(except Amy Belanger, so a special "hi!" to her :p ) So, I would like to
make this topic: How come he never calls -or- What do I do if my hair falls
flat?
Well, let's start out by saying this; Have you ever sat down and tried to sew
a garment? It's not as easy as it seems. Ha ha. Did you get it? Seems=
seams. Well, I didn't intend to include that stupid little pun in there, but
that's what sewing is kinda like. You sit down with one intention, and you
end up with something that sort of looks like something that it wasn't really
supposed to look like it was supposed to. Make sense? Good. It wasn't
supposed to.
Next, to fully answer the question posed, we must evaluate the many different
uses of dirt. Let's say you wanted to grow some plants. You'd go to the
store and buy some seeds. Well, you can't just drop them in one of those
orange pots that Martha Stewart uses and expect a big ol' geranium to pop
up. You have to water it. And, oh yeah, you need to put it in some dirt.
So, see, dirt has at least one good use. And how about when you were little
and you asked your mother if you could go outside and play. What would she
say, "Just don't get your good clothes all dirty." And, if you were the good
little child, you would go out in the yard and play with the best toy ever --
dirt. So, see, dirt has at least two good uses.
So, see, we're getting closer to answering that nagging question.
Finally, the third part. Nail polish remover. This potent smelling stuff
has lots of great uses, just like dirt did. Let's say you are one of those
people who paints your nails. Just pretend with me, ok? So, you're walking
around with purple fingernails when you see a small bottle sitting on one of
the racks in the store. Now, this isn't any ordinary bottle, it's a bottle
of nail polish. And it's bright orange. Now, next to this nearly blinding
fast-drying bottle of orange nail polish, your purple fingernails look
downright stupid. So what do you do? You buy the orange nail polish
(because it's on the clearance rack for less that $1) and you take it home.
But you can't just put it on over the purple, you need to use, yup you
guessed it, NAIL POLISH REMOVER to take off the old stuff. And, in a
different scenario, let's say you broke your favorite ceramic doohicky that
you have laying around the house. Now, if you want to fix it you need to get
some super glue. So, you search for the super glue and when you finally find
it you can't get any out. So you stand there squeezing the bottle, when all
of a sudden it squirts out and you end up super glueing your fingers and
hands together. Now, aside from being rather uncomfortable (not to mention
stupid-looking) you need to find something to get your fingers and hands
apart. So, you find . . . NAIL POLISH REMOVER. You pour it into a bowl and
soak your hands for a while. Your fingers still aren't coming apart, though,
even though you know that nail polish remover is supposed to help. Hey,
Dummy, it's probably non-acetone nail polish remover. That won't work on
super glued hands. Sorry!
So, I hope this has helped you realize Why He Hasn't Called -or- What Do I Do
If My Hair Falls Flat.
-Sarah