or so, but it seems like a while. I guess it depends on what your definition
of "a while" is. I mean, to me it's about a week and a half for purposes of
these Doses, but to you it might be three weeks or so.
Anyway, this is my mailing list, so I have full reign over definitions of
words. I am thinking of starting my own dictionary, but I wouldn't want to
put poor Webster out of a job, you know . . .
So, today's topic is utterly stupid (since I haven't really encountered an
event that deserves to be mentioned tonight).
"What," you may ask, "is today's topic?"
Well, I answer you, today's topic is the validity of third parties when they
pertain to the sending of refridgerators overseas illegally.
Now, to begin, we will start at the beginning. And, once again, I am the
composer so I get to choose where the true origination of the onset of the
beginning is.
And I say that to totally understand any of this we must first answer that
pivitol question: how do you get gum out of your hair?
Well, some say peanut butter, others suggest ice. But my thinking is, just
get out your handy scissors (but you have to pronounce it "skiz-irz" to truly
get the effect of the stupidity) out of the drawer and start chopping away.
However, be prepared for the repercussions that may occur if you stick gum in
your sister's hair and mom has to cut it out (right Mindo?).
Hmm, let's see . . . next I think that we need to say something about beaded
jewelry to help clarify my original point (and for those of you who have
forgotten it already, I will remind you that the original posed statement
went something like "We are going to talk about the Ukraine and how it
differs from the planet Mars.")
So, beaded jewelry. Have you noticed that people have recently been sporting
those whole conglomerations of bracelets that are somewhat the same color,
but not really? I have to say, I, too, own a cluster of those cute
bracelets. Mine are green. Not just regular green, but a mixture of ugly
greens. And, think about what happens if you happen to break one of those
bracelets, or any other beaded piece of wrist- and/or neck-wear. All of
those eensty weensty beads fly all over the room. See, I always just solved
the problem of searching for those beads by buying a whole bag of them that
were never strung together to begin with. It works much more effectively if
you scatter those loose beads all over the floor. Carpet adds a whole other
dimension of fun . . .
And, lastly, we need to address the issue of what to do when you have really
long red hair, and a black sweater. Well, here's my advice: don't wear a
black sweater when you have really long red hair. There are a couple reasons
behind my suggestion:
1) First of all (that's why I numbered it '1' because it is the first item on
my list. Get it?) you look like you just stepped out of a Halloween . . .
well, you look Halloween-y (for all of you who remember my so-
called "halloween-y" outfit, you will find a tad bit of humor in that phrase,
so I'll say it [or type it] one more time (or "a third time" for those of you
who are keeping track): Halloween-y.)
2) Let's say that you have this tendency to comb your hair out with your
fingers once in a while. Well, if you do, then you end up with red hair all
over your hands, sweater, and living space in general. So, not only do you
have really long red hairs on your black clothes, but in your
carpet/laundry/bed/toothbrush. Ok, well, not your toothbrush, but you know
what I mean. Wait. I guess if you don't have long red hair, then you really
don't know. But just pretend you do.
And, here's another little suggestion: don't comb your fingers out with your
hair. It doesn't work.
And, here's one for Amy Belanger: Army Hairpits. 'Nuff said.
So, I hope this has given you a better understanding of why you should always
keep a Halloween tree, an Easter skeleton, and a Christmas Bunny on hand in
your closet. If not just for kicks.
-Sarah