucrezia: I'm sorry, Wufei. I guess I forgot you. You can sit behind Heero.

 

Wufei: (under his breath) Women!

 

Wufei walks to sit behind Heero. Lucrezia looks over her new class. Her eyes stop on Duo Maxwell, she smiles, she has wanted to do this a long time.

 

Lucrezia: (sharp authority sounding voice.) Maxwell, this isn't a Christian private school.

 

Duo looks innocently back at her, puzzled. Several "kids" in the class giggle behind their hands. Melissa looks very angry that Mrs. Noin-Peacecraft is picking on Duo. 

 

Lucrezia: So you better have a new outfit by tomorrow morning!

 

Now the class reputed into fits of heavy laughter, Melissa was very mad at both the teacher and the class, and Tabitha could have sworn Heero Yuy was smiling. 

*Class goes on and we learn history stuff (like Columbus discovered Africa and two plus two is five) O.K. maybe we didn't pay attention to class, maybe we were looking at the Gundam Boys!!!

*Class ends

 

Mary: Is that Happy I smell?

 

Quatre's face turns a startlingly red and he giggles. 

**Day goes on**

Period two- Mary and Tabitha have the same class and spend the entire period talking about the Gundam boys.

Period Three- Quatre and Melissa were assigned a project on "Human Relationships" They walk together to lunch. 

 

Quatre: This subject has a wide range of subjects within it.

 

Duo spots Quatre and walks up to him. He sees Quatre is talking to someone else so he decides to walk next to him anyway. Neither Melissa nor Quatre see him.

 

Melissa: Yea, I know. Maybe we should do a little on each: love, hate, friendship, etc.

 

Trowa sees them, he was a little weirder out because this cute girl kept on looking at him in photography, he thinks it's the same girl who sits behind him in history. Any ways, he walks beside Duo, completely ignoring Duo's attempts at conversation. Quatre and Melissa don't even see him.

 

 Quatre: That would take a lot of time-

 

Heero spots them he comes over and just nods at Duo and Trowa. Duo doesn't even try to start a conversation. Quatre and Melissa don't even notice him.

 

Melissa: I know, but it would make a good first impression, and besides what are you afraid of?

 

Wufei notices them and walks beside Heero, not looking anyone. Duo sighs, the only other Gundam pilot worth talking to is completely ignoring him.  

 

Quatre: Bunnies and tea. Besides I was only trying to see if you were committed to what you say.

 

Tabitha and Mary were walking together, they see Melissa and the Gundam boys.

 

Mary: Is she hitting on Quatre?!

 

Tabitha: No, she wouldn't be!

 

Then run to Melissas side. Only Trowa reacts, and slight facial surprise is shown.

 

Trowa: (thinking) It's the girl !!!!!!! :o        (weird sci-fi music)

 

Melissa: When it comes to schoolwork & and boys, Im always committed.

 

They come to the line for food and abesent-mindingly take trays. Their friends stare at them in amazement , then they take their own trays.

 

Quatre: That's good if you what to keep a study boyfriend, besides your right.

 

Melissa: I love it when people say I'm right, say it again.

 

Quatre: I'm right. We should do all subtropics.

 

They pay to much for your food and begin to walk to a table.

 

Melissa: (fake laugh) Let's talk about it later. Here's my number.

 

She takes his arm and a pen and writes her number on his arm. Within a few minutes they both up at there friends.

 

Quatre and Melissa: Hey guys! How did you get here?

 

After School-Tabitha's Room

 

Mary: Murder 101 is the coolest!!!!! Not to mention it has a nice looking teacher.

 

Tabitha: I thought you liked Quatre.

 

Mary: I do, but they are all cute!

 

Tabitha: So, we going to tell them?

 

Melissa: Let's just scare Heero by telling them what we know.

 

The girls laugh.

Melissa's phone rings she gets up and goes through the door on the left wall of Tabitha's room. 

 

Melissa: (picks up the phone) Hello? ... O, hi (looks maliciously at Mary) Quatre ... Yea ... Hate ... Don't ask ... Physical attraction ... no, no it's more like lust ... Shhhhh!! ... O.K. ... O.K. ...      (Again she looks at Mary) MY SISTER LIKES YOU !!!!!!!

 

Mary runs into Melissa's room grabs the phone and puts it to her ear, only to hear the dial tone.

 

Melissa: He already hung up. (Evil laugh)

 

Mary looks at her clock.

 

Mary: Oh, no it's 6:30!

 

She runs into her room.

 

Tabitha: What was that about?

 

Melissa shrugs.

 

*Next Day Wednesday, September 8

 

Period One-Melissa, Mary and Tabitha walk into Mrs. Noin-Peacecraft's room. Mrs. Noin-Peacecraft wasn't there, however one kid was and Duo Maxwell was at Heero Yuy's desk setting  whoopee cushion on the seat. He was humming the Gundam Wing theme song. Duo put a finger to his mouth when he saw the girls, signaling them to be quite when Heero came in. Melissa sighed and had an I'm-in-heaven look on her face, which to Mary and Tabitha meant trouble. The 3 girls took their seats. Trowa Barton walks in, sees Tabitha and drops his books in surprise, and stands there with his mouth open for a moment. Then he quickly swooped down to pick up his books. He takes the long way around to his desk to avoid seeing Tabitha.

 

Duo: Smooth move, Romeo!

 

Wufei walks slowly in the room, mumbling about his lousy classes. Mary turns to look at Melissa and the sisters smiled and giggled. Trowa looked suspiciously at them, and they turned to look at the desk Mrs. Noin-Peacecraft was now sitting at. All the rest of the "kids" and Quatre (looks from Mary) filed into the room. The bell rang and Heero was fashionably late. Mrs. Peacecraft gave him a detention slip (the school is very strict about its tardy policy) Heero was so ticked off by the Slip that he didn't even notice that Duo was giggling like crazy. He sat at his desk and therefore on the whoopee cushion, letting all the air out. The class erupted into fits of heavy laughter. Heero looked at Duo, who was laughing the hardest. Heero stood up without taking his eyes off Duo, picked up the cushion and handed it to Lucrezia. Heero still was looking at Duo, and Duo couldn't help but get nervous.

 

 

Lucrezia: I won't ask who did this (glance at Duo) but I will warn you not to do it again or I will punish you.

 

Heero was still staring blankly at Duo, and Duo began to sweat.

Quatre wrote a note to Melissa about the project they had to do. Duo read it (check picture to understand) He wrote "Quatre thinks you sister is hot." on the back of the note, and sent it to Melissa. Melissa read it and, not reacting to any to any of it, she answered Quatre's questions and then wrote " Mary thinks the pilot of Sandrock is hot." this was a bold move, and it let the boys know something that could cost the girl their lives, but they had agreed hadn't they? Duo read the note and smiled the look on his face said 'so they know' he passed the note to Quatre who read it and he blushed at first, then he mouthed to Wufei and Heero "They know who we are."  Trowa tensed up.

 

Heero: (Still looking at Duo) Forget it.

 

Lucrezia: Forget what Heero?

 

Heero: (still looking at Duo) We need to learn history. We'll ask about it later.

 

Lucrezia: (confused) Ooookay.

 

The boys relaxed, Mary smiled maliciously, boy they could get really worked up.

Did you know that China's a continent? Guess we didn't learn anything that day either.

 

*Lunch

 

Boys hadn't showed up yet, Mary, Melissa and Tabitha were eating at the same table.

 

Tabitha: Photography is really cool!! Mr. Green is really good at his job, he really loves photography.

 

Mary: The question is do you pay more attention to Mr. Green, or to Trowa?

 

Tabitha: (small low voice) Trowa.

 

M,M&T: (**giggles**)

 

Melissa: Wonder if they will ever speak to us again.

 

Tabitha: O, come on Unl-

 

Duo: Hey you lovely ladies!!

 

T,M&M: Hi Duo.

 

Duo comes to the table and sits down in front of Melissa.

 

Duo: Are you and Quatre going to talk about that report again?

 

Melissa: No, we had a nice long conversation about it last period. He said he had to and check on Sandrock. He refused to tell me where it was.

 

Duo: (hesitate for only a second) Good, Deathscythe Hell is on the moon. (laughs on own joke)

 

Tabitha: In other words, ain't no way in Hades you going to tell us either.

 

Duo: (bats eyes) Maybe if we get married.

 

Heero comes and sits next to Duo staring at him blankly.  Duo tries to ignore him, but soon cracks.

 

Duo: All right, all right, it was me. I put the whoopee cushion on you seat!

 

Duo flinches waiting for a beating, Heero just looks at his own food then begins eating.

 

Duo: (sigh) I'll never understand this guy.

 

Trowa comes and sits far from Tabitha. Wufei comes and sits next to Trowa. Quatre walks in, gets his food and sheepishly sits next to Mary. They both blush. Duo leans over the table and cups his hand over mouth, pretending to tell Melissa and Tabitha a secret.

 

Duo: You see, only Quatre knows how to deal with a crush normally. Wufei, well do you see Wufei getting a crush, I don't. I have no idea how he got married.

 

Melissa: Forced marriage, poor girl.

 

Duo: (smile) Good one. Anyway, Heero thinks something's wrong with him just because he starts getting warm fuzzy feeling for that Peacecraft girl. Trowa, well (Swings head dramatically toward Trowa, then looks at Tabitha.) And I run and hide under my covers until its all over

 

* Everyone doubted that.

 

Duo: But Quatre goes and sits right next to the girl he's crushing'  (in a loud voice) Way to go Quatre!

 

Mary and Quatre blush like crazy.

Bell rings.  

 

Duo: Hey Melissa you seemed really bored yesterday during our free period. So how about us spending our time together.

 

Melissa: Really I wasn't at all-

 

Duo: No need to go back to that horrible day.

 

Tabitha and Heero say things at the same time.

 

Tabitha: Be careful what you tell him.

 

Heero: Be careful what you tell her.

 

Duo and Melissa: I will.

 

Duo and Melissa look at each other and smile.

 

Mary: Don't we all love secrets!

 

Quatre: Mary, don't you have Drama next?

 

Mary: Yea, and so do you.

 

Quatre: Well, do you want to walk together?

 

Mary: Of course!

 

They walk off together.

Day goes on. Period Six-Math

Wufei sits dreamily in front of Sally Poe the teacher.

 

Duo: (Whispering to Melissa) O.K. maybe Wufei can have a crush.

 

Melissa: (Whispering to Duo) I pity her.

 

Sally taught them important Math stuff.

Bell Rings-all get up to go. Heero and Mary walk off to Murder 101 together. Quatre sees them.     (Spooky, creepy, jealous type music)

 

*Thursday Set. 9

            

Lunch-Same table

 

Quatre had been less talkive than normal, also he also kept throwing Heero dark looks all day. At lunch Trowa sat one seat closer to Tabitha. Duo was across from Melissa. Heero, Quatre and Wufei were away with the Gundams. Wufei came back first.

 

Wufei: The heads of this school are useless and lazy! They haven't fixed my schedule yet!!!

 

Mary gives evil laugh, everyone looks at her but since she gives no explanation every one goes back to there own food.

 

Tabitha: What's wrong with your schedule?

 

Wufei: It's useless, just a bunch of women talking about things they don't understand! The Sisterhood is stuff like flower power and hippie mediation.

 

Duo starts to laugh at the mental picture of Wufei as a hippie.

Heero walks into the cafeteria. He gets his food and sits next to Duo. Quatre walks in next, he gets his food and walks angrily to Heero.

 

Quatre: (coldly-Pay attention boys and girls Quatre being cold is rarer than a black pearl!) Miss Relena asked me to give you this!!!

 

He throws a note at Heero it lands in Heero chocolate pudding. Heero picks it put and slides it in his pocket, chocolate pudding and all.

 

After school - Tabitha's room

Melissa is playing with a camera Quatre gave her to capture moments of Human Relationships. Tabitha is looking out her widow.

 

Tabitha: Hey is that Heero?

 

Melissa and Mary rush to the window just in time to see Heero Yuy sneaking into Relena Peacecraft's school.

 

M, M&T: (**Giggles**)

 

Tabitha: (in a tone that tells you she doesn't) I wonder what he's doing?

 

Sep. 10

Period One-M, M, & T and the Gundam boys walk into Mrs. Noin-Peacecraft's room to find Lucrezia and Millardo kissing on Lucrezia's desk. Lucrezia's papers are all over the floor, along with Millardo's shirt.

SNAP!! FLASH!!

Lucrezia looks up to see her students.

 

Heero: Hi Millardo.

 

Millardo: Uh, hi... Heero.

 

There is a rush as Lucrezia and Millardo put things back in order.

Melissa smiles at Quatre and hands him a slowly developing Polaroid picture.

 

Melissa: (Whispering to Quatre) Love.

 

** Quatre got over his jealously of Heero because Heero explained Murder 101 to him. Now, however he is trying to tell Mary violence isn't the way. (FAT CHANCE!!!) ;-)

 

Lunch-All Gundam boys left to the Gundams.

 

Melissa: One of these days we are going to have to follow them!

 

Tabitha: Yea, I wonder if they really talk to talk there Gundams!

 

Weeks pass-Mary and Quatre have been on two dates. (Once to the movies and dinner and once to dinner and the circus - No pun intended, Trowa lovers) Trowa moves ever so closer to Tabitha. Melissa and Duo flirt earnestly.

 

After School-Melissa's Room

Quatre and Melissa are adding finishing touches to their report. Quatre looks around Melissa's all black (and I mean that literally) room. The last page of the written report comes out of Melissa's black printer on her black desk. She grabs it.

 

Quatre: This room is too gloomy, no wonder Mary is taking Murder 101.

 

Melissa: (in a rush) What Mary does is up to Mary (in an important listen-to-me tone) About our report, we are missing a picture for an angry confutation.

 

Quatre: My lease favorite of these sub-topics!

 

Melissa: This shouldn't be too hard. All we have to do is follow Wufei around, he's bound get angry with at least one of his teachers each period.

 

Quatre: Not every period.

 

Melissa: Yea, at least he still has Taw-Kong-Do

 

Quatre: How do you know that?

 

Melissa: Uh, um, I think I heard him talking about it once. Maybe we should go.

 

Quatre: (getting ready to leave) Is Mary's room this dark?

 

Melissa: No, in fact Mary's room is too bright. Why do you think we hang in T's room?

 

Few minutes later

 

(Corny Mission Impossible music)  Quatre and Melissa sneak around campus, looking for a picture to take. Quatre disappears behind a pole Melissa follows him. Their heads peer from each side of the pole. They run to a sign, their bodies disappear, their heads peer from each side, searching. They run from tree to tree to pole to sign. (Still have music?) They hear a voice.

 

Wufei: Stupid woman!

 

(Remember music is still playing, just lighter when people talk) Quatre and Melissa sneak to Wufei and a staff member.

 

Staff Member: I'm sorry, we have changed your schedule twice, but it changes back.

 

 Music becomes long string of "dos" ending in SNAP of a camera. Wufei looks at Melissa in anger. She tosses the camera to Quatre who, while clutching the camera like a football, runs like the wind to Melissa's room. Wufei follows him, but sees no reason someone like Quatre to run into a room like this. He leaves the room and runs down the hallway, confused, searching for Quatre Raberba Winner.